Lauren's POV:
I walked through the large archway into the church, staring at the coffin as I did so. My heart was thumping in my chest and a lump was stuck in my throat. I looked around at the sea of people as they turned to look at me with sad eyes. The rows were full of people. People from school, family and friends from a few towns away.
I made my way right down to the front, where my mum and dad were seated on the first row alongside Jake; he looked up at me with blood shot eyes and arms covered in dried blood. I felt sick; he looked like some sort of crazy terrorist as he sat in the church with a black hoodie to cover his features.
I sat at the end of the pew, right next to the coffin and took a deep breath. My eyes flicked to the coffin and I fixed my gaze on it. The smell of varnished wood filled the church, mixed with the over powering scent of dead roses. The flowers that sat on top of the coffin were dried and wilted into each other. It made me sad, sad to see that someone was that careless to place dead roses on my sister's coffin.
I rose from my spot and took a few steps towards the coffin, gently gathering the flowers into my hands. Crisp petals dropped easily from the flower and danced down onto the coffin once more.
I stood there for a minute, eyes fixed onto the roses as the petals all fell from the flower and landed on the floor, leaving only the stems in my hands.
But I was distracted by a knocking sound coming from the coffin. I frowned and locked my eyes to the petal as it jumped from the vibration coming from the coffin.
"Get me out... Hello" it was Erin. My heart was beating faster in my chest as the lid slowly slid off. My eyes widened when I saw Erin sit up from inside.
My eyes started to water, but I just stared. She twisted her head to the side to look at me and a smile broke out on her face. She extended her arms and leaned towards me.
I was startled at first but then I leaned in but didn't hug her back. She didn't exactly hug me though; she held my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. The next thing that happened almost made me cry. "Lauren, Lauren honey, wake up"
The words came from Erin's mouth, but it was not her voice. It was my mums. Erin started shaking my shoulders. "Lauren? Come on, you've got to wake up. It's time to get ready" I shook my head as I felt the tears welling up.
Erin lightly touched my cheek, but I knew it was mum. I moved away from her touch and shook her hands off of my shoulders. A tear slipped from my eye and I shut my eyes tightly.
"Sweetheart. Wake up" My mum whispered again.
I slowly opened my eyes and cried out, remembering my dream. "Mum, she was alive, she woke up" I struggled to get it out because I had such a dry throat but I managed as I sat up and wrapped my arms around my mum.
"It ok honey, just take deep breaths and come get some breakfast" She whispered into my ear. I just nodded and unwrapped my arms, wiping my eyes with my PJ top as I did so.
We walked down the hall to eat bacon and eggs on toast before we had to get dressed for the funeral.
I looked in the mirror to see a person of sorrow. A person of grief. A person of loss. I stared into the eyes of the reflection in front of me, telling her that we would be happy. I stood in a black knee length dress with a black knee length coat. It was freezing outside with the wind blowing the autumn leaves around and leaving the streets a mess.
When mum sent me the text message, I didn't want to even think about her funeral. But now, it's all I can think about and I really wanted it to be over already. Matt and Lilly are joining me, and I sent Jake a message as well. I shouldn't have bothered, knowing that he wouldn't want to attend because he was in a dark place at the moment. But he was close to Erin and deserved to at least receive an invite.
I picked up my black clutch and filled it with tissues knowing I was going to need them. Turning the doorknob to my door, I walked out of my room, giving a quick glance to Erin's bedroom door, trapping her belongings inside. I headed down the stairs in my small heels just as my parents were silently collecting their things. They both looked up as they saw me and gave me a sad look. I flicked my eyes between the both of them seeing their tear filled eyes as they stood in their black clothes.
We walked outside and silently slid into the car, knowing that the trip was going to be as silent as anything.
We wove through the streets and to the church where a crowd of people were standing outside dressing in nothing but black. It reminded me of a murder of crows waiting around for scraps.
We made our way into the crowd, hugging everyone there. Their condolences filled my ears and all I could do was give a small fake smile and proceed to the next person. I didn't look at the next person as I hugged a man not much taller than me. I wondered who it was because they hadn't said anything yet.
I frowned into their shoulder before I heard them sigh out "I'm so sorry for how I have been behaving for the last couple of days. Please forgive me?" I matched the voice to Jake. A smile crept up onto my face and I put my forehead onto his shoulder as I let a tear roll. He leant his head against mine and I just hugged tighter. I can't believe he came.
I finally pulled away and looked into his eyes as I held his shoulders. He looked so much better. He didn't look tired anymore and his face was back to its normal colour, but there was still one more thing I had to check. My smile dropped and my eyes flashed down to his arm. I grabbed it and slowly pulled the sleeve of his tuxedo up. There were no new cuts and they were slowly disappearing into normal Jake again. It was almost as if they were never there. I smiled widely and threw my arms back around him. "Thank God your back to normal" I whispered, almost to myself.
He let out a low laugh and pulled away. "I did it for the best" He nodded before going off to my parents.
I smiled, suddenly feeling good, knowing that my nightmare was not true. Even though it wasn't the ideal place to be smiling. I was still happy because the people I care about have healed themselves of the grief and I'm just so grateful that Jake came altogether.
"I've got to go find Matt I'll see you inside" I touched Jakes shoulder as I disappeared off into the crowed in search for him. I soon spotted Matt at the entrance of the church, leaning against the stone wall. I made my way over to him feeling happy that Jake was better. I had a small smile on my face and he looked at me with a hint of confusion.
He pushed off of the wall with a slight frown. "Not the occasion to be smiling I didn't think" He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked forward as he spoke in a hushed sort of voice.
I shrugged "Yeah I know, but Jake is back to normal and I'm just really happy about that" I paused and hugged my coat closer to me. "And Erin would be so happy as well, so I'm smiling because if she were down here, she'd whoop my ass for not smiling" I added as I looked up at the gloomy clouds as they hung in the air like mist.
I looked back down at Matt as he just stared at me with a gleam in his eye. "What?" I asked, with a slight frown, wondering what on earth he was staring at.
I must have shaken him from his thoughts as he flinched a little when I spoke. "Huh" he asked, shaking his head a little.
I just laughed at him and shook my head grabbing his hand as I walked past him and into the church. Everyone followed in and took their places in the rows. I lead Matt down the middle isle of the church when my eyes suddenly found the coffin. My eyes were fixed onto it as I stopped walking and I could feel my heart in my throat. I tried to swallow it back down, but it wasn't going anywhere and it defiantly wasn't going to slowing down. I thought about how Erin was inside and what had happened in my nightmare. I stood stiff but Matt just ushered me forward again holding onto my shoulders as he walked behind me.
"It's ok, just keep walking sweet" He whispered right next to my ear.
We walked right up to the front row just as my parents were entering the pew on the other side. My mum and dad placed themselves at the end of the row and held each other's hand tightly. I scooted along the seat so that Matt and I were in the middle of the row because I wanted Jake on the other side to keep an eye on.
Jake soon made his way into the church, his eyes meeting the coffin. He stopped dead, just like I did and he took a step back. I rose from my place and quickly walked down the aisle towards him. I stood in his line of vision and grabbed his wrist gently. "Come on Jake" I spoke in a low voice, giving a little pull on his wrist. His eyes tore away and he looked at me before taking a deep breath in and walked alongside me.
I walked him all the way back down to the front pew and we took our seats again. He shook slightly as his eyes layed on the coffin once more. He sort of a stiffened and shifted on the seat. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as Matt layed his hand on top of mine. I looked down at his hand and then up to his face as a small comforting smile appeared. The corners of my lips tipped up and I looked back to the front as the ceremony began.
I zoned out as the slideshow played and my eyes were fixed. I heard Jake sniffling beside me but I didn't turn to comfort him. Pictures rolled by of Erin and I when we were little, dressed in the same clothes, or at parties when we were much older, they would only have been taken a few months ago. My eyes blurred and I pulled my hand from underneath Matt's to wipe away the tears, but as I cleared my eyes, all the pictures of Jake and Erin came on and it just made me cry even more. A pain stabbed inside of me and I turned to look at Jake who was wiping his eyes as he sniffed, trying to hold in his tears.
He turned to me and we just stared at each other for a second as we let the tears fall. It was all too much for both of us, but we stayed seated. I looked up and took a deep breath before looking around the church at all the people, realizing that pretty much everyone was in tears, or on the verge of them. As I looked around, some of them caught my eye and looked at me with sorrow. I quickly looked away and faced the front again as my parents stood up the front.
"Erin isn't gone. She never left in the first place" My dad began. "She has never left our hearts, and she never will. Just because she isn't physically here with us, she is still among us spiritually" I searched his face for emotion as he tried to hold everything back, but he just kept breathing deeply, not letting anything get him down.
As my eyes wandered to mum, I could see that she didn't care about crying in front of people, she let some tears roll as she moved the microphone towards her. "We all love Erin so much and if we could hear her now, we all know what she would be saying" My mum had to pause and wipe her eyes with a tissue before speaking again. "She would be yelling at us for crying and tell us to get over it. We know that she is in this room, sitting in one of these rows, listening to us mourn, so baby girl, just know that we will be strong for you and we will continue life... Because we know that you will always be watching us" She sniffled and stepped down from the microphone quickly taking her seat again, wiping her eyes.
My dad soon followed and Jake rose from his seat. I grabbed his arm and looked up at him, he looked down at my hand with sad but gentle eyes and I released him. He walked up the steps and repositioned the microphone.
He cleared his throat before speaking "As you all know, I was the lucky guy who got to have Erin's heart. I- uh- last week, I went through a rough patch after Lauren and her boyfriend tried to help me. I was in such a terrible state that I- uh- I didn't even leave my room" He paused, feeling a bit uncomfortable; he scratched the back of his neck. "I was truly a scary sight and to add to this... I -uhm -I cut myself because I didn't listen to the people I care for and only scared them away. But I have changed now." He looked down at me from behind the microphone and gave the tiniest hint of a smile. "Rest in peace Erin" He whispered before stepping down and taking his seat again.
I looked at him and slowly smiled, patting his knee in congratulations. It must have felt good to get that out of his system instead of keeping it contained forever and ever.
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The ceremony ended and most of the people came back to our house. We didn't have anything prepared, but dad went out and bought some beer for the adults and some soft drinks for the under 18's.
It was nothing special, just a small get together with the people who had no plans after the funeral.
Jake invited his mum and dad around and Matt invited his mum, for they both expected to be staying for a while and didn't think that they should leave their parents behind.
As they arrived, they talked to each other before heading inside. "Ah hello, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Dianne" Matt's mum, Dianne introduced herself to my parents.
They smiled and shook her hand. "Yes, likewise" my mum smiled.
I watched from the couch as they talked and laughed. It made a small smile creep up onto my face. I rose from my spot and walked past them towards the back door, where some other people were. I walked over to the eskii and grabbed out some fronti. Most people have no idea what fronti is but it is my absolute favorite bubbly drink. I poured a glass before screwing the cap back on and putting it away, walking over to our swingy seat and sitting down, kicking my shoes off and putting my feet up. The seat gently swayed back and forth and I listened carefully to the soft scratching sound it made.
I was pulled from my thoughts as Matt walked through the door and stood in front of me. I looked up at him from my lounged position and smiled. He waited for a minute and just stared at me before finally noticing that I had no idea what he was waiting for.
"Are you going to give me some room?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as he waited for a response.
I looked at my legs that were taking up the rest of the seat and looked back up at him again. I shook my head "No, I'm quite comfy at the moment" I answered it as if it were just a general question as I hid my smile very well.
He raised his eyebrow at me and a sideways smirk appeared on his face. I cracked into a smile and took a sip of my drink, eyes focused on his perfect lips. That face was so damn irresistible I just couldn't help it. I stayed in my position and just watched him as I finished my drink.
I leant down and put my empty cup on the ground before pushing myself back up and meeting his gaze again. He began to move closer and he was soon right in front of me and bent down to be just under my eye level. He rested his elbows on his knees and stared at me with a devious smirk. I frowned at him. What was he going to do?
But there was nothing. He didn't move an inch. His eyes bore into mine as he stayed as still as a statue.
A smirk slowly crept up onto my face and I bended my legs a bit, making some room on the seat. I watched his eyes as they quickly flashed to watch my legs. I smiled and stretched them out again, making no room once more. His eyes came back to meet mine before he stretched out his arms and scooped me up. I squealed at the sudden movement but laughter soon followed as he sat on the swing seat with me on his lap.
I wriggled off and went back to my position with my outstretched legs as I sat sideways on the seat.
My legs draped over Matt's from the knee down. He rubbed my legs, ridding them of goose bumps that I didn't know I had. Suddenly feeling the cold bite at my skin, I grasped onto my arms and rubbed them quickly. Matt looked up at me before awkwardly shrugging out of his jacket and placing it over my arms.
I looked down at it and smiled. "You know, I could have just gone inside and grabbed a jacket" I told him as I pulled the jacket up a bit.
He just smiled and shook his head. "You wouldn't move to let me sit down, so I highly doubt you would have abandoned your precious swing seat to go get a jacket from inside" his point was valid and very true.
"True" I admitted with a light nod of my head.
He smiled "Well I'm glad you said that because I would have been highly offended if you chose a jacket over me"
I leaned forward and pecked his lips lightly, barely touching them "I'd much prefer to be cuddled up next to you in the freezing winter, than leave you to be warm in a nice winter coat" I smiled as I brushed my nose against his.
He just smiled back and cupped my cheek with his hand. "You're adorable" he chuckled.
I softly laughed at him and kissed him again before leaning back and closing my eyes. "Only for you"
For he is my everything now.