Crossing Into Forever

Chapter 34

Lunch had come and gone and as she walked to her next class, it dawned on her that the doctor hadn't been around to check on them like he usually did. As a matter of fact, she had not seen him in the cafeteria or at all the entire morning. She didn't know what to think of this. Was he mad at her? Did she hurt his feelings? Was he capable of having his feelings hurt? She wasn't sure. What if she never saw him again? What if he left the school? She was surprised at her reaction to her own questions. The thought of never seeing him again made her feel surprisingly...downhearted. Maybe it wasn't the thought of not seeing him, but more the thought of him not being around. She had to face it. He had been instrumental in keeping her safe. If he were not at the school, did that mean she would be in danger? But with that, if she were in danger anyway, why couldn't she be back at the convent while she was in danger? She contemplated this and decided that would be bad, because that may put the others at the convent in danger as well. What if she really had hurt his feelings. Could she really live with herself for being so mean to a man that literally saved her life? Why did he have to seem so ominous? He scared her and it was hard being friendly and even nice to someone that scared the jeebies out of you. She wished she could apologize to him now. She knew she needed to for the things she said, but she never had a chance. She decided if she could apologize, she wouldn't have a guilty conscious and then not seeing him again would be ok. Still, there was that same nagging feeling that had come over her yesterday when he said he had to tolerate her. She never thought of him feeling put out by her. She knew he wasn't crazy about her, but she just realized, her being here was a big inconvenience for him. She didn't want to be an inconvenience for anyone! She never asked him to help her or even to watch out for her. She could take care of herself! He could come back to the school because she would figure out a way to get back home, even if it meant risking her life! Now, unconsciously, she had a scowl on her face and was almost stomping, for her last few steps before she got into the classroom. She was so angry as she walked in and took her seat. She heard Christopher behind her, and she stiffened up a little. She had not had any more problems out of him, because Dr Moustakas, had always watched to make sure he was leaving her alone. She had forgotten how nice it was not to have to worry about Christopher in this class. There were other classes that he still bugged her from time-to-time in. Then she also remembered how one of her friends had suggested that he had said something to Professor Addison, and that was the reason he didn't harass her anymore. She didn't know if that was true, but what if it was. What if the professor started messing with her again? She never wanted him to think she didn't appreciate all he had done for her. He was so forbidding though, she didn't know how to thank him. She was too afraid of him to walk up to him and start talking. Well, it is too late now. What was done was done. She would have to fend for herself. She may as well learn to do that in the real world anyway. If she wasn't going to stay at the convent forever, she couldn't expect everyone else to take care of her. Maybe this was best. She decided it was. Her concerns mounted when she realized they were having a substitute for their class this day. Was he really gone? She had a pang of something in her heart. She felt sad, but why. She should be celebrating. She was just going to have to be careful from here on out and be on guard for people like Christopher and Professor Addington.