Everything is a blur for Kara, literally and figuratively. The reporter was on autopilot. It's been two weeks since the synthetic Kryptonite wreaked havoc on Sam. They have no idea why she had this adverse reaction to it and it's getting frustrating because they are nowhere with development.
Daily life has taken a toll on Kara. She feels as though she hasn't had a moment to breathe. There has been an uptick in crime in National City and the mood seems to have spread to the neighbouring towns. Kara has had to take on more work than she usually would.
None of that accounts for having to take care of four grieving people. Kara has known Sam the least. They have a great relationship with one another but it isn't on the 'sitting down and gossiping' level yet. Both of them have had a hard time since the Reign incident. Of course Kara doesn't hold a grudge against the girl, it's just underlying anxiety that won't be shaken just yet.
Kara wishes that she was the one to sink into the coma instead. It's a horrid thought, a self-pitying thought, she just can't help but feel so helpless in all of this.
Alex has been a wreck, trying to cope with feeling like she has lost a part of her soul and having to deal with a destructive Maggie. Kara can tell that it's tense, there has been no arguments, no outburst, but the silence is just as bad. Maggie had gone back to work three days in, having taken too many sick days off recently isn't looking good and she can't put off work any longer. Since crime has been rising, she is being worked twice as hard with cuts and bruises to prove it.
Alex knows she has to take care of her little girl, but Alex just can't bring herself to force Maggie to slow down. Maybe it's selfish but the agent feels just as lost as she knows her little girl is.
Lena has thrown herself into her work. She has taken on the role of CFO so her workload is piled high. Sometimes the girl falls asleep at her desk. The Kryptonian just sweeps her up into the midnight air and doesn't mention the tears she's had to wipe away the next morning.
Everyone is stressed. Everyone is sad, broken, angry. They have no idea what to do. They have all put their brains together to try and fix Sam. They gave the synthetic Kryptonite a week to flush from her system, they tried the red sun bed, yellow sun lamps, and blood transfusion. For fucks sake Kara even tried praying again but nothing is working.
Sam's heart races at odd times, she breaks into a sweat. Her adrenaline spikes and the only hope this family seems to be holding onto that Sam is mentally alive is the pain-filled screams that rip through the Kryptonian at odd hours of the night.
It's a piercing sound. One that is seared into each one of the memories, an image that they hold onto, Sam beat red face, her hands crushing at the bars, thrashing body, angry heavy tears soaking the blue and white hospital gown.
It's a nightmare that they all live through, one that they wish they would wake up from.
........Day Seventeen, DEO Med Wing........
Alex has been staying at work more, sitting more on the sidelines directing her team at Winn's console. They still have no idea what is going on with Sam. They can't tell if she is still in pain, if her wails of agony give any sign, it's that she probably is. Alex can't shake the feeling that something is wrong though. She has tried her hardest to study Sam's physiology, comparing her bloodwork to Kara's and Clark's. The agent is at a standstill.
"I have no fucking clue how to help her!" Alex is alone in her office, sifting through paperwork, many of them identical. Copies, having sent for blood work just to make sure nothing was screwed.
Maybe I just can't help her.
What takes Alex out of her self-loathing thoughts with her office door squeaking opening and shutting with a sharp click.
Maggie has barged in and flops herself down on the redhead's couch.
The shorter girl can't help but feel a bit relieved. It's almost three in the morning now and after work she was planning on going home but knew she would arrive there in an empty apartment. She doesn't think she can handle the thoughts that would plague her in the silence.
Alex knows that she has been neglecting her duties on being a girlfriend, on being a Mama. Maggie understands, Maggie doesn't want her Mama right now without her Mommy right by her side.
Alex can tell that her little bug needs her, she is trying her best, but she knows that she has to focus – But she needs you idiot, everyone is trying to save the same, save Maggie, don't repeat what happened last time when you ignored your little girl's feelings.
The director internally sighs at herself, realising the extent of her neglect.
She puts away her paper. Alex puts on her coat and gathers her things to leave. She can feel Maggie looking at her, probably perplexed as to why they are leaving so soon, as if it's not three in the morning on a Wednesday.
She gets the coat Maggie throws down and motions for the girl to put it on.
Maggie raises her brows on confusion, "Lex we-"
"We are gonna head home. I think we have both neglected ourselves these past two and a half weeks." Alex motions the jacket towards the girl again, silently asking for her to listen.
Maggie obeys slowly.
The redhead helps the detective zip the jacket snug, "We are gonna tell Sammy good night and then go and have a very late dinner." At that the detective's stomach growls.
"I'm not that hungry...."
Alex takes the girl's hand and rolls her eyes, "You say that as if I didn't just hear your stomach. I know you didn't eat till breakfast." She lets go of her girlfriend's hand to lock her office door but quickly grabs it back up. "That's my own fault really, I should have made sure you ate."
Maggie scoffs and her face scrunches up, "I'm an adult, I know how to feed myself." The girl can feel Alex unconsciously squeeze at her hand, it makes her soften. "It's not your fault anyways, we have a lot going on, I just forget."
Alex doesn't buy it but she leaves it be. They slowly and quietly open the door to Sam's room. It's a rarity that they see their girlfriend's face lax, they would almost call it peaceful. It seems that Sam episodes are getting fewer and farther between. They aren't too sure if that's a good thing or not, no one is holding their breath though.
Maggie hesitates going into the room. Out of these past two weeks, she has visited Sam on the first day and the day after. She was there for Sam's episodes and it scared her. Little and Big Maggie couldn't be there. She is ashamed of this fact, ashamed that she couldn't be there for her girlfriend who is in obvious pain.
You've taken on drug dealers, you've been shot, kidnapped, abused, and you can't be there for your fucking girlfriend? Pathetic.
Maggie shakes out of her internal monologue when a hand drags her closer to the white bed.
Both Maggie and Alex observe the body before them. Alex has no idea that Maggie had not been visiting Sam, and Maggie is grateful that Pam hasn't ratted her out.
"Come on Mags." Alex lets go of the detective's hand and grabs the toiletries on the hospital's end table. She grooms Sam, brushing her hair from her face, braiding the ends in loose ponytails. She wipes at Sam's face, happy that she doesn't have to scrub dried tears away. They changed Sam's close this morning so all Alex really has left to do is give her their ceremonial kiss.
She doesn't want to push Maggie, knowing that interacting with Sam's unmoving body takes a toll on the mind. The redhead takes an easy step back towards the detective after she rinses off her hands.
The director slowly drags her little girl towards the body. She moves Maggie's hand to rest lightly on Sam's face.
The tenderness almost breaks Maggie. She has gone through two and a half weeks without crying, she doesn't want to break that streak now, she isn't sure she would be able to breathe again. Crying is an admittance of defeat. This isn't over yet.
Maggie looks at the taller girl lying lifelessly in the bed. The painting makes the detective sad, angry, her heart sinks. If that stupidly beeping heart monitor was attached to her, it might have detected a flat line.
Alex has taken her palm off her Maggie. Maggie's hand moves on its own. Touching all corners of the Kryptonian's face. Committing the soft skin under her palm to memory.
"I miss you Sammy." The little girl's lip wobbles. She sucks in a quick breath, hoping that the tears don't fall. "Come back Sammy, we need you."
Maggie quickly snatches her hand away. "Can we go home now Lexi?" Maggie internally curses herself for slipping with the names twice. You can't be little, it's too much, not without mommy.
Alex can see the signs of Maggie dropping. "Come on bug, let's take you home." Maggie sighs in relief. Still a bit sceptical about it all but she lets herself be led to their car.
Alex straps the girl into the back seat without prompting, this irritates the shorter girl a bit. This is one of Alex's tactics to get the girl to feel small and taken care of.
"Playing dirty I see Momm uh -Danvers." The girl grumbles in the back seat. Alex looks at her in her rearview mirror, giving her a genuine loving smile.
Alex starts the car and pulls off into the street, " I have no clue what you're talking about." Alex stretches in her pocket, while still looking at the road she hands Maggie her phone. "Order something from that twenty-four hour place. They should be there by the time we get home."
Alex holds her little girl's hand all the way up to the house. They eat without talking. Maggie is being messy with the food, the shorter girl can't tell that she is dropping. All she knows is that these noodles are extra slippery.
Once they finish, Maggie's face is covered in grease and sauce, Alex suggests a bath.
Maggie pouts at that. She is sleepy, and she feels like she is gonna explode soon and she isn't even sure why. "But I'm tireeeeed." She accentuates that thought with a stop of her foot.
Alex can see all the signs of an incoming meltdown; she would do anything to stop what seems like the inevitable.
Alex grabs onto the girl's arm gently and guides them to the bathroom. She silently seats the girl on the closed toilet lid. Maggie rubs at her eyes tiredly, the director can see the girl trying to stop her tears.
The taller girl dims the lights and lights two scented candles. It's almost a romantic setting, but rather than trying to serenade the girl, Alex hopes that this atmosphere is calming. She quickly pulls out her phone and plays soft instrumental music for background noise.
Alex takes off the girl's clothes, the girl almost falling over own feet. "Come, we will have a bath," Alex takes off the girl's underwear and puts both of their dirty clothes in the hamper, "Then I'm gonna wash you to be nice and squeaky clean," Alex punctuates that with a twiddle to the little girl nose, which makes Maggie laugh. "Then we are gonna cuddle in bed for as long as we need. You'll feel better cleaned, alright, bug?" Alex seats them in the bath when she gets a sleepy affirmative smile from her baby.
It's mainly quiet, except for the occasional slap of water when Maggie's hands meet the little waves of water. Alex thought the girl probably would have passed on playing with her bath toys. Anytime the two adults were in the bathroom together and Maggie would look at the tub, she would frown or even scowl at the little pink mermaid. It seemed to make the girl angry, but Alex never pointed this fact out.
It did make sense though, with all that was going on. Her bug didn't want to be little without her Mommy. Alex understood that she herself didn't even wanna head back home at night, leaving Sam alone at the DEO. But Alex knows that it's not healthy for them to stop everything and wait on Sam to get better. Alex needs to take care of her girl. She has learned her lesson from the last time she ignored emotions.
Alex pats at the girl's shoulder softly, startling her awake. "Let's get out now, it's getting a bit cold." Alex guides the girl up and puts on a large fluffy towel around her while guiding her out of the tub. Alex unplugs the water and wraps a towel around herself.
Maggie picks out one of Sam's shirts. She has been wearing the older girls' clothes since they admitted Sam to the DEO hospital. Once she dresses her girl, they get into bed. Maggie speaks for the first time since dinner.
"Mama,'' the girl said, a bit slurred. She clutches Fluffy to her chest and her blankey curls up on half of her face settling right below her nose where the smell of her Mommy's perfume is running low.
Alex shuffles closer to the girl and turns out the light with the tap of her phone. A blue glow takes over the room along with a soft noise maker, it will probably have Alex dreaming of the ocean and she knows she will wake up to a little girl singing about riding whales in her dreams.
"Yes Bug?" The redhead has her hand over the girl's tummy, rubbing it gently to soothe the girl to a peaceful rest. The little's eyes flutter, they snap open and remember she had something to say.
Her thumb still in her mouth, anxiously staring at her Mama's eyes. "Am I gonna see Mommy 'gain?"
Alex tries to not seem shocked by the question, her own body betrays her though. Alex almost shakes, knowing that she doesn't have an honest answer to that.
Maggie dutifully sinks her face into the crook of her Mama's neck, crying herself out knowing she won't get the answer she so desperately wants.
The Mama guides the weeping girl to her unclothed chest, pointing a nipple in the direction of the little girl's mouth. It takes a moment for the girl to latch, trying to calm her nerves down lest she accidentally nips at her Mama with her chattering teeth. Once they both get a comfortable position, Alex pats her little girl's bottom. It doesn't sound like it would if it were padded. Alex's gentle hand steadies both of their hearts.
"I'm sorry bug. I don't wanna lie to you." Alex head reels, trying to voice just one word of reassurance, but she was frozen. It's awful that the reality of their situation leaves them to fend for themselves. It hurts, it hurts to the point and maybe having blind hope is better than just giving up.
"We won't give up bug," Alex kisses the girl's forehead, feeling the evening out of ragged breathes.
Across the city, Sam's heart speeds for a split second and then regains normal rhythm. The Kryptonian has tears in her eye that she knows Alex will be upset about wiping off when they revisit her the next day. Sam tries, she really does, she hopes - Sam just smiles through the pain, hope is strong, hope is all she has.
"I love you, good night bunny. Good night Lexi"
A/N: very angsty here, god IMAGINE the fucking pain this family is in, it hurts, god it hurts.
Much love tho :))
~ Alex