LAURA FEELS AS THOUGH each breath she wheezes only brings her closer to her last. They carry needles into her throat as she glares at Regulus. "Are you trying to kill me?"
Regulus' grey eyes narrow indignantly. "It's not my fault I surpass you in every aspect." He jabs at Laura's abdomen and she swats his hand away with an aggravated huff.
"That's daft— no, actually, you're daft. It's just seeping into everything you say," Laura bites back. "Dumbarse. You may be smart academically, but you have the emotional capacity of a dementor with dementia."
Regulus shoots Laura an unimpressed glare. "Dementors can't get dementia."
"Exactly, git."
Regulus' hand goes to hit Laura square on the jaw and she makes a surprised sound as she moves to duck, but Regulus only ends up hitting Laura's nose instead. She lets out a cry of pain. "Bloody hell! I knew you were trying to murder me!"
Regulus' mouth draws into an annoyed line. "React quicker next time, Lovegood." He eyes Laura's nose. "You're bleeding."
"No shite, Merlin. Weren't you just bragging about how smart you are?" She seethes, bringing a hand to her nose as tears sting her eyes. "Go away. I don't want to look at you anymore."
"Black! What did you do to the poor girl?!" Petrov barks, robes swishing behind her as she stomps up to the two.
Laura shoots Regulus an accusing glower. "He punched me in the nose."
Regulus rolls his eyes. "Professor, she's exaggerating—"
"Take Lovegood to the infirmary, Black. I don't want her bleeding all over my classroom." Petrov interrupts, not sparing Laura anything but a slightly pitying glance.
Regulus shoots Laura a glare. "Yes, professor."
Laura scowls and doesn't wait for Regulus as she storms out of the classroom, pulling off her robes and using them to stop the blood from getting everywhere. She can hear Regulus fall into stride with her. "This is all your fault," She grumbles.
Regulus' face twists. "Your outfit is abhorrent."
"Why, because Queen is a muggle band?" Laura gripes.
"No, because you look like a slag."
Laura pulls the robes away from her face to look down. Her shirt, which had previously been tucked in, now hangs just below the hem of her skirt, making it appear as though the skirt isn't there and she's only in her undergarments.
Her head darts up to shoot Regulus a scathing look. "My clothes are none of your concern."
Regulus reaches out and pushes the robes back into Laura's face, causing her to let out a muffled groan, a sharp pain stinging at her nose again. "Stop letting the blood flow freely," He snaps. "It's making me nauseous."
Laura grins wickedly. "Good."
They reach the infirmary and Laura rolls her eyes when Regulus walks in with her. "She needs liquefied Thrend root and inscensed Yale leaves for pain relief," Regulus says to one of the nurses, ignoring Laura as she removes the robes from her face to shove one of the cookies from the desk into her mouth. She chews with a content sigh.
Regulus doesn't acknowledge her until the nurse is back. "Sit in the chair, Lovegood."
Laura glares at him defiantly. "No."
The nurse pats Laura on the shoulder. "You should sit down, dear. Yale leaves can have some dizzying side effects sometimes."
Laura groans and sits down with a frustrated frown, mumbling an incoherent curse. If it weren't for Black, she wouldn't even be in this situation. How come he still gets to boss her around, like she's a petulant child in need of reprimand? He was the one who punched her!
Laura's entire body seems to flinch when a burning leaf is suddenly in front of her face, the fire sending a flash of panic jolting through her spine.
Regulus leers down at her. "Afraid of a bit of fire, Lovegood?" His lips quirk and Laura hates how her eyes are momentarily drawn to the movement.
"I'm quite sure burning my nose off won't be of any help, Black. Get the fucking leaf away from me," Laura seethes. She goes to push his arm away, but Regulus is too quick. He catches her hand and raises an eyebrow.
"That's no way to treat someone giving up their precious time to help you, now is it, Lovegood?" Regulus tuts. When she doesn't answer, he presses Laura's hand into her lap and giving it a mocking pat. "Be a good girl and breathe in the smoke."
Laura grits her teeth to keep herself from swearing in front of the nurse again and inhales. Regulus' smirk furthers into a grin. "There now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He waits a moment before taking the leaf away from Laura and blows it out. Laura lets out a cough when the smoke hits her face again, which seems to amuse Regulus. "At least we know you won't die of lung maladies. A cigarette would quite nearly send you into spasms."
The nurse chuckles and Laura bites back another curse— they seem to invade her mind more often when she's around Regulus, it seems. All the more reason to go back to Sirius.
Laura goes to stand from the chair, but her head spins. Regulus pushes her back down and releases an irritated breath that causes her eyelashes to flutter. She feels a bit too tired now to argue with him more.
The nurse, who Laura hadn't noticed had left, returns with a vile of pink liquid. Laura's eyes narrow as she watches the nurse give it to Regulus along with a spoon. "For healing the wound," The nurse explains, mouth lilting into a smile.
"I assume you're able to feed yourself, Lovegood?" Regulus queries, tilting his head in a way that aggravates Laura to no end. She snatches the vile from him and peels away the lid. She eyes the piece of cork briefly before hurling it at Regulus, who narrowly dodges it.
"Fucking prick," Laura mutters with a scowl. She'd wanted so badly to get him back for punching her, for defacing her in front of the Slytherins. She shoves a spoonful of honey-like liquid into her mouth, and her face begins to feel tingly and warm. She finishes the entire vile in no time, hiding her disappointment when she realizes there's no more.
The nurse takes the vile and spoon from Laura's hands and rushes off into one of the back rooms, shutting the door behind her. Now alone with Regulus, Laura feels awkward and slightly off-kilter.
"The potion seems to be affecting you more potently than I'd expected," Regulus remarks, his voice ringing in Laura's ears. She so desperately wishes she could be at her dorm right now, sipping on soup from Lily while listening to Marlene's latest excursions. She wishes things could be back to normal. She misses her friends.
Regulus fills the silence. "Your cheeks seem to be blemished as well. Are you feeling well?" There's a small, minuscule lace of concern to his otherwise unbothered tone. He waits for her answer expectantly.
Seeing no way out of speaking to him, Laura's eyes dart toward Regulus in irritation. "Yes, I'm well. I wasn't aware a bloody nose required an interrogation, Black."
Regulus seems unconvinced. "Your hands are trembling."
Traitorous bastards. "I'm just tired."
"You're free to go now!" The nurse chirps, handing Laura another cookie. Laura shoves it into her mouth with a satisfied moan. Her eyes catch Regulus', which look mortifyingly amused— his brow cocked. Laura glares at him and ignores the dizzying in her head as she storms from the room with a scowl.
Regulus meets her stride easily. "Where are you going?"
"Anywhere that you aren't," Laura snaps.
Regulus grabs Laura's arm, and she winces as he spins her around, eyes blazing. "I have tried being amiable, Lovegood. I let you fucking stay with my friends, eat my house's food, attend my classes, and yet you still decide to be an incorrigible brat," He hisses. "You speak of how horrible I am, how prejudiced my views are, and yet your eyes are so clouded that you won't look past the views your 'friends' have hammered into you and you refuse to see things like they truly are. You are entirely like my brother, if not the perfect little clone of him."
He pushes Laura's arm away distastefully. A wave of hot anger hits Laura, eager to be released toward Regulus. "So that's why you let me stay with the Slytherins? So you could feel better about yourself, to satiate whatever crude guilt is stirring within you? If being like Sirius means I don't have to be like you, then I'm fine with it. I wish I had fucking stayed away from you and your Merlin-forsaken house and just made up with Sirius, because then, maybe then I wouldn't have trusted a fucking purist who only thinks about himself. You're the reason— You're the fucking reason I got into an argument with Sirius in the first place! I fucking loathe— no, I despise you Black. You will never change."
"Are you quite done yet?"
Laura's chest heaves as she glares up at Regulus, and suddenly she wants to cry. Sirius will never take her back. She'll never be forgiven. James probably won't let her back to the Potters' house over break anymore. She's alone. All alone. She has no friends, no sense of belonging anymore.
Laura turns away from Regulus, and tears sting her eyes yet again. She storms into an empty classroom and slams the door behind her, anger and sadness weighing down on her chest with so much force that she struggles to breathe.
How could she be so stupid?
She should have just rejected Slughorn's request in the first place. It's her fault, no matter how she wishes she could pin all the blame on Regulus.
She'll probably never get to speak with Remus again either. There will be no waking up to his warmth, no finding comfort in those beautiful eyes of his. Laura's never been on the receiving end of his cold shoulder before, and the thought of him simply just ignoring her pains her heart unbearably.
"You're crying."
Regulus states it plainly, ignorant to how Laura startles at the sound of his voice. She gathers herself enough to scowl at him. "And you've never? I highly doubt that. You, Regulus Black, are perhaps the most emotional person I have ever met— you mask and suppress your sadness with a bitter glare and an irrevocable frown. Then you project your own distaste and disappointment in yourself onto other people when they have the same flaws that you do." She glares at him, holding his gaze for longer than she's comfortable with as he mulls over her words in silence.
Regulus doesn't break eye contact with Laura as he shuts the door behind him and strolls into the room, though he stays far enough away from Laura that she doesn't feel the need to run off again. "I do not cry. As for suppression, I doubt me having the common sense to not throw a fit in an empty classroom, drowning in my sorrows, counts in that regard. You're like a crup going off into a forest to die alone as if that helps you process your temper tantrums any better."
Laura scoffs. "You can't just twist the subject toward me. You know damn well that you've cried before. Sirius told me—"
"Don't." Regulus interrupts, voice frigid with warning. "Do not finish that sentence. You do not get to just throw his words in my face, just because you're upset. I've chosen to excuse your lack of rationale and poor restraint due to your— emotional state. That does not mean you are allowed to take your pitiful idea of rage out on me."
"That's quite bold, given you're the reason I'm angry," Laura responds, voice still hoarse from the medicine wearying her and the feeling pitted in her stomach, wrenching it as though it wants to punish her. "Did you know Sirius used to talk about you? He used to brag about his little brother, telling me how proud he was of you."
Regulus' expression remains unchanged, yet again a mask of dissociation. Laura continues. "I used to feel so jealous. I haven't even seen my siblings in over four years, but somehow you look at your brother daily, live in the same vicinity that he does, and yet you refuse to acknowledge him. He used to talk my ear off about you and your perfect marks on your O.W.L.s as if I wanted to hear about yet another family better than mine." Her voice cracks, but she goes on.
"He was like a sibling to me. He used to tuck me in over break when we'd stay at the Potters', and I got to listen to James talk about their pranks every night. I got to feel like I belonged, but now I doubt I'm even welcome there anymore. Remus was my best friend, and now I have to lose him too." Laura wishes that Regulus would do something, say something, and feel some semblance of guilt or regret for acting so meanly toward her. She wants him to hurt like she does, and yet he just fucking stands there. "And all of that is your fault. If you hadn't apparated me to Hogsmeade, if you hadn't made me miss D.A.D.A., I doubt Sirius would have been looking for me. You cost me the only belonging I had left."
Regulus' mouth twitches. "You put so much trust into people that you forget yourself, Lovegood. The only person one can rely on is themself. You will not survive in this world if the only thing that gives you purpose is pleasing others."
Regulus' lack of anger is causing dissonance to flurry in Laura's head. She wants him to lash out, to show some sort of rage, but he just looks at her with a level, calm gaze. It makes her want to be calm as well, but then she'd lose her dignity, which is the one thing she's kept intact.
Regulus takes a step toward Laura, though one step with his legs is equivalent to three of hers. "You should be the only one who matters in your eyes. Let go of the opinions of others." Another step. "You weren't made for being a side character in the plot of my brother's life." Another step. "You were made for more." Regulus takes one more step toward Laura, close enough that she can smell his cologne. "Each person is made to be extraordinary, but the only way you will succeed is if you just let go. Let go, Laura."
Laura's gaze is level with Regulus' chest as she refuses to look at him. He reaches down to bring her chin up. "I will not pretend to like you, Lovegood. I find you to be an utterly contemptible, loathsome little thing, which makes it all the more irritating to watch you go and make yourself even more incorrigible fool of yourself than you already are."
His eyes are hypnotizing. Grey swirls within their depths, so beautiful and yet haunting all the same. "But I will also admit that I have been... slightly less than amiable toward you than you deserve." Regulus' jaw is clenched, as if this strains him to say.
Laura looks equally uncomfortable. "Thank you."
Regulus' eyes narrow. "It wasn't a compliment. It was an apology."
Laura's lips purse. "I was thanking you for apologizing."
Regulus lets go of Laura's chin and wipes his hand off on his robes. "Then don't. I find it rather disturbing."
Laura's eyes widen incredulously. "Did you just wipe your hand off? After apologizing for being an arsehole?"
"Yes." Regulus quips. "I wasn't aware an apology meant I had to allow my hand to procure a disease."
Laura rolls her eyes and pushes away from Regulus, heading straight for the door. The air cracks behind her and she doesn't need to turn around to know he's gone. She enters the hallway and shuts the door behind her, along with their conversation which Regulus has hopefully already forgotten as she is trying to as well.
Unfortunately, the dreadful feeling in her chest still won't escape her.
author's note:
a bit of a longer chapter since for my loves since i'll be going on a semi-hiatus <3
it sucks, but maybe now i can finally transition them into the friend zone T-T
♡, charlie.