Mia had managed to convince her parents to let her have the house for a weekend early in the summer before they took over. It had given her mild anxiety to call her parents up and ask for such a favor. She wasn't even sure why she was doing it. It wasn't as though max had been a good friend lately. But Maxine was Mia's oldest friend, pretty much the only one whose name her parents remembered. So it wasn't that difficult of a sell when she noted the weekend was indeed for dear old Maxine. She had texted Drew to confirm the date and outside of that, she had pawned off the responsibilities. He could handle it. He had been polite but cold in their brief text exchange and she figured it would be the same in person.
After their fight, Mia had gotten a call from Maxine who had finally gotten around to asking her to be her maid of honor. She'd given her a list of women to invite to the weekend and what she would and would not tolerate in terms of games. Ideally, Max wanted a chill weekend by the pool with lots of champagne, maybe a trip to the beach and some phenomenal food.
What was supposed to be a three day weekend quickly devolved into just Saturday and Sunday due to Max's work schedule. At first, Mia was disappointed. She wanted, no she needed, the time out of the city. But one less night around Drew wouldn't be the worst. Besides, she would head up there early and get a good night's sleep before the crowd arrived. She had deliberately declined offers to drive on Saturday morning. The last thing she wanted to be was stuck in a car with Maxine's doctor friends or worse, Drew and Mike. No, Mia instead chose to come out east via train on Friday morning to have some peace and quiet.
When she arrived at the house, it was as though she was transported to another time and place. A simpler one at that. She had grown up here in the summer. The house held memories that no other place did. She eagerly opened the windows, letting in the cool early summer breeze seep in. She could hear the birds chirping. By nightfall, that sound would be replaced with the hum of crickets and cicadas.
Stepping outside, she put her feet in the grass then in the pool, dipping her toes gingerly in the cold water. She needed to remember to turn on the heater before everyone arrived. Everything felt better when she had more room to breathe. It was no accident that she thrived in fresh air and crumbled in the city life. She had always been meant for wide open spaces, Hamptons or otherwise.
The next morning after a quiet night of Netflix and take out Italian, Mia awoke to the sound of the side door opening. She had texted Maxine to let herself in using the key under the mat. But she'd wrongfully assumed Max would show up at a normal person hour. Reaching over to check her phone she read the time and groaned. 7 am. She hadn't even had time to buy groceries yet.
She could hear the murmur of a few voices in her kitchen and hauled herself out of bed. She threw on a sweatshirt over her pajamas and padded down the stairs thankfully remembering to remove her permanent retainer first.
"Hello hello!" Max sing-songed as she spotted Mia from the kitchen. The side door was open and Mia could see Mike emptying items from their rental car.
"I'm so happy to be here! Sorry we didn't mean to wake you up." Max gave her a quick squeeze before turning around to the open door.
"Guys, come in come in make yourselves at home." Mia was confused. She had confirmed with the other girls that they weren't arriving until 10 am. Who could Max possibly be talking to?
She went about putting on coffee and ran her hands over her eyes. She heard a few voices but her brain hadn't quite caught up to processing anything yet.
"You will just love it here. Mia's parents designed the entire thing and it's amazing." Maxine was arm in arm with a blonde woman who looked vaguely familiar. She was leading her down the hallway outside of the kitchen and into the living room.
"Oh my god, this backyard. Are you kidding me? I can't wait to jump in the pool!" The voice was higher pitched than she remembered. But she couldn't get a clear visual.
"Mia where do you want me to put the beers?" Her attention swung from the living room back to the side door where Mike carried two cases of beer.
"Oh in the garage is fine. Here let me get the door." Mia pushed herself off the counter and opened the garage door. Mike thanked her eagerly and she shut the door behind him. The women's voices disappeared deeper into the house leaving only Mia and the sound of the coffee machine.
"Hey you." Mia practically jumped out of her skin. Drew had walked in the door and she was taken aback by how bad he looked. He had lost weight and the circles under his eyes were darker than usual. His clothes seemed to hang off his frame as opposed to wrapping them tightly as per usual.
"Um, hi." She turned to greet him but was intercepted.
"Oh my god, babe. Did you see the guest bedroom? It has its own bar. The only thing this house needs is a hot tub and I'll be set." Mia stared dumbfoundedly at Casey. It had to be her. The glossy blonde hair. The fake bubbly personality. The nicknames.
Drew coughed pointedly at Casey to redirect her to their host. "Mia this is Casey, my girlfriend."
"Oh my god hi! How rude of me. I didn't even seen you." Mia ignored the fact that she was directly in her line of sight for the last four minutes. Before she could protest, Casey closed the gap between them and pulled her into a hug.
"It's sooo nice to meet you. Maxy has told me so much about you and thanks for letting us stay in your house. It's gorgeous." She turned to Drew who gave her a half node of approval.
Mia shook herself awake, willing herself out of this nightmare.
"Right, hi it's nice to meet you too. Welcome. Sorry I'm not fully awake yet. I just put some coffee on if you'd like some." She pointed to the machine over her shoulder slowly sputtering to life.
"That's so sweet of you." Casey was bouncing on her heels.
"Feel free to give yourselves a tour. I'm going to go put some clothes on." With her permission Casey immediately opened the back door and headed for the yard.
"Hey" Drew nudged her. When she turned to face him he gently pulled her in for a hug. She let herself burrow into his chest for a millisecond.
"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair before immediately pulling away and following Casey's footsteps outside.
Mia took a deep breath while pushing her unruly bedhead out of her face. This was not the way this was supposed to go.
With Drew and Casey outside, she took her cue to hide in her bedroom. Maxine knew the house well. She could be the hostess for the moment. Slipping into her childhood bedroom she closed the door behind her. The door wasn't nearly thick enough to stifle her sobs so she moved into the bathroom and closed yet another door before grabbing a towel and smothering her face into it. Her body shook with sobs. This was a nightmare. How could he do this to her. It was bad enough he was dating someone but to bring her here and without warning? What was wrong with him.
She could still feel his hot breath in her ear as he whispered his apology. She didn't want an apology, she wanted a full-fledged do over. She wanted a reality where he called her the day after the engagement party, professed his love and they lived happily ever after. If that had happened, she could have been here in her house with him this entire weekend. They would be sipping wine on the back patio and talking about how excited they were to celebrate Max and Mike the next day. It could be like their lives were intertwined not intersecting at all these godforsaken points.
She heard a knock on the door as she heaved air back into her lungs.
"Mia? Are you in there?" Max's voice came through muffled but not concerned. Mia stood up from her seat on the toilet and looked at herself in the mirror. Some cold water and fresh make up would do the trick.
"Yep just getting dressed!" She said brightly. She didn't care if it sounded fake. This weekend was now about survival and the best way to do that was fake it to make it.
"Right, sorry! We're going to all run out and grab some muffins and maybe hit the local farm stand. I'll pick you up something okay?" Mia stared at herself in the mirror. Maxine didn't even ask if she had wanted to come. Maxine wanted a picturesque Instagram worthy day out east with another couple. Mia could practically see the caption now "best day with the best dates" and some rando emoji to go with it.
"Yea that would be great thanks, see you guys later." She listened for Max's footsteps retreating from her room and waited until the car pulled out of the driveway before going back downstairs to retrieve her cup of coffee.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee she leaned back against the counter. This was an absolute fucking nightmare. She had forty-eight hours to get through and it was going to take every ounce of her self-control not to lose her shit. She clutched her coffee cup like it was a flask of whiskey and dutifully sipped in slow, measured movements until she had finished it. She had entered an almost meditative trance when her phone buzzed indicating the rest of the girls were pulling into the station shortly. It was time to face the music. After running upstairs to throw on a t-shirt and shorts, she grabbed her keys and pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. It was time to face the music.
Six hours and seven drinks later, Mia didn't have a care in the world. Mike's friends had set up a keg and a beer pong table. She surveyed the backyard and it was tastefully littered with girls in bikinis and boys in swim trunks all peacefully coexisting. If she didn't know any better, this would be an advertisement for Frankie's Bikinis or something else nautical in nature.
She sipped her still cold margarita. Someone had found a blender and made a batch a few minutes ago. Or maybe it was hours ago. It didn't matter. Mia had nothing to worry about. Everyone was self-sufficient and as long as she didn't look directly at Drew she was fine. Technically as long as she didn't look anywhere to her left, she was fine.
Because to her left was Drew with Casey on his lap. They were in a larger group of people hanging out on the couches. The table in front of them was covered in margarita glasses and solo cups. Out of the corner of her eye Mia could see Max being handed a bride sash and light up penis.
"Ladies. It's time. We need to take our bride out!" One of Mia's random friends called from her spot in the pool. The women around her shouted their agreement and one by one began getting out of the water. Mia hadn't planned another activity. This was the bachelorette party – a mixed gathering of men and women. Exactly what Max had requested.
"C'mon Mia. It's time to go get changed. We're going out!" Casey clambered over to her grabbing her hand. She was drunk. Mia caught Drew's eye and he smiled at her. It was a cross between a smile and a wince but only she would catch the hidden emotion.
"Where are we going?" Mia was genuinely curious.
"Some place Drew booked on the water. He got us this amazing table and the sunset is supposed to be incredible." She said amazing like she was Cher from Clueless. Mia's skin itched with the desire to rip Casey's hands off of her own body.
"What about the guys?" This was Mia's last shot to convince everyone this was a bad idea. She didn't want to be responsible for twelve women on the prowl in the Hamptons for rich husbands and booty calls.
"Oh Drew hired a hibachi chef and he'll be here soon. Then they're doing a bonfire on the beach with cigars. You know, guy stuff." Casey seemed to have all the answers which made Mia hate her even more. There was nothing objectively wrong with her as a person. But she couldn't stand the fact that Casey had her finger on the pulse of a weekend that technically she had nothing to do with.
Mia tried to play off her confusion as forgetfulness. "Right yes, I remember something about that. I guess I'll go get changed." She extricated herself from Casey's grasp and moved towards the house following the trail of women all eagerly changing into their going out clothes. Mia hadn't even thought to pack a going out outfit. She'd have to rummage through her mom's closet to find something semi-suitable.
When she arrived downstairs twenty-minutes later, her suitable outfit was a far cry from everyone else's pomp and circumstance approach. The women looked incredible. They had each decked themselves out in variations of crop tops, miniskirts, leggy sandals and somehow glitter. Everyone seemed to be sparkling to some degree except Mia who had chosen a perfectly normal Staud sundress for the occasion.
"You look nice!" Max came out of nowhere and gave her a squeeze on the shoulder.
"Are you having fun?" Mia played with the strap that had fallen off her shoulder.
"Yes it's amazing. This is so great." Mia waited for Max to land on a thank you but it never came.
The ring leader of Max's doctor friends piped up once again.
"Right ladies. It's time to go. We only have one goal, make sure Max can't remember anything from tonight. Do you understand me?" A chorus of yes popped up around her and Mia looked to Max for confirmation that this was in fact what she wanted to do.
Judging from Max's glowing expression, the ring leader had hit the mark. It was time to get blackout drunk.
Stumbling into the house a few hours later, the women shushed one another as they tried to make their way into their respective bedrooms. Max had her arm slung around Mia and Casey as the navigated the floor covered in shoes, bags and who knew what else.
"Guys this was the absolute best." Max slurred her words into Mia's shoulder. The last bar had put everyone over the edge. She should have known to call it quits before karaoke at the Lobster Shack.
"So good Maxy, so so good." Casey herself was equally struggling. Mia had watched her rip no less than six shots in under two hours. Needless to say, she was not doing well.
"C'mon Max, you're in here." Mia led the way down the hall into the guest bedroom. Max and Mike were sharing with Casey and Drew.
"Sleepover!" Casey exclaimed as she saw the boys had rearranged the beds so they fit in one room instead of two.
"God I loved camp." Mia had no idea what Max was talking about but she lowered her into the bed as gently as she could. Once released from Max's death grip, Casey curled into her own mattress face down.
"I'll bring you guys some water." Even though the room was spinning Mia could navigate this house with her eyes closed. She ripped off her heels and padded into the kitchen turning on the under counter lights. The house was a mess but at least everyone would be gone tomorrow before noon. It would give her ample time to clean up before her parents showed up on Monday.
Grabbing whatever towels she could see, she made her way towards the laundry room to put in a load.
"Hey you," Mia jumped as Drew's figure came out of the darkness.
"Jesus what are you doing??" She put a hand over her heart to slow its rapid rate.
"I was getting water and saw a light on." He gestured to the glow from the kitchen.
"But where did you come from? I was just in your room."
"Oh we're outside still. The hibachi chef taught us how to flip shrimp so we've been practicing with bottle caps all night." He walked out of the laundry room a few feet and gestured for Mia to follow. Sure enough, there was a light glow from the fire and she could just make out the silhouette of most of the guys.
"Let me help you." Drew easily moved past her back into the room shielding them from the outsiders viewpoint. He bent down to pick up the towels she had dropped on the floor. Mia had to lean back against the wall to give him space to put them in the washer and she held her breath as he remained inches from her own body.
It wasn't fair how badly she still wanted him. It must be the alcohol talking. But she wanted him. Despite everything he had done and failed to do, she wanted his lips on hers. She focused on regulating her breath as Drew hit start on the machine and turned back to her.
"There. All set." His look of triumph turned to concern. "Mia you good? You look like you've seen a ghost." She suddenly felt very weak in the knees and her vision was going a bit blurry.
"Mia? Whoa, okay I've got you." She felt herself sliding to the floor. Any control she had over her body movements was gone as her vision went from spotty to black.
Suddenly she a slight tapping across her face.
"Mia? Hey. Hey there you are. Come back to me." Drew was cradling her in his arms and they had both ended up on the floor of the laundry room. She turned away from him then towards him, feeling the soft fabric of his t-shirt on her face. Her arms and legs felt tingly.
"You scared me for a second there." Drew brushed her hair out of her face and slowly propped her upright putting one leg behind her for support and wrapping his arms around her torso.
"Did you have any water today?" Mia shook her head. She was still regaining feeling in her extremities. Why was he asking so many questions?
"Mia look at me. Over here." He waved a hand in front of her eyes and she forced herself to turn towards him.
"You fainted or passed out. I don't know they might be the same thing. Are you okay? Will you be alright if I go get you some water?" She nodded dumbly. Drew removed himself from around her and edged her slightly back towards the wall, keeping her propped up with extra towels from the beach towel pile.
"Don't fall over okay. I'll be right back." She heard the sound of water running and his footsteps back to her. He bent down and handed her the glass. When she was able to hold it with her own hands, he took a seat next to her on the floor, knees propped up like they were high school kids sitting against their lockers.
"Are you okay?" He looked at her with nothing but concern. Had Mia not been so out of it she would have kissed him right then and there. But he had a girlfriend, a Casey. And she was the girl who had just passed out in front of him.
"Here let me take that from you." He gingerly took the water glass from her and draped an arm around her shoulder pulling her in. She hadn't spoken a word yet but nuzzled into his shoulder with ease.
"There we go, we can stay here as long as you need alright? How are you feeling?"
Mia willed herself to speak. In truth, she felt disoriented and nauseous. But more so than that, she felt scared.
"I'm okay, everything is a little blurry right now and I can't really feel my hands." She looked down and stretched out her palms repeatedly but the feeling of tingling wouldn't go away.
"Give me them." Drew reached for both of her palms, cupping them gentle in his own. He systematically began rubbing the blood back into them. Had Mia not been so out of it she would have found this funny. Drew taking care of her, being all knight in shining armor.
After a few minutes he moved his hand towards her face, cupping her chin gently as he raised it up.
"What do you see? What color are my eyes." Mia struggled to focus on his irises but not because she had passed out. Because she wanted to look anywhere but at them.
"Erm, green."
"Wrong try again."
"I don't know I think blue?"
"What color blue?" He held onto her like he was holding the most fragile thing in the world and perhaps at this moment she was.
"I don't know Drew they're blue."
"They're cerulean."
"What the fuck?"
"And she's back folks. Glad to see you're still reactive when I try to be over the top." Mia pushed his hand away from her face and he raised himself up to standing. He extended a hand towards the floor.
"Alright, it's time to try standing up. You need to get to bed." She raised her hand to meet his own and allowed herself to be pulled up with little effort. Her legs still felt weak and she grabbed onto his arms instinctively to protect herself from falling.
"Hey I've got you" he whispered into her hair. "You're okay Mia, I'm right here." Drew wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer than before. She breathed in his scent. She was so tired. So utterly exhausted that she didn't have the energy to protest.
"Bed time hun, let's go." Drew easily picked her up and carried her to bed. The flight of stairs proved to be no obstacle and when her met her bedroom door he didn't even need to move her to open it.
He placed her down into bed and Mia groaned.
"What is it? Are you okay?" His hand flew to her forehead and she brushed it aside.
"Yes I'm fine, I'm going to be sick though." Mia lunged away from him towards the bathroom and crash landed on the cold tile. Between hurls she felt one of his hands on her back. The other held her hair.
"Shh you're okay. It's okay." Mia wrapped both arms around the toilet as she cried into the bowl. She had nothing left to expel. All the alcohol from the night had come up in one fell swoop but now she felt empty and embarrassed. Two feelings she couldn't stand.
"Don't cry Mia. You're alright. I'm right here." Mia pushed herself away from the bowl, grabbing a tissue to wipe off her snot and vomit covered face.
"You can't be here Drew." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"I can't do this with you. I can't be here with you and with her. I don't like being reminded that I'm the woman you didn't pick." She sucked in fresh air and fought the rising bile in her throat.
Drew was silent as he stood inches behind her. The bathroom was two small for this conversation but Mia didn't trust herself to get up.
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"I'm sorry you brought her."
"Hey that's not fair. She's my girlfriend Mia. And you're..."
"I'm what? Not?" She couldn't care less anymore. He had seen the absolute worst of her. She was currently sweating, sticky and gross. He had seen her faint and throw up all in one night and now he would see what real vulnerability looked like.
"I'm not your girlfriend? Yes I'm aware. She is. But Drew I can't do this. This is my house. Max is my friend. I can't sit here watching you two be together when it physically hurts me to do it.
Drew's silence hung in the air. She felt him move and with minimal effort, he picked her up off the ground once again. Without a word, he deposited her onto the bed and gently removed her shoes.
"You can do the rest. Goodnight Mia." He backed away from her, only turning towards the door when he was sure he was close enough to open it. She didn't know what he was waiting for. Maybe an 'I'm sorry' or 'goodnight' but she didn't have it in here. She watched bleary eyed as he finally broke eye control and released a sigh so deep she felt it in her own soul. They couldn't do this anymore.
When Mia woke up the next morning, the house was eerily quiet. She rolled over to check her phone. It wasn't morning at all. It was nearly 1:30 pm. She had a text from Max saying thanks for the house and something about dropping everyone off on the 10 am train.
Mia rolled back over into her pillow. Last night was a blur of sights and sounds she would rather forget. Being confronted with the silence of an empty house left her in her own emotions and she hated the feeling of being so helpless and vulnerable in front of Drew. She could never seem to get it right when it came to him.
Hearing her phone buzz she rolled over once again. It was a message from Drew.
"The cleaners will be there at 2. I told them where the extra key was and to stay out of your room. Get some rest. I'll see you back in the city."
Mia groaned. Of course he had gone out of his way to be extra nice and do the kind decent thing of helping to clean the house. She could only imagine what chaos was left over from last night but she didn't have it in her to get up and go find out. Burying herself back under her covers she slept on and off for most of the day. When she woke up around 6 pm she finally hauled herself out of bed.
The house was spotless. Every inch of it had been cleaned to a better version than it had been when she arrived.
She should text him and say thank you. But something stopped her. She didn't want to give any more of herself to him. She couldn't do it. She deserved better than being someone's non-choice.