0 9
r u b a t o
[It.] : Steal; as in steal time; speeding up and slowing down for expressive purposes.
ON MY SIXTH meeting with Kaden, I rejected Parker and Nolan's offers to drive me to the Brettons' beach house. Instead, I made the journey myself, driving with the windows down and enjoying the view along the way. It was a lovely day but the pressing reminder that this was the second to last time I'd ever see Kaden dampened my mood.
Security ushered me in and I was greeted by Edwin at the door, who told me that Adelaide was out once again. It was just as well because I didn't wish to be reminded of the fact that I hadn't much time left.
When I knocked on Kaden's door, he didn't answer and a quick peek into the room told me that he was probably in the shower, if the closed door to the bathroom was any indication.
"You're not going in?" Edwin seemed puzzled when I headed out of Kaden's room. He was standing a little way down the stairs, giving instructions to one of the other housekeepers.
I went over to him, leaning against the banisters. "Kaden's in the shower," I explained, when the housekeeper had left and it was just Edwin and me. "Will you do me a favour?"
He smiled in amusement. "It depends on what you're asking."
"I want to bring Kaden out to the beach today," he began to frown and I hastily continued. "I know, Mrs Bretton doesn't allow it. But I'll take full responsibility for it. You said so yourself – Kaden's been cooped up in the room for days and he's getting restless. I just want to do something for him."
Edwin seemed to hesitate for a few seconds. And then he sighed. "I will...pretend I didn't see it," he acceded at last. "I will make sure the rest of the staff doesn't say a word about it either."
I smiled widely. "Thanks Edwin, you're the best."
It was funny – I hadn't been here for long and yet I trusted Edwin more than I trusted most people. In certain ways, he reminded me a lot of my Dad; it was the same familiar paternal vibe all round. He was a beacon of warmth in this isolated household and I couldn't help but wonder what he was still doing here, when he could easily be retired and enjoying life at home.
"I've been taking care of young Mr Bretton for a long time now and he's almost like a son to me," he replied, when I voiced my thoughts aloud. "I've been in this family long enough that I can leave whenever I want, but I have no intention to – at least, until I know that they no longer require my services."
Something in his words made my heart ache. "And if they no longer do?" I asked, after a moment's pause. The words seemed so hard to say. "If, one day, you see Kaden no longer needing you – would you leave?"
"I would," he responded in a heartbeat. He seemed almost indifferent, a little wistful but nothing more, nothing less. "If Mr Bretton found a better person for this job and no longer wanted me to work for him, I would leave."
Leaving seemed like such an easy thing to say, but to do it was a different thing altogether. I had only been here six times but I already knew I'd miss Edwin and Michelle and, most of all, Kaden.
A part of me wished to defy Adelaide's wishes – I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay until Kaden got better and got his eyesight back, I wanted to see the reaction on his face when he saw me for the first time, I wanted to know if these six meetings meant anything, even the slightest thing, to him.
But leaving was the endgame. Was I leaving because Adelaide wanted me to? Or because a part of me knew that Kaden no longer needed me, and that I didn't really fit into his life anyway?
I didn't know, it was all too confusing, but leaving was the endgame and it was simple and it was for the best.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the lid of the box that I had been carrying all this while and held the box out to Edwin. "Will you do something else for me?"
His eyebrows rose as I took out a little potted plant with blue flowers.
"Could you please take care of this? It's for Kaden, but I'm afraid he wouldn't be able to take care of it properly until he gets his eyesight back. There's a list of instructions I taped around the pot and it's really quite easy. I wish I could give it to Kaden myself but the thing is – I won't be here when he opens his eyes," it was difficult to keep my voice calm at the end.
He took the plant and studied it silently. "Does this have something to do with the fact that you're not Ms White?"
My mouth fell open. "How did you know?"
"I've seen Ms White," he returned mildly, staring at me with amusement. "I had to rearrange young Mr Bretton's schedule for a meeting with her. Besides, you don't behave anything like her. Mr Bretton has never behaved the way he does around you with her either. I played along because I assumed that I wasn't meant to know the difference." His smile quickly faded into a grave expression. "I don't know what's going on, nor do I try to find out these things, but I hope you know that Mr Bretton will be very disappointed when he opens his eyes and doesn't see you."
"I wish I could. Unfortunately, I don't think I can."
He simply nodded and studied the plant again. "What species is this?"
"Myosotis," my smile was wistful. I had wracked my brains for the past few days, wondering what to get him. Kaden had everything he wanted in the world and, somehow, nothing I ever gave him seemed extravagant enough. So I had finally settled for this. "Kaden will understand when he sees it."
Because there's another name for Myosotis:
Forget-me-nots.
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The first thing I noticed about Kaden when he came out of the shower was that there wasn't the usual piece of gauze wrapped round his head. But his eyes were shut tight, as though he was actually afraid to open them.
The second thing I noticed was that he wasn't wearing anything but a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. And I couldn't help but realise that Kaden Bretton was lean, tanned and very, very fit; something that I hadn't registered the previous time because of his bruises. His shoulders were broad, with the kind of athletic build that came from years of running and going to the gym.
I let out a squeak that was halfway between pure mortification and surprise, before falling a step back, gripping the doorknob behind me. It wasn't my intention to enter just as he was coming out of the shower. I just figured he was done a long time ago and had grabbed a pack of ice on my way back up so I could attend to his bruises.
"Please wait until I'm out of here before you drop the towel," I blurted when his head turned in my direction. "And yes, hi, it's me again."
His lips quirked up in a soft smile and he shook his head. "It's fine. Just go to my wardrobe and get some clothes for me, will you?"
His request came so completely unexpected that I actually turned around to see if there was anyone standing behind. "Me?"
"Is there anyone else?" He sounded thoroughly amused.
"No," I muttered, annoyed that he was clearly taking satisfaction in my discomfort, and headed over to his wardrobe, flinging the doors wide open. "Is there any specific colour you prefer or – "
He barked out a laugh. "I honestly couldn't give a shit."
Alright then. After selecting an arbitrary pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt – two pieces of clothing that I'd seen him wear often, I paused and stared hesitantly at the stack of boxer shorts. This was going to be so awkward. "Do you go commando or – "
"It's your choice, love – "
"Don't finish that sentence," I cried, appalled, and grabbed the nearest pair of boxers before going back to him.
There was a smirk playing on his lips and while I was glad to see him smiling, I was mortified beyond words. Manoeuvring him back into the bathroom, I placed the boxers and sweatpants on the counter next to the sink.
"Here. You can wear your shirt later because I have to ice your bruises. And I'll help you put the gauze over your eyes in a bit."
His smirk faded into a softer smile. "Thanks."
"Least I could do. Be careful," I told him, before stepping out of the bathroom and pulling the door shut after me. Then I leaned against the door and pressed the tips of my fingers against my flushed cheeks.
It was just so difficult not to fall harder for Kaden Bretton. I'd fallen in love with him because he fit the mould of a Prince Charming perfectly back then. And even though the mould had shattered, meeting him for the second time hadn't disappointed me either. He was mysterious but kind, stand-offish but sweet. Put physical attraction into the mix and my heart was in deep trouble.
Then again, wasn't it always this way?
"Nolan made a slip yesterday," came Kaden's voice from inside the bathroom, effectively breaking me out of my trance, "when he was talking about you."
I frowned but couldn't stop my heart from beating faster – not with anticipation but with anxiety. "What kind of slip?"
"He asked me – and I quote – 'how're you and that redhead girlfriend of yours getting along?'"
Kaden's revelation made me still and I immediately reached for my hair, twirling a lock of it around my finger sceptically. It was a luscious auburn – a colour I'd been dyeing my hair ever since I was eighteen.
The door behind me pulled open suddenly and I staggered back, unable to keep my balance. Kaden caught me before I could fall, one arm wrapping securely around my waist. His eyes were still closed but plain concern was etched in his features.
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were leaning against the door. Are you alright?"
I gripped his arm and righted myself, pulling away from him slightly and ignoring the frown that slipped onto his face. "Yes, thanks. Now where's the gauze for your eyes?"
"On the sink. Check the cupboard if it's not there."
We spent the next five minutes tending to Kaden's eyes. It was a lot easier than making an actual eyepatch, which he didn't need at all. After making sure that the pressure on his eyes was eased up enough, I wrapped the final layer of gauze around his head, taping the back neatly and making sure the ends of his hair didn't accidentally get caught up in it.
"Good enough?" I asked when we were done, and I was putting the rest of the gauze back into the box. "It's not too tight, is it?"
He smiled and shook his head. "It's fine."
Leading him out of the bathroom, I led him over to the bed before going to retrieve the bag of ice I'd left on the coffee table earlier. "Sit," I called over my shoulder, when I noticed him standing there looking rather lost without me. "I have to ice your bruises."
To my amusement, he obediently sat on the bed without so much as a single protest. I sat next to him, pressing the bag of ice gently against the bruises underneath his ribs. He let out a hiss at the coldness but didn't veer away this time. Instead, he laid his hand over mine on the ice bag, his thumb gently brushing against my skin. There was a thoughtful look on his face, as though he was trying to memorise the texture of my skin against his.
"So you've got auburn-coloured hair," he mused, at last. "I was beginning to think I wouldn't get to know a single thing about how you looked like."
"Not auburn per se. More like a...bright red," I settled for saying, since I couldn't think of anything else to say. It was a lie. My hair was a deep shade of auburn through and through, but he didn't need to know that. "Rather similar to Pippi Longstocking's."
There was a baffled silence on his end.
"Pippi – what?"
I smiled at his incredulous tone. "Pippi Longstocking. You know, from the Astrid Lindgren book series," now it was my turn to look horrified when I didn't see any flicker of recognition on his face. "How have you not heard of her? She's just the most adorable nine-year old ever!"
"Probably because she's fiction?" He pointed out sardonically.
Elbowing him gently, I laughed and shook my head. "Yes, but lots of kids grew up reading the series. Astrid Lindgren's like Lois Lowry or Dr Seuss. Famous authors who wrote books for children. When I was a kid, my Dad read these books to me every night before I went to sleep."
He didn't speak for a while. And when I glanced up at him, I noticed that the smile had faded from his lips. "My parents never read me anything."
The look on his face was heartbreaking. It was the kind of wistfulness that reminded me of a boy who had grown up too quickly to become one of the most powerful men in the world. Quickly making a decision, I shifted myself on the bed so that my legs were curled under me, and pulled him down so that his head was resting on my lap.
He froze for a moment, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What are you – "
"I'm helping you catch up on what you missed during your childhood," I said lightly and eased him back down on my lap. Leaving the ice-bag on his bruised skin, I made sure to keep one hand on the bag to prevent it from slipping. "I'm going to tell you all about Pippi Longstocking."
"This can't be good," he muttered sarcastically.
"If you don't like it I can always – "
My words were an empty threat but I made to get up all the same, only to be stopped when he reached up, tightening his fingers around my knee. When I stopped moving, his fingers relaxed but he kept them there on my knee all the same, as though he was afraid I'd leave.
"Stay," he murmured. "I'll listen to anything. Just stay, please."
If only I could.
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We spent the rest of the afternoon lazing around with occasional conversations between lulled silences. I felt a stirring, sweeping sense of peace; the kind you felt when time had come to a momentary stop and nothing else, nothing in the world seemed to matter. I wished very much for it to last forever but time pressed on like the waves lapping against the shore, and no force on this earth could stop it.
Sometime in the late afternoon, I pulled Kaden up from the bed. He had been drifting off and groaned when I tugged on his arm. "Where're you taking me to?" He mumbled sleepily as I dragged him towards the door.
Grabbing my iPod from my bag, I hastily stuffed it into my pocket and smiled. "We're going to the beach."
He stilled, his mouth falling open in surprise as if the news was far too good to be true. "What?"
"You heard me."
He shook his head in disbelief. "But I've been trying to go out for ages and security keeps putting me back in the room."
"I asked Edwin earlier and he agreed to cover up for us. Besides, what your mum doesn't know wouldn't hurt her."
The words left a glimmer of hope in their wake and I wondered briefly if there was a way out in all this. Would it work if I still kept in contact with Kaden after the seventh meeting?
Setting the thought carefully aside to mull about later, I pulled Kaden towards the door. "Come on."
I dragged him barefooted out of the room, down the stairs and towards the back door. When we were out on the patio at the back of the house, I kicked off my shoes and tied my hair up in a high ponytail before stepping out onto the soft warm sand. Kaden still stood there stoically, but he seemed to be taking deep breaths, like he had never properly breathed all his life before this.
"Everything alright?" I asked curiously, smiling when he tilted his head to face me, his fingers gently interlacing with mine.
"Yes," he murmured. If he weren't blind, I knew that he'd be staring at the picturesque beach and the sea beyond and maybe even further, where the sky and the sea met in a single, miniscule line. "I just forgot how it felt like out here."
He stepped off the patio, a contented expression slipping onto his face when he felt the sand beneath his feet. He seemed to have truly missed going out, and I remembered that the last time he actually stepped out of the house was with Nolan some weeks ago. A wicked smile spread across my face when I recalled what Nolan said he'd tried to do to Kaden but had failed miserably.
"Keep walking," I urged, tugging at his hand so that he'd start following me.
He obliged and I led him down the beach slowly, taking my time to soak every single bit of it in. It was a lovely place; quiet mostly, because the beach was private. I spotted several people someway farther along, but they were a good distance away and possibly living in one of the many smaller beach houses that were built for rent.
When we were close to the waves, I slowed until a big wave came rushing to the shore. Without a moment's hesitation, I mercilessly pushed Kaden towards it, but made sure that my fingers were still latched on his shirt in case he actually fell. When he awkwardly stumbled several steps forward into the water, I let out a squeal of laughter and he turned round with a scowl on his face.
"I knew you were going to pull something like that," the flat tone in his voice made me realise he saw this coming a lot sooner than I predicted. Perhaps he'd been expecting it for awhile now. It made me wonder why he didn't trip me the way he did to Nolan and just let me push him in all the same.
Trying to stifle the smile on my face, I reached out and pulled him away from the water, back onto the dry sand, back to me. The expression on his face was still stony and I started to get worried. "Are you angry?"
He shook his head, a tiny, amused smile finally curling on his lips. "Of course not."
I heaved a sigh of relief. "Then will you do something with me?"
"Anything."
I smiled and reached into my pocket for the old iPod. Unravelling the earpieces from around the device, I slotted one in his ear and the other in mine. He raised his eyebrows questioningly but didn't pull back, not even when I turned the iPod on, found the song I was looking for and hit play. Not even when I reached up and settled my hands on his broad shoulders, feeling him freeze in surprise under my touch.
Then, taking a deep breath, I asked the question I had wanted to ask from the moment I met him again.
"Will you dance with me?"
He faltered and I braced myself for rejection. Because, you know, it had been a long time ago. Things had changed, we had changed. Maybe he absolutely loathed the idea of slow dancing now.
"I want to," he began hesitantly, "but since I'm blind, I'm not sure how to lead you. And I might step on you if I'm not careful."
The smile that spread across my face was brighter than the mid-afternoon sun. "It's okay," I whispered, slipping my iPod back into my pocket and reaching down to take his arms. "I'll teach you."
Bringing his arms around my waist, I revelled in the way they slid around me effortlessly, protectively, as if shielding me from the rest of the world. I drew my arms around his neck and stared up at him. Up close, I could see the soft freckles dotting his high cheekbones and feel the caress of his breath against my cheek, far gentler and far more comforting than the sea breeze.
Slow dancing was not difficult, as Kaden himself had taught me so long ago. If you discounted all the technicalities and the extravagances, then it was simple, soft swaying to the beat of the music. It was the proximity I focused on, how I held him so close to heart but never quite close enough.
It was the sight of him, tall and handsome against the landscape of the sea behind, riveting and beautiful, that made my heart beat painfully against my chest, each beat a step closer to our final goodbye.