Talia
I woke up alone in bed. I took a deep breath, not feeling like I wanted to get out of bed. Not feeling like there was a purpose for me to get out of bed. I forced myself up and to the bathroom. I took a shower then wrapped my body in a towel and with another one I was drying my hair. When I got out of the bathroom I saw Ace sitting in bed.
"Hey," I smiled.
"Good morning," he smiled back and tapped the bed next to him. I went to sit by his side as he scanned my body from head to toe. "How was your sleep?" He placed a kiss on my shoulder.
"Good. How was yours?" I giggled.
He nodded, "good."
I was extremely happy that he was able to fall asleep but I didn't want to bring it up just in case he didn't feel secure talking about it.
"I–uh," he took my hand in his, so I dropped the towel in my hands, "I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Sure," I nodded.
"What do you know about your mother?"
I frowned. "Why?"
"Just answer me," he insisted.
"Uhm, I don't know much. I don't even know her name. Dad didn't want to give me much information about her. I guess he was scared I would look for her. I barely know what she looks like. I mean up until the day Dad died, I didn't know what she looked like at all but by accident I found a picture in his car."
He nodded and rubbed my hand.
"I mean, I knew that she did something very bad that's why Dad never wanted to talk about her. Even when I asked about her he would change the subject or tell me not to ask about her, or jokingly say 'am I not enough for you'" I smiled, remembering his voice, "so I avoided asking about her until I saw her picture."
"He told you?"
"He told me she abandoned us because we were broke. She left us when I was a child and no matter how much he begged her to come back she refused. He asked me why would she be a parent to me if she left me? He asked me, "Why do I care to know her when she doesn't care to know me?" I shook my head and looked down at my hand in his, knowing that everything he said was right.
"She does now, apparently." He said and I quickly turned to face him.
"Does what?"
He took a deep breath and tightened his grip on my hand, "your mom keeps going to your house and keeps asking neighbors about you," he paused and my heart started pounding, "she is trying to find you, Talia." I looked into his eyes, silently asking him about what I should do. "It's all up to you," he tilted his head, answering my question. He rubbed the back of my hands with his thumbs, "if you want to see her or if you don't want her to find you at all, it's all up to you. Choose whatever makes you happy and I will make it happen."
I nodded, not sure if what I chose was the right choice. Before I told him what I chose he spoke again, "you don't have to make a decision now. I made the boys get her number," he handed me a paper with a phone number and a name, "call her if you want to meet her. Give her the time and day you want to see her and I will come with you. If you don't want to, simply ignore everything I said and if you don't open the subject again in a few days I will make sure she doesn't pop up in your life ever again."
Silently, I nodded again, looking down at the paper in my hands. Linda Torres. My mother's name was Linda Torres. The woman who chose to not be a mother to me was looking for her daughter after all these years. I wasn't sure if I was angry at her or sad.
A few minutes later, I looked up at Ace but couldn't find him. I didn't feel him get out of the room. He left me with my vicious thoughts that kept circling around my neck like a long snake trying to slowly suffocate me.
Linda Torres. I threw my body back on the mattress and looked at the ceiling. I never thought I would see her again. I never even knew what a mother was. I spent years crying over her absence until I got used to it. I spent years watching my friends in school running to their mothers after school to go home or being helped by their mothers putting on their jackets. I watched kids walk holding both their parents' hands at the same time while I lived my life longing for my father when he was busy and wishing for a mother. I even wished for my father to get married just so I could have a mother figure in my life even if it wasn't my mother.
I grabbed my phone and typed her number in my messages.
"Hello," I typed but instantly erased it. I looked at my ceiling again for a few seconds, trying to calm my anxiety that kept rising up. Then dialed her number.
"Hello?" Her voice rang through the phone and I trembled. I couldn't catch my voice to talk back to her and wasn't sure what to say. "Hello?" She repeated.
"H-Hi," I mumbled as my heart banged through my chest.
"Who is this?" She was firm and cold and I wondered what she would sound like knowing that I was her daughter. I couldn't even believe I was speaking to my mother.
"It's me, mom."
"Ace," I called from the doorframe of his office. My hands were still shaking, and my heart was pounding. He looked up at me, quickly stood up and walked to me. "I called her." He hugged me and I was finally able to relax hearing his heartbeats. "I told her we could meet tomorrow."
He pulled away and took my head in between his hands. Smiling, he said, "It's going to be okay. I am going to be with you."
"But she told me to come alone."
"I will come and stay in the car."
I barely slept that night. How could your eyes find sleep when in hours they will meet the mother you never had? How could they find peace when all you did for years was imagine what she looked like? I was stressed, not only because I was going to meet her but also because I didn't know what tricks my mind was playing on me. I didn't know if I agreed to meet her because I genuinely wanted to meet my mother or if I was waiting for an opportunity to blame her for all my years of pain.
I was up before the sun. Slowly, I made my way downstairs at dawn and made coffee, knowing that I won't be able to sleep anymore.
"Are you okay?" Ace's voice rang in the silent room.
I gasped.
"Yes," I huffed. "I just–couldn't sleep."
He walked over and hugged me from behind. "It's going to be okay. I will be with you."
The hours felt like ages. The day was going way too slow. Even the drive felt so long. When we arrived, my heart was fighting me.
Ace held my cold hand in his. "It's okay. You got this."
I gave him a small smile and tried to pull myself together.
"Call her,"
I nodded and grabbed my phone. My phone rang and rang until the call was sent to voicemail.
"She's probably stuck in traffic, try again,"
I called again, no answer. I looked at him, unable to find something to say. He too stayed silent as if he knew something he didn't want to tell me.
"Let's just wait." He placed his hand on my shoulder. Minutes turned to hours and our patience ran low. We knew she wasn't coming but I refused to believe it and he refused to say it to me.
I got out of the car and walked away from the car, trying to call her again. I didn't want to show Ace my weaknesses. My blood was boiling, I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her that I find't even want to see her. Why did she tell me she was going to come if she didn't want to. My heart was racing as the phone was ringing in my ear. When I was sent to voicemail again, I groaned and threw my head back. I bit my lip trying not to cry.
"Lia,"
I turned to face him and threw my body in his arms. Silently, he hugged me tight and rubbed my back. I grabbed his shirt, and shut my eyes tight. I felt broken. I once had a father, and lost him and it hurt. But why did it hurt me to lose a mother I never had?
He grabbed my face and pulled it out of his chest. He gave me a weak smile and said, "let's go."
I let a tear roll down my cheek and nodded. He led me to the car, opened the door for me and shut it behind me.
When we got home, I ran to the room, ignoring all eyes that were on me. I heard Ace explain what happened when they asked him about me. But when I shut my room door and turned, I faced the picture of my father. Tears ran freely down my cheeks and I put my hand on my mouth to not sob loudly. I was faced with all I have been avoiding to care about before. My father was always both parents for me and at that moment I understood why. She once left us when I was a child and left me again after giving me hope that I might have her back.
I sat on the floor and wondered why I thought I could quickly forgive her after all what she had done to me. I wondered why I believed her when she told me she wanted a second chance. And I wondered why she asked me for a second chance if she was going to stand me up.
A knock on the door made me stand up and stare at the door.
"Talia?" Ace called out. I wiped my tears quickly before opening the door. He looked at me with sad eyes then opened his arms for me. I quickly rushed into his arms that quickly closed onto me. My face buried in his chest as I let my sobs faint in it. "Don't cry, baby." He rubbed my back.
My tears soaked his shirt. As I struggled to breathe, I let out a series of hiccups as his hands were rubbing against my skin. I grabbed onto his shirt, begging him silently to carry away the heavy weight on my heart.
We sat on the floor as I laid in his arms. He was playing with my hair and my eyes were closed. I looked up at Ace and realized that even if my dad died, he left me someone to take care of me. I smiled.
"What?" His soft voice broke the silence in the room.
"Is Ace your real name?" I asked, looking into his eyes as he continued to twirl my hair locks around his finger.
He chuckled and shook his head, "Alejandro. Alejandro Delgado Rosalez."
"How come you never told me?"
He shrugged, "your dad took me when I was a depressed child. He was asking me to do missions no one else was able to do. He kept telling me 'you aced it' with every mission until one day he told me 'I am naming you Ace, a name that represents you' and then he made everyone call me Ace".
I giggled. "Ace."
We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds. He then leaned into me and placed his soft lips onto mine, slowly kissing me. He pulled away for a few seconds, tilting his head as he stared deep into my eyes, "don't ever cry like that again. For anyone." He gave me a small smile, holding my face in his hand then pressed his lips on mine again, savoring the taste of my lips and making me taste his.
When my phone started ringing, I pulled away and quickly got up. I knew it. It was her. I answered.
"What do you want? What excuses do you have for not coming to see me?" I yelled through the phone. "Forget me. Forget you have a daughter. Leave me alone." My heart was beating loudly and all I wanted to do was yell at her until she apologized.
"Talia, calm down. Who said I didn't come?" She shocked me by her response, "I came and saw someone with you so I left. I specifically told you to come alone."
"What's the problem? He is my boyfriend."
My heart dropped at the name I gave him and refused to turn and see his reaction to what I said. I gulped.
"I don't care. I told you to come alone. So let's give it another try. And this time, come alone." She firmly said and hung up.
My heart raced as I put the phone down, shy to turn and face him knowing that he would have a reaction.
I felt him walk closer to me. "What did you call me?" His breath hit the back of my neck. I didn't want to turn because I felt my cheeks were burning.
"Nothing, I–"
"What did you call me, Talia?" He eagerly asked me and I couldn't tell if he liked it or was angry about it.
"I-I am sorry. I just–"
He spun me around and pinned me against the wall. I gasped as he hungrily looked into my eyes. He leaned closer to my ear making his hot breath tickle my neck and whispered, "say it again."
"What?"
"Say. It. Again." He demanded.
"Say what?"
"That I am your boyfriend. Say that I am your man. Say that you're only mine, Lia."
I looked up at him with lustrous eyes and articulated, "I am only yours, Alejandro."