TRIGGER WARNING!
This chapter may contain: pessimism, depression, self-harming, schizophrenia, suicide, death.
*****
I'm on my way to attend my psychology class; nang bigla akong harangan ni Noah sa corridor. He was smiling from ear to ear, like an idiotic dog.
"What the hell, Noah?" inis na turan ko dito.
"Good morning, too, Ms. Miller. I am Noah Sanchez, from the BSIT department, and I'm here to escort you to the dean's office," he said, smiling and even winking at me at the end.
"Ano nanaman ba 'yon? "Buntong hininga kong sambit ngunit nagkibit-balikat lamang ito.
"I don't know; napag-utusan lang naman ako ni Neska. Pinatatawag ka daw ni Dean, A-S-A-P," sabi pa nito na madiing ini-spell pa sa akin ang huling salita.
"Okay, I got it, Noah; no need to escort me. Pumasok kana sa klase mo," giit ko na agad din niyang pinigilan.
"Ah-uh, Neska said, I have to escort you to Dean's office myself." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the staircase.
It seems like Noah didn't have any idea why we were both dragging in here, o baka naman ako lang. But when Dean said, "Nice to see both of you," I actually believed that we were both summoned here intentionally.
"Sorry, the feelings aren't mutual," I sarcastically said. Noah looked at me with wide eyes. Malamang pinagsasabihan ako gamit ang mga mata niya. I rolled my eyes at naupo kahit pa walang sinasabi ni dean na maupo kami.
"Well, then let's discuss the reason why I summoned both of you here," he said, ignoring my attitude.
See?
"Sir, if this is something about the old library, I'm sorry, Dean, but I know we haven't finished the cleaning, so if this is all about that, I'm really-" Noah was cut by Dean's laughter.
"Oh, it's nothing to do with that hijo. Don't worry, wala kayong ginagawang mali this time. In fact, your professors claim that I should reward both of you."
"Reward? What for? "I asked, and he laughed.
"For trying to get Mr. Marcello to join our list of sponsors. He acknowledged that you two are both outstanding students. He even requested me to thank you two on his behalf." Noah and I both know that we didn't even speak with Mr. Marcello, which is why we both appear so perplexed. We met him for the first and last time when we were taken into custody.
"He expressed his sincere apologies for misleading you two, and he was moved by your quick forgiveness. He sent you this gift as gratitude for your compassion, and he naturally sent me a gift as well. Perhaps as a way of saying "thank you" for producing such outstanding pupils." He pulls out two gifts, one of which is a rectangular box with red ribbon on top that is wrapped in black.
"Are you f*cking serious?" hindi ko napigilang sambit. Nagusot ang mukha ni dean at nabura ang kanina pang ngiting nakapinta sa labi niya.
"Watch your words kid. Hindi porke't may ginawa kang mabuti para school ay pagpapasensiyahan ko na ang ugali mo."
"Screw you, Ramirez." Tiim bagang ko sambit na lalong ikinalaki ng mata ni Noah. He even pulled me closer to him and whispered.
"Liv kalma ka lang, please?" Umikot ang dalawang mata ko.
"This is incredibly foolish. I would never, ever approach him about joining Young Ville Academy Investors. Without him, this school can continue. For what he done to us, I will never forgive him. Firstly, neither Noah nor I had nothing to do with Grace's death! This is F*cking nonsense!" walang pagtitimpi kong sambit. Kung hindi dahil kay Noah na mahigpit na hawak ang kanang balikat ko, kanina ko pa siyang nasuntok.
"I apologize, Dean, but we never had a negotiation like the one you described, and we never spoke with Mr. Marcello. Perhaps he was pursuing something else, or perhaps he truly wanted to be this school investor. And I hope you can take action, sir, if any of that makes sense to you. For the benefit of your students and our school. I hope you will take everything seriously, please don't be fooled with money. Two students had died," he said. Noah drew me out of the room quietly.
My annoyance didn't end there, and I need to find something else to deal with my rage. Fortunately, I must add, Noah brought me into the school gym because he knows it very well.
"Go Liv, remove that negative energy," he responded and released my hand.
Without wasting any time, I picked up the bow and arrows and moved in the direction of the shooting board. I positioned myself a few blocks away from the objective and fired. Even though the shooting board was begging to be broken into bits, I didn't stop. I made sure to use shooting as a tool to let go of my anger.
I turn to face Noah after retrieving my composes, and he simply nods.
"Anong gagawin natin? Mr. Marcello just confirmed to us that he was after something. Baka natunugan niyang pinaghihinalaan natin siya, kaya tinatakot niya tayo, or should I say, sinusubokan niya tayong paikutin? "
"Tsk, I'm not afraid of him," I said, sipping my coke in can na binili pa ni Noah sa cafeteria matapos ko pagdiskitahan ang kawawang target shooting board. He even bought us a sandwitch para daw ma-lighten up ang mood ko na hindi ko ma-gets kung papaano naman mangyayari iyon.
"He lied and made stories. Kung hindi masama ang intensiyon niya bakit kailangan pa niyang gumawa ng kwento? Hindi naman rason 'yong pambibintang niya sa atin dahil kahit hindi naman niya liwanagin 'yon sa publiko, siya parin ang paniniwalaan ng lahat. Diba nga kahit napatunayan naman natin na wala tayong kasalanan, tayo parin ang sinisisi," sambit nito na hindi ko maiwasang hindi sangayunan.
Tama si Noah, malakas ang pakiramdam ko na may dahilan ang ginawang ito ni Mr. Marcello. At kung ano man 'yon, dapat kong malaman.
"Hey Noah, nandito kalang pala." Neska approaches as holding a pile of newspapers.
"Uy, Neska," Noah said, saka tumayo ito at sinalubong ang babae.
"Pasensiya na hindi na ako naka attend sa history class natin," saad nito na kinatango naman agad ni Neska.
"It's okay, wala naman si Prof. Anyway, sayo ko na iiwan 'tong mga newspapers para parehas tayong makagawa ng insights d'yan."
"Okay, sige ano ba 'tong napili mong topic? "
"Ah, it's about the Dark Clan massacre 16 years ago." Nagulat ako sa narinig ngunit agad kong ikinobli iyon ng tumingin sa akin si Neska.
"W-what? " Noah seems shocked as well, but Neska looks at him cluelessly. Kinabahan naman ako bigla sa naging reaction ni Noah.
Bakit parang nagulat yata siya?
Everyone knows about that news, but his expressions were telling me that he knows more than that.
"Ahm, are you sure about this? "
"Oo naman, It's a clueless case, which makes it an ideal theme for our project, huh? Olivia Dark is a suspect, but she's the only one who's still alive. She still needs more evidence to prove her guilt. That was when she was only six years old. In fact, it seems to me that there are a lot of undefined variables in these cases, thus this must be it. Isn't this a great topic for our presentation?" Neska explains excitedly.
"Ah- pag-iisipan ko, hindi ko pa naman kasi nababasa," I noticed hesitation in Noah's eyes, which worsens my nervousness.
"All right, but I really hope you like it because I have a lot of ideas regarding this news."Tumango si Noah at tuluyan namang tumalikod at umalis si Neska.
"Ah, sandali Neska!" pigil niya dito.
"Why?"
"Could you please tell me where you obtained these news articles?"
"Oh, my Dad gave it to me," she said.
"I assume Mr. Cavelo is your dad? Why did he have a duplicate of this? This news was, as far as I can recall, outlawed many years ago." Neska smiles na parang may sekreto siyang nalalaman na balak niya ngayong ibunyag kay Noah.
"Because my Dad was the judge of your father's case sixteen years ago," she added and then waved her hands at Noah before turning back.
I was left stunned where I stood, and my heart began beating quickly.
The case of his father sixteen years ago? Is that - oh my god!
Ang namumuong ideya sa utak ko ay nagtulak sa aking ayusin ang mga gamit. Ngunit sa pagmamadali, hindi ko sinasadyang sumabit ang suot kong pearl bracelet. Salamat at hindi naman iyon nasira ngunit naalis ito sa aking kamay. Sinundan ko ang lugar kung saan iyon bumagsak.
Natigilan ako nang mapagtantong nasa tapat mismo ito ni Noah.
Nanatili akong nakatayo, nag-alangan kung pipigilan ko ba siya sa pagsimot nuon. Gayunpaman, huli na ang lahat dahil hawak na niya ito sa kaniyang kamay. Gusto kong saktan ang sarili, dahil ipinagpaliban ko ang posibilidad na siya nga ang anak ni Christopher Sanchez. Masyado ako nagpabulag sa sitwasyon.
"Liv," tawag nito sa aking pangalan. Bakas ang pagtataka, gulat at pagkalito sa kaniyang mukha.
Dinama ko ang kukikirot na dibdib.
Hindi ako handa sa kaniyang sasabihin.
Hinablot ko ang bracelet mula sa kaniyang kamay at dali-dali siyang iniwan duon. Alam kong ang sama ng ginawa ko pero hindi ko pa siya kayang harapin. At lalong hindi ko pa kayang pag-usapan ang pangyaaring iyon. Bago pa man ako tuluyang makalabas ng gym ay nagsalita ito.
"Is that yours?"
"Y-yes," I said, stuttering.
"Since when?"
"Since I was... a child," I bit my lips to prevent the knocking emotions before I decided to ran and leave him there.
What just happened ?
***
Even though it was only 3 p.m., the sky was gloomy. It appears that a heavy rain will soon fall. I stayed under the big narra tree, despite the possibilities.
Here I am at the hill where I buried Isla. The space where I could be open and honest without suppressing my feelings.
"Isla," I muttered.
I bit my lip when it began to shake. I reach out and touch the dandelions dancing over Isla's tomb. The flowers appear content as they play in the breeze. It seems pleased to see me depressed.
"Wala akong kasalanan," I muttered. At last, I started crying, and I did nothing to stop it. I release it till my tears turn into sobs. The rain begins to fall, casting a dismal hue over my feelings that are both resurrection and anguish.
"Wala akong kasalanan," I repeated and allowed the rain to soak me completely.
Suddenly, thunder and lightning raged everywhere. I glanced over at Isla's tombstone. The person who has consistently ensured to comfort me when my trauma flares up.
"Come back to me, Isla," I sobbed.
"Oliv~ia"
That voice is so familiar that it makes my body tremble. It seems to be blowing. The only source of knowledge is its voice, but I had no idea where to look.
"Isla, it's back." I cry out in pain, attempting to get past my growing terror.
No!
"Go home Oli~via"
Even after I manage to get up and move away from my seat, the voice remains the same. I could never get away from it since it was constantly in my ear.
"Olivia!"
This time, I was aware of the single thing that could be useful to me.
Pain.
"Olivia!"
That voice seems so realistic and I can even feel someone breathing at the back of my neck. My jaw is starting to stiffen and my tears are not coming out of control.
Even though I was able to slide my hands into my pocket, my knife was missing. At that precise instant, the voice enveloped my entire being.
My eyes are now filled with vivid recollections that I constantly strive to push from my mind.
"Pakinggan mo ang boses ko hija. Nandito lang ako, huwag kang makikinig sa kanila," sambit sa akin ng pulis na kaharap. Nakaluhod ito at mahigpit na hawak ang aking maliit na kamay. Ang iyak kong hindi mapigilan ay siyang tumatahob sa kaniyang mga salita. Ngunit umugong nanaman ang malalamig na boses ng lalaking nakatayo ngayon sa likuran ng pulis. Nakapurong itim ito habang nakangisi at nanlilisik ang mga mata sa akin.
"Kahit anong mangyari, huwag kang makikinig sa kaniya hija, nandito ako," dagdag pa nito ngunit natuon lamang lalo ang aking paningin sa nakaitim na lalaki.
"Natatakot kaba?" tanong nito.
"Wag kang mag-alala Olivia. Hindi kita pababayaan, aalisin ko ang lahat ng taong mananakit sayo. Tandaan mo ito Olivia-hindi ka nag-iisa," matapos niyang sabihin iyon ay ginilitan niya ng leeg ang pulis. Tumalsik sa akin ang malapot na dugo at ramdam ko ang paghapdi nang aking mata dulot nuon. Bago ko pa man sumarado ang aking balintataw, bumulong muli siya sa akin.
"Magpahinga ka muna Olivia. Hihintayin ko ang pagbabalik mo," sambit nito bago sinaksak ng kutsilyo ang hita ng bata at may kung anong ibinaon duon. Umalingawngaw naman ang malakas na sigaw nang kadarating lang na binatang pulis. And nakababatang kapatid ni Chief Sanchez, Julius Romero.
"Kuya!"