18 November , 2021
📍Doha, Qatar
Calina let her head fall to rest on her hands, hoping that staring more intensely at her iPad would help her not get distracted by the seemingly never ending yawning beside her.
"You know if you were so tired, I could've driven."
Lella glanced over at the driver briefly, before returning her gaze to the vast road ahead of her. All around them, the vast desert of Qatar stretched out around them as they travelled further out of the city. Nina spent most of the drive looking at her notes from hours of practice in the simulator, looking for something that could calm her down.
"No, I'm fine, Calì. I was just up a little earlier today, that's all," Lella replied, rubbing her eyes briefly. Calina shrugged, sliding the iPad into her bag, seeing as it was no use, and they were not far from the track. It was a bit shocking, seeing as Lella was normally an early riser, but earlier than normal was a bit concerning.
"Well, what's the plan for today?" Calina asked, slipping her sunglasses onto her face. The sun was bright, too bright, even on an early November morning.
"Well, you have your media duties, I just have to set up my things in your room, and then I was thinking of heading out once I'm done. I'm just really not feeling good today."
Calina nodded in understanding, watching as they passed under the exit sign for the circuit.
"I can get a ride with Gigi later. I promised to stay and help them out. If you can't this weekend, I can manage on my own. I can do my warmup on my own, or I'll see if Mari can help, or someone. I'd rather you rest if you need to."
"Calì, I'm fine. You don't need to be worrying so much, okay? It'll pass."
They were relatively early to arrive, since Lella always liked to be early, yet Calina could see that many team members, of both Pagani and the others, were already arriving. The Losail International Circuit was a new track for everyone, and Calina could only assume her team wasn't the only one that wanted to gather as much information as they could before the race.
Along with her own backpack, Calina grabbed Lella's duffle bag that was in the back of the car.
"Calina, I can bring it," her trainer protested.
"Lella, no." Calina meant it in a joking matter, but she was also serious. The older woman rolled her eyes, but obliged nonetheless, and led Calina into the paddock.
Media day was also busy, and seeing they were at a new track, on top of the buzz surrounding the World Cup that would be hosted in Qatar the following year, Calina just knew that this media day would be even longer than usual.
"Cal!" The voice came from the Mercedes hospitality, and when she turned, Calina saw Susie Wolff waving her down. Calina had known Susie for a while, the former driver being longtime friends with her uncle from their DTM days. Susie would often visit Bastien and Ivelle when Calina would spend some weekends at his house in Lecco, Toto even accompanying her on some occasions.
"Go," Lella said, reaching out for the bag Calina held.
"You're not holding this." Calina spotted Tobias, who was just walking into the paddock with a few of the other Pagani mechanics. He jogged over when he saw the driver waving at him. "Toby, can you take this for Lella? She's not feeling well."
"Sure thing, Cal." Calina smiled in amusement as her trainer shook her head, before following the mechanic down the paddock.
Susie was sitting at a table in front of the building, a delicious-looking breakfast spread out on the plate she was eating from. She was dressed impeccably, as always, in just a simple white button-up and blue jeans. She had her laptop out, likely working on some items for her Formula E team.
"Hey, Susie." Calina embraced the older woman, but she wasn't sure if she was even allowed anywhere near another teams' building. Susie could probably notice her hesitation, because she let out a lighthearted, amused laugh.
"Darling, don't worry! We're not going to get fined for talking," Susie said. "I've been talking to B but I always miss you!"
"I know, he told me. I'm so sorry but this is a crazy time for all of us." Understatement of the year.
Susie smiled in response, and pulled out a chair for Calina to sit, patting it gently.
"I'd love to, but I've got a meeting with the engineers." Calina felt bad, but she really didn't want to hear it from Melissa.
"Got it," Susie replied. "I'll let you go, but are you free tonight? Maybe we could get dinner at the hotel?"
Calina nodded, recalling seeing Lewis walk into the hotel only hours after she had arrived with her own team.
"Yeah, of course." It would be good to sit down with Susie after barely seeing the older woman all year. "I should be there for eight or nine. I promised my chief mechanic I'd help the crew tonight."
In her pocket, Calina's phone rang out, the specific tone she had put for Marco's contact blaring out.
Susie laughed at the way Calina's face fell.
"Go, Cal. I don't want to get you in trouble."
Jogging up the the end of the row of identical makeshift buildings, the black-and-red sign of the Pagani team quickly came into view, and just as she reached the door, she could see her team boss shaking hands with a young man, a tuft of blond hair held back by a pair of sunglasses, and an unmistakable logo of two bulls on the navy blue polo shirt he wore.
Calina watched in slight surprise as Dennis Hauger, a Red Bull Junior Driver walked out of her team's hospitality and back towards the other end of the paddock, after offering him a simple 'morning'. Marco soon approached her, a satisfied smile plastered on his face, eyes shining brightly behind his glasses.
"Hi, Calina," he said, as if everything was alright in the world. "Fine morning, no?"
"Why—what was Dennis doing here?"
"Oh, you haven't heard the news?" Marco made his way back inside the air conditioning, his office in a small room off to the side of the main area. Calina stood in the doorway, still surprised and very confused as she watched her boss sit down in his chair.
"What news?"
"Well, given we're just doing so well this year, Horacio wants to expand the Pagani Racing family—"
"I know he didn't call it a family. That's all you." Marco's hands fell into his lap, his expression one of unamusement.
"Let me have this, please? Anyways, as I was saying, we're doing pretty good so far, and if things keep going well, Horacio wants to start expanding the team in the coming years."
"Expand? Like, beyond Formula One?" Calina asked. It was all happening very quickly, but she knew this would be good for the team.
"Exactly. He wants to look at other racing series. Formula E, the endurance series." Marco set his glasses down beside his open laptop. "He wants to start first though with the junior drivers."
"So you two thought that stealing Red Bull Juniors would be a good place to start?"
Marco's expression changed to serious, a clear indication he wasn't appreciating Calina's sarcasm.
"Before you start with your smartass remarks, Dennis was the one to come to us."
Calina's eyes widened in even more shock.
"No, you're joking."
"I'm serious," her team principal replied. "The kid came to me in Austin as I walked by Red Bull, said he wanted to come speak to me. We agreed to meet here, because he was going to be with Red Bull. He wanted to talk about coming to Pagani, said he was thinking of leaving them, because there's too many drivers in their academy, and he doesn't think he can benefit from it like he used to."
"Well that would be good for us, no? Especially if we're breaking from Mercedes next year. We can have a third driver."
It would be good for the team to have a third driver who would actually be accustomed to their car, and not to mention it would mean that Calina wouldn't have to go into the factory as often.
"Yes. It would be good to have some extra hands on board, but we were thinking of something more along the lines of an academy."
"You want to start an academy?" Calina asked, crossing her arms as she leaned against the doorway.
"Uh, yes. We were hoping to," Marco replied. He was clearly confused by her question. "Do you have an issue with that?"
"No, I'm all for it Marco, but it's way too early. No one's going to join the academy for a team that started only three years ago."
Marco's eyes widened as he had his moment of realisation.
"Like, no offence, or anything," Calina added. "And as much as I think Dennis is good, he just won Formula Three, like, two months ago. He needs a bit more time before we throw him into a reserve role. You can bring him onto the team, if he really wants to, but I wouldn't advertise that we have an academy."
"No, no, I get where you're coming from. I'll let Horacio know what you think," Marco said. "I figured it was all moving a bit too fast."
"You can't get it started for next year, but definitely the year after. Find maybe someone who's willing to work on a plan with you guys, like a retired driver. Doesn't have to be Formula One, but someone who's been through the junior system and knows. Someone who can give advice well."
"Thanks, Cal. I'll let him know what you think." Marco replied, typing quickly on his laptop before he shut it, directing his complete, undivided attention on his driver. The Team Principal eyed his driver carefully, his eyes narrowing as his expression morphed into one of mild concern.
"Everything okay, Cal? You look a bit tense."
Calina drew her gaze away from Marco's, finding an interest in the soles of her Jordan 1s. She crossed her arms, kicking the carpeted floor lightly.
"I'm fine."
She didn't even have to look up at her boss to know he wasn't satisfied at all by her statement.
"Calina, I already spoke to Nico. He told me what you guys talked about," Marco said, and Calina could only sigh. If Nico talked, then he would definitely know about the whole ordeal with Mohammed Ben Sulayem.
"Marco, it's not something you need to worry about," she said, rubbing her temples in frustration.
"Are you—Calina, if I had known it was him, I would have gone to Todt." Marco was not one to anger easily, but it was clear here that he was quite annoyed. "Calina, he threatened to have the team fined, and you suspended from driving for what happened."
Calina sighed in defeat, her arms falling as the realisation hit her. Mohammed Ben Sulayem must have contacted Marco after she had argued with him. Pulling out one of the chairs that was in front of his desk, she sunk into it, her hands holding her head. Before she even realised, tears were already forming in her eyes.
"I didn't mean—if I knew this was gonna affect the team, I wouldn't have—I'm sorry, Marco."
"Cal, I spoke with Marilena; she was there when I was with Nico. She told me she was with you." Marco's tone was much gentler now as he seated back into his seat behind the desk. "Honestly, I don't blame you, from what I heard happened."
Calina didn't look up, but she could hear Marco sigh after a moment, and then his chair dragging against the floor. She felt a warm hand meet her back, moving gently, soothingly.
"I know you're under a lot of pressure, Cal, but let us take care of this, okay?" Marco's voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. "We can go to them, see if they'll investigate—."
"Right. You want to go to the F.I.A. so they could investigate an F.I.A. director. Good luck with that, Marco." Calina stood up to leave, but she stopped herself before she even had a foot out the door. She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, because she had just realised that she was being far too harsh on the older man.
"Marco, I'm sorry, but I've got a lot going on and I really don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"
Marco simply nodded. He didn't look angry or annoyed with Calina at all, but more sympathetic, than anything else.
"Just take it easy today, 'kay kid?" He moved back to the chair behind his desk, opening his laptop once more. "I need you to be good for these last few races."
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"There she is. I thought you were going to ditch me, Cal!"
Calina had been texting with Susie all day, as much as her busy schedule would allow, and they had agreed upon meeting later in the night for just a casual chat. She found the older woman seated at a small table in the lounge area of the hotel lobby, this time, her laptop absent from the table in front of her, replaced by a glass of an amber-coloured, slightly opaque liquid.
"I'm sorry. Got caught up, you know? Interviews, and such."
"Let me guess: they were all unannounced and last minute?" Susie rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink.
"I'm assuming you got the same?" Calina chuckled as she set her backpack down on the floor, sinking into the plush sofa. "I don't get what that's all about? I had to delay all my meetings, so I had to stay even later to help the team, too."
"Yeah, they like to do that to you," Susie sighed. "I ordered you a tea, if that's all right. I know you can't drink, but I wasn't sure what else you wanted. I remembered you like tea."
"Tea is perfect, thank you." Calina saw a waiter approaching them, carrying a tray with a mug, tea bag, and boiling water. He prepared it all there for her, before leaving them be.
"I've been meaning to organise this for so long, Cal. I'm so sorry."
"We're all busy, it's fine. I mean, you are running a Formula E team." Bastien had mentioned to her back in Monaco that Susie was looking to go out for dinner, have a chat, check in on her racing season so far, but Calina had been so busy with everything that had been going on that it completely slipped her mind. "It's really nothing, Susie. Don't worry."
Susie smiled appreciatively, taking a sip of her drink.
"So, tell me everything! What's going on with you?"
Calina filled Susie in on everything from the past year: from her relationship, to the team, to the craziness of Monza and the article, though she decided to leave out some of the finer details. Susie was near speechless with shock as Calina finished.
"Damn, I didn't know it was that bad," the older woman said. "But you're all good though?"
"I mean, now I am," Calina replied, though she was still conflicted about it. "I don't know. I just—I want everything to be over so that I can go home and just relax."
"Yeah, your uncle said you were struggling a bit."
"Susie, I just don't understand how one season can be so chaotic." If this was what every season was going to feel like, Calina didn't know how long she would last.
Susie nodded, seeming to agree with Calina.
"No, no, I get it," she said. "This is all a bit chaotic, and you feeling like that is valid. This season is a bit different, but I think it'll be good for you."
Calina looked at Susie, puzzled by her statement.
"In a sense, I mean," Susie clarified.
"Susie—Like, okay, fine, we did have some good moments, but this season has left me feeling like crap! How can I say it's really been good?"
"But, Cal— you know, all season, you've gotten shit from so many people, and yet here you are." Susie sat back in her chair, her hands folded and resting on her crossed legs, eyeing Calina with a look of pure pride. Throughout all the years Calina had known the older woman, Susie never failed to remind her that she would have Claina's back, no matter what, and Claina couldn't be more grateful to have someone like Susie behind her. "Look at how you've done so far! You're easily the best rookie in years, probably since Lewis."
"I know, but— Susie, it doesn't feel like I haven't done anything!" calina didn't know how to summarise the stress she had been dealing with, but the woman across from her seemed to understand.
Susie sighed heavily, and moved to sit next to Calina, pulling the young driver into a side-hug.
"You feel like you have to do well this season to prove yourself, right?" she asked quietly, gently. Calina nodded in response, because that was exactly that.
Ever since news had broken about Claian signing with Pagani, there was this building sense of anxiousness and stress that she failed to realise until lately, and while the title fight between Max and Lewis, or her own team's sudden yet celebrated success had partially contributed, they weren't the sole reasons, like she had believed.
"Susie, I got so lucky, and I can't fuck this up."
"But you didn't just get lucky, Cal. You got chosen by a team that finally had the balls to come into this sport and stir shit up by actually trying to make a change. They've given you the best environment possible to come into, and look at where it's gotten you. You have a car that is mid-pack,—no offence, or anything—and you've taken it up to fighting for podiums on a regular basis, solely with your driving. If that isn't proof enough that you belong here, then I don't know what is."
Calina thought over what Susie said. She was indeed lucky with what Pagani was giving her. She was able to give her own input, be involved in the development of the car. She felt included, a complete contrast to what being at McLaren was like. She had been there long enough to establish herself as worthy of a contract, long enough for anyone to see that she was the best junior driver, and yet it was Lando who got chosen over her for every opportunity they were presented with. It was always something that left Calina feeling confused, until she joined Pagani, and saw what they had to offer. She didn't want anyone else to have to go through what she did with McLaren.
"Calina, no matter what happens this season, you're the real winner here. You're going to change things around here, no matter what anyone thinks."
"But—Susie, I can't be the only one." Calina sat up, shaking her head. "I got here, but I can't be the only girl. There needs to be more opportunities, better ones."
Susie smiled knowingly, before she froze for a moment, a thought coming to her as her smile grew. She took Calina's hands in her own.
"Cal, I have a project I've been working on. Is there any chance you'd be interested in it?"
****** VERY IMPORTANT ******
I have a final for my summer class coming up, so I won't be writing as much for the next week or so. But the final chapters are in the works, and I'm so not ready for this to be over.
I'm planning on some extra content to put out once the final chapter is out, including a mini Q&A. if there is anything you would like to know regarding the story, or the ATW Universe, then feel free to leave them in the comments!
As always, I hope you all enjoyed! :)