Hello everyone, Nevi is here again with a new story. First of all, thank you for following and supporting my stories, and about this one, you should have patience with it.
You may not like many of characters, and if so, please don't hate them in real life. I only use the idols' names that I like, so if someone doesn't play a good character in here, please remember that all of it is fiction and it's not related to the idol themselves.
This is a trigger warning so you can skip if you're not comfortable with not so good fictional characters. I hope you enjoy, and let's proceed to the first chapter.
-Nevi🤞
~~~
Lisa stares at the little see-through glass of the OR in the veterinary hospital, she stares and doesn't believe what the doctor just told her. She doesn't even breathe for a long time, and just when her brother tries to reach for her, she walks away. Lisa purses her lips so tight on each other to prevent her tears, and she successfully manages to do it,... in front of her brother. Only with hand, Lisa orders him not to follow, and he obeys because her knows the only thing Lisa needs right now is space. Just when she gets out of the hospital building, just when the first wave of the cool air of early spring hits her, she breaks.
That's when her trembling chin loses the battle against a big teary sob, that's when Lisa falls down on the steps of the entrance and doesn't even care about the eyes of society. She breaks on her tears, buries her face in her arms and each passing second, Lisa cries harder than she did for a long time.
She remembers the harsh words, the ugly truth that is lying inside the vet. She remembers and finds it hard to believe.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Manoban. We did all we could. The injuries were deep, and with internal trauma... I'm sorry, your cat didn't make it."
She wishes she could unhear the words, she didn't want to know. It's not fair...
Lisa cries harder, she can feel her eyes are popping out, she feels the physical pain, her head, her eyes, her throat, but...
"Leo...!" no other words come out, only Leo and then tears again.
Lisa doesn't even try to wipe her tears anymore.
She doesn't care.
She had just lost her only pet, her baby. One of the main reasons she was still Lisa, still the happy bubbly Lisa.
But.
Everything feels different now. She doesn't feel happy, she doesn't feel like Lisa.
"Your cat didn't make it."
Lisa is about to cry louder when someone puts a hand on her shoulder. She's too tired that she doesn't even jump in frighten. She just stares at her front, not minding the stream of tears running down her face.
"Hey... Are you okay, miss?"
The voice is unfamiliar to her ears, and she doesn't even look back to see the one who just called her. Why does it matter? It doesn't. Lisa doesn't care, she just wants to sit there and cry until she can't cry anymore. That's what she really wants to do. And definitely doesn't want to answer some stranger's stupid question when she clearly is not okay at all.
And then, something at her peripheral view moves, too obvious that she's sure that someone has just sat next to her, she feels the warmth near her, but again, doesn't even bother to look.
"Hey... take this." Lisa doesn't bother, she doesn't know why this voice doesn't leave her alone. She has just lost her four-year-old cat, he'll forever stay four now.
With that, she cries louder. Everything feels like a very, very bad dream. It's a living nightmare. She hates every second of it.
"Maybe you want to... take a walk?" The woman asks again.
Lisa then, turns her head briefly just enough to see her sitting next to her, a woman in a scarlet cardigan and a skirt with the same color as the cardigan. Her eyes, unlike Lisa's, are bright, they're shining, like the starts. She looks much different from what Lisa looks right now, like the heaven's gate got opened and an angel just fell out of it. Her brown locks look softer than Lisa has ever seen a human having them, even softer than babies.
For a moment, Lisa can't take her eyes off the latter's, they're so different from each other. Then she looks away, her eyes remind Lisa of cats... her cat. And she can't stop the new wave of tears. She doesn't want to stop.
"Come on! Let's take a walk." She says again.
Lisa doesn't know why she stands up and follows the woman. She doesn't know why the stranger seems so trustable to her. She doesn't even know why she doesn't bother text her brother/manager to inform him about it.
She just stands up and walks with the woman, and then she notices the dog leash in her hand and a brown fur ball hopping before them. The dog seems healthy, and happy.
Unlike her Leo.
Lisa has to look away. She feels bad, she feels jealous. Leo could've lived if it wasn't because of her...
"Your pet is sick?" The woman asks, carefully. But she can't be careful enough, Lisa's pet is not sick! He's dead. Lisa doesn't answer, she just stares at the way they are walking in, with trees and bushes. New tears are wetting her face, and she again doesn't even try to wipe them away.
They walk in silence, for minutes, Lisa doesn't look, but she can feel the woman's time to time glances on her. Yet, she doesn't answer to any of them. It passes like this for a while, she doesn't even feel the pain in her feet even with this much walking. But then she feels like talking.
Her voice hardly cooperates, but she doesn't budge the crack in it, who cares?
"It... it was my fault. I'm the reason my cat... died."
It doesn't take more than a second for the girl to hold Lisa in her arms so tight that Lisa can't feel anything any longer, and she lets her, she lets a stranger to keep her in arms, she doesn't know why, she doesn't need to give herself any reason on why. All Lisa is seeking for is comfort, and the girl seems to have it in her arms for any unknown reason. Maybe it's the soothing scent in her perfume, or the softness of her touch, or the calming words she's uttering with or without waiting for Lisa to say anything,
Or maybe it's the way she makes Lisa's heartbeat so out of rhythm that makes the young, tall girl wonder what is wrong with her.
Lisa doesn't know and honestly, she doesn't think she wants to know. She just wants to be in her arms and cry, cry until her head is light enough to forget. To forget that she has just lost her strongest string to sanity. Lisa isn't sure how she can live when her baby Leo isn't around anymore. She still has remaining of cat's fur on her clothes, long white and ash straight strands of cat hair itching her body under their weight.
"I k-killed him!"
She lets out another cry, another shiver into embrace of a stranger who strangely feels like home Lisa hasn't felt for ages. She hasn't felt it even when she was in her mother's arms. Somehow the feeling of her mother's embrace has been all a little heavy for her liking, a little expectedly, she had been feeling she has to always carry a title to make her family proud, but in this one, it was just calming. The woman wanted her to do nothing, all she is doing is to rub her back the way nobody has ever done before, she doesn't want her to be the Lalisa she is on stage, or the Pranpriya she has to be at home, she seems to only care for her wellbeing, to have her nerves in control.
Lisa knows her tears are starting to get down when she can hear the very soft voice talking in her ear, still a hand stroking her back and the other combing in her hair.
"Hey... Hey. It'll be fine. It's okay. He's in a better place now. You'll be fine."
And Lisa just lets the words sync in her mind, she allows herself to believe whatever the woman is telling her, even if they're just bunch of lies. She gives her body the permission of being taken care of, because damn she needs it. It takes her another good 15 minutes to get herself together and when it happens, Lisa knows she has to pull away from the safe place she has oddly found herself. She knows, but honestly Lisa doesn't want to, these thin arms are so safe to simply just let go. This woman has created somewhat of a bubble around her, like if Lisa stays here, nothing in her life would go on the way it is, nothing would be hard, nothing would be real, nobody expects her to be or do anything. Here in her arms, Lisa can only exist and be comfortable.
But she pulls away.
Lisa has always been a strong woman, even in her hardest days, Lisa had never let herself to be weak, and right now, even if she has shown indolence, she knows she's had enough, even if her face is still displaying pain and tear, even if her big chocolate eyes are glassy and lost, she steps out of the stranger's personal space and gives herself a chance to finally study her features, this time with a clear vision.
She wipes her tears off with the back of her hands and blinks a few times to get a clear frame of the brunette woman with sharp feline eyes and puffy cheeks. Lisa knows she's staring for too long when the woman suddenly giggles at her and makes her cheeks puff even more, the sight just gives 'dumpling' vibes to Lisa. She wants to check if they are as soft as they look like or not. The taller girl blinks and steps back, remembering she's gawking for more than necessary. She can't stop the pink shading her cheeks, and maybe has to thank her already crimson cheeks for hiding her true feelings.
"I... I'm sorry." She sputters and with all the flushed cheeks because of crying, Lisa still feels the heat finding its way up to her face, making the skin even more red. Then the realization hits her hard, what was she thinking to let herself be dragged away from the hospital by an unknown woman to a park she hasn't even been here ever.
What if... what if somebody notices her? what if she's on the front page of gossip magazines tomorrow before even waking up?
Maybe fear is shown on her face that the brunette takes a careful step towards her, her hands half up for a sign to tell her there's nothing to be afraid of, and as strange as it is, Lisa lets herself buy her little gesture and stops on her backwards pace.
"You are safe here. I promise."
"I..." Lisa wets her lips by rubbing her tongue on them before staring right at the feline eyes with most concern, challenging her to make her believe. "I should... I have to g-go home." She hardly manages to say.
"Okay." The stranger says. "I'll drive you home."
Lisa's eyes widen in pure fear, as if she doesn't know how to talk to this woman, and she has absolutely no reason to trust her, even if her smile is inviting and her eyes are capturing, there is still not enough reason to give herself under her care. Lisa glances down over the brown fur with glittering eyes and then up at the feline concerned ones. Panic suddenly starts to form in her stomach and rises up to her throat, it doesn't help her case, not even the slightest.
"No! I... I have to be... I have to go to my... m-my Leo! I... He needs me. I should-..."
It is obvious from the stranger's perspective that Lisa is about to experience a panic attack, so she goes straight to action, steps forward in Lisa's space and holds her biceps so firm that it actually feels hurting after a point, her soft feline eyes become stormy and aggressive, the way Lisa only dreams of daring to decline anything they want her to do. She doesn't know why, maybe it's the eyes that reminds her of Leo's, or maybe it's the tone that makes her stomach twist like a group of fireflies are lighting up her inside.
"Look at me. Hey! You're okay, and so does he! I promise you'll be okay. Okay? Look at me."
Lisa is forced to look up from her feet to the eyes that are ordering her. and she finds herself obeying. Her lungs feel calmer and her eyes sting less. She just stares into the eyes that give her nothing but composure. Lisa feels it, she definitely feels the way all the negative voices in her mind just shut up and she then does nothing but listening to the mellow voice which is flying to her ears.
"That's it, you're great. Let's go do... anything you want. Hmmm? What do you say?" her eyes stare at Lisa the way she only finds her stiffened body nod in agreement. The stranger moves one of her hands on Lisa's arm up to her shoulder and then her neck, cupping one side of her slender neck, she gently rubs her thumb on Lisa's jawline. But then she steps back and it affects Lisa not in a good way, her eyes widen and her body goes cold. She still can feel the trace of a delicate thumb on her jawline burning her skin, and lack of it freezing her to death.
"Where are you g-going?" She's afraid to be left behind again, to be lost in dark again. The warm hand again cups the same place on her neck, and Lisa doesn't know if she should be thankful to her since she's spared the rest of her skin, or be disappointed that the rest of her body couldn't feel the amazing warmth like this specific spot on her neck.
"Nowhere. I'm right here, just making a phone call, okay?"
Lisa only eyes her, her chin trembling from her attempt to keep her tears away, and she honestly doesn't remember if her sorrow is because of this stranger walking away, or there was any other reason to be grieving about. She isn't sure if she can trust this woman with not leaving her on her own or not, but with a one plus one, she knows she has no other choice but to wait, to listen to her calming voice as she takes her phone out and talks to someone from the other end of the line.
This is strange, very, very strange. How could she do that? How could she talk to someone this cold, this ordering, when just a moment ago, her voice was caressing Lisa's eardrums like soft velvet, but now it's cold as icebergs in the south pole. Lisa feels her mouth falling and touching the asphaltic ground, even the feline warm brown eyes aren't warm and gentle anymore. They look like they're able to end anything and anyone if necessary. Even the dog near her feet doesn't dare to continue being playful. The atmosphere changes into something duller, something Lisa is not very comfortable with.
She doesn't know or have any reason, but there's this feeling inside her chest, the one that seems like there's someone sitting inside her heart, knotting her veins very tight and then undoing them. she shouldn't feel this way, and doesn't even understand its being, but damn it's not good.
It doesn't take long until the call is over and like a weight is lifted off the park, everything becomes normal once Lisa receives a sweet little gummy smile from the stranger. The taller girl only studies the expression she's giving her, and oddly it's normal. Normal as in the sweet, mesmerizing, soothing kind of normal that she has shown Lisa first. It makes her sigh in relief.
Once the phone is put in somewhere, she walks near Lisa again, reaching for the Thai's hand and giving her a soft but firm squeeze.
"My driver will be here in a minute, k?"
"T-To where?" Her voice doesn't seem to be able to invade a specific octave.
"Anywhere you want. I promise, I won't hurt you."
And Lisa believes her. as cliché as she must be, Lisa thinks the sincerity in her voice is enough to believe, she doesn't need to know the name, she doesn't know to know the attitude, all she needed was the purity in her voice, and she has found it right there.
"I want to go to..." She takes a moment to think, what she wants to do? What she always wanted to do but couldn't because of her schedule or all different rules that she had to follow. But then, Lisa thinks twice, does she have to obey those rules? Go there, eat this, talk to them, smile more, be a good girl, don't get mad, be a good girl, listen to what they say, be a good girl.
Be a good girl.
Be a good girl.
Lisa is done with being a good girl. What had it gotten her besides money? It has made her distanced with her family, it has made her alone. She knows she has absolutely no one but Chaeyoung, her best friend. Not even her brother is in her inner circle. It's been so long since he and Lisa had a proper conversation about any topic that siblings would step around, no. All they have to talk about is related to job, he has been just a man with blood relation that is always around to tell her do this or that.
Lisa can't care about it anymore. For heaven's sake! She has just lost her Leo!
Just the thought of it makes her shake her head abruptly.
It's enough.
"I just want chocolates."
She doesn't want to, but her voice sounds so broken that softens the woman's gaze in an instance. This is just so sad, so cruel that all Lisa wishes for is a meal of chocolate and nothing else. It is inhumane to forbid someone from having the simplest freedom just to look so thin and standard in a freaking photoshoot.
But not tonight, the circle has to be broken tonight, she's going to have all her favorite types of chocolate together. She wants to enjoy them without worrying over her weight or how she would look if she overeats. Lisa doesn't have to think of it tonight.
It's her only free day, and she wants to make it last as long as possible. She just wants to feel free, even if it's not real, even if it's only a façade, a glamorous delusion created by a stranger only to keep her mind off the loss she's going to feel sooner or later.
Speaking of the stranger, the woman gives her a nod with a tight lips smile. Lisa watches as the red, plump lips widen and her cheeks compress the feline eyes and make them become more enchanting.
"Then chocolate it is."
And just by the time, a white car parks right there, a few meters away from the girls on the edge of the sidewalks. Lisa looks over the shorter girl and the simple gesture makes the latter to look at her behind and watch as a man in black suit and necktie gets off the driver's seat and holds the door open for the women to step in.
Lisa doesn't react to any of it. She only wants to get out of here and get a big mug of Choco milkshakes with a very sweet brownie. She doesn't want it to be healthy, the poor girl only wants to savor the sweet taste of chocolate in anything that is possible.
The last time Lisa has had any type of chocolates goes back to 5 years ago before she had gotten her first official modeling offer from a not so big brand. Lisa still does photoshoots for the same brand, after all, she has started from there.
"That's our ride. Come on, cutie." The stranger motions her hand coolly towards the open door of the car. She doesn't see the way Lisa's face heats up because of the simple word of compliment.
Before moving towards the white Maybach, the young model hesitates for a touchable moment. She glances at the woman, the man and the car one after another, trying to find anything suspicious. She finds none, so with a shrug, Lisa walks towards the vehicle. The worst they can do to her is to kill her, and honestly, these past couple of years, Lisa hasn't felt like she's been alive anyways, so what more can they do to her?
She knows she won't regret getting into the car with a feline brunette following after.
~~~
Lisa enters the lock code and the door to her apartment opens with a low tick, she's too tired that has to literally drag her legs to her bedroom down the hallway. It's all dark in her flat, but Lisa doesn't even bother to turn a lamp on. She just keeps on her track based on her place map she has in her muscle memory. She's not even halfway through her hallway when a sudden angry voice startles her to death.
"Where the hell have you been?!"
Lisa turns her head towards a specific spot in her living room, still as dark as Sauron's heart. She can't see anything, but hearing the voice, she knows it belongs to her brother. She stops moving, not getting closer to him, nor running away. All she does is staring blankly at the darkness.
"You have any freaking idea what time it is, Lisa?!" His voice gets raspier and Lisa senses his movements on the couch. She stands still until his silhouette is right in front of her, where she can make out the lines with the deem light of moon coming in through her curtained windows. "Fucking answer me!"
"I'm tired, Ten. Just leave me alone."
She's having a hard time seeing her older brother, but it's enough to see the slight angry shiver that runs through his body. Lisa knows she's been reckless tonight, but that doesn't mean she regrets anything.
"I was worried sick, Lisa!"
"Okay, sorry." She answers, but from her tone is obvious Lisa isn't sorry at all.
The intense glare on her body is gone once he turns and runs his fingers in his dark hair, an act to ease the tension off his being. He takes a few steps away from Lisa.
"I had to call everyone and everywhere! I had to check if you're still alive or not! And I had to do it without mama and papa suspecting anything! How can you be so irresponsible?!" He roars. Lisa hates the fact that she's again back to her reality, where people want and ask certain things from her, and she has to fulfill them all.
"So, it is all about you then." She growls, her teeth gritting on each other as her jaw muscles clench hard. "I'm old enough to take care of myself."
Before the girl has time to turn around, her arm is pulled by her brother, making her to stay rooted on her spot by force.
"You're my responsibility!" Ten snarls loudly. Lisa flinches on her spot.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" Lisa screeches so loud that her throat starts to burn with pain and tears form in her big golden eyes.
"What the fuck, Lisa?"
Lisa pulls harshly onto her hair, frustration rising in her body as she thinks about the day she has just spend, barely alive from the pain.
"You don't understand! Okay? You just don't understand! I lost my Leo. I lost him! Let me... f-fucking die in peace." She takes a harsh, shaky breath and looks at him again. "Let me be alone." This time her voice is more broken than it was before, less defensive than before, tears start to fall from her eyes, running down her cheeks as she is once again reminded of the eternal absence of her kitten.
And then Lisa storms away from Ten, slamming her door shut and locking it fast so her peace wouldn't get interrupted. She doesn't bother to turn the lights on, or change into her pajamas, just slumps her body on her comfortable double sized bed and sighs as her chest touches the mattress. Even if her bed is so comfy, and all the used materials are one high qualities, Lisa doesn't feel as home as she was when the stranger hugged her this afternoon. Not as free as she felt when the girl took her inside a not so famous café to give her chocolate.
She sniffs her bed, and right after, she knows she shouldn't have done that. Leo's smell fills her nostrils up to her brain, and makes the girl shiver in her bed, new set of tears dumping her already wrecked face and she doesn't acknowledge them at all. She just wants her kitten back and the smell in her room is no help.
"He's in a better place now."
She can hear the girl's voice telling it to her, her candy voice coating her bitter grief in a very affecting way. She has a vision of her plump, red lips moving softly as she was telling her sweet nothings.
Why didn't she ask for her name? Lisa feels double as lost, thinking that she might not see the only one who could make her heart jump in a good way for the first time. All she sees in the dark is her sharp feline eyes burning into the cold wall she has made around herself and giving her the warmth she didn't know she needed.
Now, she probably has lost those warm chocolates forever.
She takes a deep breath in before allowing herself to break once again.
~~~
"I'm so sorry, Lisa." Chaeyoung scoots closer to her, resting both her slender arms on Lisa's sides. The Thai sighs at the touch. Even her best friend's embrace doesn't feel the same way as that woman's. She feels bad for comparing them to each other but cannot help it in the end. "I should've been there for you. I know how much Leo meant to you."
"It's..." Lisa clears her throat, her voice is hoarse due to not talking for a while. "It's fine, Chaeng."
"You okay?" the taller blonde asks, almond eyes widening with concern. Lisa doesn't need pity, but what can she do when her situation is pityful?
"I will be." She assures her, trying to give her a ghost of smile, which is failed miserably. Leo had been there from the beginning; she was too attached to him like a mother to her son.
"You should go home rest."
"I'm just here to... reschedule things." Lisa shakes her head. "I'll leave after."
"Where's Ten?"
Lisa nods towards the closed door of their CEO office, the place they forbid her to step in saying they had 'confidential things to discuss about'. It even gives some off vibes to her. "Inside, talking to Mrs. Han."
From the way Chaeyoung is touching her, to the way the girl takes her breath in, uncertain and a bit sharp, Lisa knows she wants to say something but can't bring herself to, so she makes it easy for her. "Say what you want to say, Chae."
Still not so sure, Chaeyoung pull away from the embrace and sucks her lips in before talking. "Ten said something about... about you acting strange these days."
"I just lost my cat, Chaeyoung. It has only been 2 days." Lisa coldly answers, her eyes narrowing somewhere far from Chaeyoung's seat next to her.
"That's not just it, is it? He said you're looking for someone."
Lisa can't stop the tsk noise coming out of her mouth as she scowls and clenches her hands into tight fists. How did he manage to notice it? Does he sneak in her house at nights and try to decode her secrets? Because Lisa is sure as hell that she hasn't told anyone about it, especially not Ten. But then, looking into her best friend's concerned eyes, she can't help but spill it all out.
"I met someone,... the other day." She takes a deep break as pink coats her cheeks. "I-... We spend the whole night together, and I can't find her."
"Really?" Chaeyoung asks, a faint frown on her eyebrows. "What's her name?"
Lisa looks down on her fidgeting fingers, shaking her head with disappointment she talks. "I don't know, didn't ask."
"You-... Why?" Chaeyoung shoots her a confused look, the one that makes Lisa feel stupider than she already feels. And even dumber when she can't give her a proper answer, she can't just shrug and say, 'because we got too caught up in the moment that I didn't think of what will happen next', which is actually the truth.
When the silence grows uncomfortable, it's Chaeyoung who breaks it once again. "So, tell me what'd you do together?"
And that, Lisa has answers for, because it had been so long since the last time she felt this good in her life. She starts talking with a visible glitter in her eyes that tells Chaeyoung how much of fun she had with only one night with a stranger who just agreed to give her chocolate. Even Lisa herself doesn't know why she's so damn affected by such a simple gesture. She ends up telling Chaeyoung everything that had happened that day.
"So... you cried when sipped from your milkshake?" Chaeyoung asks once Lisa is done, trying to stifle her laughter hardly as she says the words of disbelief. It makes Lisa more embarrassed than she was when saying it. The Aussie blonde gives her a pat on the back with a sly smirk. "Way to embarrass yourself, Lisayah."
"Chae! You know about my diet!" Lisa whines out. Of course! Chaeyoung knows, she's been there all the way here. She's seen what Lisa had gone through to pose in front of camera for her first official photoshoot as a model 5 years ago. And not eating chocolate isn't even the worst part. Lisa sighs and looks down at her fingers once again, locking them together, maybe unwittingly trying to find the warmth she has only found in the hands of a total stranger. "And she was totally understanding about it, even thought it was cute or something."
Chaeyoung giggles, the type of giggle that people show when their best friend rambles about someone, and they want to link the dots and make them a couple. She playfully nudges the Thai with her elbow and leans her body on her, still having her smirk even if she's completely aware of the fact that Lisa has simply lost her chance to get the woman she's talking since they don't even have a first name from the said woman.
Lisa feels slightly better, she doesn't know and can't decide if it's because of her talking to Chaeyoung about something random like the way they are used to, or that the talking is about someone who has haunted her dreams.
"Now what are you going to do about it?" Chaeyoung asks, one eyebrow up like challenging Lisa to do something and summon the lady in front of them already. "Spreading her face details in the city in hope of someone knowing your woman?"
Lisa sighs, maybe it's not her first priority right now, but she knows she really wants this woman to be before her once again, to laugh the way she did, her teeth displaying just as her gums, to hear her voice dancing in her eardrums. It's just not too important right now, because at the very moment, her brother/manager is talking with her boss about her future plans, and that's probably more important than just a beautiful woman.
"I don't know, probably just waiting for the-..." All her voice chokes down in her throat once her wandering eyes fall on a group of people walking straight towards them. And before them, a woman in black coat walking like the ground underneath her steps is her territory. Just like a lioness showing off her powers to her preys. She's wearing a light make up and it helps softening her features but damn how icy a face can be! She's wearing totally different clothes from the other day at the vet, she looks more elegant and bossier, but Lisa is sure as her own existence that she's the same woman. It's impossible for her to stop her jaw from dropping on the ground. She just hardly utters the last word she was about to say before the goddess herself walking inside the same hallway that she is.
"...Destiny." She barely manages to voice out the last word.
~~~
This is how their story begins...