Nandini
Dread. Fear. Nightmares. I felt like I'm held by clutches to the ground as I stood in front of our room door. Like something is crushing me to the ground, keeping me in place.
It's okay Nandini, he is your husband, he won't hurt you. The maximum he'll do is throw a fit or yell or throw things. He promised not to hurt you. But why does it feel like I'm walking straight into a lion's den with no shield or protection?
Man up Nandini, it's going to be okay. Now don't slip out at the last moment and sneak into the guest room and hide as much as the thought sounds appealing.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door, only to find it open. This guy didn't even close the door. Something stirred in me as I stepped inside. Darkness. Goosebumps pricked my skin as I took another step before I flicked on the lights.
He isn't going to bite you. Not without your consent in the least. I thought as I roamed my eyes around the room. Everything's in its place. Nothing is broken, like no one is here. My breath hitched at the thought. Is this silence before the storm?
I walked to the balcony and there he was. Relief washed over me. He is safe at least. Looking at the moon that was shining brightly, exactly opposite to how our day went, the moonlight on his face made him look more handsome. Each of his features were highlighted by the moon, except his eyes.
They were dark, as dark as the night can be, except no stars and moon. Even the moon refused to reflect in his eyes. I don't know what is running in his mind. Everything in me screamed for me to run away and hide. But I didn't want to. He is my husband. We signed up for everything together.
Taking a shaky breath, I stood behind him, deciding on what to do. Do I massage his head? Kiss him? Make him sleep? Feed him? Talk? Cry for him? His shoulders tensed, like he knows I'm here. I think I might have talked so much that he is barely reacting. I wish I knew mind reading right now. No study skills, writing skills and hacking skills are going to help.
"Manik '' I whispered as I walked in front of him and sat on the chair right opposite to him, facing the moon but my eyes were only on him. He didn't react. HIs jaw was set tight, his hands clenched as he crossed his legs, his eyes burning with fire and his breaths slow and calm, like he was controlling not to break anything.
"She was twenty Nandini" I tried not to flinch at his words. Twenty years old, little girl.
"She was a sunshine girl, a happy one, a spoiled princess, but definitely not a brat. She has the same innocence I see in your eyes but I never thought that one night could snatch my sister forever" He spoke quietly and I felt touched.
This should be really hard for him to speak. The way he avoided me for a few days says that. But I don't know what is making him speak now.
"You don't need to do this Manik '' My voice was shaky, just like my insides and me at this moment. And I hate how weak I'm sounding, but I can't help it. That was the reason my memories have been snatched but everything flashes when others are talking.
He stood up suddenly, towering me. I almost jumped from the chair I was sitting on. Taking a step forward, he stood right in front of me, hiding everything from me.
When I thought he'd walk away or break something, because I don't know what to expect, he sat on the ground at my feet quietly and wrapped his hands around my waist as he rested his head on my lap, his moments quiet like a wolf in the night.
Like it has its own brain, my hand lifted, fingers running in his hair in gentle moves, trying to provide some comfort as another shiver ran through my spine at his touch. Calm down Nandini.
"She was twenty Nandini, she called me, I couldn't save her. She was hurt because of me. I wasn't even aware that she left the house that night until Mukti called me. I could have saved her" Tears rolled down his cheeks, making my heart clench.
"It's not your fault Manik" Tears stung my eyes. It's unbearable. I don't know how those days were for him when he hurted himself to sleep. The thought itself is so horrible.
"It is Nandini, only if I had been more careful I would have my sister in my arms right now, who would be teasing us and trying to gain your attention avoiding me" He sobbed harder.
Wiping my tears, I pressed my lips together, trying not to cry. Soha, I'm so sorry.
I know what I'm going to say is going to cause some disaster, but I'm willing to do it if he gets his reaction for what happened, or he is never going to move on.
"If that's the case, even if I'm at fault Manik, I was there at that moment, seeing her getting hurt, hearing her screams, seeing those beasts killing her soul, but even I couldn't save her" a sob broke through me as I thought about it.
My body froze at the thought of Mukti not calling Abhi and what would have happened to me. I breathed, trying not to panic.
His head shot up as he removed his hands before he stood up, retreating himself. His eyes turned a shade darker, looking completely black.
"You. Are. Not. At. Fault" He gritted his teeth, glaring at me before he walked away, his steps heavy and hard.