Well, a week went by without saying a word to Cillian. You didn't talk in his class anymore. You didn't even say "Here" when he'd call your name for attendance. You'd just let him mark you off himself.
He couldn't bare to look you in the eyes. He couldn't even ask you if you were okay, couldn't even look at your paper when he'd walk around the classroom.
Sleepless night after sleepless night, you felt as if you were going insane. You didn't know where he was sleeping. What if he was with his wife? Happy with his kids?
You didn't want to know.
And him, he didn't want to know if you'd seen anyone else, for some sort of comfort. He didn't like that his only thought was you, all the time, every second of the day.
His heart ached without you reminding it that it was loved.
-
On a Tuesday morning, Scarlet walked into the bathroom to see you on your knees, bent over the toilet gagging. "Oh my.." Scarlet sighed, bending down to you to hold your hair up. "Was it something you ate?"
"I don't know," you said, clearing your throat. Scarlet filled up a small cup of water and handed it to you.
"Drink this, slowly." She brushed your hair back and frowned seeing you so sick. "You should go to the doctor."
"I'm okay, it's probably just a stomach bug. I'll just rest up," you assured, standing up slowly. Scarlet held your hands and looked at you.
She quickly bent down and grabbed a small box from under the sink cabinet. "Here, you should take one of these." Scarlet pulled out a pregnancy test from the box.
Your heart sank into your stomach, and you could practically feel your face turn white like a ghost.
"You think I'm—"
"Y/N, take it," she whispered, holding your hand. You slowly nodded and squeezed her hand, opening up the pregnancy test packet. Scarlet walked out.
You pointed the tip at where you were peeing, and then flipped it so you wouldn't see the result. You dried off the test with a paper towel and waited for a moment.
You slowly turned the test.
And in black, it read,
Pregnant.
You covered your mouth and screamed at the top of your lungs, causing Scarlet to come rushing in. "What? What is it? You're pregnant, aren't you?" Scarlet shook your shoulders.
She watched as you broke down, beginning to bawl your eyes out. "Oh, Y/N," she sighed, hugging you close to her chest as she sank to the floor with you in her arms.
You cried for hours after that. Scarlet brought you everything, talked you through every minute as you grieved.
"You have to call him," Scarlet whispered.
You shook your head. "I can't. I think if I hear his voice, I'll throw up or.. pass out."
"You miss that voice," Scarlet reminded her.
"I can't sleep at night knowing he just wanted my body all along—"
"Y/N, it was the heat of the moment," Scarlet explained, trying to comfort you. "Tomorrow, you should stay after his class and talk to him. You don't have to tell him right away."
You slowly nodded. "I'll try not to throw up on him," you whispered, to which Scarlet couldn't help but giggle.
"There's my funny girl," she said, squeezing you tight. The two of you smiled, holding onto each other tightly.
-
The bell rang, blaring your eardrums.
"Right everyone," Cillian said loud enough for the class to hear. "Remember, pages 82 through 98 tonight. Be prepared for discussion."
You erased the sentence you were writing on the assignment as everyone started to leave. By the time everyone was gone, you tried rewriting the sentence again.
In reality, you were pretending you hadn't a clue what you were doing.
A minute or two passed of awkward silence, before Cillian broke it. "You'd better leave," he said quietly.
Just as you were about to say something, you felt your stomach growl. You covered your mouth and shook your head, trying your hardest to keep your stomach fluids down.
But the feeling just got worse. You ran to the trash can near his desk and bent down, emptying your guts right in front of him.
"God," Cillian whispered. He went to bend down to help you, but before he could even make it, you pulled from your pocket the pregnancy test and put it on his desk.
Cillian stared in shock mixed with confusion. "You..?"
"I'm pregnant," you said firmly, looking up at him. Tears filled your eyes. "I told you that you should've worn a condom but you fucking bastard, you know birth control doesn't always work," you cried, shoving your head into his chest to sob.
He held your head and rubbed it gently. "Fuck," he whispered.
"Just get it out of me," you pushed him, beginning to punch yourself in the stomach. "Get it out!" You screamed.
"Y/N, stop it! Fuck, bloody stop!" Cillian grabbed your arms tightly and put them behind your back. "Just calm down a minute—"
"You stupid prick," you sobbed, grabbing his collar, letting his entire suit get wet from your tears. "It's your baby."
"I know it's my baby," Cillian mumbled. He cupped your face and looked into your eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"This time, there's no leaving. You leave me, I tell them you had an affair with a student—"
"I'm not leaving," Cillian reassured, watching as you broke down even more. "I'm right here."
Those words, you hadn't heard them ever. No one was ever there for you. It felt warm, despite the tears running down your puffy face.
"Come home, Cillian," you whispered to him. "Come home to the mother of your unborn child."
-
"Alright, Y/N I'll go get your ice cream, you want anything Cillian?" Scarlet asked, watching as you two were snuggled on the couch, Cillian's hand on your tummy.
"I'm all set, thanks, Scar." Cillian kissed your head gently and rubbed your arm. "We have a lot to talk about.
"Like how you told me I'm only good for my body?"
"Honey, I was pissed and tried to find something to anger you." Cillian smiled at you.
"I hate your wife," you whispered.
"Why?" He asked. "She's not a bad person."
"She loves you," you answered. "And only I should love you."
"Not many women were very interested in me, besides her and you," Cillian explained. "I was often pitied in high school." He chuckled.
"If you were my classmate, I would've sucked your dick under the bleachers during study hall."
"Fucking gross!" Cillian laughed, nudging you gently. "Besides, I wasn't handsome at all."
"Let me see," you demanded.
"But I don't have any—"
"Come on, yes you do," you whined. "Find one."
Cillian rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, scrolled for a little, before chuckling. "Here," he said, tilting his phone to you.
"God," you gasped. "You were gorgeous."
"Am I not anymore?" Cillian questioned playfully, raising a brow to you.
"No, you're an old, dirty man!" You teased. The two of you laughed for a bit, before Cillian put his forehead against yours.
"I will always come back to you, my girl," he whispered.
"Likewise," you said softly before gently kissing his plump lips.
A peaceful silence filled the room, until Cillian had to crack a joke;
"So, baby names."
"Fuck off."