WE ALL SAT around the coffee table in the apartment, eating Chinese Food. Chandler just finished telling us about how someone he worked with thought he was gay.
"Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is
that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?" Chandler laughed in disbelief.
"Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be..." Rachel exclaimed.
Chandler was in shock, "You did?"
"Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not." Rachel explained.
"Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?" Chandler turned to me slightly as he asked the whole group.
Monica and Phoebe agreed with Rachel while Joey and Ross disagreed.
"No no, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did." Ross informed.
Chandler was in shock, "You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?"
"No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so..." Ross bragged.
Joey congratulated Ross but then saw Chandler's face and abruptly stopped. Chandler then turned to me, "did you think I was gay?"
I cleared my throat, "um-"
My eyes looked over Chandler trying to remember what I thought when I first met him, "No?"
Chandler laughed slightly in disbelief, "what do you mean 'no?"
"I mean, why does it matter anymore, I know you're not." I continued playing with my food.
"Just- first answer that comes to your head, did you or did you not?" Chandler pressured me.
"Yes!" I answered under stress.
"Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?" Chandler nodded once he got an answer about me.
"I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny..." Phoebe listed off things about Chandler.
"Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?" Chandler got defensive.
"Yeah! Right!" We all laughed.
"WHAT IS IT?!" Chandler was getting stressed.
"Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality." I added as I put my plate down.
"Yes. Absolutely. A quality." Everyone agreed.
"Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this." Chandler complained as he went to the kitchen.
The phone rings as I follow Chandler to the kitchen, "hey, don't feel bad about this."
Chandler laughs sarcastically, "trust me I won't- I mean it's not like it's making my love life go slower or anything."
I put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "I'm not joking about this Chandler, it's not that big of a deal."
"I'm talking to Rome." Rachel laughed as she handed the phone to Monica interrupting our conversation.
"Oh God. Ross, it's Nana." Monica informed.
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ALL OF US were in Central Perk, missing Monica and Ross, "Ijust have to know, okay. Is it my hair?" Chandler asked still concerned about looking gay.
Rachel stated exasperated, "Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair."
"Yeah, you have homosexual hair." Phoebe informed.
"No, no, no. Chandler- don't listen to them...I actually like your hair. It's not homosexual." I added quickly.
Joey giggled in the corner, "sounds like someone-"
"Shut up, Joey." I rolled my eyes at him as Monica and Ross entered.
"So, um, did she..." Rachel asked
"Twice." Ross sighed.
"Twice?" Joey asked confused.
"Oh, that sucks!" Phoebe leaned back on the couch.
"You guys okay?" I asked.
"I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh..." Ross sat down on the armchair.
"Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone." Phoebe added.
Ross stated, "Nono, she's gone."
"We checked. A lot." Monica added.
"Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know?" Phoebe said as she circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, puts his arms on my shoulder and pulls me away from Phoebe slightly,
"Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her." Phoebe continued.
"Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this?" Rachel handed her a pencil.
Phoebe lit up, "Thanks!"
Rachel laughed, "Sure. I just sharpened her this morning."
"Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food!" Joey exclaimed as he realized his tactlessness, " ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?"
I put my shoulder on Chandler's back reassuringly.
"Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie." Phoebe handed Rachel the pencil back.
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ROSS ENTERED THE apartment as me, Monica, and Rachel were getting prepared for the funeral, "How we doing, you guys ready?"
"Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?" Monica stated sarcastically.
"Some days it's all I can think about." Ross joked.
Phoebe then entered, "Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings."
"Oh, you-you mean your earrings?" Rachel laughed.
"Phoebe looked confused, "What'd I say?"
"Gotta love you, Pheebs." I smiled at her.
Rachel stuck her foot out to show off her shoes to Monica., "Are these the shoes?" Monica asked.
"Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy." Rachel smiled.
"What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?" Ross asked.
Joey and Chandler then entered, "Morning. We ready to go?" Joey asked.
"Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?" Chandler asked.
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WE ALL WALKED through the cemetery after the funeral, "It was a really beautiful service." Monica stated.
"It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart." Mrs. Geller hugs Monica, "Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream."
Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Me and Chandler watching, "What?"
"Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger." Chandler said sarcastically.
"Check it out, Giants-Cowboys." Joey shows us his pocket TV.
"You're watching a football game at a funeral?" I asked in disbelief.
"No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception." Joey stated as if it was obvious.
"You are a frightening, frightening man." Chandler says as he puts his arm around my shoulders.
"Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!" Rachel steps in a patch of mud.
"Oh, I hope they're not ruined." Ross says sarcastically.
"God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!" Phoebe looks around.
"I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff-" Ross falls into an open grave.
"God! Ross!" We all shout as we looked down at him in the grave.
"I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised..." Ross joked.
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AT THE GELLER HOUSE, Ross emerged from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned
"Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?" Phoebe asked.
"I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great." Ross stammered.
I laughed, "Wow, those pills really worked, huh?"
"Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister," ross hugs Monica, "I love Pheebs.." he hugs her.
"Ooh! That's so nice..." Phoebe stated surprised.
"Ella!" Ross stammered over to me.
I turned to him as he used me for balance, "yes, Ross?"
"Thank you for being there for me, you are such a great friend. I love you." Ross hugged me.
I hugged Ross back, "I love you too, Ross."
Ross booped my nose, "y'know I know someone you would be great with." He laughed, "but I can't tell you"
I was confused as Ross went over to Chandler, "Chandler!"
Ross hugs Chandler, "And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me."
The girl Chandler was talking to walked away, Ross went to sit with Rachel.
"Rachel. Rachel Rachel." Ross sits down beside her, "I love you the most."
"Oh, well you know who I love the most?" Rachel humored Ross.
"No." Ross answered.
"You!" Rachel exclaimed.
"Oh.. you don't get it!" Ross slumped across her.
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I DRAGGED CHANDLER out of the crowd of men watching football, "hey, what're you doing? The game was just getting good." Chandler asked.
I sighed as I turned to Chandler, "I thought you said Joey was a frightening man for watching the football game?"
"I did. But that's not the point. Are you okay?" Chandler laughed.
"Yeah- I just wanted to say sorry that the girl you were talking to thought you were gay because of Ross." I added.
"Oh- that's not your fault." Chandler responded.
"I know. It's just it's kinda sad watching you mope around because of it." I stated.
Chandler laughed as the group of me let out a cry of disappointment.
"Now I'm depressed! ...Even more than I was." Mr. Geller exclaimed.
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SITTING AROUND THE sofa at Central Perk, we looked at old photos from Monica and Ross' family.
"Hey, who's this little naked guy?" Rachel laughed.
"That little naked guy would be me." Ross informed.
"Aww, look at the little thing." I pointed to the picture.
"Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?" Ross asked.
I laughed, "no."
"Who are those people?" Chandler asked pointing to another photo.
"Got me." Ross stated.
"Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle." Monica flipped the photo over and read the back, "'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'."
"Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?" Rachel asks.
"Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?" Monica added.
"Looks like a fun gang." Ross says as we all smile at each other.
"Ooh, look look look look look! I got Monica naked!" Joey exclaimed.
"Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying
something." Ross added.