when you drown your girlhood

By poetgray

3.6K 268 60

aeolist. High rankings- #1 in poetry #1 in creativewriting #1 in prose #1 in spokenword #1 in girlhood #1... More

disclaimer.
i was not made for living like this.
ownership.
gnawing on diary pages.
disapproval makes me grit my teeth for more.
suicide cleanup by birth day.
what i would tell 13 year old me.
family values.
i think it's time to care about myself a little more.
groomed.
listening to another song by lil peep in the bathroom stall
he made me hate rough sex.
exorcism needed.
young girl; sexualized and slut shamed
anathemise.
il dolore più grande
valid.

i do not want to be someone's girl.

153 12 1
By poetgray

i used to wish i got to love you a little longer
but i came to the conclusion that
it was never love
only obsessive behavior

and my ego was eating away
at my bone marrow
telling me delusions and lies

you poisoned my arteries and veins with venom
then told me the worst thing of all
that i was claimed as your girl

even though i could have nightmares
of how you told another girl the same
before crawling your manipulative way
back into my yellow-like bruised arms

until i stopped the naive act
because the anxiety around your presence
would force me into an energetic heart attack

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