"No I'm fine dad" Rosa walks out of the ballet studio while holding the cell phone to her ear, "Really. I'm fine. I'll be fine." She digs around in her bag, "Yep, promise, fly to New York to see your client. Sam and John B will still be there if anything is wrong." She pulls her car keys out of her pocket, "Okay, I love you too. Adios" she puts her phone away, causing her keys to fall to the floor. "Mierda" she curses as she bends down and grabs the key, her eyes get caught in an alley and she furrows her eyebrows as she sees JJ and some Pogue making out in the alley.
Her body freezes in place and she looks at the boy, she loves to most, making out with some Pogue Bitch. She swallows thickly before she grabs her keys while scraping them over the floor extra loudly while she scoffs. JJ looks confused at the sound of the key and quickly disengages from the girl. He looks at Rosa who looks at him hurt and then walks away.
"Rosa! Wait!" JJ jogs after her, but Rosa quickly closes the car door and immediately drives off, JJ still tries to reach the door handle, but to no avail.
After Ward blew himself up, the two didn't exchange a word or see each other again. Rosa was either at school, cheerleading, ballet or with Sarah. She didn't even see John B only talked to him on the phone.
She wipes away a tear and drives to the first person that comes to mind. She parks her car in front of a black and white mansion and immediately notices that only his car is there. Not his parents' cars, so she gets out and knocks on the door. She fidgets a bit until Noah opens the door and looks at her confused but smiles, "Hey?" Rosa looks into his eyes for a moment before taking a step toward him and pressing her lips onto his. She puts her hands on his cheeks, and Noah breaks away from her for a moment to look at her. Rosa looks him in the eye, causing him to grab her by the waist and pull her back towards him, he pushes her into the kitchen without releasing his lips from hers for even a second. Rosa holds onto his neck and walks backwards into the kitchen, he lifts her up and sets her down on one of the counters while standing between her legs. Rosa grins against his lips and then deepens the kiss, which Noah immediately reciprocates, having waited years for this moment.
He pushes the bowl of fruits off the counter and presses her further back as he kisses her. Rosa breaks away from him and strokes his lips with her thumb, he looks into her eyes and then lifts her up with a grin to carry her to his room. Rosa holds onto him and laughs as he kicks open the door to his room, he sits her down on his desk smirking and starts kissing her neck, Rosa leans her head back and breathes harder. She closes her eyes and bites her lips. Noah's hands move from her hips to her ass and he pulls her closer. Rosa gently lifts his head before pressing her lips to his again. Noah strokes her back and kisses her gently but also filled with lust.
He gently kisses the Amor lettering she has tattooed on her clavicle, Rosa closes her eyes as he strokes her thigh and the P4L tattoo. Suddenly the only thing she can see is JJ leaning over her and looking her body up and down before looking into her eyes. The only thing she can feel is JJ's touch. The only thing she can smell JJ's scent of sea salt, weed and cheap perfume. The only thing she can taste are JJ's lips on top of hers and his tongue colliding with hers. The only thing she can hear are JJ's moans. She lightly pushes Noah away, breathing heavily. She looks at him with tears in her eyes, which immediately makes him feel bad, "Hey... I'm so sorry. Did I do something wrong?" He looks at her worriedly, but she immediately shakes her head, "No. That's not it. I-" she looks away and he carefully tries to put his hand on her arm, but she takes a step back, "I can't do this. I'm so sorry, Noah. Please don't hate me" she looks at him crying knowing full well whenever she didn't wanted to have sex with Rafe he would scream at her. JJ never did that but because he's the only boy Rosa has met that wasn't just being nice to her to fuck she's not sure how Noah will react.
He shakes his head, "What? Rosa no. I don't hate you" he gently raises his hand, "Come here" he opens his arms and Rosa takes a step towards him while hugging him and crying „I'm so sorry. I didn't wanted to hurt you." Noah holds her tight and strokes her back "I know" he strokes her head and pulls his eyebrows together cause he never ever saw Rosa like that. She always was this strong girl, who never cried or complained about anything. He never knew that she's so broken and hurt „Everything is fine. Calm down Lia. I'm not angry or hurt okay? Everything is good. Please calm down." He kisses the top of her head and sighs softly because he never thought that it would hurt him the way it does to see her like that.
She sits down on Noah's bed with a sigh and looks down at her hands while tears run down her cheeks, Noah looks at her and squats down in front of her legs before taking her hands in his "What's wrong Lia?" His voice is soft and concerned. She looks down at her hands resting in his before her gaze drifts to his eyes, "I just don't know what to feel. When did it end? All the enjoyment? There's nothing I enjoy more. Cheerleading, ballet, parties or shopping. It's like there's this huge void in my body, and it's getting bigger every day. Think I forgot how to be happy." Noah looks at her while stroking her hands, "Since when do you have this feeling?"
"The first time I felt the feeling of emptiness was when mom disappeared, and it got bigger every month when I got together with Rafe. When John B told me my mom and his dad were dead, it felt like it was eating my body from the inside for the first time. I thought I was suffocating because it felt like it filled my whole body" She looks at him and falters for a moment before fully admitting to Noah "and after Rafe tried to strangle me it started again. And again when he made JJ break up with me. From that moment on, I knew it was only going to get worse. Where JJ ended the relationship, I felt nothing for weeks. Neither joy nor anger, nor sadness. I was empty. I felt nothing until a few days ago. That's when I felt again for the first time... fear and panic. When I couldn't breathe because Rafe was trying to drown me. But at that moment I also felt that I don't want to die. I want to live, and I want to feel something good again. Well, and then Ward blows himself up. You'd think that since my mom's killer is dead, the emptiness in me would diminish, but no, when I saw Sarah... crying and screaming" she closes her eyes while Noah looks at her bewildered "it got bigger again. And then when I also see JJ moving on with his life without me, and apparently it's easy for him that I'm not a part of his life anymore..." She looks down, "I just don't know if I can ever be happy again, Noah."
Noah stands and puts his arms around her, he hugs her tightly, "Shit Rosa, you should have told me about this sooner. Have you told anyone how you feel?" He looks down at her without letting go, Rosa shakes her head, "No." He strokes her back and sighs softly, "You need help. Okay? Whether it's from a therapist or from me. It doesn't matter, but we need to get rid of this emptiness somehow. Fuck, and if I see Rafe again, I'm going to kill him." Rosa closes her eyes and hugs him tighter while tears run down her cheeks.
Rosa parks her car on the driveway in the evening and pushes open the front door, "Sarah?" She calls through the house and when no response follows she calls again "Sam?! Is anyone here?!" She shoves the front door shut behind her and puts her car keys in a bowl on a dresser, "Hello?!" She waits a few seconds and then sighs softly, she jogs into her room and packs up a few things before heading back outside where she picks up her bike and rides off.
She immediately slows down when she sees Rafe on his balcony talking on the phone and her breath catches, "What the fuck..." she mumbles to herself, having expected Rafe to have been arrested. She watches him disappear into the house and clenches her teeth.
If Rosa is known for one thing, it's that she is the queen of revenge. She leans her bike quietly against the wall and sneaks onto the property and out to the garage. She opens one cabinet after another until she finally finds it. A canister of gasoline, she grabs it and looks at it for a moment, "Fuck it..." she walks out of the garage and over to Rafe's Range Rover. A grin forms on her lips when she sees that the window from the driver's seat is open. She spreads the gasoline inside the car as best she can, and then pulls her lighter out of the pocket of her sweatpants. She gulps and then lights it before throwing it into the car and running off. She grabs her bike and looks at the burning car that lights up the darkness. And this fire she sees, she feels in her body as well. The corners of her mouth twitch, and she looks at the fire for a moment before jumping on her bike and riding off quickly. She rides the way to the Cut and grins widely as she feels real joy for the first time in a long time. She screams once in delight and pedals faster.
She throws her bike on the floor in front of the Château and storms into the living room, where John B is lying on the sofa. She looks at him and grins widely, "Dude!" He sits up confused and looks at her, "What are you doing here? It's almost midnight." She looks at him "I set Rafe's car on fire" she laughs and looks at him happily, he tears his eyes open in shock "You what?!" She laughs and holds her hands in front of her mouth, "Yeah! I figured, fuck him, and then I set his fucking car on fire!" John B looks at her and then laughs too, "Shit Rosa he'll know right away it was you." She shrugs, "I don't care" she sits down next to him and grins for a while, "Have you seen Sarah?" John B looks at her "She broke up with me" he looks away and Rosa turns to him in shock "Wait... what?!" He nods and tears slowly from in his eyes, "Why?" She immediately takes him in her arms.
"She says it's too complicated and that it would have made me happy to watch her dad blow himself up. But he did kill my dad and your mom after all" she looks at him and sighs softly "I mean yeah but seeing her so broken that..." she tries to find the right words „I've never seen her like that, and I don't know I didn't even have a shred of joy in me at that moment, but even if you did, I can't blame you... I'm sorry she broke up with you" she looks at him and wipes away the few tears on his cheeks. He nods and looks at her, "How did you manage to deal with JJ breaking up with you? I could use some tips."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I still can't fucking deal with that" she laughs lightly, John B looks at her for a moment and then laughs a little too and hugs her "At least we have each other..." She looks at him and smiles slightly at his words "Yes" she nods "At least we have each other Johnny." She settles into his arms and closes her eyes "You really smell like beer" she mumbles softly causing soft laughter "Sorry. The Pogues-" he is interrupted as the terrace door flies open, Rosa flinches and sits up startled. She looks at JJ, who is standing in the living room finishing his can of beer. Kie and Pope come into the living room as well.
"Oh hey" Kie smiles slightly at them, "I haven't seen you here for a while..."Rosa also smiles slightly "Hey, yeah I know, sorry. It's been-" she sighs, "there's been a lot going on." Kie nods and smiles, "good to see you." Rosa returns the smile and then stands up, "Okay ehm I'll head back home then. Five of us in that little house will probably be hard to spend the night."
Kie immediately shakes her head, "No stay. I was going to sleep outside on the couch and Pope in the hammock. Then you can either sleep in John B's bed or on the sofa here" she smiles and Rosa thinks a bit "Okay."
John B stands up, "You can sleep on the sofa with JJ. You always take up the whole bed" he nods and walks to his bedroom, "Good night."
JJ looks after him speechless for a moment and then at Kie and Pope who are making themselves comfortable outside "Great" he mumbles and Rosa looks at him "I'm going home JJ all good" she picks up her bag, but JJ gently holds her by the arm. She looks at him and he shakes his head. He takes the bag from her hand and then lies down on the sofa, she looks at him and then lies down too but turns her back to him just as he does. She closes her eyes and doesn't even need 1 minute to fall asleep by the smell of JJ.
Rafe grabs her again and pushes her deeper into the container, Rosa claws at his arms and the water already reaches her hair. Her toes are merely on the ground, and she looks piercingly at Rafe while tears stream down her cheeks "It's.... it's... it's Rosalía" she hyperventilates "It's your Rosa. Please... please don't." Rosa holds onto his top, and he looks at her for a moment, tears also forming in his eyes, and he shakes his head, "What about me? Huh? You chose Maybank over me and fucked him! You tried to replace me with him!" He yells at her and Rosa shakes her head in panic, "No! I'm sorry! Rafe, please!" He looks deep into her eyes and shakes his head, "You never loved me, otherwise you would have fought for us!" Rosa looks at him with wide eyes and more tears run down her cheeks, "I adored you, Rafe! I loved you more than anything and ditched every boy for you that was ever interested in me! I fought every day and kept my mouth shut so many times just so we wouldn't fight again! You manipulated and hurt me every day and I still stayed! You just didn't stop, and that's why-" "No! I would have killed for you because I still love you as much as I did on day one! It's all your fault because you didn't want to fight anymore! You didn't want the relationship because you'd rather fuck a Pogue!" he pushes her further towards the water and Rosa clings to his arms while whimpering in fear, "Please stop!" she screams, crying, but Rafe just shakes his head. "You will never hurt me again, and I will be the last boy you kissed" he looks at her and presses a kiss on her lips "Goodbye Rosa" he grabs her, and she shakes her head "No!" with the words he pushes her whole upper body into the container filled with water. As he holds her a little looser, she pushes up a little with her arms and screams while gasping for air, Rafe immediately grabs her tighter and pushes her deeper "This is what you get, Rosa. This is what you get" Rosa screams underwater and tries to somehow push herself above water, causing Rafe to get even angrier and squeeze her tighter and press a hand around her neck to get the air out of her more while he pushes her, he growls.
Rosa jerks up „No!" she presses her hands onto her lung and keeps gasping for air in a panic. JJ turns sleepily to her and his eyes immediately widen, he sits up, "Hey..." Rosa's breathing between the gasps gets faster and smaller. "Hey Rosa..." He puts his hand on her back "Hey... look at me" he gently turns her face towards him and she looks at him with panic in her eyes, she gasps for air causing him to put his hand on her cheek "Everything is fine. You're safe here" he looks deep into her eyes, "Relax, I'm here." She looks into his eyes and her breathing slowly calms down, JJ nods and continues to look into her eyes as well, "Good. Breathe calmly" he strokes her hair and she breathes more normally after a few minutes. She looks at her hands and tries not to cry, which is why she closes her eyes.
JJ eyes the girl and gently pulls her into his arms as he lies down with her, she looks at him uncertainly, but he smiles gently, "Come here." She looks at him and then lets him pull her into his arms, she lays her head on his chest and closes her eyes "Thank you" she whispers causing JJ to stroke her back "Always Rosa" he whispers as well and she slowly relaxes in his arms. JJ stays awake and keeps on stroking her back until he can feel that she's falling asleep again. He slowly closes his eyes and pulls her closer to him while breathing in her scent which makes him miss nights like this even more. Nights where he can hold his girl and be there whenever she had a nightmare again, because let's be honest that shit happened a lot lately. Nights where the two had sex and then cuddled while watching gossip girl until they fall asleep. Nights where they both stroke each others backs and just showed love to each other. He would do anything to have that back but he's to fucking scared that he will get hurt or he will hurt Rosa. Because if JJ didn't learn one thing in his life, it is to love someone and much more to be loved. Even though Rosa loves him more than anything he's still scared that she will hurt him.
Author's note:
New chapter everyone!! Thank you for all your love and support on my books. I know I said it a lot but I appreciate it so fucking much! It means so much to my that people take their time to read my stories. So thank you with all my heart! 🤍