I WALK OUT of the shower drying my hair, when I see Chandler in the kitchen, "Daaargh!" I grab a blanket to cover myself.
Chandler jumps, "Aaarrgh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"That's it! You just barge in here! You don't knock, you have no..." I yell.
"I'm sorry!" Chandler apologizes.
"...respect for anybody's privacy..." I continue yelling at him.
"Ella. Wait, wait." Chandler tried to talk through this.
"No, you wait. This is ridiculous!" I say as i try to cover more of myself.
"Can I just say one thing?" Chandler asks.
"What?! What ?!" I shout.
"That's a relatively open weave, and I can still see...
your nippular areas..." chandler awkwardly says.
"Aaarrggh!" I run to my room.
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ME, MONICA, RACHEL, Phoebe, and her new boyfriend Rog are all sitting at the counter at Central Perk.
"Oh, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things... You know? So, like, when the phone rings, and she takes a shower..." Phoebe turns to Rog.
"That's pretty much it..." Rog smiles.
"Ooops." Phoebe said.
"But you tell it really well sweetie..." Roger smiled.
Phoebe giggles, "Ah. OK, now go away so we can talk about you."
"OK, I'll miss you" Roger leaves.
"Isn't he great?" Phoebe asks.
"He's so cute. And he seems to like you so much..." Rachel teases.
"I know. I know. He's so sweet, and so complicated, you know? And for a shrink, who's not too shrinky?" Phoebe smiles.
"So, you think you'll do it on his couch?" Monica asks causing me to laugh slightly.
"Oh, I don't know... I don't know. I think that's a little
weird... You know, it's vinyl." Phoebe explained.
"Yeah, because vinyl couches are weird." I reply sarcastically.
"See, you get it!" Phoebe jumps as we all go towards the couch.
"Okay, I'm gonna go get more coffee. Any of you guys want anything else?" I ask.
"Oh yes. Could I have one of those..." chandler turns to me.
"No, I'm sorry, they're all out of those. Anybody else?" I ask again ignoring Chandler.
"Did I, did I miss something?" Rog asked.
"Nah. She's still upset because I saw her boobies." Chandler explains.
"Whoa, what, what d... What were you doing seeing her boobies?" Ross asks in confusion.
"It was an accident. It's not like I was across the street
with a telescope and a box of donuts!" Chandler defends himself.
Rog laugh causing me to get annoyed, "OK. OK. Can we change the subject, please?"
"Yeah, cos, hello, these are not her boobies. These are her breasts!" Phoebe defends.
"OK, Phoebes, I was hoping for more of a change." I say as I sit down on the armchair.
"You know, you know, I don't know why you are so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies..." Chandler compliments.
"Nice? They were... nice? I mean, tha... that's it? I mean, mittens are nice!" I started to feel a little insecure.
"OK. Rock... Hard place... Me!" Chandler does a hand motion as Roger starts to laugh again.
"You're, you're, you're so funny. He's really funny. I wouldn't wanna be there when, when the laughter stops." Roger smiles.
"Whoa. Whoa. Back up there sparky. What did you mean by that?" Chandler gets defensive.
Roger begins explaining, "Huh... Just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. You know, that, you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance."
"Huh." Chandler says as I try to hold back a laugh.
"I mean, hey, I just met you! I don't know you from Adam! Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty?" Roger asked.
"Uh-huh. How did you know that?" Chandler became skeptical.
"It's textbook." Roger says while chewing a cookie.
Joey enters the coffee house with his dad, "Hey you guys! You all know my dad?"
"Hey, how long you in the city?" Monica asked after we all greeted him.
"Just for a couple of days. I got a job mid-town. I figure, I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on a ferry." Mr. T looks at Roger, "I don't know this one."
"Oh. This is my friend Roger." Phoebe smiles.
"Hi." Roger turns to him.
"Hey. Hey, good to see you Roger..." Mr.T greets.
"You too, sir." Roger replies.
"What happened to the, er, puppet guy?" Mr T asks Phoebe.
"Dad! Er..." Joey starts gesturing.
"Oh. Oh. Er, excuse me. So, Ross, er, how's the wife?" Mr T asks.
"Uuuuhhh!!" Ross cringes and leans on Chandler's shoulder, Joey gestures again.
"Home for two, eh? Er, Chandler, quick, say something funny!" Mr T tries again.
Chandler gets stone faced, tight lipped.
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"IT'S, LIKE, IF you wake up one day, and found out your dad was leading this, double life. He's, like, actually some spy, working for the CIA... That'd be cool... This blows!" Joey says as he sticks his finger in the peanut butter jar.
"Now, I know. I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people? Why do you have..." I comforted Joey as I walked towards the end of the couch when I noticed Chandler staring at my breasts, "Why... can't you stop staring at me breasts?"
"What?..." chandler said as he kept staring he finally looked up, "What??"
"Did you not get a good enough look the other day?" I scold as I sit on the couch next to Joey.
"Alright. Alright. We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, er, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee." Ross suggested.
"You know, I don't see that happening." Chandler looks over at Ross.
"Come on. He's right. Tit for tat." I add.
"Well, I'm not showing you my tat!" Chandler replies back.
"It's only fair!" I argue.
Before Chandler can argue the intercom buzzes.
"Hello?" Monica says into the intercom.
"It's Phoebe... and Rog." The intercom says.
"Come on up." Monica smiles.
Chandler laughs sarcastically, "Oh good... Rog is here!"
"What's the matter with Rog?" Joey asks.
"Yeah?" Ross joins in.
"Ah, it's nothing. It's just a little thing. I, I hate that
guy!" Chandler sighs.
"What? So he was a little analytical. That's what he does. You know, come on, he's not that bad..." Ross tries to convince.
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I SAT BY the window with Joey watching Rog annoy Ross.
"...You see. That's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her, if I thought on any level that, that she was a Lesbian?" Ross defends.
"I don't know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail." Roger suggested.
Chandler gets up, pats Ross on the back, and wanders towards me and Joey.
"Hello, pervert." I say in a monotone voice.
Chandler sighs, "would you let it go?"
"No. Not until you let me see your tat." I argue.
"That's not happening." Chandler sits next to me,
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DOGER JS NOW talking to me and Rachel, "You're right... I mean, you're right. It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and, and the Weebles' Cruise Ship, oh, which, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in." Rachel cried.
"That's tough, tough stuff. Hey listen Ella, remember what I told you about the need to be perfect to everyone else? Just know that it's okay to feel like disappointment to everyone you know. Come on Phoebes. If we're gonna
catch that movie, we've got to get going."
I felt all the eyes on me as I glared at Roger.
"OK. Feel better Rachel and Ella, OK?" Phoebe says as she and Rog head to the door.
"Phoebes! We're gonna be late, sweetie!" Roger shouts.
"Oh, OK. Listen, thanks for everything Mon." Phoebe thanks.
"No problem." Monica says with a mouthful of food.
"Listen guys, it was great seeing you again..." rog thanks.
"Mon, er, easy on those cookies, OK? Remember, they're just food. They're not love." Roger says as he closes the door.
"Monica and Ross throw the cookies at the door, "I hate that guy!"
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THE NEXT MORNING, Me, monica, and Rachel were all having coffee when there was a knock on the door, Monica goes to answer.
"Hi." Monica answers.
"Hi." The woman says.
"May I help you?" Monica says.
"Er, yeah, er, Joey said I could use your shower, since, er, Chandler's in ours..." the woman explains.
"OK. Who are you?" Monica asks.
"Oh! I'm, er, Ronnie. Ronnie Rapalato. The mistress?" Ronnie shakes her hand.
"Uh-huh. Er, come on in." Monica opens the door.
"Oh, thanks." Ronnie smiles.
"Hi, I'm Ella. The bathroom's up there. Hey, listen Ronnie, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower?" I greet.
"Oh, like, er, five minutes." Ronnie makes he way to the bathroom.
"Oh, great. Fasten your seatbelts. It's pee-pee time!" I smile as I walk to the boy's apartment, Mr. Tribbiani is in the kitchen, "Hey Mr.Trib."
"Hey. Good morning, dear." Mr. Tribbiani smiles.
"Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing..." I say as I open the bathroom door, I pull back the shower curtain to see Joey.
I scream and run out of the bathroom, "What's the matter with you?" Joey runs out of the bathroom with a towel on.
"I thought it was Chandler!" I defend.
"Chandler runs out of his bedroom, "Wha-what?"
"You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!" I yell at him.
"Sorry. My, my thing was in there with me!" Chandler laughed as I sighed of embarrassment.
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IN CENTRAL PERK, Phoebe walks in, "Hey Phoebe"
"How's it going?" Monica smiles.
"Good. Oh! Oh! Roger's having a dinner thing, and he wanted me to invite you guys." Phoebe says as she takes off her coat.
"Huh-uh." Chandler laughs awkwardly.
"So what's going on?" Phoebe asks.
"Nothing. It's er... It's just, er... It's Roger." Monica tries to explain.
"I, er, I dunno, there's something about..." ross stutters.
"Basically we just feel that he's, er..." chandler tries to explain.
"We hate that guy!" I shout.
"We're sorry Phoebes, we're sorry." Ross pats her knee.
"Ah. Huh. OK. OK, don't you think maybe though that's just that he's so perceptive that it freaked you out?" Phoebe suggested.
"No. We hate him!" We all say.
"We're sorry." Monica apologized.
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IN THE APARTMENT, we're all eating pizza except Phoebe who is out with Roger.
"So, you talk to your dad, huh?" Monica asked.
"Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my Ma, like she wanted. My Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know, even though she does, and my little sister Tina, can't see her husband any more, cos he got a restraining order." Joey all sees the puzzled look on our faces, "which has nothing to do with anything, except that I found out today."
"Wow." Rachel takes a bite into her pizza.
"Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain." Chandler jokes.
"So, Joey, you OK?" I ask.
"Yeah, I guess, it's just, you know, they're parents, after a certain point you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you gotta let them make their own mistakes." Joey states.
"Just think. In a couple of years we get to turn into them." Rachel smiles.
"If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic
blonde, chasing after twenty-year old boys, or I'll end
up like my Mom!" Chandler says as Phoebe enters.
"How's it going?" I ask as she sits next to Chandler.
"Oh, OK. Except I broke up with Roger." Phoebe explains.
"Ohhhh!" We all sympathize.
"Yeah, right!" Phoebe scolds.
"No, no. Ahhhhh!!!" We all say.
"What happened?" Rachel asked.
"I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet. And in some ways, I think he is so right for
me. It's just, I hate that guy!" Phoebe shouts.
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I ENTER THE boy's apartment and see Mr. Tribbiani and Joey sitting in the kitchen,
"Hey, Ella. What's going on?" Joey asks
"Clear the tracks for the tat payback express. Next stop, Chandler Bing." I smiled at Joey before I open the bathroom door.
I pull back the curtain and see Chandler there, "see was that so hard to show me?"
"Get out!" Chandler tries to cover himself
I laugh as I leave him to finish in the shower.
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LATER, AS IM getting ready for bed when Chandler walks in my bedroom.
"Hey, I think it's safe to say we've seen more than enough of each other over the past couple of days." Chandler awkwardly stands by the door.
"Yeah, I guess we have." I laugh slightly at his awkwardness.
"So....." he drags on.
"So?" I copy.
"What did you think about...y'know? Any questions, comments, concerns?" He motions.
"It was okay, I guess." I reply.
"It was okay? That's it?" Chandler gets a little defensive.
"Yes okay. Not as comforting as Nice, right?" I said.
"Touché. Let's never speak of this again, deal?" Chandler claps his hands together.
I laugh, "deal."
"So you wanna watch a movie or something?" Chandler changes the subject.
"Yeah, but I'm picking and we're watching "When Harry Met Sally" I say as I walk to the living room.
Chandler groans, "Do we have to watch that? It's honestly sad watching you mourn over the fact that you don't have a boyfriend."
"Excuse me? I do not mourn anything. It's actually more entertaining to watch you drool over Meg Ryan." I tease.
"Can you blame me? She's a very attractive woman. And last time I checked you're the one who's always drooling over Micheal J. Fox when we watch Back to the Future." Chandler defended.
"That's different!" I argue.
"Chandler laughs, "how exactly is it different?"
"It just is. Now shut up and watch the movie." I say as the movie starts.