Iris:
Holy fuck. I stare up at him completely aghast from his seemingly out of the blue confession. He wants to touch me? What does a girl say to that? Of course other than denying that I don't want the same thing because as I stare past him, safely trapped against his front by his hands that lock around the bottom of my back, I know exactly what I want. But I can't meet his eyes because I can't have it. I can't have him.
"Dinner is on the table!" His mom yells from somewhere, successfully ruining the moment which I'm eternally thankful for. My eyes snap away from the colourful wall behind him and I catch a tick in his jaw as I clear my throat and pull away from him. "We should go" I look down, avoiding his gaze that I know is deeply unimpressed.
"Yeah we should" he mutters, creating distance between us as he moves toward the door. A coldness washes over me as I watch his retreating figure. With a deep breath in, I follow behind him until we reach the grand dining room where his family are already seated. Mr Jones sits at the head of the table with his wife to his left and his daughter to the right. Elias wordlessly takes a seat beside his mom while I go beside Poppy.
Everyone begins to eat as light chatter ensues around the table. Mrs Jones is kind enough to try and include me in the conversations by asking me many questions that I notice tend to be about my sisters and my father. I smile and answer politely, mostly having to lie to keep their opinions of my father positive. Having an alcoholic, abusive father isn't really family dinner talk is it?
"Gracie and Ava must be your fathers pride and joy. Twins are such a blessing" she gushes with a beaming smile that I can't reciprocate.
"Yes my father loves my sisters dearly" except for when he's got a beer in his system and he wants to draw me out by threatening their lives.
"And you of course I'm sure he's proud of you too" forcing a smile i nod stiffly. No one picks up on the bullshit I'm spewing as the conversation moves onto stories about the Jones kids.
"This one time I left a cheesecake out on the counter while I got ready and I came back to find a face shaped hole in the middle and Elias was sat there with his nice, white shirt completely ruined. The cheesecake was covering his entire face like one of my face masks!" She laughs loudly, along with her husband and her son who's cheeks tinge pink. I chuckle too, attempting to fit in with the picture perfect family when all I feel like is an outcast sat on the sidelines as I'm forced to watch what my family would of looked like if I wasn't in the picture.
"That wasn't the last cheesecake incident either," Mr Jones starts with a smile as he leans over the table to get closer to his family that eagerly listen to his story. "When poppy was three i found Elias feeding a spoonful of cheesecake to poppy between two scoops for himself while me and their mom were getting ready for dinner"
"Imagine my shock when I came downstairs and found both of my children and husband finishing off the cheesecake I had made twenty minutes earlier!" Mrs jones glares a pointed look at her husband who smirks.
"What can I say my wife is an excellent cook" his wife doesn't seem impressed until he leans over to plant a kiss on her cheek and she melts like butter in his arms.
"Just a cook?" She cocks an eyebrow with fake seriousness as I quietly take a bite of cheesecake.
"Among many other things like a kick ass lawyer" she hums pleased, the couple continue to share hushed words that I don't catch as a tug on my sleeve captures my attention.
"I like your hair" poppy whispers in a hushed voice as her brown, doe eyes peer up at me.
"Thank you I like yours too" she beams, a pink glow appearing on her cheeks until her face drops and she frowns. "But I don't have a ribbon"
"Well that's easily fixed" I gently place my spoon down and reach behind me. With a gently pull my hair cascades down and the black ribbon slips into my palm.
"May I?" I gesture toward her hair and she eagerly nods, turning in her seat to give me more access. The black ribbon wraps around the bottom of her two plaits easily as I tie it in another bow. "There you go but just so you know, you are beautiful without a ribbon or anything like it" I wink down at her, hoping that the important advice wouldn't sound too dull as most adult talk does to younger kids.
"Thank you" the smile I was waiting for reappears as she turns back to the table and looks over at her brother. "Psst" she hisses above her plate. "Psst" Elias finally gives her the attention she was hoping for as he raises his head to look at poppy. "What's up pops?"
"I like her" she cups her mouth and jabs her thumb in my direction like I can't see or hear her just because she doesn't want me to.
"Me too" he whispers back casually, like the two words didn't make my heart soar to the sky and plummet back down again.
"When you visit can Iris come too?"
"I don't know pops but I'd like her too" I can feel his eyes on me but I can't look. All I can think right now is another person, another person I'll let down when I'm gone. I can't come back here no matter what, poppy will forget about me within an hour and all will be good for the Jones family. As long as I'm not near them.
"You should marry her! Then she'll be in the family forever!" That's the last thing I'd ever want, another family to ruin.
"Me and you're brother are just friends" I inform the little girl who pouts disappointedly.
"But he looks at you like dad looks at mom"
"I'm sure he doesn't" her dad stuck around to raise a whole family and endure a life time of marriage while I couldn't keep a guy longer than a night in bed. I've never wanted that or anything more so it doesn't hurt me but it is a simple fact. Guys don't stick around for anybody like me.
"Mhm he does. He's been staring at you all this time" she leans over to reach up to my ear.
"It's kinda creepy" I laugh quietly as I watch her face scrunch up in disgust when her gaze travels back over to her brother. "Poppy finish your desert and then we can watch an episode of your favourite show before bed" Mrs Jones' words are enough encouragement to get poppy scarfing down her food and rushing into the kitchen to wash up.
Her mom and brother are quick to follow with their own dishes in hand. I stand to follow with my plate in one palm but am stopped before I can step away from my chair.
"You're a guest Iris you don't need to wash up" Mrs Jones tells me. "I really don't mind Mrs Jones-"
"Absolutely not and please it's Maria, I'm not fifty" she laughs and even that seems to be elegantly done. "Now go sit you're butt down" I'm ushered back into my seat where I sit rigidly and fidgeting with my nails under Mr Jones' unwavering eyes.
"So how did you and my son meet?" It may be down to my shitty father or just my over all bad experience with men but there's not much I hate more than making small talk with guys, especially fathers. "Well it was the first day of school, Elias fell over my bag in the hallway and it turns out he was also in my homeroom" he eyes me with an amused smile.
"And let me guess, he's been annoying you ever since?" I smile, chuckling as I relax slightly into my seat. "Something like that" he nods an easy smile adorning his lips that gives me the confidence to ask a question I had seriously hesitated to.
"I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I was just curious as to why Mrs Jones invited me to dinner" he studies me for a split second, chin resting on one of his knuckles as he does.
"call us Maria and Will please, anything else makes me feel like a grandpa" I bite my lip but nod nevertheless. It feels wrong to call them something so informal.
"And my wife does most things just because she wants to but I believe she invited you here because Elias has completely changed after starting at webbing. He's happier and doesn't act like the whole world is against him. We think that's because of you"
Oh wow that's completely wrong. I treat him terribly and I do it on purpose because I want him to leave and find someone worth his time and attention. The stupidly stubborn boy just doesn't seem to understand that.
"I assure you I'm not the reason. He's playing well in football and the boys all love him, maybe that's the why" I offer another reason that is actually plausible unlike Mr-sorry Will's first suggestion that is ridiculous.
"You doubt how much of an impact you have on people" he muses and I don't have the guts to argue back the truth. I know the impact I have and it's not good, it's never good.
"Dishes are all done! We are heading into the living room for some tv" Maria announces as she leads her children into the living room with her eldest picking me up on the way.
"Come on" he pulls me up and wraps an arm around my waist as we walk.
"I'm just going to get an Uber home so you can stay with your family" i speak quietly to avoid his parents hearing in the hopes that I can leave quietly and unnoticed.
"I'll drive you"
"No-"
"We came together, we leave together" he doesn't let me argue any further as he urges me further into the living room until we are stood before his parents. "We need to head back now before it gets any later" he announces with me stuck to his side. His mom is the quickest to react as she jumps in her seat.
"Nonsense you can't drive at this hour both of you can stay the night and drive or take the train home tomorrow"
"I need to get back to my sisters but I can find my way home alone it's okay" you would think I had killed her family by the look mrs jones gives me.
"Absolutely not. I'm sure your father can handle the girls for a night" he can. But his idea of 'handle' is completely different to hers.
"I really don't want to impose"
"You're not at all, come sit down we are watching the little mermaid" she pats the seat beside her that I hesitantly take. Elias sits beside me and soon enough poppy runs down the stairs in fresh pyjamas. She tucks herself between me and her brother for the entire movie that she sings along to. Elias even hums and bobs his head along to a few songs before we head upstairs.
"Night pops" Elias calls to his sister who runs up to him and hugs his legs.
"Goodnight! Can Iris read with me?" She glances between me and her mom.
"Iris needs to get to bed too poppy"
"I don't mind" Maria glances at me unsurely.
"You really don't have to"
"I want to" I assure and earn an excited squeal as poppy grabs my hand and drags me into her room which is an array of oranges and yellows.
"Which book do you want?" I look over my shoulder at poppy, who has jumped under her covers. "Any" with a hum I grab a book that has a purple and blue front cover. Poppy shuffles over so there is a space on her bed that I can lie on.
"Once upon a time..." for ten minutes I read aloud and within that time her head falls against my shoulder and her eyes drop closed. Before she completely falls asleep I hear a soft whisper,
"I like my brother better now you're here" i intake a sharp breath, waiting for her to softly snore before climbing off of her bed. When I turn to head out of the door I'm startled to find Elias leaning against the doorframe.
"I thought you went to bed" he shrugs watching me as I meticulously brush past him.
"I was waiting for you" I nod letting him walk in front of me. "Where am I sleeping?" The smirk that grows following my question only increases the anxiety in my heart. "My room" what?
"That can't happen! What about your parents"
"What are you afraid they'll hear?" His eyes glint with mischievous suggestion.
"Oh shush will you. Surely there is a spare room in this mansion" i throw my hands in random directions, gesturing to the large space with probably millions of empty rooms.
"Yes, there are many of them"
"Great! point me in the direction of one and I'll see you in the morning" he analyses me for a split second before extending his hand in the direction of a room at the very end of the hallway. With a relived breath of air I move in that direction until my hand holds the black doorknob.
A room consisting of a black bed centred in the middle of the room, grey walls and an assemblage of black, white and grey objects is revealed to me. It's a grand space that looks a little too well decorated to be a spare room.
"This is your room isn't it?" A warmth caresses my back as a whisper tickles my ear.
"It's both of ours for the night"
"Are you going to let this go?"
"Nope" I huff, my shoulders sagging as I give in.
"Fine I'll take the window seat" the space below the tall window is similar to mine but differs in size as mine is merely a third of the size.
"Iris-"
"Don't even try to argue" I raise my hand cutting him off as I mount the cushioned surface.
"Fine I'll get you some clothes to wear" he slips off into his massive walk in closet while I fish out my phone and dial Gracie's number. She picks up on the first ring.
"Where are you?!" My sister screams down the phone, panic lacing each syllable she speaks.
"Calm down i'm still at Elias' house"
"Oh okay are you going to be home soon?"
"Actually I might be sleeping over but just say the word and I'll be home as soon as possible" I make it a thing not to leave them home alone at night but on the odd occasion I won't be able to help it. Like right now I've got no other choice-if I want to keep my body functioning correctly without any broken bones or bruises.
"No of course not, it's a long drive and he's not home" relief hits me like a breath of fresh air. They are safe. Or at least they are for now.
"Okay but still call me if you need anything and I mean anything. Maybe I should just drive back I can be home in no time"
"No absolutely not. We are fine Iris. Perfectly fine. Enjoy your night and come back to us in the morning" an unsettling feeling nags at my gut because I hate the idea of leaving them alone and unprotected. If he decides to go home I won't be there to stop him from doing anything.
"You heard her Moore, you're staying here" his voice is close, too close and as I turn around I come face to face with a very sure Elias.
"I'll leave you both to it"
"No-" gracie shouts an I love you before cutting the call and leaving me to deal with the boy stood before me. He has a white T-shirt in one hand and a pair of his boxers in the other.
"What are they for?" He's already changed into s pair of joggers and annoyingly, no top. Although the sight of his chiselled chest does not give me much to complain about. "Your pyjamas" oh hell no. "I'm not wearing that" I point a disgusted finger toward my 'pyjamas'.
"If you wanna go naked I won't complain" my eyes narrow at his smug smile.
"Fuck off and go get me something else to wear"
"It's this or nothing" he shrugs like it's an easy choice while I intensify my glare.
"I hate you so much"
"No you don't"
"Yes, I do" he shakes his head with a smile that annoys me even more. "No You don't"
"Why are you so sure?"
"Because if you hated me you would of never read my sister a book before she slept"
"That's was for her not you"
"And you wouldn't be so nervous around my parents because if you hated me you wouldn't care what they thought about you" his words silence me because although he's partially correct, I'm also nervous because of him.
"Turn around" I finally bite back after an intense eye contact battle. He won. Elias raises his arms in mock surrender and with a triumphant smile turns around. He talks while I change into these stupid pyjamas he's given me.
"I didn't think you'd come today" he thinks aloud. "I didn't want to" i mutter back.
"My family love you" I'm highly doubtful of that.
"And they are normally very picky, especially my mom and poppy. My dad isn't much better he just doesn't speak much to anyone" this information doesn't surprise me, what does is the reason why they seem okay with me or at least pretend to be. I'd be happier if they hated me, it would make it much easier to stay away from Elias as at least then I could give him a good reason to leave me alone.
"You should be more like your dad" i joke and earn a laugh from him while I pull his T-shirt over my head. The black material drops to my mid thigh and makes me look like a child.
"I am like my dad. Just not with you" another thing I'll never understand.
Silence engulfs us as I edge backwards to lean my back against the window. "Can I turn?"
"No." My tone is dull.
"Are you still changing?"
"No"
"Then why can't I-" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead he turns around to face me.
"Are you gonna act like this all night?" He cocks a dark eyebrow while I shrug. "Maybe"
"It's a good thing you look far too hot in my clothes for me to care then" I roll my eyes and move to look out of the window instead of at his smug face. "Friends remember"
"Yes I know, friends. But our version of friends isn't the same as everyone else Moore" he's right of course. Normal friends wouldn't be thinking about what it would be like to do everything unholy with the other like I'm doing right now.
"Go to sleep newbie"
"Come to bed and I will" I don't respond and Elias doesn't force one out of me as he climbs into his bed, laying with his hands locked beneath his head. I tuck my knees to my chest and rest my forehead against the cold glass.
"Why did you choose me of all girls to annoy?" I glance at him but he doesn't look back at me.
"You're not like other girls. When I saw you I just knew there was something different about you"
"Bullshit" i deadpan causing his head to snap toward me. "What?"
"You heard me. I call bullshit. There's nothing different or special about me, especially not at first glance" he looks almost appalled at my words. "Firstly, you're wrong about what you just said but I'll admit there was something else that made me 'annoy' you, as you like to call it" with my full interest peaked I watch him sit up onto his elbows, gaze locked on me.
"It was your eyes, they weren't cold but numb when they caught mine for the first time and I couldn't help but wonder why. Now I see that you put on this act like you don't care about anything but really you care too much, about everything. I've seen the way you fuss over your sisters and all of our friends, like you're solely responsible for their happiness. But you're not and I think you're so worried about everyone else that you forget that you too need someone to make you happy. I'd more than happily be that someone, if you'll let me Moore" my mouth gapes open, it's like he's reading me as an open book. No one has ever understood me further than me simply being grumpy except for Bailey and Jake at times, but it took them years to do so. Elias has managed it in mere weeks.
"I can't make you happy" I quietly tell him.
"I've got enough happiness for the both of us" his offer is tempting, the idea of his brightness dulling the darkness following me around like a cloud above my head is dream worthy. But its exactly that, a dream. "I wish that was true"
"It is. Just give me a chance to prove it" his face portrays only genuine meaning but I learned from an early age that people will promise the world and give you misery.
"I can't"
"Why?" He persists.
"Because-" I sigh, raking a hand through my hair.
"because my life is unstable to stay the least" it also has an expiration date.
"I want your instability" a laugh crackles out of me as I let my head fall away from his eyes.
"No you don't"
"I do" he stalks over to me in measured steps, only stopping once he's crawled across the cushioned space and is knee to knee with me.
"You couldn't meet my eye earlier because you feel the same. What we have, whatever this is" he points from his chest to mine.
"It's worth fighting for, I know it and deep down so do you" I yearn to believe him and imagine that in some world I am worth fighting for but the truth lies, I'm not worth it and he would realise that only after I've caught feelings that are too deep to just erase.
His eyes search my own, looking for an answer I can't give him. "I'm sorry" his face falls, mirroring mine as I lower my gaze to my sock clad feet. "I'll wait for you" wait? I look up through my eyelashes to see his glum smile.
"You'll wait?" He nods, lifting my chin with his pointer finger before brushing across my cheek with feather like tips of his fingers.
"However long it takes, I'll wait Moore" I'll die while he's still waiting. "I hope one day you realise that you're worth more than waiting around for me" I tell him honestly and his eyes shine with something incomprehensible.
"I know my worth but I also know yours and it's so much more than you believe" I blink up at him, completely bewildered at the thought of someone thinking I'm worth more than a girl you can use to your own benefit.
"I think lack of sleep is making you delusional" he shakes his head, midnight hair tickling my forehead before he scoops me up into his arms. I yelp latching onto his neck to make sure I don't hit the ground like a brick. "Elias!" He has the audacity to laugh at me and I respond by slapping his chest. "This isn't funny!" Contradicting my words he continues to laugh before launching me onto his bed. I bounce a couple times in the middle of the mattress before my body goes limp and I blow my hair out of my face.
"Im not delusional but I do need some sleep and you do too so stop fighting me" he jumps onto the bed and rolls onto his side so he's facing me while I look up to the ceiling. "What were you like before you moved here?" I turn my head to face him with my hands resting against my chest.
His eyes drop almost unnoticeably before he clears his throat and answers my questions.
"A hot headed, ill tempered boy who thought the world was against him" hot headed. Ill tempered. My father. Letting another guy into my life with those similar characteristics to my father is not an option. I can't go through that with someone else because no matter how much an angry person promises they won't hurt you, in the end they always do.