it was ironic to viviana how she always loved the color blue, the shade of the ocean, the way the waves moved so freely and unexpectedly, yet it terrified her.
she went and sat down on the sand as a child, built castles, did everything child like on a beach but she never got into the water.
so here she was, grumbling as she got ready to go to a stupid beach bonfire that she didn't even know was being held as it slipped her mind.
but lilith had other choices when she showed up at her house and demanded they went, because apparently her friends that viviana didn't even want to see were going.
her friends, conrad and jeremiah.
viviana tiptoed downstairs, knowing her mother might be downstairs, which she really was, with a bottle of bourbon in her left hand as she watched a movie
viviana got out and walked to the beach, which wasn't that far away anyway, but if her aunt cordelia found out she walked, she would make sure viviana was lectured about it. that was cordelia and her way of saying she cared and loved someone.
“you made it” lilith beamed as she noticed her cousin walking around alone searching for someone.
“you didn't give me a choice” viviana shrugged as she looked around, catching justin as she did so, he was staring in their direction — no he was staring at lilith
“oh shut up” lilith laughed “ i can't wait to just get wasted”
“why?” viviana raised a brow as lilith frowned in confusion “ since when did you turn down a drink?”
“since when did you drink lilith” viviana rephrased her cousin's words as she stood quietly, and viviana could see her eyes averting to the boy near them making her swallow
“i think you should talk to him” viviana spoke softly making lilith frown “ i don't want to talk to justin”
“i never said justin” viviana laughed quietly “ he likes you and clearly you do too, i don't see a problem here”
“he doesn't . . . we don't — ” lilith tried to play it off “we are friends vivi, i don't like him and neither does he”
“he told me what happened” viviana admitted as lilith looked down as if their shoes were so interesting now
“i promise vivi i didn't act on how i feel” lilith mumbled “i would never do that to you”
“why not?” viviana knew what she had to do “ i totally think you should talk to him, hear what he has to say and just let yourself be free for once”
“ i am not going to tell the boy you have been in love with for so long that i have a silly little crush on him” lilith protested as viviana huffed
“i wasn't in love with him” viviana denied as lilith raised her eyebrows at her “besides i already have my eyes on someone else”
“wait what?” lilithʼs head turned to her cousin so fast that she felt dizzy, while viviana managed to fake a shy smile at her cousin
“i won't tell you who, until you talk to justin” viviana smirked as lilith huffed “fine, then keep it to yourself”
“please betty? do it for me, just try and let someone love you for once” viviana pleaded softly as lilith stared at the fire near them with a cold look
“how do you even know love is real? like what if he just wants something and then he leaves?” lilith spoke in a small broken voice as viviana rubbed her shoulder
“i know it exists, because you do and you are full of love ” viviana gave her a comforting smile as she gestured towards the drinks with her head and winked at lilith
“i will go get a drink while you go get your prince charming” viviana winked as lilith shoved her shoulder with a laugh
“ you are never gonna let that go, are you?” lilith laughed as viviana nodded and walked away, hoping lilith would just listen to her and talk with justin
𓆉
as the girl walked towards the drinks, someone pumbed into her, she turned around only to be met by a pair of blue eyes making her roll her eyes “why do i always have to pumb into you?” viviana grumbled as she continued walking forward towards the drinks
“maybe you should stop following me around then” jeremiah smirked as viviana laughed in mockery at him
“i must have a really really horrible taste if i am obsessed with you then”
“you wounded me viviana” jeremiah his hand on the right side of his chest making viviana scoff “ your heart is supposed to be on the left side”
“so why are you alone?” jeremiah wondered, slanging an arm over her shoulder making her sigh “ so you do care about me? ”
“ get over yourself viviana” he pulled his arm away, his tone changing immediately, it was something he usually did.
he would talk to her as if they were friends and tease her then suddenly she says something and he would suddenly close off and become an asshole.
" you are the one who came here and decided to talk to me " viviana bit back as jeremiah shrugged
"i like annoying you, it's entertaining" jeremiah said with a smile as the girl rolled her eyes "what? I live to annoy you vivia"
"i don't care" the girl said as she was about to turn around but something caught her eye from behind jeremiah
standing there was no one other than natalie her old friend, at least viviana thought they were friends but they weren't, in vivianaʼs book after what the girl did she wasn't concidered a friend at all
standing with her was a brunette boy who seemed to be laughing with her, they were standing not that far away so viviana noticed how he kept side glancing at her and jeremiah
"that little bitch" viviana mumbled under her breath as jeremiah frowned
"i told you before to stop cursing me" jeremiah groaned as viviana huffed
"not you" the girl said through gritted teath as she looked at the boy "you still want that hoodie I have?" viviana said, more like a question
"which one?" jeremiah asked confused as viviana huffed
"taylor swiftʼs hoodie"
"no i am good" the attitude was clear in his voice
"i am serious jeremiah" the girl internally groaned
jeremiah nodded eagerly “totally” #
"if you do me this favor I will give it to you" viviana said quietly making the boy nod
"i am not beating someone up for you if that's what — " jeremiah was talking as he was stopped by a very impatient viviana
"shut up and kiss me"
"what?"
viviana did nothing other than rolling her eyes, while standing on her toes slightly and pulling the boy down as she had her hands behind his neck
she pulled the boy down, kissing him softly, at first he didn't kiss back, almost like he was going to pull away, until his hands rested on her waist, pulling her even closer
they stood there for what felt like seconds but wasn't, kissing until they pulled away to catch their breath, though viviana believed jeremiah pulled away due to the lack of her knowledge about kissing someone.
"what the hell was that?" jeremiah asked the girl who sighed quietly
"i will give you the hoodie" viviana said mindlessly not looking at the boy's face
"you are giving me your hoodie for a kiss?" jeremiah asked the girl, still looking confused making her roll her eyes
"remember ryan ?" the girl asked the boy who nodded quietly
"he was with natalie" viviana grumbled quietly as the boy looked at her amused
"you wanted to make your ex jealous, the one you broke up with almost a year ago?" jeremiah asked the girl while laughing, as she rolled her eyes
"i didn't want him thinking I am still hung up on him you idiot" viviana said annoyed as she walked away towards the drinks with jeremiah following her steos
as the girl got herself a drink she turned around to walk away, just to almost pumb into jeremiah "why are you following me around? " viviana asked annoyed
"did you forget the part where you kissed me?" the boy asked annoyed too "what if she saw us?" the boy continued making the girl cough violently as she was drinking
"you are with belly? shit" viviana said guilt creeping on her face, they kept on walking away from everyone, closer to the beach and away from everyone
"no" jeremiah said then raised his eyebrow "why belly?"
"you have had a crush on her since like forever" viviana blurted they were already far from people to hear them
"don't pout jeremy, you will get the hoodie" viviana teased the boy who scoffed
but as viviana looked behind the boy, she saw belly "is she the one wearing a pink dress?"
"yea why?"
"she's talking to cam" viviana sounded amused
as jeremiah was about to ask who was cam a fight seemed to break out and jeremiah ran away towards his brother
viviana followed behind, walking slowly just to take a look. until she noticed justin standing there too she huffed, taking note of how lilith wasn't even there with him or anywhere near him
just then someone yelled how the cops were here and everyone started running, viviana pulled justin with her “go wait by your car, i will find betty”
nodding, justin walked away as viviana sprinted around the beach in search of her cousin who she found, along with jeremiah cursing steven.
“are you stupid? the cops are out there” viviana hissed as lilith stiffened a laugh “what are you laughing about?” viviana grumbled
“itʼs so funny seeing you so serious and responsible” lilith giggled
“are. . . are you drunk?”
“what? no” lilith laughed “oh i love the stars” lilith smiled up at the sky as viviana frowned while helping her walk.
𓆉
viviana had walked back home, after many protests from lilith and how she wanted to relive their christmas sleepovers
more likely the only time during the year that viviana went to boston and saw her cousin.
walking down the dark cold streets made realization real dawn onto the brunette girl as she couldn't help but think about a certain brunette fisher.
it was stupid telling jeremiah she would give him the hoodie — but in her defense she was getting back at ryan and hoping that maybe lilith would see them so she would go and talk to justin.
AUGUST, THREE YEARS AGO
14 years old viviana knocked on the fisher's door with a smile as she was greeted by susannah who smiled at her
"you don't have to knock vivi"
"sorry" viviana mumbled her smile still clear on her face "is connie home?"
susannah nodded "heʼs in his room"
viviana nodded, trying to stand on her toes to give the woman a kiss on her cheek but she failed due to the height difference so susannah bent down as the girl kissed her cheek and she gave her forehead a kiss
viviana ran upstairs, opening conradʼs door without knocking revealing a grumpy jeremiah and a sleepy conrad "connie"
"hey vivia" conrad mumbled, this time more awake he held a smile on his face seeing his best friend
"you have no idea what I found" viviana said excitedly making conrad sit up as steven coughed
"please tell me you found some manners"
"shut up jeremy" viviana argued as steven awkwardly smiled at her "oh hey steven" viviana smiled
"knock on the door next time"
"why is he here?" viviana asked, her question directed to conrad and steven making them both laugh
"i live here" jeremiah replied sarcastically "the door is there so you could knock on it"
"susannah let me in"
"what about the room?"
"connie doesn't mind" a grin was seen on vivianaʼs face
right before jeremiah could say something else, steven pulled him away "we are waiting downstairs" steven said as he dragged jeremiah out of the room who kept insulting the girl under his breath
the door wasn't even closed when viviana jumped on the bed and pulled out a hoodie from the shopping bag she had "i got us matching hoodies" viviana seemed so excited that just her excitement brought conrad a smile
"i don't listen to Taylor swift, you know that right?"
"uh yes you do" viviana raised her eyebrow just as conrad was about to argue back she talked "i heared you humming to the songs a few days ago"
conrad only sighed as he took it from the girl "smile connie, they were the last two in the shop" viviana said as conrad laughed
"is that why it's too big?" conrad asked making her cheeks grow pink with embarrassment
"yea uh there was no more and i really wanted one for me and I wanted to get you something" viviana mumbled, her smile no longer on her face
"i like it" conrad said softly making the girl hug him
"we are definitely matching when we get older" viviana said with a laugh making conrad laugh too
she had intended to keep their bond strong, only for it to come crashing down later without even an explanation
the girl regretted telling jeremiah she would give him the hoodie.
because wether she liked to admit it or not, she still wished her and conrad would be friends again.
author's note!
just wait till you find out what happened between the two of them
so much angst coming up
not much edited in this chapter though