'It was rare, I was there. I remember it all too well.' - Taylor Swift
After two long years behind bars, the day had finally arrived. Walking out of the prison, you inhaled the crisp autumn air, savoring the moment. The long treacherous days of being confined in a far too small cell were now over. You had ended up serving only two of the ten years in prison, only being released early because of an underwhelming lack of evidence and multiple monetary payments from your fiancé. You never told the agents or your lawyers anything. Partly because you didn't want to risk having the suspicion back on the women who had helped you and partly because you didn't know the answers to any of the questions being asked.
The routine of incarceration had become a twisted sort of comfort for you. The daily schedule, the controlled environment, and the familiar faces of fellow inmates had formed a routine that you had grown accustomed to. The long days and nights blended into one big blur, full of complicated feelings and emotions, leaving you in shambles -- a shell of the person you used to be. You would drift away into memories of the past, reliving the once-happy days, waiting until visitor Thursdays.
But now, you were stepping back into the world that you had been disconnected from for far too long. From the visits you had with the women, things had been rapidly changing. Fashion, technology, trends. You were on the outs. But one thing remained consistent for all parties involved -- guilt.
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You had been woken up by the stirring of your partner next to you. Keeping your eyes closed, you felt as she gently traced her fingertips along your features. Both of your bare legs were intertwined and the soft fabric of her shirt was rubbing against your arm. "I can see you smiling, babe," Lou whispers into your neck, the warmth of her breath spreading across your whole body.
Slowly peaking open your eyes, you took in the sight in front of you. The bright rays of sunlight shone from behind Lou, illuminating the golden strands of her messy blonde hair. Her pink lips were curved into a smirk, you could see her favorite faded gray Blondie t-shirt peeking from above the pale blue comforter. "Good morning," you raspily say holding the same smile.
"Every morning is a good morning when I'm waking up next to you," she grins. Her ringed fingers were now gently stroking your cheek as you smiled wider.
You raised an inquiring eyebrow. "My goodness, even in the early hours of the morning, you're still flirting with me," you hum. "My fiancé, the tease."
"Eh, what else am I good for?" Lou rubs her bare leg up and down yours, gently planting a kiss on your forehead.
"A lot of things, you're quite the versatile woman." Lou slowly begins to trail her kisses down to your cheek, then to your neck. You wrap your arms around the blonde's neck, pulling her closer to you. "Baby, we have work," you whisper.
Lou pulls back from you slightly, her piercing blue eyes interlocking with yours. "I'm sure the boss wouldn't mind," she smirks, with her lips attaching to your neck, gingerly kissing your sensitive area.
You let out a breathy gasp. "B-but.." Lou brings her manicured finger to your lips, gently hushing you.
"All ask her right now." Lou separates from you, pausing for a moment, mocking a phone call. This a fake click of a button, and Lou resumes her game. "Oh yeah, she thinks that you need to be on serious bed rest." Lou bends down over you, her lips meeting with yours, in a passionate kiss.
Without much warning, Lou wraps her arms around you and flips you over to your back, straddling your waist. "Lou!" you yelp with a laugh.
"Boss's orders, darling. You heard." She begins to run her hands down your body, sending shivers down your spine and warmth to your stomach. Grabbing onto your t-shirt, she starts lifting it above your head, tossing it to the side.
"I don't know if I love having you as my boss, or if I hate it," you playfully tease.
Lou smiles down at you, leaning down to your face, her blonde hair gently caressing your skin. "You know you love it."
You grab onto Lou's shirt, pulling her even closer to you. Your lips grazed against her as you spoke. "I love you."
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You spot the blonde from behind the gates, resting against her motorcycle, taking a long drag from her cigarette. Smoke emitted from her crimson lips, disappearing into the gloomy sky. Warm tears pricked in your eyes at the sight of her, even though you had just seen her last Thursday. "Lou," you breathe out with a quivering smile as you approach her.
Lou snaps her head toward you, quickly stomping the cigarette against the pavement. As the embers of the cigarette faded away, Lou wrapped her arms around your small frame, spinning you in the air. The plastic bag containing your belongings had fallen to the ground. Your hands were now wrapped around Lou's neck, holding her close to you as you deeply kissed her. "Darling," she whispers against your lips. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you more," you whimper, pressing your nose against hers. Fresh warm tears roll down your cold cheeks. Words couldn't describe the immense happiness bursting in your chest. You were finally out, free to spend the rest of your life with the woman you loved most.
After a few minutes of reuniting, with sweet nothings and kisses, Lou leads you toward her motorcycle. Swinging her leg over the sleek black motorcycle, the engine rumbled to life beneath her, as she flashed you a warm smile. As she adjusted her helmet, she tossed you an identical matching one.
"Ready to go home, baby?" Lou calls over the purr of the engine.
You nodded your head with a smile tugging on your lips, the helmet slightly muffling your already fragile voice. "I couldn't be more ready. Let's go home." You climbed on the back of the motorcycle, wrapping your arms around Lou, nuzzling into her shoulder.
With a gentle twist of the throttle, Lou glided out of the prison's parking lot and onto the winding road that stretched ahead. The world around you seemed to blur as they gained speed, the rush of adrenaline mingling with the beauty of the scenery.
'Wind in my hair, I remember it all too well.'
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Lou had explained how living situations changed with her and the other women. She now was renting out an apartment above the bar she owned. You were excited to hear this. It made the whole 'getting married thing' more ideal. You spun the engagement ring around on your finger with a smile as she drove you to the apartment.
Driving into the city, everything looked as you remembered it, but somehow better. The grass seemed greener, the sky seemed bluer, and the air seemed fresher. But nothing compared to having your fiancé in your arms again. You nuzzled your face into her back as your arms were lovingly wrapped around her waist. You missed this.. you missed her.
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Lou jiggled her keys in the silver lock of the wooden door. With a push, Lou stumbled into the door, having it open with a long creak. The layout of the apartment was very open. As soon as you walked into the apartment, you were in the living room/dining room. The apartment had dark hardwood floors and faded brick walls. The walls had numerous posters and paintings of Lou's icons -- which were mostly rock n' roll icons. A plush dark grey couch sat in front of a black coffee table and an adjacent television. Turning to your right, through an archway, there was a kitchen with a large window above the sink.
"So, how do you like it?" Lou's voice chimed in your ears.
You spun on your feet, facing her loving gaze. "It's so you," you smile.
Lou slowly wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her. "Oh?" she gently bit her lip as she slightly rocked you back and forth.
"How could I not love something that's not you, hm?" you whisper into her neck.
Lou suddenly picks you up, inciting a yelp from you. She pushes you up against the wall, peppering soft kisses down along your lips and jawline. You let out a gasp, as your hand messily tangles in her blonde hair. "L-lou," you breathe out. "Honey, I'm probably filthy," you throw your head back as she kisses your sweet spot. "I haven't taken a proper shower in ages.." you shakily whisper.
"Well, let's fix that, darling." Lou purrs. Her grip tightens on you as she carries you down a hall, opening a door at the end of the hallway. You rest your head on her shoulder as Lou brings you into a dimly lit bathroom. Lou places you on the counter next to the sink, standing in between your legs. Her ringed fingers begin to pull off your shirt while littering sloppy kisses down your body. "Oh baby," she murmurs against your skin. "I've missed you so." Her hands fumble down to your bra, unclasping it. The kisses trail down to your chest as you wrap your legs around Lou, pulling her closer to your body.
"Mm.. Lou!" you gasp, your head now against the cold mirror behind you.
Lou's kisses trail down your stomach and her hands pry on your jeans, gently pulling them down your legs. You scoot on the counter, slightly helping her in her efforts. Lou pulls your jeans off your legs along with your shoes. She leans back in, her lips crashing against yours in a heated kiss. Your hands fumble with the fabric of her shirt as you pull it off her. Lou steps back and pulls it off in one swoop. She tosses it to the side before leaning back into you, her lips hungrily seeking yours. Your hands wrap around her, unclasping her bra, as your tongues fight for dominance. "I see you didn't lose any of your skills," her warm breath lingers on your skin.
"I thought about this for so long," you reply, staring into her piercing blue eyes. "I've needed this for so long."
Lou smirks against your lips for a moment. "Say no more, baby."
---
You walk out of the bathroom, drying your hair with a blue towel. You smiled at the sight of the blonde on the bed, wrapped only in a towel. "That was incredible."
Lou laughs. It was the most beautiful thing you've heard in a while. "Me or the shower?" she teases.
"Both," you smugly reply.
Lou raises an eyebrow at you, her tongue running over her teeth. "Is that so?"
"Mhm," you toss the towel in your hair aside before climbing onto the bed, resting your head on Lou's shoulder. "But you definitely take the cake."
Lou pulls you closer to her body. "Oh baby, I've missed you so much. My sweet girl," she muses, her finger delicately running down your cheek.
Tears began to well up in your eyes as you looked up at your fiancé. You spent so many days and nights, trying to remember her soft touches and her loving nature. You longed for her to hold you and kiss you, to tell you that everything was going to be alright. Now, she's lying right next to you, and nothing felt more right. Lou seemed to sense your sadness as her eyes met yours. She gave you a warm smile, her fingers twirling through some of your damp hair. "I'm so happy," you mindlessly state.
"Me too," Lou gingerly plants a kiss on the crown of your head. "Tell you what, let's go out to dinner. That one nice place down on 6th Avenue?"
You perk up. "I love that place."
"I know."
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You both had chosen a cozy restaurant for dinner, a place where you both had shared many memorable moments before your imprisonment. The ambiance was warm, the lighting soft, and the atmosphere was filled with the hum of conversation. You sat across from each other, gazing over the menus, which had changed so much since you last saw them.
The conversation started with a cascade of catch-up stories, laughter, and shared memories. You jumped around your experiences in prison as Lou filled you in on the other women's lives and how the bar was doing. Lou's smile was as captivating as you remembered, and for a while, it felt like you were picking up where you had left off.
As the orders for the entrees were placed, you both sipped on your drinks. Lou ordered a fancy bottle of red wine with a French name you couldn't quite pronounce. As you drank the rich crimson liquid, your mind wandered. Something was off and you couldn't tell what it was, but you could feel a sense of uneasiness in the air. Lou's previously cheerful and loving demeanor seemed somewhat strained as she drank from her wine glass.
You decide to break the unusual silence. "These two years away from you have been incredibly tough, but thinking about you is what kept me going. I can't wait to start our life together again." You twirled the engagement ring around your finger with an adoring smile.
Lou looked down at the tablecloth, her fingers tracing the rim of her wine glass. She took a deep breath before finally speaking, "(Y/n), darling, I need to tell you something." She took a sharp breath, hardly meeting your lingering eyes. "I wasn't going to tell you, but I think you deserve to know."
Your heart sank as you watched her, fearing what was coming next. You had never seen her act this way and it worried you. "What is it?"
Lou looks up, her eyes finally meeting yours, speaking softly. "While you were away, I met someone else."
The words hung in the air, heavy with an unspoken finality. Your mind raced, trying to comprehend what you had just heard. It felt as though the world had just crumbled beneath your feet. This couldn't be possible -- Lou wouldn't do this to you. She loved you. She loved you. Right?
"I'm so sorry," Lou continued. "I never planned for this to happen. I didn't expect to do this, and I got caught up but then I realized how badly I messed up. You are the person for me, only you. And I never had any intention to hurt you--"
The wineglass you were holding hit the table, glass shattering on the white tablecloth, the red wine seeping into the threading. Emotions bubbled in your chest, tugging at your heartstrings, and creating a lump in the back of your throat. The conversation in the restaurant quieted for a moment with heads turning towards your table. "Who is it?" your voice was small.
"You've never met her before," Lou quickly tried to reassure you. The conversation picks up again, moving past the loud shatter from your table, enjoying their nice and expensive meals.
Tears welled up in your eyes, pooling up quickly, threatening to spill at any moment. "So this," you spit with a quivering lip, pulling the diamond ring off your finger, and slamming it down on the tablecloth, the red stain from the wine growing underneath it. "This... this commitment means nothing to you?"
"(Y/n)--" Lou tries to explain but you don't let her get more than two words out.
"I gave up two years of my life for you, I went to jail, Lou! I went to jail for you." Your voice cracks and breaks. You put the back of your hand to your red-painted lips, turning your head away from the blonde across from you, trying to ignore the mascara-filled tears dripping from your eyes.
"I never asked you to do that for me, you did that to yourself," Lou defended.
You snap your head back toward her. "You didn't have to ask me to do it for you. I would've done it anyway, I would've done anything for you." You wipe your wet cheeks with the back of your hand. "I would've given you the stars and the moon if you asked me to." You quietly commented using a white cloth napkin to wipe underneath your eyes.
"I'm so sorry, (y/n)," Lou said in a small whisper. Her ringed hand reaches out to yours but you pull away. You throw the mascara and eyeliner-stained napkin on the table, storming to the doors of the restaurant. Lou quickly got up from her seat, grabbed the ring from the table, and swiftly following you out. "(Y/n), what are you doing?"
"I'm fucking leaving, that's what I'm doing." you spit back at her, venom lacing your words. You hurriedly slipped your black coat on your body to give you some sort of comfort.
"Can we please try to talk this out, honey?" Her voice was desperate, a broken plea. "Please." Tears filled her eyes as she grabbed your arm, turning you around to face her with the cold and bitter evening air blowing against both of your bodies.
"I don't know what more there is to discuss," you shout, throwing your hands in the air, and throwing Lou's grasp on you off. "Do you want to share more intimate details of your affair? Because I'm not really interested in that. I-I'm not interested in whatever excuse you have to defend yourself."
Lou grabs your hand, placing the forgotten diamond ring in the palm of your hand. "P-Please, it was.. it was stupid. You're right, but .. but you were gone and I needed someone." Her bottom lip quivered as you stared daggers at her. "I-I love you, (y/n). I love you so much." Her watery blue eyes shine from a nearby streetlamp. "I can't lose you again."
"I was there for you Lou, as much as I was able to be." You look down at the ring in your palm. "I was ready to give you my heart, Lou." Your eyes drifted back up to hers, a tear rolling down your cheek. "You promised me that you would love me forever. Me. You told me that we were going to have the biggest, nicest, most wonderful wedding. How could you do this to me?"
"You deserve better," Lou solemnly states.
"You were supposed to be my better!" You shout. "You picked me up .. from nothing, you made me feel like I was worth loving, you --" your voice fades away as you clutch the ring in your hand, shoving it back into Lou's. "I gave you everything I had, but I guess it wasn't enough." Lou's hand fumbled around the ring, tilting her head back up to only see you walking away. You shook like a leaf, sobs wracking your body.
"(Y/n), please come back!" she calls after you.
You ignored the desperate cries of the woman behind you. As you tried to suppress the heart-aching feeling of leaving the woman you loved standing outside your favorite restaurant, knowing that no matter what she did, you'd still love her. You hug your coat tighter against you as harsh sobs wrack your small frame.
"Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there. It was rare, you remember it."