I regained consciousness in my bed, greeted by a pounding headache. The ache in my chest persisted, and I rose cautiously due to the lingering dizziness affecting my vision. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was already evening. The events surrounding my blackout were hazy in my memory. I couldn't recall what transpired after I lost consciousness in her car. Nevertheless, I assumed it was likely her who brought me back here.
Lumabas ako sa kwarto ko at bumaba sa sala pero wala akong nakitang pigura ng parents ko kaya kumuha muna ako ng tubig at umupo sa couch.
As I drink the water, bigla nalang akong natigilan nang may naririnig ako nagsisigawan. I quickly stood up at pumunta kung saan man nanggaling ang mga boses na yon. Umakyat ako sa hagdan at pupunta kung saan ang kwarto nila mom and dad. Onti-onting malinaw sakin ang boses ng parents ko, nasa loob sila and it seems like they're arguing.
"I will do anything for my daughter, Patricia!" the voice of my father resonate from their room.
"Anton, I know! Naiintindihan kita at gagawin ko rin ang lahat para sa anak natin, gagawin ko din lahat!" Mom exclaimed. Nasa labas lang ako ng pintuan habang nakikinig, inilapit ko pa ang mga tenga ko para malinawan sa mga sinasabi nila.
"Even if it'll cost my life, Pat! Mabuhay lang ang anak ko!" I gasped in silence.
Me?
"Anton alam ko, pero huwag mo namang hayaan na mawalan ng ama ang anak natin dahil sa gagawin mo! Maghanap tayo ng ibang paraan, sigurado akong meron." Mom answered, her voice became weaker and weaker.
"We know na walang ibang paraan, Pat. Pinalitan na natin pero nahihirapan pa rin si Freyja! Alam nating sila lang ang may solusyon sa anak natin." Dad's voice slowly calms down but I heard how his voice quiver.
Dahan-dahang tumulo ang mga luha ko nang hindi ko alam. Listening to them na nahihirapan ay parang mas nagpapahirap pa sakin lalo.
"Sinaktan ka na ni Mr. Gustavo, Anton. If you will go there again, sigurado akong may gagawin pa silang masama sayo." Iyak ni mom.
"Buhay ng anak natin ang nakataya dito, Pat. I love our daughter at alam mong ibibigay ko sa kanya lahat for her to live a normal life," Dad cries echoed in their room. Mas lalong tumulo ang luha ko nang narinig ko ang mga katagang iyon. "I can't bear to watch our daughter struggling to live, nahirapan na siya simula nung bata pa siya, gusto kong..." My father cried again. "Kung kaya ko lang ilipat ang sakit niya sakin, if I could do that matagal ko nang ginawa yon Pat, matagal na sana Pat..."
Their words struck me so deeply that I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Sitting beside the door, I wept silently as their conversations unfolded, their own tears accompanying their words.
The realization that they were concealing something important from me hit me harder than ever. With my heart condition becoming more apparent and their mention of a person whose significance remained unclear, I struggled to grasp the full extent of their intentions and the necessary treatment my body required.
"I'll travel to the US and consult Freyja's doctor there," my dad's voice resonated.
"I'm going with you, Anton," my mom's response followed, still muffled by my sobs.
"No, you should stay here. Keep an eye on our daughter," my dad attempted to insist.
"Anton, I'm coming with you. Let's search for Doc. Fernon Samonte together," my mom's determination broke through, cutting my dad's sentence short.
Samonte? Samonte!?
"Miss Suarez is willing to help us, and I'll ask her to look after our daughter while we're gone," she added.
What? Ma'am Vivien? Does she have knowledge about all of this?
What could they possibly mean by "Samonte"? It suddenly clicked in my mind that Charlotte's last name is Samonte. Naalala ko nung prom night when her parents were announced as doctors. Does Charlotte already know about this? May connection ba ang parents ko sa parents niya?
These thoughts swirled in my head as I hurriedly got up and rushed to my room. But as I swung the door open, the persistent chest pain hit me again, causing me to lose my balance.
"Argh... Ah..." I groaned in pain, struggling to maintain my equilibrium. The weight of my parents conversation about my condition and the unexpected name drop intensified my agony.
Suddenly I heard a distinct footstep, "Anak!?" dad voice echoes as he saw me struggling to rose up from the floor.
Dahan-dahan niya akong inilalayan para makatayo, "Careful.." his voice is soft and gentle. Iginiya niya ako paupo sa kama ko at hinipo ang ulo ko, then he hug me.
"Dad will take of everything, hmm?" he assured, his hands while caressing my hair is soothing. "I love you, just wait a little time sweetie and everything will be alright." He reassured.
"Dad..." I whispered weakly.
"Yes, dad is here. I'm here." He said as he escape her arms wrapping me.
He kiss my forehead, "Stay here and rest. You don't have to go to school tomorrow, Miss Vivien will watch over you while we're away." He said.
"S-saan kayo pupunta..?"
"To someone we know. Someone who knows you."
Tumango ako at pinahiga niya ako sa kama ko. "Your mom is cooking your favorite dish, let's wait for her okay?" Dad said.
Observing my father's gaze fixed on me, I could discern the hidden pain he was concealing behind his reassuring smile. His eyes betrayed his true emotions, and it became evident that he was hurting too. Despite his attempts to appear strong, the weight of my struggles was clearly taking a toll on him as well.
After a brief period of waiting, my mother entered the room with a tray in her hands, bearing my dinner. Her smile held a mixture of care and concealed pain, a reflection of her worry for me. They gently assisted me as I propped myself up on the bed to have my dinner. Both of them tended to me, ensuring my comfort as I reclined on the bed.
"Would you like me to sing for you, Frey?" Mom inquired softly, taking a seat beside me. "It might help you sleep and this is your favorite when you were still a kid."
"Opo," I smiled, as I'm laying down.
Mom began humming softly. It's comforting. Nakikinig lang si dad na nakaupo sa tabi ko.
Sana'y di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang ako'y nasa duyan
Indeed, the melody seemed so familiar. It was a tune that had been a constant in my childhood, a source of comfort during uncertain times. Although the details of those days were hazy in my memory, the song remained a vivid thread connecting me to the past. A Filipino lullaby, its soothing notes had the power to ease my worries and envelop me in a sense of security.
Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing
Ang bantay ko'y tala, ang tanod ko'y bituin
Sa piling ni nanay, langit ay buhay
Puso kong may dusa sabik sa ugoy ng duyan
Her voice was a warm embrace that encircled me like a blanket. Her calming voice filled the room, and the pain started to fade. My attention was drawn to her song as the outer world started to fade. The mesmerizing force of her voice worked its magic with each note, calming my intense anguish.
Sana'y di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang ako'y nasa duyan
Her fingertips made a smooth path across my forehead while she sang, brushing my hair back. I let the comfort of her music embrace me as I closed my eyes. My spirits were up and I was carried away from the pain by the calming power of the words. Indeed this is my safest song - where I feel safe and secure.
Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing
Ang bantay ko'y tala, ang tanod ko'y bituin
Sa piling ni nanay, langit ay buhay
Puso kong may dusa sabik sa ugoy ng duyan
The pain became less intense and was eventually replaced by peace. I arrived at a condition of serenity thanks to my mom singing, which served as a beacon. My eyelids grew heavier as the environment gradually became more fuzzy. I was engulfed in peace by her melody.
The melody faded away yet kept a persistent, albeit far-off, presence. As sleep drew near, the once-intense anguish faded into a hazy memory. Her soothing voice woven a peaceful barrier around me, protecting me from outside concerns.
I gave in to sleep as her voice continued to permeate the room, being carried away by the soft currents of her lullaby.
As I drifted closer to slumber, their gentle kisses graced my forehead, offering a final touch of warmth and affection. The sensation of their tender lips against my skin was comforting, reassuring me of their presence.
They carefully adjusted the blanket over my body, cocooning me in a sense of security. The soft patter of their footsteps gradually faded as they left the room, and the closing of the door marked the boundary between my eyes.
Once more, I was immersed in the depths of the ocean within my dream. Towering waves crashed against my body, yet I still found myself able to breathe. Despite the turmoil around me, I remained silent, convinced that reaching out for help would yield no response in this mysterious realm.
As I surveyed the expanse of the ocean, my eyes widened in disbelief. In the midst of this dream, an eerie sight met my gaze-a lifeless body, adrift in the waves. The figure seemed to blend seamlessly with the motion of the water, lacking a distinct face.
Who's that person?
Driven by a desire to help, I propelled myself forward, attempting to swim towards the unknown person. But once again, a hand beyond my control dragged me back into the depths, and I slipped once more into unconsciousness.
"Frey? You're finally awake," A familiar voice spoke. "Don't move yet, you're body needs to rest for a while." She added. It's Ma'am Vivien, she softly caress my face.
"Ma'am..." I weakly said, "Nasaan sila dad?" I asked.
"They're not here. They need to take care of an important matter." She said, assuring me. I like the softness of her voice.
Dahan-dahan akong bumangon sa pagkakahiga at inalalalayan niya naman ako. Wala siyang magawa kasi gusto ko na talaga bumangon.
"Slowly,"
"Opo, salamat ma'am." I said as I rose my body from my bed.
"Your breakfast is ready, do you want to go down or stay here and I'll just get it there and bring it here?" She softly asked.
"Bababa po ma'am, nakakahiya naman po, tsaka kaya ko naman." I answered, showing my grateful smile at her.
Ngumiti siya sakin and she held my hand with care and guided my body from the bed. Nakatayo akong hawak-hawak niya at inilalayan niya ako hanggang lumabas at bumaba kami papunta sa kitchen.
"I've already prepared your breakfast since maaga umalis ang parents mo." Sabi niya matapos akong alalayang umupo.
"Thank you talaga ma'am, thank you so much." I said.
"It's not a problem. Here, eat this boiled egg." Inabot niya sakin ang nilagang itlog. Kinuha ko naman to pero nahirapan akong buksan at kunin ang balat.
"Wait, let me." She insisted.
"Huwag na po ma'am. Kaya ko naman p-
Bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko ay kinuha na niya ang nilagang itlog sa kamay ko at siya na mismo ang nagbalat nito pagkakuway nilagay niya sa plato ko.
"T-thanks ma'am.." Nahihiya kong sabi. Ngumiti lang ito sakin saka tumayo ulit at sumilip ako kung ano ang gagawin niya nang makita kong nagtitimpla siya ng gatas. Pagkatapos ay humarap siya ulit sakin at nilagay ang gatas sa tabi ng salad.
"I personally prepared this for you again. Meat and oily food is not good for you." She said, sliding the salad towards me.
Grabe, hiyang hiya na ako.
"Ma'am really you don't have to do this. I can naman po it's just nakakahiya na kasi." Nahihiya kong gawad sa kanya.
"Frey, I'm doing this because I want to. Your parents told me to watch over you and I won't disappoint them." She calmly said. Her gazes is pure and gentle, her eyes is conveying something. "It's not a problem. Kahit alagaan pa kita habang-buhay gagawin ko."
Napatingin ako sa kanya nang sabihin niya yon. She's just so pure, caring, and gentle. "Ganun po ba? Siguro ma'am ang swerte ng magiging asawa mo." Biro kong sabi dito habang kumakain ng itlog.
"You're lucky then," sagot niya sakin habang nakatitig sa mukha ko at nakangiti.
"Ayiieee, si ma'am bumabanat, enebee!" pabiro kong sagot sa kanya.
Tumawa naman ito saglit pero nagseryoso din agad ang mukha, "I'm not joking.." she said.
Bahagya akong napatigil, talagang seryoso siya sa sinasabi niya. Napatigil ako sa pag-nguya dahil sa sinabi niya pero agad naman itong ngumiti sakin para hindi ako ma out of the world.
"Eat this salad that I prepared for you, only for you." Sabi niya at inabot sakin ang salad.
"Salamat ma'am," nakangiting kinain ko naman ang inabot niya sakin.
"Is it good?" she excitedly asked. Napapikit ako sa sarap ng salad na ginawa niya. Hindi maalat, hindi rin matamis, the mayonnaise is perfectly balance and the vegetables are sliced perfectly. Mangunguya mo talaga nang maayos.
"Opo, masarap hehe."
Hindi mawala-wala ang ngiti niya habang tinitingnan niya akong kumain. "Hindi ka po kakain ma'am?" tanong ko sa kanya habang ngumunguya.
"I'm good. Don't speak when your mouth is full to avoid you from choking."
Choke agad. Napaka-advance naman.
"Hindi ka kakain ma'am? Talaga?" pagpupumilit ko dito.
"I'm full," sagot niya sakin. Pinapanood niya lang akong kumain hanggang sa matapos ako. Siya na rin mismo ang nagligpit ng lahat at hindi niya ako pinapakilos.
Nagpaalam akong maliligo muna at kaya ko namang tumayo. Pumayag naman siya at naiwan siya sa kitchen kasi naghuhugas ng pinagkainan ko. Dahan-dahan akong umakyat para pumunta sa kwarto para maligo sa bathroom.
I adjusted the shower knobs, allowing the water to flow freely as I stood naked, ready for a bath. The soothing cascade of water against my skin brought forth thoughts of her-wondering about her current whereabouts and whether she was aware of my situation.
The desire to express my gratitude for her assistance in bringing me home tugged at me, yet the restrictions imposed by Ma'am Vivien's watchful gaze prevented me from acting upon it.
Emerging from the bath, I moved to my closet and selected fresh clothes. As I walked, I saw the image I had painted of her, my heart ached, and a creeping pain began to surface once again. In the midst of this, my balance faltered, and I cried out in agony.
Without delay, brisk footsteps entered my room, and Ma'am Vivien's reassuring arms enveloped me.
"Frey!? Hey, hey, it's alright. I'm here," she comforted me, her touch gentle yet firm as she lifted me from the ground.
The sudden pang in my chest dissipated, leaving me relieved. Nawala agad.
"I-I'm fine," I mumbled. Hindi niya ako binitawan at iginiya niya ako paupo sa kama ko.
A tear left my eyes and flows down on my cheek. I began to cry.
"Frey," Ma'am Vivien softly said. She's sitting besides me tapping my back and she knows that I'm crying.
"Ma'am.." I cried. She hurriedly embrace me with her arms, allowing me to find solace on her embrace.
"Shhhh, you'll be fine. You'll be fine." She assured. Her voice quiver, and I know she'll cry in a slightest provocation.
"Mamamatay na ba ako ma'am?" I asked her, crying. She's wrapping me with her arms.
"No. No, you will not." She whispered. "There will be someone who will help you, we will help you."
"B-bakit ako may sakit na ngayon ko lang nalaman?" Bakit nila itinago sakin?" I asked, still sobbing.
"Probably," she stopped, umiiyak na din siya. "Probably because your parents wants you to enjoy your life, they don't want you to know about it because they're afraid that you might think about it all the time and that'll cause your conflict more." She stated. Narinig ko ang pag hingos niya at ang mabibigat niyang paghinga habang nakayakap ako sa kanya.
"You know?" I asked.
Naramdaman kong tumango siya sakin kasabay ng pag-galaw ng katawan niya. "I know, I always know."
"Paano?"
"Remember that time when I saw you walking in a dark highway and brought you here. Your parents trusted me and they say I'll watch you." She cried, "That's why I took care of you. They give me the papers from the hospital were you admitted when you were a kid. I know all about it, about you." She confessed. Her sobbing echoes in my room.
Natandaan ko ang papel na nasa loob ng desk niya. Yong nakita ko doon habang naghahanap ako ng salamin.
"Why didn't you told me?" I asked. Nakaramdam ako nang matinding pighati.
"Because I care for you." Tipid pero malumanay niyang sagot.
I held her tightly as tears streamed down both our faces. In that moment, it became clear that Ma'am Vivien's intentions were pure and selfless. She had gone to great lengths to care for me, ensuring she didn't disappoint my parents. The depth of her kindness, her actions, and her unwavering effort were truly remarkable. She was, in every sense, pure.
"Ma'am, why are you doing this to me?" I asked.
"I-I don't know..." she softly mumbled.
"Nahihirapan ako ma'am, kinakabahan ako sa kung ano man ang mangyayari sakin."
"You'll be fine, sweetie. You will, I promise."
"Nahihirapan ako." I burst it tears again.
She held me tighter, "If I could shoulder the heavy burden on your back and carry it myself, I would. I would do so gladly," she murmured, her voice soft yet laden with emotion. "Watching you suffer is unbearable for me. All I want is to see you smile again, even if I'm not the source of your happiness. Your smile is enough for me."
Her words struck a chord deep within me, resonating with her genuine concern and selflessness.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kayo pasasalamatan," I said, softly. Napagod ako sa kakaiyak.
"You don't have to pay me back. All I want is to see you in good health again. That's enough for me." She assured. Then again, I found solace in her words and embrace.
I may know her pure intentions at me yet I can't still comprehend what's the purpose. I know everything has a meaning and reason. My heart problem, my parents, her, and this woman besides me.
Amidst the swirling uncertainty within my thoughts, her embrace became a refuge, a place of solace. I discovered a sense of tranquility in her presence. However, as much as I appreciated her feelings for me, I couldn't fully accept them. My heart was already committed to someone else, and that truth couldn't be changed.
It was akin to the vastness of the ocean. On one side, tumultuous waves crashed relentlessly, while on the other, a calm expanse stretched out. Yet, despite the options before me, I found myself swimming against the waves, embracing the challenges that lay ahead.
Although my heart had made its choice, my body seemed to find comfort in her presence.