Life is a bed of roses!
The statement itself seems so deceiving. What would you assume by a bed of roses?
The soft alluring petals?
Or the painful pricking thorns?
Or may be life was a balance between the two of them! Life hurts you with the thorns and heals you with the touch of its soothing petals. But what kind of apology would be enough for the healing of a child who was thrown into the abyss of darkness which didn't only behold the sharpest thorns but also had corroded the soft petals.
Arnav leaned onto the wall behind the bed, closing his eyes as the thoughts raced in his mind. His heart was still palpitating. He was in half lying position, holding Ayaansh, who had slept with his whole weight on Arnav. He could still feel the shivers in his brother's body. The physical pain could be seen, Arnav wondered about the emotional trauma the child had been enduring. The thought made him tighten his grip around his little brother.
There were wounds that would never show up on the body but were deeper and more hurtful than anything that bled!
Love and acceptance is the only healing Ayaansh needed. Arnav knew the words wouldn't be enough. Actions will be needed to reassure Ayaansh of his importance in their life.
After Aniket had entered his life, Arnav had learnt the underlying meaning of healing. Aniket always said he owed his life to him but the truth was Arnav owed his life to Aniket. He would have been lost in his own life if not for Aniket. His brother made him fight back with life. It was Aniket's innocent love that brought him back to the light.
"Tere paas kahan se aaya?"
"Bas aa gya, aap khao na."
Arnav glared at a little Aniket who stood stubborn. Aniket held Arnav's hand when he got up to leave.
"Aapne teen din se kuch nhi khaya, Bhaiya, please kha lo."
"Yeh tu khud kha le. Mai kha loonga apna."
"Mujhe pata hai woh log aapko khana nhi de rhe. Kahan se khaoge aap?"
Arnav looked away. He didnt want to say he was used to it. Aniket came closer. "Kha lijiye na, Bhaiya."
Arnav looked at him. He was tugging at his heartstrings by calling him Bhaiya. "Tumne khaya?"
Aniket nodded his head and handed him the torn pieces of bread he had carried with him. That was all he could manage. Arnav took them in his hands and forwarded the first piece to Aniket.
Aniket stopped him. "Maine kha liya. Aap kha lo."
"Kitna sa khana dete hai yeh log. Thoda aur kha le."
Aniket shook his head and bent Arnav's forwarded hands to his own mouth. "Aap khao pehle, phir mai khaunga."
Arnav's heart melted seeing those innocent eyes. He had the first bite and forwarded the next one to Aniket. Aniket had it.
After finishing up, Aniket pulled out a tube of ointment from his pocket and kept in Arnav's hands. Arnav looked at him questioningly.
"Aapke haatho par aur peeth par Jo belt ki chot hai uss par laga lena. Jaldi thik ho jayega." Aniket mumbled slowly.
Arnav averted hai gaze. It was of no use. He would end up getting fresh scars before the ointment healed the old ones. People say time healed everything. They were so wrong! Time just made you learn to survive with your scars. There was nothing like healing.
"Bhaiya?"
Arnav gulped and looked at him. "Tujhe kya meri chot thik ho na ho? Meri chinta karne ki zaroorat nhi hai."
Aniket gave him a sad smile. "Mujhe chinta karne ki zaroorat nhi hai par mujhe chinta ho rhi hai. Jaise aapko har baar mujhe bhookha dekh kar apna khana mere tiffin me daalne ki zarurat nhi hoti par aap dalte ho."
Arnav looked away.
Aniket's eyes filled up. "Aapki chot dekh kar mujhe bura lagta hai, Bhaiya, isliye fikar hoti hai. Pata nhi kyun bura lagta hai par lagta hai. Aap yeh le lo. It really works. Bina ointment lagaye bohot jalega."
Arnav looked up suddenly. "Tujhe kaise pata?"
Aniket's tears threatened to spill. He wiped his eyes and turned to leave. Arnav stopped him and pulled up his tshirt to see his back. Arnav gasped when he saw those marks. His eyes blazed. He knew for a fact that children working at mines were not subjected to abuse as he was. His fate was just crueler than others that he had ended up at Mittal's home. He felt furious when he saw the belt marks.
"They hit you?"
Aniket hugged him and cried. "Pehli baar tha, Bhaiya, isliye bohot dard hua. Sayad agli baar se Kam hoga."
Arnav gulped hearing the reply. The child had picked up from him that when they hit you so many times, it stops hurting after a certain point. But Arnav only said that as defence mechanism. He knew it hurt more and more with every blow on the already wounded body and soul.
"Kyun maara? Factory me toh kabhi nhi maarte na belt se?"
Aniket looked down.
"Bata na, chup kyun hai?"
Aniket didn't say anything. He was trying to steal the food for Arnav. He had tried saving some from his own but it was too less to satiate even one person. Arnav made sure to give him extra food from his own whenever he was hungry, he didn't want to see Arnav starving like that.
"Bata na, kya hua?"
"Bread lete dekh liya tha." Aniket mumbled.
Arnav was about to blast him off but stopped as the realisation hit him. He had taken the food for him. He looked at the boy refusing to make eye contact. He gently wrapped his arms around him. "Kyun Gaya tha chori karne?"
"Chori nhi ki maine." Aniket frowned. "Aapne kabse khaya nhi aur inta kaam kar rhe ho. Mujhe chinta ho rhi thi. Next time se mai dhyaan rakhunga."
"There will be no next time, Ani."
Aniket looked at him with his tear filled eyes.
Arnav nodded. "I promise they will never touch you again."
Aniket hugged him again. "Aap kuch mat karo, Bhaiya. They will hit you again. Mujhe ek baar maara toh mujhe itna dard hua, aapko toh jyada hota hoga na. Aap please kuch mat karo."
"Maine kaha na tujhse, meri fikr karne ki zaroorat nhi hai."
"Maine bhi kaha na, fikr karne ki zaroorat nhi hai par mujhe hoti hai." Aniket pulled back and held his hands in his own little ones. "Aapse pehle kisi ne meri bhookh nhi dekhi thi, kisi ne mujhe apne saath sulaya nhi tha, kisi ne kabhi mujhe rote waqt gale nhi lagaya tha. Aap Bhaiya ho na mere, aapko chot lagegi toh mujhe bhi dard hoga."
Arnav's eyes filled up to see the love shining in Aniket's eyes. He had called him Bhaiya. That made Aniket his younger brother. His family! But didn't his own family, his mother trade him off? If she couldn't love her own son, why would the boy love a stranger like him?
"Aap ho na mere Bhaiya?" Aniket looked at him.
Arnav gulped when he saw those eyes. They were so hopeful and that Arnav didn't have it in him to deny. He hugged him and blinked away his tears. "Tujhe kabhi dobara haath nhi lagayenge yeh log. Tere Bhaiya ka waada hai yeh!"
Arnav realised he was wrong when he thought there was nothing like healing. Healing is always there. You just have to open your heart to it. But he also knew that it wasn't the scar that hurt the most, it was the phase of healing itself. Healing was like your soul being stretched between two borders, unable to stay in the darkness, unable to reach out to the shining ray of light ahead.
He looked down at Ayaansh. His brother had a lot of answers to give but for now he needed love and assurances more. Arnav sighed when he heard the sound of gates. He gently shifted Ayaansh to bed and started to get up.
Ayaansh frowned in sleep when he felt the warmth fading and pulled back Arnav by his hands, shifting his head in his lap. Arnav caressed his head. Ayaansh opened his eyes groggily and looked at him. "Bhaiya?"
"So ja, bacha, I'll be right back."
Ayaansh didn't leave his hands.
Bending down, Arnav pressed a kiss on his forehead. "I'll never leave you, bacha. Sleep."
"Time kya ho rha hai, Aniket?"
Aniket bit his lower lip. He was so gone. He turned around and looked at Arnav sheepishly. "Aapko jaga diya, Bhaiya?"
Arnav sighed and walked to the kitchen. "Ja fresh hokar aaja."
Aniket frowned. Arnav should have blasted him off. He saw Arnav taking out vegetables to dice and stopped him. "Kya yaar, Bhaiya, aadhi raat me uthkar aise khaana banane ki zarurat nhi hai. Jao so jao vapas aap."
Arnav stared at him. "Aur mujhe nhi pata tha mere office me aadhi raat tak kaam karne ki zaroorat hai?"
Aniket looked away. He had been trying to do as much as possible to make sure Arnav can relax a while before and after his engagement. The work wasn't necessarily important but Arnav hated to put work on hold.
"Ja, fresh hokar aa jaldi."
"Bhaiya, yaar aap—" Aniket stopped as he noticed Arnav. He didn't look like being woken up just then. "Aap soye hi nhi the na?"
He asked.
Arnav freed his hand and started dicing vegetables. Aniket felt like an idiot. He should have known Arnav wouldn't sleep.
"Maine kitni baar wait karne se mana kiya, Bhaiya. Kyun jagte ho aap aise puri raat? Tabiyat bigad jayegi na toh—"
"Teri nhi bigdegi?" Arnav looked at him. "Court ke kaam me samajh aata hai, Ani, par yeh office me aadhi raat tak kaam karna kab se shuru Kiya tune?"
Aniket looked down meekly.
Arnav sighed and turned away. Aniket could feel something was wrong. He hugged Arnav from behind. "Sorry, Bhaiya, aage se time pe aa jaunga. Bas aap aise jaga mat karo mere liye."
Arnav didn't reply.
Aniket deepened the hug. "Gussa mat ho jao aap please. Sach me kaam tha, Bhaiya, isliye late ho gya."
Arnav sighed and turned in his embrace, hugging him back. "Ab khana banane dega?"
Aniket pulled back. "Dinner hoga na, Bhaiya, mai kha loonga. Aap kyun—" He trailed off when Arnav's stare turned into glare.
Arnav went back to cook while Aniket rushed up to freshen up. When Aniket walked down after freshening up, he saw Arnav taking out the food in plate for him. He walked up to Arnav.
Arnav saw him coming and sat down on the chair. Aniket came and sat in front of him. Arnav served him food and forwarded the plate. Aniket didn't reach for it.
Arnav sighed taking a morsel in his hands and brought it to Aniket's lips. "Muh khol."
Aniket stopped him. "Aapne khaya?"
"Tu kha, mai kha loonga."
Aniket shook his head and bent Arnav's forwarded hand towards his own mouth. "Aap khao pehle, phir mai khaunga."
Arnav's heart melted seeing those eyes looking at him with the same love. He had the first bite and forwarded the next one to Aniket. Aniket had it.
After feeding rest of the meal to Aniket, Arnav got off the chair but Aniket pulled him back to sit by holding his hands. "Kya baat hai, Bhaiya? Kyun itne pareshan ho aap?"
"Jake soja, Ani, kal subah baat karte hai."
"Aapko pata hai na mai nhi jaunga. Bata do isse acha sidhe sidhe."
Arnav sighed. He knew Aniket wouldn't let go. He told him everything, not leaving out a single detail. Aniket's eyes burned with fury. "Yeh kaise parents hote hai, Bhaiya? How can they do this to him? He's only sixteen. Aise kaise uski marzi ke khilaf... Konsi maa ko apne bache ke aansoo dikhayi nhi dete aur phir...."
"Woh maa jisne apne das saal ke bache ko bechne ke baad kabhi mud ke bhi nhi dekha."
Arnav's voice didn't have any sarcasm, hate or even anger. It was a emotionless statement, more of a fact.
Aniket stilled. He hadn't been thinking when he spoke. He immediately held Arnav's hands. "Sorry, Bhaiya."
Arnav shook his head. "We need to think of Ayaansh right now."
Aniket nodded. "There's nothing to think, Bhaiya. He's our brother and we'll treat him as such. No matter how he has been treated in the past, we will make sure to love him enough to overcome those."
"He still hasn't accepted us completely, Ani. I haven't even told him anything about myself. I don't know if I—"
Aniket got off the chair and kneeled down in front of Arnav, still holding his hands. "Jab aapne humara haath thama tha, kya hume ek dusre ke baare kuch bhi pata tha, Bhaiya? Humare dard ne hi humare rishte ki shuruaat ki na. Ayaansh bhi aaj ussi dard se guzar rha hai, Bhaiya. Usse bhi sirf aapke pyaar ki zarurat hai. Ek din woh khud kahega aapko he's grateful to have you. Just like we are!"
Arnav smiled softly and caressed his face. "Tu itna bada kab ho gya, Ani?"
"Aapse toh chhota hi rahunga na humesha?"
"Ayu!"
Ayaansh scrunched up his nose as he heard the soft whisper and felt someone running fingers in his hair. He frowned and turned his head into the pillow, not ready to open his eyes. For anyone trying to wake him up, the gesture for sure was to put him back to sleep.
Felling warmth right next to him, he tried to reach out and grab the source but felt the sunrays entering his eyes making him clench his eyes shut. Arnav sat beside him and stayed for a while, continuing to stroke his hairs making him smile contently.
Ayaansh opened his eyes hazily to have a look at the person who he was cuddling up to. His sleep flew away as he saw Arnav. He was finding himself pressed to Arnav in Arnav's room for third morning in row. He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes.
"Good morning, Bacha!"
Ayaansh gave him a slight smile. "Good morning, Bhaiya."
"Chal uth, we've to go somewhere." Arnav smiled at him.
Ayaansh's face went pale. He had found himself standing outside a boarding school the last time he had heard these words.
Arnav noticed the change and quickly held his hands. "Mai Aisa kuch nhi karunga jisme teri marzi shaamil na ho, Ayu."
Ayaansh nodded slightly while looking down.
"I know tere liye yeh sab mushkil hai par aaj nhi toh kal tujhe yeh samajh aayega ki humme se koi bhi kabhi tujhe hurt nhi karega. May be sometimes, unintentionally we will end up hurting each other but neither of us will ever leave you to deal with the hurt alone, Ayu. That's what we do in a family. I know you can't give me your trust right now, but give me a chance, please?"
Ayaansh's eyes filled up. Arnav had his trust. He knew his brother will never hurt him. His brother had a lot of love to give. Aniket and Aryan were proof enough. Trust wasn't the issue, his fear was. He didn't know how to speak it out.
Arnav cupped his face. "Ek baar apne bhai pe bharose kar, bacha, mai—"
Ayaansh shook his head with tears in his eyes.
Arnav sighed. "Thik hai, nhi bol raha mai abhi kuch but this doesn't end here, Ayu. We will talk later. Abhi ja taiyaar ho ja."
Ayaansh rushed out.
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A/n
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Love,
Muskan