I laid in a cold room in my warm bed with the tv light just showing on my face, but the screen was blank. I laid in bed wondering why I was never good enough or evened loved as my heart was to damaged to even be loved.
I always wanted to be the girl who gets the guy and be high school sweethearts, get married and have a dozen kids. I KNOWW!
Sounds Crazy RIGHT! But some dreams are more realer than others, I just wished mine became true.
Hi, i don't believe we've officially met I'm Kayla, and this is my never ending love story only except, the love ended.
"January 11, 2022" ughhh don't make me even relive that day. I sat in my room in the dark just staring at the ceiling as I was feeling so depressed I just wanted to stuff my face full of spring rolls and die. I then sat up on the edge of my bed thinking how could I let myself just disconnect from the world, I wanted to get back out there and see was there even something for me in this world.
So I got on one of the most popular dating apps in the world, in my opinion I don't even know WHY it's considered a "dating app" all people use it for is to find sneaky links (&) hookups. But instead I used it for trying to find love, I just wanted to find someone who would get me and understand me as a person.
As I swiped my life away on the app I patiently went on tik tok until I got a match.
*Ding* My phone buzzed as I had just gotten a notification that I've got a match. I couldn't believe that someone had matched with me I was so excited.
As I checked the app to see who could have possibly matched with me I seen a message from a guy who had the most beautiful smile I have ever seen, he was just so handsome to me I just couldn't stop looking at his picture. I opened the message and it read "hey beautiful, I have a question" and I quickly responded but his replies were always a little late.
But I never cared because he always texted me back. As we texted on the app we got to know each-other a little more, but soon texting turned into FaceTime.
The first time we FaceTimed eachother was weird for me because I was so shy I didn't know what to say.
I asked for his name and he said his name was Ricky, I said, "I'm Kayla". Then it got quiet as we sat on FaceTime just in silence, I couldn't help but feel like I noticed him from somewhere." you look familiar I feel like I know you from somewhere" I said to him, "same I just don't know where from" he said. I just couldn't stop thinking of where I knew him from so I just got on instagram and started watching other peoples stories. IT THEN HIT ME!! I had this friend named Megan who I use to be close with in school, she even saved me a couple of times from situations I could have gotten in trouble FOR!!.
She had a boyfriend who she use to always talk about and he looked EXACTLYY like the guy I was talking Too so I asked him "do you know a girl named Megan", "MEGAN!! which he replied Yeah why ?".
"OH ! I use to go to school with her, we use to be friends" I said. He then replied "oh what happened" I told him I didn't want to get to into the details.
Knowing the only reason I didn't want to get into the details were because me and her had recently rekindled things and she felt as if I was her little sister.
Inside my mind I was thinking of a way to ask Megan if she still talk to Ricky because I was talking to him now and I didn't know how to tell her or explain it to her. The situation was laying on my chest heavy. As I thought of ways to possibly ask her if them two were still a thing.
I just wanted to tell someone and get some advice, I just didn't know who I should tell or if I should tell anyone until I figure out what I was going to do.
I sat in my room thinking about it all day. I felt so sad because how could something like this happen??, "was I the bad person in all of this", wondered in the back of my mind.
I just couldn't take my mind off the situation, everytime I talked to him she was all I could think about. It just didn't feel right, I felt so bad because she was like a sister to me and it had felt like I had betrayed her.
I then decided I was going to ask Leah my bestfriend for advice because she gives the best advice she can. I told her the situation and the position I was stuck in and she told me to just be honest and tell her because it was the right thing to do.
I then said she was right but I need time to break the news to her. After the conversation with my bestfriend I still felt a little uneasy and unsure about the whole situation.
And I felt as if I just needed more than one persons opinion to help me figure out how to tell her.
I wanted to ask my friend Ciara for advice because we both are her friends and she might know how I can tell her. I texted Ciara and said "I'm messing with this guy off of this dating app and he use to talk to our friend, Megan and I don't know if I should tell her me and him are talking". She then replied with "you should tell her it's not right, I'm going to give you until later to tell her or I will".
I had just got so sad when she said that because I just wanted advice and I felt that the last part wasn't necessary. I then gathered up the courage to tell Megan the truth I knew it wasn't going to be easy but i felt it had to be done.