INT. BAR – NIGHT
A woman with long blonde hair was sitting at the bar with a drink. Sam walked up to the bar and sat next to her.
"Evening, barkeep. I would like to purchase some alcohol, please," Sam said.
"Uh-huh, what can I get you?" the bartender asked.
Sam held up his I.D. "Well, I'm 26. As you can see. From my license."
"Congratulations. What can I get you?"
"A banana daiquiri, my good man." He looked very pleased.
The woman smiled at Sam. "I'm Crystal. What's your name?"
"Hi, Crystal." He held out his hand and they shook. "I'm Gary."
"Gary, I don't want to embarrass you, but you are just – you are just a stunning-looking man."
"I know, right?" He pushed his hair behind his ears as the bartender brought the banana daiquiri, complete with pink umbrella. "Ooh! Thanks."
"So Gary, are you having a good time tonight?"
"Mmm!" He slurped on the daiquiri. "Thank you for asking, Crystal – this is like the best night ever."
"Do you think we could make it any better?"
Sam shrugged. "Probably. I don't know!"
"I mean, do you want to get out of here?"
"Well, I kind of like this bar. And I just ordered this daiquiri."
"I mean, do you want to get out of here with me?"
Sam looked around and whispered, "Are we talking about sex?"
"Well, I, uh –" she laughed. "Yeah. I suppose we are."
Sam inhaled sharply. "Crystal, I would love to have the sex with you."
Crystal chuckled. "Great. Then let's go."
A teenage boy smiled at Crystal. She was actually talking to the teenage boy, not Sam.
"Love that jacket on you, by the way," Crystal complimented.
"Thanks," the teenage boy, Gary replied. "Actually, the whole outfit is new."
EXT. – DAY
HOUSATONIC, MASSACHUSETTS – THIRTY-SIX HOURS EARLIER
The Impala pulled up outside a white two-story house.
"Dean, Zach and Sammy Winchester," a woman said.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
A woman and a teenage girl were sitting on a sofa on one side of a coffee table. Sam, Zach and Dean were on a sofa on the other side. Lily had gone to help her father. The woman set a plate of cookies on the table, which also held a pitcher of lemonade.
"So, how long has it been?" the woman asked.
"The summer before 6th grade," Sam replied.
"Mmm, I remember. You assigned yourself your own reading list."
Dean chuckled. "That's right. I forgot about that."
Sam spoke to the teenage girl. "Your mom happens to be the best babysitter we ever had."
"Well, when I was a maid at the Mayflower, out on the interstate – long before you were even an idea – their daddy used to pass through town and leave the boys with me while he went off to... work. One time, he was gone for two weeks," the woman said.
"Two weeks?"
"Mm-hmm. Oh, he'd always come limping back. He loved you boys."
"Did you know what he did all that time?" the teenage girl wondered.
"Little Sammy kept trying to tell me. Of course, I didn't believe him. Not at first, anyway."
Sam looked at the girl. "Katie, our dad, her uncle, um, happened to be an expert at getting rid of ghosts. And now, so are we."
"That's why I called them, sweetie. They can help us."
A man came into the room carrying suitcases.
"Sounds like you guys got yourself a poltergeist," Dean guessed.
"Started a month or two after we moved in," the man told them.
"Yeah, first it was, uh, just bumps and knocks and scratches on the walls. And then it started breaking things," Donna, the mother, added.
"And then it attacked Katie?" Zach asked.
"That was two nights ago," the man said.
Donna looked at her daughter. "Can you show them, honey?"
Katie stood up and lifted her shirt, revealing words cut into her skin.
""Murdered Child,"" Sam and Zach read.
"Katie, everything's gonna be fine," Dean reassured. "I promise. Why don't you guys take yourselves a little vacation, and, uh, we'll take care of it."
Donna sighed. "Thank you."
EXT. DINER – DAY
INT. DINER – DAY
Sam and Zach sat at a table. Dean waited at the counter. Gary carried a tray of food to the counter.
"Uh, bacon burger turbo, large chili-cheese fry, a bacon burger, a side salad, uh, and a Health Quake Salad shake?"
"I know. I know. It's, uh..." Dean cleared his throat, "it's not mine. Neither is the side salad."
"Hey, maybe you should try rabbit food once in a while," Zach shot back.
"No thanks."
Dean sat opposite Sam and Zach. Sam added dressing to his salad shake and shook it thoroughly.
Dean stared at him. "Oh, you shake it up, baby. You know, poltergeist aside, Donna looked pretty good, don't you think?"
Zach rolled his eyes. "Come on, dude. Seriously? You still crushing on her?"
"Dude, don't tell me you've still got the hots for our babysitter," Sam said.
"What? No. That's weird," Dean replied with a chuckle. "I'm just saying that she, you know, she – she's – she's doing good. You know, with her husband, her kid. This whole Amityville thing being thrown at them, and they're hanging tough."
"Yeah."
"You ever think that you'd want something like that? Wife, rugrats, the whole nine?"
Sam shook his head. "No, not really my thing anymore."
"Yeah. Zach's got Lily, so maybe they'll get that. What do you got?"
"Uh, well, that house of theirs, it's old – really old. Um, hundreds of years. And Zach and I found a legend. It's unconfirmed, but still."
"Saying?"
Zach met his eyes. "Supposedly, in the 1720s, the house was owned by a guy named Isaiah Pickett." She turned Sam's laptop to show Dean a site titled 'Witchcraft.' "Legend has it he hung a woman in his backyard for witchcraft – a woman named Maggie Briggs."
"Okay, so an angry ghost witch?"
"If it's true." Gary was still staring at them. "That still doesn't explain what "Murdered Child" means."
"No, or where the bitch is buried."
"You know, I mean, it's a long way back, but I can see if I can find something in the town records," Sam said.
"It's worth a shot."
Gary, still staring at Sam, smiled slightly.
"Gary!" the manager called. "Curly fries are up!"
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Sam was walking down the street talking on the phone.
"So, any luck?" Dean asked over the phone.
"Bupkis," Sam replied. "Can't even find proof a woman named Maggie Briggs existed, much less where she was planted."
"All right. Well, we've got a minute to breathe here, so, uh, let's pick it up first thing."
"Yeah, you bet. See you in a few."
Sam, in a park, heard a noise and stopped. A dart hit Sam in the neck.
"Aah!" Sam cried. "What..." He fell to the ground.
---
Sam, dressed in Gary's diner uniform, was lying on the ground. He woke, looked at his clothes and held a hand to his neck.
---
A police car came up behind Sam, who was walking down a road.
The police officer spoke into the radio. "Yeah, this is Collins out on Route 30. I think we got him." He spoke to Sam. "Mr. Frankel? Mr. Gary Frankel?"
"Who?" Sam asked.
"Your family's worried sick about you, son."
"My – my family? My brothers called you?"
"Come on, get in before you freeze solid."
Sam got in the police car.
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The police car pulled into the driveway of a blue two-story house. Officer Collins got out and opened the door for Sam.
"Thanks, uh, but, uh, w-where are we?" Sam questioned.
"You're home, son," Officer Collins told him.
"N-no, officer, I-I'm not staying here."
Gary's parents ran out of the house.
"Gary!" Gary's mom called. "Oh, my God! Gary! Oh, God! Gary!" She hugged him.
"Oh, hey! Hey! Hey!" Sam protested.
"Are you all right?"
"Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Um, w-what's going on here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Lady, who are you?"
"Young man, are you drunk?" Gary's dad asked.
"And who are you?"
"Gary, are you drunk? Answer your father," Gary's mom demanded.
"My father? Look..." Sam saw Gary's reflection, rather than his own, in the police car window. "Who is that?! Who the hell is that?!"
"He's out of his gourd," Gary's dad stated. "Young man, I'm very surprised at you."
"Yeah. Tell me about it."
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Sam was flexing his muscles in front of a mirror and spoke in Gary's voice. "Oh, yeah. Bring it!" He turned away from the mirror and it was Gary in Sam's body. "Holy crap."
Dean and Zach entered and the former said, "Sam. Where the hell you been, man? Zach and I've been trying to call you for hours."
"I picked up some food. Bacon burger turbo, large chili-cheese fry, and bacon burger, side salad, right? Sorry, man. Really. I-I just – I lost track of time. I didn't mean to freak you two out."
"Thanks. Don't know why it took you two hours, but thanks."
"Oh, you're both gonna want to eat that on the road."
"Why?" Dean and Zach asked.
"The maid came in, saw that," he pointed to the weapons laid out for cleaning, "and now they're all kind of freaking out."
Zach frowned. "Why'd you let the maid in?"
"It just happened."
"Whatever. I got to hit the head, and then we'll take off," Dean said.
"All right. I-I'll be outside with her."
Dean went into the bathroom. Gary picked up Dean's phone, flipped it open, smiled and closed it.
Zach glanced at Gary. "You go on. I gotta hide this crap, thanks to you."
"Sorry."
"Just go wait in the car, dude."
INT. IMPALA – NIGHT
Gary took a handful of phones out of the glove compartment.
EXT. MOTEL – NIGHT
Gary put the phones in a dumpster.
---
Gary was sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala. Dean and Zach walked up and opened the driver's door and back door.
"Hey," Dean greeted. "You ready?"
"Absolutely," Gary replied as Dean and Zach got in. "Hey, can I drive?"
Dean and Zach looked at him. Car doors closed and Gary sat in the driver's seat and Dean in the passenger seat. Gary started the engine.
"Oh, this is so sweet!" Gary cried as he revved the engine.
"You want to get the lead out, Andretti? Come on," Dean said as Gary put the car into gear. "Reverse. Reverse!"
The tires squealed as the Impala shot backwards and hit the dumpster. Full trash bags fell onto the trunk.
"It's in reverse," Dean stated.
They got out of the Impala and survey the damage.
"I am really, really sorry," Gary apologized.
"Shut up," Dean and Zach retorted.
---
The Impala drove away. The trash bags on the trunk fell to the ground.
INT. GARY'S PARENTS' HOUSE – NIGHT
"This is Dean's other, other cell, so you must know what to do."
Sam was standing in Gary's bedroom holding a phone to his ear. "Dean, I've called every phone we got. Where are you and Zach, man?" Gary's body reflected in the mirror. "So, this is gonna sound crazy, really crazy, but, um – I think I'm in the wrong body." He chuckled nervously. "Could use a little help here. I-I think I got asthma. Call me back."
Sam made another call.
"Lucky Star Motel."
"Hello, uh, could you please connect me to room 102?"
"102? Uh, nah, man, those guys checked out middle of the night."
"Wait – "guys"? Plural? More than the two?"
"Yeah – uh, one leather jacket, one Sasquatch, and a plaid-shirted one. They left."
Sam hung up and looked at Gary's reflection in the mirror. He moved his jaw from side to side with his hand. "Who are you?"
Sam looked through Gary's things, including Advanced Placement chemistry and physics notes. "Smart kid." He took a Star Wars Darth Vader t-shirt off the clothes rack and sighed. "Virgin." He opened a box he found under the bed, which contained a Busty Asian Beauties magazine. "Frustrated virgin." He found a black dagger and a black cloth with a pentagram. "Witchcraft, huh, Gary? You little Satanic bastard."
Gary's mom called from downstairs, "Gary! breakfast!"
"Leave me alone."
"Gary!"
"All right, I'm coming!"
---
Gary's dad and sister were at the table in the kitchen. Sam entered and sat down. Gary's mom put a plate of food in front of Sam.
"So, Gary, I'd like to know what happened last night," Gary's dad said.
Sam exhaled sharply. "So would I. Believe me."
"I mean, what happened with the plan, buddy?"
"The plan?"
"S.A.T.s, M.I.T. – the plan. You want to be an engineer, you need a full ride. So, tell me, how does getting drunk fit with the plan?"
"Right, yeah. Listen, buddy, no offense, but at the moment, I could give a rat's ass about your plan."
"Excuse me?"
"Uh... huh. Listen, h-have I seemed, uh, moody lately? Withdrawn?"
"Wow," Gary's sister muttered.
"Any – any occult fixations?"
Gary's mom frowned. "What?"
"Let me guess – I'm amazing at Latin."
"You have an ear for languages."
"Hmm. Um, any of the neighborhood pets go missing recently?"
"Are you smoking drugs?" Gary's dad asked.
"Leonard," Gary's mom called. "He is not smoking drugs."
"Have any of you seen me w-w-with a book?" Sam inquired. "It'd be big and old, uh, leather-bound, maybe some strange writing on it. Or," he sighed, "frankly, I'm probably hiding it." He took a piece of toast from Gary's mom's plate and took a bite.
"Gary, no!"
"W-what?"
"You're allergic to wheat gluten."
---
The toilet flushed. Sam came out of the bathroom holding his stomach. Gary's sister was waiting outside.
"Gluten," Sam commented.
"You've seriously sprung a leak," Gary's sister told him.
"What?"
"If Mom and Dad ever found that creepy old book of yours, you'd be grounded for a decade. And you're bringing it up at breakfast?"
"So there is a book. Sydney, where do I keep it?"
EXT. STREET – DAY
Gary, Zach and Dean were walking.
"So, uh, where we going, anyway?" Gary asked.
"To work. The case?" Dean and Zach replied.
"Oh, right. Yeah – the case. Of course. Where, uh, do you two want to start?"
"Well, since you couldn't find where Maggie Briggs was buried, now we have to do an all-day tombstone roll to see if we can dig her up," Dean said.
"Wait. M-Maggie Briggs? You mean, like – like, the witch Maggie Briggs?"
"Yeah, Sherlock."
They stood on opposite sides of the Impala.
"Yeah, she's in the basement," Gary informed.
Dean glanced at Zach, who was equally as shocked. "Come again? W-what basement?"
"Isaiah Pickett's house. Okay, there's this legend that he hung her, but he didn't. The real truth is that she was carrying his illegitimate child, and he killed her and then buried her in the basement."
"The murdered child. That would explain the scratches. How do you know all this?" Dean questioned.
"Oh, I've done all kinds of research on it." Dean and Zach looked at him in surprise. "I mean, you know, last night."
"Yeah. Nice work... I guess."
They got into the Impala. Dean turned on the radio and Bob Seger's Rock 'n' Roll Never Forgets played.
"Aw, man, turn it up!" Gary cried.
"Seriously?" Dean and Zach asked.
"Hell yeah!"
The song was turned up.
Sam's voice sounded on the phone. "Dean! Zach! Someone has stolen my body! The guy right next to you and Kennedy is not me!"
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
"Check your friggin' voicemail. Damn it," Sam said.
"Gary?" a teenage boy asked.
"Are you okay?" a teenage girl questioned.
"Yeah, I'm Gary... Gary is okay," Sam replied.
"So we're referring to ourselves in the third person now?" the teenage boy asked.
"We heard about last night. What happened?" the teenage girl wondered.
"Got drunk. No big thing," Sam replied. "Look, uh, what's my locker number?"
The teenage girl laughed as the teenage boy said, "What, are you – are you still drunk?"
"Yeah, yeah, I see, like, three of you right now. Um, so – so, what's my locker number?"
INT. SCHOOL LOCKER ROOM – DAY
Sam opened the lock on Gary's locker by listening to the dial as he turned it. Inside he found the witchcraft book.
"Oh, no, Gary." He sighed. "This is a very, very bad book."
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE – DAY
Dean, Zach and Gary walked downstairs and looked around with flashlights.
"Boo-yah! Master chief is in the house, bizatches!" Gary exclaimed.
Dean and Zach frowned. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Fine."
"Well, I'll be damned," Dean commented. "Willow moss."
"Yeah, right. It's, uh, supposed to grow over witches' graves, right?"
Dean and Zach looked as if Sam should definitely know that. "Yeah."
Dean and Zach both took a shovel out of a bag and started digging up the grave.
Gary trained a gun on Dean and Kennedy. "Hey, man, dude, I'm really sorry about this."
"Sorry about what?" Dean and Zach asked.
Gary suddenly flew backwards and hit the wall.
"Sam!" They rushed to Gary and Dean and helped him up. "You okay?"
"Let's get the hell out of here!"
"Wait, wait, wait. We still got to burn the body, you idiot," Dean told him. "Come on."
Dean and Zach went flying into the wall. A ghost appeared. She burned up as she rushed at Dean and Zach.
---
Flames burned in the grave. Gary stood next to the grave holding a can of lighter fluid. "Dudes, that was sweet!"
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Sam was walking away from the school carrying the witchcraft book. The teenage boy and girl followed him.
"Hey, Gary, wait up!" the teenage boy called.
"Where are you going?" the teenage girl asked.
"I got something to do," Sam told them.
"You're skipping class? You?" the teenage boy questioned.
"I'm just... not feeling like myself, okay?"
"Well, whatever it is, we can talk it out, bro. Come with us."
"I don't have time. I got to go. I'm sorry." He turned away.
"Hey!" The teenage boy fired a dart at Sam, which hit him in the neck.
"Trevor!" the teenage girl cried.
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?"
Sam fell to the ground.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Dean, Zach and Gary were at a table. Each had a bottle of beer.
A waitress brought them more drinks. "Here you go, guys."
"You know, do me a favor, sweetheart. Would you bring me a cheeseburger with extra bacon? And fry an egg on top of it, would you?" Dean said.
"Absolutely."
Zach nodded. "The same, but without the egg."
"Ooh, that – that sounds good. Ditto his order," Gary said, pointing to Dean.
"Be right back with your order," the waitress told them as she left.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sam?" Dean asked.
Gary looked confused. "W-what do you mean?"
"Bacon cheeseburgers now?"
"I don't know. I eat them, don't I? Anyways, we are celebrating." He lifted his glass in a toast.
"Yeah, I guess. Another one bites the dust. Nice work today."
"You too. I had a, uh, really awesome day, man. Seriously." He downed his drink. "Whoo! Sweet."
"A really awesome day?" Dean and Zach repeated.
"Yeah. Why not?"
Dean glanced at Zach before saying, "It was a random, D-list ghost hunt. That's – that's awesome to you?"
"I can't be in a good mood?"
"Yeah, I guess, I just... No, actually. It's not really your style, Sam."
"Well, then, it's a new me. I mean, come on. Why shouldn't I be happy? I've got a gun, I'm getting drunk, I'm hanging out with a gorgeous lady, and," he pointed his finger at his face, "I look like this." He sighed. "I don't know. You two ever feel like your whole future is being decided for you?"
"Uh, yeah, Sam, we feel like that a lot."
"No matter how much you fight it, you can't stop the plan. The stupid, stupid plan. So, I don't know. I guess it's, uh, it's just nice to do a little ass-kicking for a change, that's all. Uh, you know what? I – I'm drunk." He chuckled. "Sorry. Just – just forget it."
"No, no. It's all right. It's, uh... I'll drink to that." They clinked glasses and drank. "Wow, you know, is it just me, or are we actually drinking together?"
"We don't do it that often, huh?"
Zach let out a scoff. "That's one way to put it."
"Well, we should. You're a good guy, Dean. You are too, Zach."
"Oh, you are drunk," Dean and Zach commented.
The waitress arrived with the burgers. "Here you go."
"Mmm. Thank you."
"Enjoy."
"No, but I mean it. You really are good guys," Gary told them as he took a bite of his burger. "Mmm! The bread alone! Mmm!"
LATER
Dean and Zach were still at the table, but Gary's seat was empty. Dean and Zach turned around and saw Gary at the bar with Crystal.
"Love that jacket on you, by the way," Crystal complimented.
"Thanks. Actually, the whole outfit is new," Gary replied.
Dean and Zach watched Crystal and Gary leave the bar.
Gary paused at the door. "We're gonna do it!"
Dean finally looked suspicious and Zach narrowed his eyes, already trying to figure out what had happened.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Sam, in Gary's body, was sitting on a coffee table with his hands tied behind his back. Trevor is holding a phone. The teenage girl stood nearby with her arms folded.
"Hey! What the hell's going on?!" Sam demanded.
"You can scream all you want," Trevor told him, speaking loudly. "No one can hear you! My parents are out of town!"
Trevor spoke on the phone. "Gary."
INT. CRYSTAL'S HOUSE – NIGHT
Gary was in bed, naked at least to the waist. "T. What up?"
INT. TREVOR'S PARENTS' HOUSE / INT. CRYSTAL'S HOUSE
"Where are you?" Trevor asked.
"Uh, I can't really tell you right now, but, man, you wouldn't believe it," Gary replied.
"Well, where's Dean and Zach?"
"Uh, the Cloverleaf on Route 6. Why?"
"You mean you haven't killed them yet?"
Sam frowned. "What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. W-what do you mean? Kill Dean and Zach?"
"Building up to it," Gary replied.
"Look, Gary, we got problems here," Trevor warned. "For one, I'm looking at your body right now – with this other dude in it."
"What?"
"Yeah, he's been in your house. He's hanging out with your parents."
"Okay just... calm down. Whatever he says, no one's gonna believe him, right? I mean, w-we're still good."
"Would you just hurry up and kill the sons of bitches already, would you?"
"Don't rush me. I'll do it."
"Yeah, you better."
INT. CRYSTAL'S HOUSE – NIGHT
Crystal opened the bedroom door. She was wearing a short black dress, long black boots and long black gloves, and was carrying a whip.
"Got to go." He hung up. Crystal smacked the whip on her palm. "Oh, man. I am in way over my head."
INT. TREVOR'S PARENTS' HOUSE – NIGHT
"I don't think he's gonna do it," Trevor said.
"Just relax, this is Gary we're talking about," the teenage girl reassured.
"What the hell is going on here? How do you know who Dean and Zach are?" Sam asked.
Trevor looked at Sam. "Everybody knows Dean. He's Hell's most wanted. Zach's a close second."
"Oh, no. No. Have you idiots been talking to demons?"
"Oh, right. We're the idiots."
Sam sighed. "You're just kids. You have no idea what you're messing with."
"Well, we know that there's a price on Dean's head, and a pretty sweet offer for Zach's head, and we're the ones that are gonna collect."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"About a month ago, we were down here–" the teenage girl was cut off.
"Nora," Trevor called.
"We're not allowed to talk about him? We were down here, goofing around with that book."
"Um, I wouldn't exactly call praying to our dark overlord "goofing around.""
"Don't be a loser, Trev."
"Yeah, Trev," Sam agreed.
"Anyway, all of a sudden, the lights flickered and Gary went into this weird trance. He closed his eyes, picked up a pencil, and drew these." She showed Sam a drawing of Dean and Zach.
"And you know what's really weird? Gary can't draw," Trevor said.
"He said he heard a voice in his head. The demons were putting out a bounty on this guy and girl."
"A bounty?" Sam repeated.
"Yeah, like, every witch or Satanist across the whole country. But Gary – Gary's the one who spotted you."
"And the "Freaky Friday" crap?"
"Another spell from the book. Gary's idea – go in Trojan horse-style. He's really smart."
"That is, if he has the beanbags to go through with it," Trevor commented.
"Listen to me. You are making a terrible mistake. We're talking about a demon deal – killing somebody. This isn't a game. You're crossing a line you won't come back from. Believe me," Sam told them.
Nora looked at Trevor in alarm and he asked, "What?"
"Nothing. I-I..." Nora stammered.
"Nora, don't tell me you're actually listening to this jerk."
"I don't know. M-maybe. I-I mean, what if he has a point?"
"I don't believe this. First Gary, now you. I can't – you know what? Fine. You want something done right..."
"What, you're gonna – you're gonna go kill Dean and Zach yourself, tough guy?"
"Don't have to. I can do this." He held up the witchcraft book open to a page about demon summoning.
"N-no, no. Y-you can't be serious."
"I'm calling up one of these bad boys, turning these punks over, and getting paid. Dolla, dolla bills, y'all!"
"I-I really don't think that that's a good idea."
"It's not. It's a very, very bad idea," Sam said.
"No one asked you," Trevor retorted.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Gary entered quietly. Dean and Zach appeared to be asleep under blankets on the beds. Gary picked up a gun and aimed it at the bed.
Dean appeared behind Gary and punched him. "You're not Sam. Who the hell are you?"
"Ow!" Gary cried.
INT. TREVOR'S PARENTS' HOUSE – NIGHT
Trevor had set up the ingredients for the summoning ritual.
"Don't do this. I'm begging you," Sam said.
"Trevor, I think he's right," Nora agreed.
Trevor looked at her. "Hey, you want to get into Vassar, don't you?"
"Please! Stop!" Sam yelled as Trevor commenced the spell. "You're gonna get us all killed!"
"Ad ligandum eos pariter eos coram me!" Nothing seemed to have happened. "Maybe I said it wrong." He turned and saw Nora slumped on the floor. "Nora?"
"No! No, no! Don't touch her!"
"Nora, you okay?"
Nora looked at him, her eyes black. "Oh, yeah. I'm peachy."
Nora/demon looked at Trevor. So, what'd you call me here for, Skippy? Unless... it's dinnertime?"
"What? I-I... n-no. Uh, we have Dean and Zach Winchester," Trevor told her.
"You do? Where?"
"Trevor, keep your mouth shut," Sam warned.
Trevor ignored Sam. "The Cloverleaf Motel over on Route 6."
"Sam? Is that you in there?" Nora/demon laughed. "Well, aren't you just 98 pounds of nothing."
"The kid is a moron. He doesn't have any idea where Dean and Zach are," Sam said.
Nora/demon laughed again. "So, if Sam's in this body, who's in Sam's?"
"A dangerous warlock. Named Gary," Trevor replied.
"You mean to tell me you've got Dean and Zach Winchester and Sam Winchester's meat suit? An empty vessel just waiting to be filled. And you're handing them both over to me?"
"Uh, y-yeah. I guess."
"Well... I got to hand it to you. I'm impressed."
"Thanks. Um, so if you don't mind my asking... there's a reward?"
"Sure. My undying gratitude."
Trevor chuckled. "What, are you serious?"
"Be quiet, you idiot!" Sam told him.
"Consider yourself lucky, kid," Nora/demon stated.
Trevor sighed. "Um, wait a minute! We worked our asses off here, and, uh, I want my reward!" Nora/demon stared at him. "Please?"
Nora/demon chuckled. "Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. What can I get you?"
"Well, h-how about a million bucks?"
"Oh, for God's sake, Trevor, just shut up and run!" Sam yelled.
"A million doesn't buy you much these days. Why not make it 10?" Nora/demon suggested.
"Okay, $10 mill," Trevor agreed. "And I want... I want Mindy Schwartz to fall in love with me."
"Love... money." She chuckled. "Sticking to the basics. I can respect that. But here's my counter."
Nora/demon drove her hand into Trevor's body. Blood ran from his mouth as he dropped to the floor.
Nora/demon licked blood from her hand. "Yep. Tastes like moron." She smiled at Sam.
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Dean pressed a button on the motel room phone. Gary was tied to a chair.
The phone message bank beeped. "You have 38 messages."
Sam's voice sounded after a beep. "Uh, this is gonna sound crazy – really crazy – but I think, uh, I think I'm in the wrong body." He chuckled nervously. Beep. "Dean, Zach, the guy right next to you is not me!" Beep. "Dean, Zach, check your friggin' voicemail. Damn it."
"All right, pal. Either you start talking or I start water boarding," Dean said.
"Oh, my God. Please, don't hurt me. Please! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Gary cried.
"Hey, pull it together, champ."
"I don't want to die. I don't want to die."
"Where's Sam?" Dean and Zach demanded.
"In my – my friend's basement. His parents are out of town."
"Parents?" Dean repeated. "How old are you?"
"17."
"17? Huh."
Dean and Zach went flying backwards into a lamp, fell to the ground and laid still. Gary turned and saw Nora/demon.
"Nora?" Gary called.
Nora/demon's eyes turned black. "Not at the moment."
INT. TREVOR'S PARENTS' HOUSE – NIGHT
Sam was straining against the ropes that bind him to a chair.
He grunted. "Whew!" He breathed heavily. "Damn it!"
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Dean and Zach were unconscious on the floor.
Nora/demon untied Gary and said, "Boy, you earned your dessert tonight, kiddo. Tell me – what is it you want? Anything."
"Anything?" Gary repeated.
"Lay it on me."
"I want to be a witch. For real. And really powerful."
"Mm. Good choice. I get it. No daddy, no M.I.T. No plan. You get to be big and strong, and no one can tell you what to do anymore. There's just one small formality first. You got to meet the boss."
"The boss?"
"You know – your Satanic majesty, or whatever the kids are calling it these days."
"The devil?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Uh... no. O-okay. Um, it's okay. I... don't really want to bother him."
"Oh, but he's gonna want to meet you. Relax. It'll be easy. He's just gonna ask you one little question, and all you got to do is say "yes". And then, you get your reward."
Dean and Zach both swung at Nora/demon with a knife. She caught their arms, threw them to the ground and kicked them. Dean and Zach looked at Gary.
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus," Gary said.
"What was that?" Nora/demon asked.
"Uh, n-nothing."
"Were you trying exorcize me?! You little piece of crap!" She grabbed Gary by the throat and lifted him off the ground.
"Spiritus, omnis satanica potestas," Dean and Zach stated.
Nora/demon released Gary and turned back to Dean and Zach.
Gary continued the exorcism. "Omnis incursio infernalis adversii."
"Omnis congregatio."
"Et secta diabolica."
"Ergo, draco maledicte."
"Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire."
"Te rogamus. Adios, bitch!"
"Uh, it's "adinos.""
Black smoke poured from Nora/demon's mouth and he cried, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
The smoke exited through a vent in the wall. Nora fell to the ground.
Gary nodded in a satisfied way to Dean and Zach.
INT. TREVOR'S PARENTS' HOUSE – NIGHT
Nora was sitting on a bed wrapped in a robe. Dean and Zach watched Gary, who were sitting opposite Sam with spell ingredients between them.
"Animae domum redeant. Fas atque nefas instauretur. Potestate et auctoritate, sic fiat," Gary chanted.
Gary dropped powder into the bowl between him and Sam, causing light to flare from it. When the light died down, Gary and Sam had changed places. Sam got up and looked at himself in a mirror.
"So, we good?" Dean and Zach asked.
"Yeah. We're good," Sam replied. "Oh, man, it's nice to be back."
"Yeah. Awesome."
"So..." Dean cleared his throat, "Gary."
"I know – my bad," Gary said.
""My bad"? Kid, "my bad" ain't gonna cut it. See, if you were of voting age... you'd be dead. Because we would kill you. So either you straighten up and fly right or we will kill you. Are we clear?"
"Crystal."
"Good."
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
The Impala pulled up outside Gary's parents' house. Sam, Gary, Dean, Zach and Nora got out.
"Crap," Gary muttered.
"Gary, take it from someone who knows – chin up, man. Your life ain't that bad," Sam told him.
"Uh, you met my parents."
"Yeah. So what? It's your life. You don't like their plan for you, tell them to cram it. Rebel a little bit. In a healthy, non-Satanic way, of course. By the way, you know why Nora's into witchcraft?"
"What do you mean?"
"She doesn't like Satan, you moron. She likes you."
"Really? You think?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm telling you, kid – I wish I had your life."
"You do? Thanks."
"Get out of here."
Gary and Nora headed for the house.
"That was a nice thing to say," Dean commented.
"I totally lied. That kid's life sucked ass." Sam, Zach and Dean got into the Impala. "All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me – we didn't miss a damn thing."
"Or we don't know what we're missing."
Zach shrugged. "I don't know. I like the idea of that with Lily."
Dean started the engine. Rock 'n' Roll Never Forgets played loudly.
"Oh, come on, man," Sam protested. "Turn it down."
Dean did so. "Welcome back, Kotter."