Observing his features and movements closely, I can identify this individual without a doubt. And I feel like such an idiot for not recognizing him. Even after 16 years had passed, I still held hatred for this individual. I believe he knew me from the day I was questioned about Grace's death. That clarifies his arrogance toward me each time we meet. I also believe he is somewhat aware of my background, based on what his fellow investigator has told me. Speaking of Detective Waxton, he was just as frail and skinny as I was when I last saw him. Even though we were both crying, his small act of compassion offers me encouragement. Ngunit ngayong kasama siya ni Julius sa trabahong ito, I don't think natutuwa pa akong nakita ko siyang muli.
He did grow a lot, I admit. Even though he was still grinning foolishly every time I glanced at him, he is currently a very mature and manly young man. I'm not sure whether I can handle their discomfort or how strange they seem at all.
"Why are you in this place?" Finally, Detective Julius enquired. I don't care that I know he despised me just as much. I'm going to talk about why I came here in particular.
"I'm interested in learning more about Miles Santiago's incidents. Is an autopsy scheduled?" I said. Nagasalubong ang kilay nito.
"You can't just come in here and demand to see the results of an autopsy," he responded absurdly. Bumuga ako ng hangin dahil mukhang hindi nababago ang awra nitong matandang ito. Wala pa naman ako sa mood para ulit-ulitin ang sinasabi ko at tinatamad din akong makisama sa kaniya.
"Julius, I'm sure you knew something. You are familiar with me, so I'm convinced we will get along well. I know we both loathe each other from the past, but this crime goes beyond that," I noted, and he gave me an uncanny look.
"You blame me definitely, but you also knew you needed me," I added.
"Julius?" His scowled eyebrows exude even more fury.
"What? Is that your name, correct?" I said cynically. He was panting a lot.
"What do you want?" finally, naupo ito at masamang tinitigan ako.
"I'd like to support the investigation," he chuckled sarcastically.
"What are you thinking about this case, laro? You can't just barge into some adults' activities. You're too young to be very critical of yourself, kid, so sometimes swallow your pride."
"Julius, pride is unaware of age. Let's apply common sense here." Tumiim ang bagang nito. Isinawalang bahala ko naman iyon. Hinila ko ang isang bangko sa harap ng desk niya at prenteng naupo.
"You are aware that something is wrong. From Grace's death to Miles', you are undoubtedly aware that many more will fall victim to this nonsense if you don't find a solution soon. Whether or not you're blaming me, Julius. Don't deceive yourself; you knew you needed me," he hesitated for a moment before gulping at what I said.
I'm crossing my fingers that he would agree. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure if this has to do with the past. Notwithstanding all the conditions, everyone and everything seems to be doing thoroughly. If the elderly man concurs, though, it can only imply one thing.
"Leave my office, hangga't pinipigilan ko pa ang sarili kong kaladkarin ka," Mariing sambit nito na siyag ikinatiim ng aking bagang.
"Fine, but don't blame me if something happens again."
"Pinagbabantaan mo ba ako?" tanong niya. Tumaas ang aking isang kilay dahil duon.
"No, pero baka nga iyan ang nais iparating nang kung sino mang nasa likod nang nagaganap na ito," sagot ko naman bago tuluyan nang lumabas ng silid.
I couldn't stand it anymore, and I didn't think returning to my apartment would help either, so I decided to drive away and go see Noah's mother instead. Yes, that's correct; I'm on my way there.
***
I watched Noah's mother secretly as soon as I got to the hospital where she was admitted. I can attest that they are giving her excellent care. Kumpara sa unang beses nakita ko siya, malaki ang pinagbago nito. The procedure went well, and she still has optimism in her. She is undoubtedly just as eager as Noah to return home and live with her son.
I moved closer to her bed simply because I couldn't get enough of her, and I started imagining of her as my mother. It will be too wonderful if she survives. Her voice and touch are hardly memories at all; the only thing that remains is the moment she took her own life. And the idea that I might lose her memory forever scares me. If only things were far away from here, perhaps my brother and I could be content with our lives. I had no idea why fate hadn't shown me how to be a decent daughter and sister.
The fact that I am alone persists despite my best efforts to forget and carry on with my life as any other abandoned child would. I don't have anything to cling to or anyone to love. I understand that change can be challenging. I guess I just want someone to pull me closer when everyone pushes me away.
But I'm sick of traveling great distances for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for me. If they can't help me get through whatever it is that's bringing me down, then I'll just give up and stop searching for the memories.
There will come a day, though, when I have to cut out the dead branches from my life. It's time for me to take care of myself, by myself, and alone. For even though I want them to come back into my life, their entire existence has been to teach me the exact opposite of what family, freedom, and love are all about.
I'm still drifting in the ocean after all these years, hoping they'll come back and save me. I try not to move at this time because I don't want to confront the fact that I am alone now and it makes me lose who I am and what makes me valuable. Thus, by letting go of the people that poison my spirit, I would like to do a huge sacrifice for myself.
Though I understand that I shouldn't be alone myself, I must give up trying to find a home elsewhere. Give up staring at the sky and wait for the impossibly unlikely to arrive and save me. Give up on the things and people that are causing me pain. Give up on rigidity, take a plunge, and locate a coast to extract myself from the lethal depths of hope.
I want to be alone no more, but I also want to give myself more opportunities and stop letting my emotions control me for anyone. I need to stop needing people who don't need me and give myself more opportunities. Stop trying to make them into who I want them to be and give myself greater chances. I'm not sure if anything or everyone I'm leaving behind from my past will be replaced by greater things in my future. I may seem little to those who have only recently come to know me, but to those who have, I will be invaluable. I'll see to it that way.
"Hey sweetie." A gentle voice drew me back to reality.
"Oh God did I woke you up?" I said and I gasped in panic. When I realized she was staring at me
She gripped my hands with her frail fingernails and said, "No you're not, and I'm glad I woke up and been able to see you." She gave me a feeble smile before meeting my gaze.
"Thank you," she nearly murmured. Her soft touch and endearing voice keep me where I am even when I wanted to back off and move away.
"I know you're the one who help my son. I saw you with my son when he came here. And I even saw you watching us from afar. I am so thankful," she says as her eyes well up with tears. I'm unable to speak and find it difficult to even form words in my mind. Right now, all I can think of is her hands on mine. It was incredibly tender, caring, and delicate. She is an incredible mother to Noah.
She was crying, but her lips were curving into a smile. "I don't know how to repay you sweety, but if there's anything I can do for you, I would gladly do it. So please tell me, what can I do for you hija?" she said. With a smile on her face, she gently nodded her head as though she was excited to see what she could do for me. Rather than speaking, though, I simply grip her hands tighter in an attempt to evoke the same feeling I had as a child when my mother held me in this manner. I want to believe that I am holding her hands right now, even though I can't recall the exact type of touch. I wanted her to know that even though it was difficult for me to live without her, I still cared about her. However, I also wanted to say goodbye.
"Thank you," I muttered. A single tear then left my eye. I bend and give her a quick kiss on the forehead before releasing her hand and leaving the room.
I unwinded in the hallway once I came out and then proceeded to Dr. Robert Potterson's office.
"Ms. Miller, what a great surprise!" the old doctor shouted, while the leather chair in front of his table was pointed at by him.
"What can I do for you today?" he asks politely, kahit pa alam kong ang dahilan lang naman ay ang malaking perang ibinigay ko sa kaniya para sa pag-aasikaso sa ina ni Noah. I prevent myself from hating him, dahil sa pagkakaalala ko, sobra niyang ginipit si Noah para masimulan lang operasiyon ng nanay nito. He even prioritized his greed, kahit pa kaya naman niyang gawan nang paraan iyon. But instead, he blocks Noah's mother's medication. Kahit pa alam niyang makasasama iyon sa pasyente. Anyway, I came to her not for that, kaya isasantabi ko na muna ito sa ngayon.
"I wanted to see someone's medical record." Kumunot ang nuo niya.
"Who?"
"Grace Marcello. I wanted to see her medical record since the very first day she was admitted to your hospital," I remarked as he gasped.
"Why? What is that for? That is very confidential, Ms. Miller, and we promised to keep our patients records hidden unless you are under the act of law. But for the way you look, no judgement; it's just that I really think you are just a student." The moment I placed a single piece of paper above his desk, he stopped talking.
"15 million pesos for what I am asking for." Inilapag ko ang cheque sa kaniyang lamesa at agad naman niyang dinampot iyon. Napalunok muli ito at mabilis na tumango. Pinanuod ko ang ginagawa niya nang mag simula ito sa pagpipindot sa kaharap na computer. Maging ang paghalughog niya sa mga printed file na nasa drawer sa kaniyang office. I waited patiently for almost 20 minutes until he handed me the files. I smirked, grabbed the paper out of his hands, and exited his office, not even saying my gratitude for what he had done for me. Though I think I already showed my gratitude with the amount of money I gave him.
Sa loob ng kotse ay agad kong inisa-isa ang mga file na nanduon at agad na nagtaka sa mga nababasa. This is not just about Garce's medical record. It includes the medical records of other kids who were in the same situation as hers. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya ni Robbert ipakita ito o nagkamali lamang siya. Sa kabila ng kakapalan ng mga papel, inisa-isa ko ang mga iyon. Hindi ko kilala ang karamihan ngunit napahinto ako sa mga pangalang pamilyar sa akin.
"Grace Marcelo, Miles Santiago, Hunter Glen, Neska Rena Montemayor and... Sofia Nueva." I was stunned for a moment reading those names repeatedly in my head.
What the hell is this?
The date, time, and circumstances of their admission to St. Potterson Medical Hospital remain the same, as I discovered when I rescanned their file. March 30, 1996, with an injection of an unknown medication. Grace, Miles, Neska, and Hunter are all two years old, Sofia is just nine months old, for f*cking sake!
Halos mahibang ako sa nababasa. Hindi ako makapaniwalang mas marami pa ang mga batang nasa edad lamang halos ni Sofia nuon. I can't imagine what happened 22 years ago, but I know something isn't right. In the end, all that remains are the records of the inquiry related to this case. Cristobal Sanchez, an unusual name who investigated the case, grabbed my attention.
"Christobal Sanchez," I uttered. The potential concept I'm thinking of makes my heart constrict. I therefore drove as quickly as I could back to my apartment.
Nang makarating ako, agad akong dumeretso sa lobby kung saan laging nakabantay ang anak ng landlady.
"Can I make a call? I'll be quick," sambit Ko. Busangot na iniabot niya ang kaniyang cellphone at mukhang nabitin sa nilalaro. Nang mahawakan ko ito ay bigla akong natigilan. Binalik ang paningin sa babae at inisip na magtanong kung paano ito gamitin. Ngunit hindi ko na itinuloy nang irapan ako nito. Sa inis ko, hinulaan ko nalang ang gagawin hanggang sa matagpuan ko ang dial pad.
"Hello?" It was Tito Recardo's voice.
"It's me," simpleng sambit ko.
"Oh Liv, hija! Kumusta kana? I'm glad you called may kailangan kaba?"
"Yeah, I need you to find someone for me. Can you do that?"
"Anything, Liv, tell me."
"I need every detail and connection of Christobal Sanchez." Natigilan ang kabilang linya.
"Wait, hija, is that the name of the chief of police sixteen years ago?"
"Just do it as fast as you can." Huling saad ko at agad na pinatay ang tawag. Buntong hininga kong pinagmasdan ang pangalan na iyon sa hawak kong papel, habang pinipilit na pagkonektahin ang lahat ng aking nalaman.
"Here, thanks." Inusog ko rin palapit sa babae ang cellphone niya, ngunit napatayo itong bigla.
"Anong ginawa mo!" Sigaw nito
"Huh?"
"Sinira mo ang cellphone ko!" dabog niyang sambit. Paulit-ulit pa niyang pinipindot ang cellphone na hindi na ngayon gumagana.
"Ano ba 'yan, nanghiram kana nga lang sinira mo pa!" tumataas na ang boses nito, kaya't nakukuha na namin ang atensiyon ng ibang tenants na nakatambay sa lobby.
"Babayaran ko nalang, tell me how much." Nanlilisik ang kaniyang mga mata bago bumaling sa'kin.
"Pinaglululuko mo ba ako? Baka nga kahit pagpapagawa ng cellphone ko ay hindi mo afford-" stop her.
"Refrain from speaking, please," ani ko saka dinukot ang cheque sa bag at nag sulat duon ng halagang sa palagay ko'y sobra pa sa presyo ng cellphone niya. Matapos kong pirmahan ay pabagsak kong iniwan sa kaharap niyang desk at walang pasabing iniwan na siya duon.
"Where did you bring my f*ckin car?" Hunter said, looking so frustrated.
"Hoy! Bunganga mo!" saway naman sa kaniya ni Noah na prenteng nakaupo sa sofa at humihigop ng kape.
I was about to tell them what I'd found out, but I immediately stopped when Noah's voice arose inside my head.
"In a crime, everyone is a suspect, Liv."
He's right; I am not yet certain what exactly this is. Baka magkamali lang ako kung ipapaalam ko ito kay Hunter. What if this is really not about my past? Paano kung mismong mga magulang nila ang gumagawa nito sa kanila kagaya nang posibleng nangyari kay Grace. They were all too young back then.
On a second thought, lahat lang naman ay hypothesis. I have no proof. It still can be about my past, dahil sa mga clue at letter na obviously para sa akin. Kung totoo namang kasalanan ito ng mga magulang nila, then anong kinalaman
ko duon?
Right now, everything is enigmatic and concealed inside a metal box, which I am unable to open. I suppose it's best to keep all of this information to myself for the time being because there are still a lot of broken pieces that I need to find.
"Saan ka nanggaling sana isinama mo nalang kami," Hunter adds. I clutch the folded papers tightly in my hand.
"None of your business," I said and threw the car key in his direction.
"Anong none of my business, kung saan-saan mo dinala 'yong kotse ko nang walang paalam." Tumaas ang aking kilay sa sinabi niya. Hindi naman kasi siya mukhang offended, I feel like he only wanted to tag along with me.
"Mag-usap nalang tayo bukas, umalis na kayo," I said and Noah jump out of his seat.
"Kayo? Pati ako?" sambit nito na may pag turo pansa kaniyang sarili.
"Narinig mo naman diba? Kasama ka gago!" basag sa kaniya ni Hunter at sapilitan itong hinila palabas. Mabuti nalang naipatong agad ni Noah ang tasa ng kape sa center table kaya't hindi naman ito natapon. Nakahinga naman ako nang maaliwalas nang tuluyan na silang nakalabas.
I read through the medical reports all night long. Since some of them were only infants when they came here, it is somewhat difficult to determine whether they were also young ville students. However, I'm beginning to believe that this is more than just a straightforward epidemic. If only Julius had have agreed to work with me, there could be less hassle, but regardless of my involvement, I must find a solution to this problem.
*****
Noah POV...
"What's with you and Miller?" seryusong salubong sa akin ni Tito Julius. It's already past nine at nagulat ako nanh biglang may mag-doorbell sa condo. Lalo ko pang ikinagulat nang makita si Tito Julius at Waxton sa harap ng pintuan. They are both looking at me. It is enough for me to say that I am in trouble.
"What?" medyo nagugulohan kong tanong. Hindi ko masiguro kung tama ba ang pagkakarinig kong binanggit niya si Liv. But Tito Julius is way more furious, I can say. Derektang pumasok ito sa loob ng condo at inilibot ang paningin sa paligid.
"Are you living with her!?" he almost yelled at me, which made me step back.
"Tito, what's going on? Paano ninyo nalaman 'tong address ko? Saka wala dito si Liv, I'm not living with her; okay, she's my friend," I said.
"Your friend? At naniwala ka naman na kaibigan ang turing sayo ng babaeng 'yon?" Waxton tried to stop my uncle from shouting, but I guess he's on his limit now. Kahit pa hindi ko alam kung ano ang ikinagagalit niya.
"Ano bang problema mo Tito kay Liv?" kunot nuo kong tanong.
"Problema? Nahihibang ka na bang bata ka? Hindi mo alam kung sino ang babaeng 'yon! Saan nanggaling tong condo na ito? Saan ka komuha ng pera pampa-opera kay Norma? I called Robbert this morning, and he even informed me na nasa private room na si Norma, and you just avail a special medical treatment!"
"What's wrong with that? I just want my mom to get better! Is that wrong?" That's it; I can no longer contain myself, especially when someone questions the objectives I had set
"Where did you get that money? That's my f*cking problem!"
"Liv helped me. And I have no idea why you're always hostile towards her, but she's what you think she is." To my surprise he grabbed my collar dragged me.
"Hindi mo kilala ang babaeng 'yon Noah. I'm pretty sure may kapalit ang lahat ng tulong na binigay niya sayo, tama ba ako?" I shake my head, but he even tightens his grip, which makes me refrain from talking back.
"You just made a deal with the devil; sana lang ay hindi mo pagsisisihan ang ginawa mo. Lalo na pag nalaman mo ang kasamaan ng babaeng 'yan." Nang-gigigil ngunit mahina niyang sambit.
"Kung ikinagagalit mo ang pagkakasangkot ko sa kaso ni Grace, gaya ko nadamay lang din si Liv. Wala siyang kinalaman duon at lalong hindi totoo ang binibintang nila sa amin!" Matigas na sambit ko.
"Masyado ka nang nalason ng babaeng 'yan, Noah para kampihan mo pa siya at ipagtanggol sa harap ko. If only you knew the truth, baka ikaw pa mismo ang magtaboy sa kaniya palayo." Padarag na binitawan ako nito ngunit nagawa ko namang ibalanse ang sarili upang hindi tuluyang mabuwal sa pagkakatayo.
"Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo Tito?" I confusedly asked.
"Here, find it yourself," aniya sabay hagis sa akin ng kulay puting invelope saka lumabas ng condo.
"Pagpasensiyahan mo na ang Tito mo Noah, nag-aalala lang naman 'yon sayo," sambit ni Waxton saka marahang tinapik ang balikat ko bago tuluyang lumabas.
Huminga ako ng malalim at inihilamos ang dalawang palad sa mukha. Alam kong strikto at masungit itong kapatid ng tatay ko, pero ngayon lamang niya ako napagbuhatan ng kamay. Hindi ko malaman kung bakit ganun nalang ang galit niya kay Liv at pinagbibintangan pa niya ito nang kung ano-ano.
I glance at the white envelopes now strewn across the tiled floor. I grabbed it up and started looking through the documents after learning that it was about the sixteen-year-old death of my father. Despite feeling guilty, I was still able to scan additional files.
My father passed away in a very painful way. He was repeatedly stabbed in the chest and had his throat cut after rescuing a criminal victim. Even though I was only seven years old at the time, I can still clearly recall how my dad's passing became a national news topic. Newspapers and articles on my father's passing are being distributed around the country. My mother even went to multiple hearings to identify the person who killed my father.
I hurt when I think about the past, yet I feel like I should have known everything about my father's death. I had to accept that the years of denial were ended.
Sitting on the sofa, I went over his documents and the witness statements, which included 10-year-old Waxton Cruz and Tito Julius. Although neither of them saw the precise killing, they were the first to discover my father's lifeless body in front of the suspect.
Olivia Dark, the name of the suspect. The fact that there is no more information available on the suspect surprised me. Just her name, no description, no age. Just as I was closing the envelope, I noticed a second, smaller package on the ground. When I pick it up and open it, my heart races.
The seal makes it obvious that this is a secret file from the NBI. It dealt with Olivia Dark, describing her history and qualities not included in the original file. When I finally saw the face of my father's killer, I gasped in fear and sat down on the sofa once again.
Oliver Dark and Elisabeth Enrequez, who both came from wealthy families, had her as their youngest daughter. It makes sense that, as a minor, her credentials are not in my father's file.
I groaned heavily as I looked inside the envelope for more documents and eventually came upon a printed image of a girl. She looked stunning and was grinning. Even her dark brown hair and eyes showcase her beauty. Her appearance and skin tone exude riches. I couldn't stop thinking about the pearl bracelet she was wearing while her hands were linked together.
This bracelet is familiar in some way.
I don't know why, but when I turned the picture, I started to feel depressed.
Olivia Dark, born on March 23, 1996, passed away on January 4, 2003.