the moment I saw you
it was as if
white wings surrounded you,
a halo was settled on your head
and soft, smooth lips seemed
as if they've never told a lie
for they were turned up
in the sweetest smile ever
when you spoke
your words were like honey
which I couldn't help but fall for
but, then your wings turned black,
the halo shattered
the smile disappeared
your sweetness turned bitter
where you once left flowers
now all you leave are thorns
that make me bleed
instead of smile
yet, I couldn't help
but keep falling in love
with you
over and over
no matter the pain
i thought I could forget
what you made me feel
but I was wrong
and now you're back
my not so innocent Angel
From Louis, to Harry, June 26, 2014.
___
"Can't you see? I survived without you before, I have survived all this time and I will continue to survive without you!" Louis continued.
"But I can't survive without you Louis! I can't, I'm sick of trying, I'm a selfish bastard! I'm not gonna let you walk away from this room until you believe me. I don't care if I have to tie you up to this chair or something. You will listen and you will understand,'' Harry finally shouted back.
''Stop trying to control me! I'm not yours Harry, I doubt if I ever even was in the first place-" Harry grabbed Louis' face and crashed their lips together.
Louis bit hard on Harry's lower lip making Harry back off. "Do that again and I will scream,'' Louis spat wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Though his lips did tingle from touching Harry's but he reminded himself that here was the man who broke him.
Harry walked forward, his lower lip slightly bleeding now and chest rising and lowering repeatedly.
"What if,''
''Harry please," Louis said knowing where this was going, ''Don't,''
"What if I said,'' and Harry raised his wrist to Louis' face, so that Louis could see the small, black cursive L.
''What if's break your heart,'' Louis mumbled, looking away from the mark that will forever be on Harry's skin...that will forever remind Harry of Louis.
"What if I look you right in those pretty blue eyes of yours that I have missed so much,'' and Harry tilted Louis' chin up with the same hand. "What if I said, that I never stopped loving you? What if I said that you never left my mind? What if I said that you can hate me all you want but I will never stop loving you," Harry murmured, his face coming closer to Louis.
"I am going to ask you to do one thing for me Lou, okay? You left to forget me, when you said that you could never walk away from me even if you wanted to. You are not the only one that is hurting here! You are not the only one who has been in pain the past years, so stop being so f.cking selfish and realise that there are two people in this relationship. I have been truthful with you when you asked me to be..when I realised how horrible I was. Why would I lie about Alexa? It is easy, I wouldn't. What happened was a mistake, and I tried telling you that, that night. Ever since I kissed you, I've never wanted anyone else Lou, and I am sorry that I was stupid not to act on those feelings from the beginning, but I just need you to know that I love you. I love you and have missed you so much, an you hurt me when you chose to walk away that day-"
"You hurt me too! That's all you ever do!" Louis interrupted him.
"Listen to me, just another minute,'' Harry replied calmly. "You are the only one I have ever truly loved, the only one who has ever brought the good in me, the only one who has made me realise that what I was doing was not good! Now look at where I am, I made it to the top because of you, otherwise who knows what would have happened,"
"Well, I am glad that you have such an amazing life, when on the other hand you ruined mine! I was in so much pain, I couldn't concentrate on my own life for the longest time, because you were always there, my mind was always on you. I just wanted to forget you and I couldn't even do that. I gave up everything for you Harry, EVERYTHING,'' Louis stated, backing away from Harry, "I got better slightly as time went by, but guess what? I got kicked out of my home, and I live in some shitty apartment, the only good thing you ever did for me was made me realise f.ck the rules, f.ck society, and f.ck love, it is all a load of bullsh.t anyways." He shook his head and looked away, before reaching for the door.
"Wait, just do one final thing for me," Harry exclaimed.
Louis didn't say anything, instead he looked up at Harry and gasped at what he saw. Harry looked worn out and sad, dark circkles were under his eyes and he was pale than usual, his hair was so long now and he ran a hand through it when his eyes looked down to meet Louis'.
Harry stepped forward, "I need closure, to never think that maybe we could have saved us. So tell me...tell me you don't love me, say it Lou and rest assured I will do everything in my power to never see you again. Tell me you don't love me and farewell,'' Harry whispered.
Louis could fall his heart thumping in his chest, and his mind going in many directions. Harry's eyes looked so sad, so lost and broken. Louis wanted to cry, to grab Harry and kiss him, and tell him it will be okay, they can work things out. They will!
In the end Louis spoke, he couldn't look Harry in the eyes though and he hoped Harry did not notice, and whatever was left of his heart broke into smithereens with every word, "I stopped loving you a long time ago," and Harry didn't flinch, instead he nodded, and Louis turned around, slipping past the door and away from the man he will never stop loving too, but knew was never going to be good for him.
___
I got a heart and I got a soul. Believe me I will use them both.
We made a start be it a false one, I know.
Baby, I don't want to feel alone.
Harry watched Louis walk away, and in one moment he knew what he had to do.
Louis wasn't that far from him when Harry caught up and pushed him against the building.
"You didn't look me in the eyes when you said it Lou," Harry whispered, and that's when Louis broke down in his arms.
So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks. A long way from the playground.
"You aren't good for me Harry," Louis cried out, though he clung to Harry tighter, afraid this was all a dream and he'd walk yet again in another strangers bed.
"I'll give up everything, just as long as you stay by my side," Harry whispered, kissing away Louis' tears.
I have loved you since [you] were 18. Long before we both thought the same thing.
To be loved and to be in love, all I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you.
I wanna love you like you made me feel when [you] were 18.
"I have never questioned my love for you, I've hidden it and tried to push it away, but I was foolish to. I knew from the very first day that you would be someone special to me, don't walk away Lou. I wouldn't 've able to live with myself if I let you walk away,"
We took a chance, God knows we tried. Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine.
"I've missed your lips, your nose, your laugh, your kiss, your thoughts, your Love. I've been so cold without you Lou, so cold. You are my light, my world, my happiness,"
So pour me a drink, oh, love, let's split the night wide open and we'll see everything. We can live in slow motion, motion, motion
"The thought of you with anyone else fills me with so much dread and I know it's all my fault that you're like this. I broke you, but I know I can fix you, let me fix you. because together, we are one,"
So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks. A long way from the playground.
"I love you, I love you, and I will never stop loving you. you are my one and only, my love, my everything. Screw people who try to keep us apart, I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. Don't run away from me, please. I love you so much Lou," and harry kissed Louis, and Louis kissed back, tasting salt from tears that were coming from Harry's own eyes that were on his lips.
I have loved you since [you] were 18. Long before we both thought the same thing.
To be loved and to be in love, all I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you.
I wanna love you like you made me feel when [you] were 18.
"It's been you Lou, it's always been you from the start," Harry whispered against Louis' lips.
When [you] were 18, oh Lord, when [you] were 18.
"Spent so many days thinking about you, about us, about how if I could go back I would go back and change what I did. I will regret hurting you for the rest of my life, but if I let you walk away from me today, that is something I can't do. You belong with my Lou, only me,",
So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks. A long way from the playground.
"I don't care about the past two years because for me, anytime spent without you is pointless,"
I have loved you since [I] was 18. Long before we both thought the same thing.
"Tell me will you ever love me again?" Harry whispered, leaning towards Louis who was a mess beside him.
Louis sighed in defeat, with Harry it would always be pointless to fight against him.
"I should hate you and walk away, at this point I should hate you, but for whatever f.cked up reason...I don't," Louis told him, reaching up to touch Harry's face, running his finger across Harry's lips.
To be loved and to be in love.
Thunder crashed above them, and Louis could see the view of people running to take cover as it began to pour. But, at this moment it was Harry who mattered.
It would always be Harry who mattered the most.
All I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you
"I hate that I still love you, I would love to walk away, to get up and never see you again but the mere thought of that has me dying on the inside. I'd love to hate you and walk away, but I can't Harry. I can't, I could barely do it that day, I can't do it right now. I can't give up on loving you, I said that I hate you and don't want you, but the truth is, the truth will always be that I need you,"
"It's been two cold and lifeless years Lou, fill my life with warmth and happiness once more?"
"I wanna love like you made me feel when I was 18," Louis finally said.
Harry smiled, and though it rained and thundered around them, all that either really cared about was that finally.
They were together.
Which showed that nothing could tear them apart in the end
___
Not all stories have happy endings.
But, if you really want one, then yeah, you'll get it.