It had been exactly six days since I'd left Seattle and landed in the South of France for my parents' wedding. Crazy, I know, but here I was, playing the part of the dutiful son. It sucked ass truthfully.
"A little to the left...and that's perfect!" The photographer exclaimed as I rolled my eyes, stepping closer to my parents.
Mom had decided that she'd wanted the full package when they'd decided to remarry since they hadn't even had a proper ceremony the first time around. Hence why the pre-rehearsal dinner photos.
I was currently standing in the foyer of the lobby of the fancy hotel that they'd booked, counting down the minutes until we could finally get to the rehearsal dinner.
"Are we done yet?" I asked through gritted teeth, barely restraining myself from glancing at my watch.
"Oh Neil, darling," My mom laughed, though I could sense the note of warning in it. Something that I had been used to, growing up with an Indian mother. "Don't be impatient. We'll be getting to the exciting part before you know it."
Exciting my ass.
"Yes, cousin dearest, have some patience." One of my cousins from my mom's side - Dipa - mocked from behind the photographer.
That little shit.
Mom had invited most of her family for today and tomorrow's shenanigans and that was exactly the reason why the entire lobby was full of familiar faces. Ranging from nosy aunties and beer bellied uncles to annoying cousins and grandchildren, everything around me was buzzing with chaos. And I hated it. I just wanted the peace that being alone brought. Fortunately, there weren't many people from dad's side since half of them were dead or spread all across the world and unable to make it.
"Aaand one more! Look straight into the camera..." I pasted on the fakest smile I could muster, tuning out my surroundings as a cacophony of French and Hindi filled the room.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, the photographer let us go. I adjusted the collar of my shirt, ready to follow the crowd to the main venue when Dipa sidled up to me.
"CEO is looking good on you cuz."
"Trust me, it's not as pretty as it seems." I muttered as I pushed open the door, the slight wind wafting into our faces. It was pretty pleasant at this time of the month in Nice. Quite the opposite of the weather in Seattle, where it had no doubt started raining.
Thinking of Seattle reminded me of Aaliya. Of that last night we'd spent together and how explosive it had been. It was going to be torture to have to work together in such close proximity and not do anything about it, as if I hadn't worshipped every inch on her body all night long.
"What are you thinking about?" Dipa's voice rudely snapped me out of my daydreams as I blinked at her.
"Nothing."
"Liar. You're thinking about someone special, aren't you?" She narrowed her eyes at me in question, daring me to say something.
"What? Why would you say that?" On the outside, I was calm but on the inside? I was freaking the fuck out. Was I that obvious and easy to read?
"Well, it was worth a shot to see if you'd spill your guts. Auntie has been trying to get you to settle down forever."
My heart slowed at the fact that it had been a random question and not a deep dive into my mind.
"That's not happening anytime soon." I snorted. "I'm too busy with work to make time for a relationship. Besides, my last few relationships have ended in failure anyways."
"It's true though. You're practically married to your job."
"That's because I have important things to do all day and don't have the luxury of having a flexible career like you."
Dipa was a life coach, much to her parents' chagrin, and she'd settled down in the US as well. They'd been trying to get her to settle down - with the support of my mother, of course. But the only difference was that where I did not want to get married right now, she was more than ready to settle down with her ideal husband - except that she couldn't find him. According to her, there were plenty of fish in the sea...but most of them turned out to be clownfish. Her words, not mine. Dipa and I were the closest in age in the entire Kapoor family and hence we knew each other pretty well thanks to the summers I'd spent in Delhi with her family.
"You know it's not healthy right?" She said quietly after a few seconds. "All of us need companionship in life. How long are you going to keep working yourself to the bone just as a distraction?"
Well, she'd hit the nail on the head. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a night of peaceful sleep - except maybe when I'd spent it with Aaliya. I had gotten so used to being my father's son, so used to living up to his expectations that the only thing that I'd lived and breathed was work - more so in the six months since I'd decided to take over the company for him.
"That's rich coming from you Miss Life Guru." I jabbed as she scoffed at me.
Before she could say anything else, we found ourselves in the hall where the dinner was taking place. It was filled with at least a hundred people, despite my mother insisting that it was to be an intimate affair. I was sure that it was going to be the same case at the wedding tomorrow.
Dipa whistled from beside me before she strode over to where a placard with her name had been placed, closest to the door. "That's a lot of people."
"It sure is." Following her lead, I searched for my name, finding it right opposite the bride and groom's card and unfortunately beside one of my aunt's.
The chair was empty for now, thank fuck, but I had no doubt that it would be occupied soon. One by one the entire family started filtering in, the noise growing by the minute as I struggled to get used to this setting. I wasn't used to seeing a lot of my family - I couldn't remember the last time I'd visited that distant cousin that was sitting in the corner of the room. Or those little kids that were sitting on their mothers' laps. I didn't recognise them at all. It had been years since I'd voluntarily participated in any family gatherings or functions. Luckily, Dipa would fill me in on them since she thoroughly enjoyed the family gossip. It wouldn't bode well for me if I didn't recognise most of the people tomorrow.
Once everyone had settled into their respective seats, both my parents stood up, a glass of champagne in both of their hands.
"Tonight, we are here to celebrate our union once again." My father's voice boomed across the hall. "We lost our way from each other for a little while but eventually true love found its way back."
My mom smiled at dad with stars in her eyes, looking radiant for the first time in her life which sent a pang through my heart. No matter what had happened in the past, she was still my mother. She still loved me despite having not been present for most of my life. And I found myself letting go of my resentment for the both of them, at least in that moment, and recognising that maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
"We have our son to thank, first and foremost. For if it hadn't been for him, we probably would have stayed divorced for god knows how much longer." Everybody's attention strayed to me as I smiled and nodded my head, completely taken aback by the declaration.
"To love and all that heals." My father toasted as I swallowed hard, raising his flute alongside my mother's.
Everybody repeated that sentiment before the servers rushed in, placing dishes with steaming hot food in front of us. The menu was a combination of Indian, French as well as American delicacies so that everybody had their own pick of food. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur as I mingled with known faces for a little while, knowing that I would have to socialise with the remaining guests the next day. Exhausted and already dreading the elaborate ceremony that was to come tomorrow - since I'd been the lucky one to oversee that the bride and groom's wedding without a hitch, courtesy of being their one and only son - I made up some flimsy excuse and decided to retreat to my room for the night. My parents were too busy making googly eyes at each other and talking to everyone else to notice that I was leaving and frankly, I didn't want to disturb them either nor was I ready to acknowledge their toast to me as of now. So, with a quick wave to Dipa, I dipped out of the room.
The sky had darkened to a midnight hue, the only sounds being of late night animals penetrating the silence. I changed into a pair of sweatpants after a quick shower, following which I opened my Instagram app. The pink circle around Mac's icon had me clicking on it as I swiped through his stories, only pausing when I saw a very familiar face in the background. Aaliya was there - along with a couple of people from the office as well as some unfamiliar faces - in the pub. My heart beat in an unsteady rhythm as my finger pressed down on the screen. Even days after being with her, I still couldn't get over the sight of her. I forced myself to go through the remaining stories before I switched off my phone, knowing that I had to get a good night's sleep. Everything else could wait for when I'd get back to Seattle the day after tomorrow.
***
I'd always been under the impression that weddings usually started with bright, sunny mornings and a very ecstatic bride and groom. That wasn't the case, it seemed.
"Lord!" My mother exclaimed, drumming her freshly manicured nails on the wooden vanity counter. "This is terrible. Absolutely terrible."
We were currently occupying the bridal suite of the hotel as my mom panicked over her upcoming nuptials. Apparently, the weather wasn't right today - something the forecast had assured would be perfect. Fortunately, I had the hindsight to advise my mother to book an indoor venue. Dark clouds lingered in the sky, completely blocking the sun and what otherwise would have been a sunny day at eleven in the morning.
"Mom," I started, exasperated. "It's fine. The wedding ceremony is happening indoors anyways."
"Yes, but what about the media?" She wailed, picking up the trail of her blush colored wedding dress and pacing the room. Mom had decided not to the go with the traditional, classic white dress since she wanted a new beginning and didn't want to taint it with meaningless and outdated rituals - her words, not mine.
"The media?" I asked blankly, taking a minute to process what she'd just said. "What the fuck is the media doing here?"
My mother sent me and admonishing look which I ignored - I was thirty, almost thirty one for fuck's sake - before replying. "You know this was inevitable, Neil. With how high profile our family is, this was bound to happen."
"You mean how you and Dad called them to what otherwise was a private and unknown location?"
My mother had the decency to look sheepish before she focused her attention elsewhere. "You know how it is, darling."
I suppressed an eye roll as I tried to do damage control. "Even counting the media, we should all be able to fit in the venue. It's manageable mom, so please stop freaking out. I've got this."
With her back turned to me, I couldn't really get a read on her expression. But the moment she whirled around with tears welling up in her eyes, I knew she was about to say something important. Because Mira Kapoor-Miller never cried. Not in front of her family nor anyone else. She was always known as a powerhouse of a businesswoman, always so professional and even cold to a certain extent, that it was a bit of an absurd sight to see.
"Have I told you how much I love you?"
My head reared back at her question because I couldn't remember the last time mom had said those words together in a single sentence.
"I know your father and I haven't been the best parents or role models. But I want to right my wrongs...we want to correct our past mistakes."
"She's right, son." My father decided to walk in right at that moment, as if the moment wasn't heavy as it is. "We fucked up." He said bluntly, putting an arm around my mom's shoulders as she leaned her head on his. "And in the process, we fucked you up too. And we're so sorry for that." My father was tearing up too as I clenched my jaw, fighting not to break down at this second.
I couldn't tell you how long I'd waited to hear those words. How badly the young boy in me needed to hear it. Part of me still thought that this was some elaborate fantasy or some different universe where this was happening. But no...it was real.
"We've both been going to therapy and it's made us realise a lot of things." Mom went on, tilting my world on its axis. I never thought I'd ever hear those words coming out of my parents' mouths. I'd gone as far as to make my peace with everything. "It probably might be a bit too late for this realisation, but I want to better our relationship. How much ever time we have left on this Earth, we want to show you that we can be better parents. A better family."
"How long has this been going on? Therapy, I mean." I said, once I'd found my voice.
"Two months or so." Dad said as he smiled at me.
"Well," I cleared my throat. "I'm glad you realised that. Better late than never, right?" The corner of my lips quirked up as I continued. "I'm not going to lie and say that life was perfect before. You hurt me...you abandoned me when I needed you the most."
"And we're truly sorry for that, sweetie." Mom's voice shook as she spoke.
I nodded and acknowledged her apology before I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I really want our relationship to work out so I'm willing to give you guys another chance. I want us to be a happy family too."
Mom sniffed before pulling me into her arms, dad joining the group hug a second later. "You know what though? Even when I felt alone, I did always love you." I muttered as we pulled back. "And I know you loved me too. Even if you didn't exactly know how to show it at that time."
"Of course, Neil. We always have and will love you. You're our son." Dad said with a gruff voice as he patted my shoulder. "And we're sorry for ever making you feel that way. No child should ever go through that."
I could only nod as both my parents sent me watery smiles. "Alright, that's enough touchy feely stuff for a day. We've got more coming up anyways, what with your wedding vows." I lightened the somber atmosphere with that quip as my parents laughed.
With a kiss to the cheek from my mom and another round of I love yous, I left the suite and made my way to the main hall where the wedding was going to take place. Since mom and dad were foregoing the traditional way of getting married since it was the second time, there was no first look or anything like that. Instead, they'd written up two sets of vows - one they wanted to say in private to each other and another short and sweet one they'd say in front of friends and family.
Before I knew it, I was swept up with the wedding festivities and soon enough, the bride and groom made their way to the front. The ceremony went without a hitch after which the buffet was open to guests. Music played through the speakers as several couples joined the couple of the hour on the dance floor.
A stab of envy hit my chest as I watched my parents stare at each other lovingly, wanting to know how it felt like to be in love. I dismissed that thought almost immediately, knowing that it wasn't in the cards for me. All the same, I was happy to see my parents' progress and how far they'd come from the people they used to be before. It seemed like full blown arguments and constant work trips would be a thing of the past. It was good for them though - they deserved the time together. A figure sidling up beside me caught my attention as I turned to face Dipa.
"No date?" I asked as I tore a piece of puri and dipped in the chole masala.
It was a dichotomy, really. Here I was, all donned up in a three piece suit while I got my hands dirty eating North Indian food. I loved the contrast of western and indian though.
"Date my ass." Dipa scoffed as her eyes roamed over the dance floor. "I can't even hit on anybody since over half of the men in this room are either cousins or uncles."
"Don't let your mom hear you talk like that." I chuckled just as I felt another presence beside me.
Speak of the devil.
"Neil, baccha, it's been so long since I've seen you!" Nalini Maasi, mom's only other sister, pinched my cheeks as if I was five years old all over again. "You've grown up so much!"
"Ma," Dipa cut in, scrunching up her nose. "You're embarrassing."
"Embarrassing?" Maasi echoed as she shot a dirty look to her daughter. "Look who's talking." The subtly veiled insult was delivered with a laugh, though I could see Dipa face screw up in irritation at her mother's intentional dig towards her career choice.
"I think it's amazing what Dipa's doing." I interrupted, before an argument broke out between these two. "I think she really makes an impact on so many people."
My cousin sent me a grateful look as her mother snorted beside me.
"Nonsense. But that doesn't matter right now. Tell me," Oh boy. Based on the way she leaned in conspiratorially, I knew where this conversation was going. "Have you found any nice Indian girl to settle down with?"
Despite knowing that this question was going to come from either one of my relatives today, it took me by surprise. Not because of the question. But because of the way my mind instantly flew onto thoughts of tanned skin and black her. A nice Indian girl.
"No. Not really." I muttered.
"Well, I better go and get something to eat." Dipa said as she maneuvered around her mother towards where the food was currently being served. She sent me a yikes look and a thumbs up before she disappeared from view.
"You're already thirty, Neil. Don't you think it's time you settled down with a wife and kids?"
I was saved from answering that as some other distant relative cut in and started speaking to maasi. I took that as my cue to leave with a polite nod.
I spent the rest of my evening chatting to people I barely remembered and taking countless pictures for the media before it was time for my parents to catch their flight to Greece for their honeymoon. After a prolonged farewell of the newly married couple, it was finally time to wrap things up. By the time everyone had cleared out from the hall and retreated to their respective rooms, it was already past midnight. With a deep, exhausted sigh, I took the elevator to my room. I changed into my sleepwear, barely even registering it due to the fatigue, before I flopped down into my warm, cosy bed. I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow, satisfied by dreams of going back home finally.
♡♡♡
*le sigh* anyone else relate to nosy brown aunties? istfg they're gonna be my thirteenth reason someday.
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