( This chapter has a nonconsensual scene in it. while it is not described in detail, the warning is still here just in case. this is not meant to romanticize anything, and it's more of the author at coping mechanism with their own trauma, and it's a long chapter. Thank you )
Akane stared at the cast list in front of her, mesmerized by the names. "Aqua," she whispered, "I guess we're working together again." Two other names stood out to her as well.
Arima Kana, which made her scowl, and then, in a minor role: Tamaki Yumena. She gazed at that last one for a while, remembering the night she had mysteriously appeared on the bridge over the highway. How had she gotten such a role anyway? She had never seen her act anything before. She searched for her name and only came up with her idol work.
She was a mystery in the acting world, so who had vouched for her to play in Tokyo Blade? She drummed her fingers thoughtfully on her desk, frowning. Perhaps Kaburagi had taken a liking to her after her and Ruby's appearances had spiked his views on that episode of LoveNow.
Of course the most popular episode had been the one where Akane had scratched Yuki, but that one was a close second. Akane hummed. "Tamaki Yumena, just who are you? And how are you everywhere?"
......
"Let me come!!" Ruby whined for probably the dozenth time.
"No," Aqua replied as he finished packing his day bag for going to the first meeting of Tokyo Blade.
"But you, Kana, and Yumena are going to be there. Plus I'd finally get to meet Akane!" Ruby protested.
"We're going to be working the whole time," Aqua insisted, "You would just get us in trouble by talking." He really didn't need Ruby there, distracting everyone and embarrassing him.
"We'll hang out with you later, Ruby," Kana said, "And I'll tell you all about it."
"That's not the saaaame!" Ruby complained, kicking her feet in her seat in displeasure.
Yumena entered the kitchen, taking a large gulp of water. "Okay, I'm ready," she announced.
"Yumena-chan, you want me there, don't you?" Ruby asked in a petulant voice, slinking further down in her seat at the table.
Yumena blinked. "Of course I do, but just because I'd want you there, doesn't mean anyone would let you be there," she pointed out sympathetically.
"Ugh, I guess you're right," Ruby relented with a deep, saddened sigh. "I guess you can all go have fun without me."
"It'll be hard work. It's not like we're all going to the mall together," Kana grumbled, rolling her eyes.
"I know..."
"I'll hang out with you after, Ruby. Just you and me. I'll buy you an ice cream." Yumena murmured, patting Ruby gently on the head. This perked her up, and she clung to Yumena.
"Yumena, you're the only one who cares about me," she mumbled, burying her face in Yumena's chest.
Yumena laughed awkwardly. "You know that's not true."
"Can we leave now? Or is your separation anxiety that bad?" Kana taunted.
Ruby turned her head toward Kana and pouted. "You're so warm, Yumena, let's stay like this for just a little longer."
"No, we don't have time," Aqua reminded her, growing impatient with Ruby's antics.
"Fine, fine. I'll see you all later," Ruby said, releasing Yumena.
Aqua waved to her before heading outside, Yumena and Kana following behind him.
"It's still really sad what happened to that teacher," Kana said as they got into the car. "She was my freshman English teacher."
"She was Ruby and I's teacher as well," Yumena replied, nodding sadly.
"My class has a different English teacher, so I never got to meet her," Aqua admitted, "Ruby and I went to the memorial last weekend. Several former students of hers were there. They talked about how she had helped them, or changed their lives for the better. She seemed like a good person."
"I wonder who would kill a teacher like that."
"Well, everyone suspects her husband, especially since it's come out that he was cheating on her," Aqua said, shaking his head. He had been keeping up with the case online.
"What?! Really?!" cried Kana, "Their poor daughter!"
"That's a real shame," Yumena agreed, "He'll probably get charged."
"Most likely, especially since his alibi is that he was at home with his daughter, and kids that young can easily be manipulated into lying for his parents. Apparently your homeroom
teacher, Nakamura, was the last person to see her alive before it happened. He was a suspect because of that, but since they were never that close, and the murder was clearly done in a fit of rage, they decided it was a crime of passion, and that the husband was more likely the suspect," Aqua explained.
"Where do you even find that information?" Miyako queried, clearly disturbed.
"Lots of YouTubers investigate interesting crimes," Aqua said.
"Making money off the misery of families, I see," Miyako griped.
Aqua shrugged. "I just like to be informed."
"I feel so bad for Kimura. She deserved better. I wonder what she was thinking in those final moments. Or if she had any regrets? I know I did," Yumena said in a contemplative tone.
"You did?" echoed Aqua.
Yumena shook her head. "'Would', I meant. Sorry."
Aqua thought of his final moments of his last life. How he was trying so hard to get up and go help Ai, but he couldn't will himself to move. How alone he felt at that moment. How he regretted that he was in his thirties but he was unmarried with no children. "I think it's impossible to live without some form of regrets," Aqua found himself saying, "We just have to keep trying our best despite them, knowing we could die at any time."
"I don't know if I'm inspired or disturbed by that message, Aqua-kun," Kana teased in a deadpan voice.
"You're right," Yumena agreed. "I'll keep trying my best despite my regrets."
Aqua wondered what kind of regrets a person like Yumena would even have. As far as he could tell, she had lived to obtain her dreams. She was a good student, a good friend, and an excellent idol. Ah, he thought, maybe she wants love, like Ai did. Maybe she wants a boyfriend.
......
The room was bustling with activity as the three of us entered together. Frankly, I was surprised I made it here. I had to beg Kaburagi for a spot. I was honestly afraid I would have to sleep with him, but he gave in surprisingly easily, saying he would see what he could do. He supported me as an idol, and he was interested to see what I could do as an actress.
I had some experience with acting, but they were all musicals and had nothing comparable to the maturity of Tokyo Blade. I only had a minor role, but, surrounded by actors who had all acted in more serious projects before, I was nervous. I had to do well, even though acting wasn't my real reason for being here. I was actually here to monitor Aqua. This was the part of the story where he finds out he has a half-brother, and thinks his father died a long time ago, but it wasn't the truth. His father was alive, and he was a murderer. I had to keep him from getting caught in a red herring, and I had to find his father first.
Akane approached us, and there were instant rivalry sparks between her and Kana. I decided to stay out of it and started to walk away, but Akane stopped me. "Tamaki-san, it's good to see you again," she said.
"Oh, it's good to see you too," I told her, smiling earnestly at her. I was glad she was still alive.
"I'm glad we finally have a chance to work together," she replied, offering me her hand. I shook it.
"Eh?" Kana whispered. "What's this? You two know each other?"
"We met on the set of LoveNow," Akane answered, "We've become friends since then."
I blinked. Friends? We don't even have each other's contact information. I smiled and nodded anyway.
Kana sighed. "So it's like that. You're one of those girls who makes friends with everyone, huh, Yumena-chan?"
"Not really..." I mumbled stiffly.
Akane wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "She even asked me if I wanted to be an idol, but I had to turn her down. My acting is just too important to me. I'm glad she understood that at least."
"Oh, now you're really trying to say something, aren't you?" Kana snapped.
Aqua cleared his throat, inclining his head to all the other actors and staff watching this exchange.
Akane shrugged, dropping her arm. "Take it how you wish. Good to see you, too, Aqua-kun."
"You too, Akane."
The director stepped into view, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "Alright! Everyone's here! Welcome to the start of Tokyo Blade, everyone! We're excited to have you all. We're going to start practicing scenes right away, so I hope you all brought your scripts."
I knew the script would soon be useless, but I had mine tucked under my arm anyway. I only had four lines in the entire play for now, but it could be subject to change later when the mangaka demands the entire script be rewritten.
Soon we were divided into teams, and, due to my small role, I spent most of the day standing by the wall, waiting with Aqua. I already had my lines memorized, so there wasn't much else for me to do but wait.
"So how'd you get this role?" Aqua asked at one point.
"Kaburagi," I stated, intentionally vague. I was not about to tell him I practically pleaded for any role I could get.
"Really? He must have liked you then."
"I guess so."
"Good luck with your part," he murmured, hiding a yawn.
"You too. It looks like there's a lot of emotional acting needed in yours," I remarked carefully, peering at him through the corner of my eyes.
"Mm, I guess you're right. I'll have to practice for sure."
"You're not used to emotional acting, right?" I pressed despite knowing the answer.
"Not really."
"You'll get the hang of it. Just be careful, alright?" I warned, patting his shoulder gently.
"Be careful? What for?" Aqua prompted, turning his head and raising an eyebrow.
"Sometimes it's hard to know how much of yourself to put into acting," I explained softly, leaning against the wall.
Aqua seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding, accepting this answer. His eyes drifted to the three actors playing out the current scene, and joined him in watching them, taking mental notes on how to improve my own acting.
I was sitting in the passenger seat of Nakamura's car, on the way home, when he suddenly pulled over in front of an unfamiliar house. It was a one-story, wide, traditional style home. "I have to grab something really quick, wait here," he said.
"Oh, actually, is it okay if I use the restroom?" I asked.
Nakamura paused, glancing at me, brown eyes thoughtful. "That should be fine, yes."
We both got out of the car and walked the narrow path up to the house, crossing the surrounding wooden porch area to the main entrance. He slid the door to the side and stepped back, allowing me in. The decorations were sparse, like he didn't spend much time thinking about interior design. "It's down the hall to your right," he told me, pointing.
"Okay." I noted how clean the place was. I also noticed the lack of family photos. For some reason, I had always assumed he was married, but it was occurring to me now he must not be. I found the restroom and entered, sliding the door shut behind me. I quickly used the toilet and washed my hands in the round sink before drying them off on a white hand towel. I exited the restroom, meandering back down the hallway. I didn't see Nakamura. "Nakamura-san?" I called.
"In here!" I heard him reply.
I followed the sound of his voice to his kitchen, and sat on the other side of a counter space, seeing that he was brewing some tea. "I thought I might as well make us some tea while you're here," he said, smiling politely.
"Oh, thank you. Did you find what you needed?"
"Yes, thank you." He waved a paper at me emphatically. "I have to actually go back to the school later."
"Oh, alright. Sounds annoying."
"Yes, we've had to turn in some personal psychological questionnaires weekly ever since what happened to Kimura," he explained with a sigh, "They think it's supposed to help us determine if we need to take leave or not."
"They finally convicted her husband, didn't they?"
Nakamura swallowed, nodding. "They did, yes."
"I feel bad for their daughter."
Nakamura sighed. "Me too, me too."
"My friend said you were suspected for a while there, is that true?" I asked. "That must have been stressful."
"Well, they had camera footage of me with her near the time of her death, but we only talked for a few minutes about a student we were both concerned about. I never knew her that well." The tea kettle whistled on the stove, and he turned to switch it off, running a hand through his hair before collecting two cups from a metal rack on the counter by the stove. He poured us each a steaming cup of what appeared to be green tea. "It was stressful, honestly, but I'm glad it's over now." He maneuvered around the marble counter to sit beside me. "It's still hot, so I'd give it a few minutes. Do you take honey or sugar with your tea?"
"I like a little sweetness," I admitted, "I'll have honey."
Nakamura pulled over a yellow honeypot from the edge of the counter, stirring a spoonful into one cup before sliding it back into place. He handed me the cup, and the heat radiated into my fingers. "Sorry to talk about all this, I'm sure it's too morbid."
"No, it's alright, I don't mind," I replied, fiddling with my cup absently.
"That's good to hear, then. You have strong nerves."
"I don't know about that," I said with a sigh. "I guess I was more just checking in on you."
"Checking in on me? That's sweet."
I nodded. "You're the only teacher I've ever had that's been so nice to me."
"You're a hard-working girl, full of talent and potential. I don't see why more haven't taken interest," Nakamura murmured, sipping his tea.
I took a sip of my own tea and winced. Too hot. I set it back down. "Thanks for thinking so."
Nakamura pivoted in his chair so he was facing me more directly. "I actually admire you, you know."
I turned more so I could see his face. He was staring at me, a warm expression on his face. "You do? Why?"
"You put your all into everything you do," he answered, "Your studies, your interactions, your idol work."
"Thanks. I admire you too, Kayaza-san. You're a good t-"
I was cut off by him suddenly cupping my face in his hands and pressing his lips to mine. I blinked. "Um-"
"Sorry. I'm so-I'm sorry," he stammered.
"Um. It's. Okay," I said, starting to turn away when he grabbed me, kissing me again, harder this time. "Wha-" He barely gave me time to breathe before he delved in again, practically knocking me out of the chair. He picked me up and carried me to the nearby couch, never disconnecting from my mouth the entire time.
Once sprawled out on the cushions, he laid across me, undoing his tie and taking off his suit jacket, throwing it to the floor, gasping in heaving breaths as he held onto my shoulders.
"Kayaza-" He sucked on my bottom lip before moving his tongue into my mouth, twisting it around mine. I felt his hands find the bow of my uniform and untie it before moving to the buttons of my shirt, fumbling around awkwardly until he was able to start unbuttoning it. It wasn't long until it flopped open, and he paused to gaze down at me, panting. He took off his own shirt, and I finally understood what was happening.
I was suddenly in my first life, nine years old again, frozen in fear and unable to speak. He slid off his shoes and took mine with his. I watched him as he unhooked my bra and peeled it off, spreading his hands all over me. I heard my brother's voice echoing in my mind. "Tell anyone about what happened here today, and I won't hesitate to kill you ." I remember vividly now why I was so unmotivated in my first life, and why I was constantly afraid of everyone and everything.
I felt Nakamura's hands slide up my thighs and under my skirt, grabbing my underwear at my hips and pulling it down. He hoisted up my skirt, exposing what laid underneath, and he gasped. "You're so beautiful, Yumena."
I didn't respond. He removed the rest of his clothes and grabbed me by the waist, staring into my eyes. "I love you," he said, "I've loved you since I first saw you."
A movement, a sigh. I fixed my eyes on the ceiling, wishing I was anywhere else.
......
It was another day of practice for Tokyo Blade, and it was one of the biggest scenes in the play. Aqua was kneeling over Akane, who was pretending to be near death on the floor, reciting his lines when the director stopped him.
"You're too emotionless. This is a powerful scene," he pointed out, "You need to be able to shed a tear or two."
"You'll get the hang of it," Akane whispered, sitting up.
"No," Kana cut in, "Stop babying him. Aqua, you've never done emotional acting before, correct?"
"Not really, no. How do you do it?"
"You need to think of happy memories," Kana explained.
Aqua thought of all of his time spent with Ai and Ruby growing up.
"And then bam! You think of something devastating. Like: Hey Aqua, how would you feel if your mother died?"
Aqua recalled Ai's death. The blood everywhere. Ai admitting she loved them. Her stone-cold eyes. The warmth gradually fading from her body. The stench of iron in the air. He was no further along in his revenge plot than he was a few months ago. He had failed. He had let Ai down. She had died in vain. He didn't deserve to rest, he didn't deserve to be happy. He needed to make his father pay for what happened to Ai. It was what she deserved, at the very least, and he was letting it escape him.
Tears welled up in Aqua's eyes as his knees gave out on him. His heart raced in his chest, a painful thudding against his ribs. He heard his blood roaring in his ears as others swarmed around him, checking on him, but their voices were so far away. He was suddenly being pulled away, guided to another room. He laid down as his vision spiralled, turning the ceiling in a swirling piece of art. Someone laid a cold rag on his forehead, and he shut his eyes, trying to ground himself and regulate his breathing. "Ai..." he whispered.
When Aqua came back, Akane was leaning over him, eyes shining wittears. "What's wrong?" he murmured, trying to sit up and get a better bearing on his surroundings, but Akane pushed him down in an embrace.
"Nothing," she said, "Just something I made up in my head."
Aqua rose to his feet after a moment of savoring the feeling of someone comforting him, something he didn't get or allow often. "Thank you for taking care of me," he murmured, walking towards the door.
"Of course," Akane replied.
Outside the room, he saw Gotanda waiting by the exit. He looked uncomfortable while everyone else was practicing lines or waiting for their turn. "I can take you back to my place or your place, up to you," Gotanda said in a low voice.
"I'll go home I guess."
"I'll go with you," another voice jutted in. Aqua glanced at Yumena, who he had almost forgotten was here, "I already gave my lines for today, I'm basically just waiting around for nothing," she added.
"Oh, you're one of the idol girls from the new B Komachi," Gotanda noted aloud.
"Tamaki Yumena, it's nice to finally meet you," Yumena said swiftly, offering him her hand.
"Oh. I can't believe I'm just now realizing it. It's you. That crazy little fangirl who kept sending me letters about my movies when you were only four years old! I thought your writing was impressive, but I was thinking: I already have one precocious child in my life, I don't need another one. I guess you've weaseled your way into it now though. Small world, huh? How are you?"
Yumena laughed while Aqua frowned. She was a fan of both Kana and Gotanda before they ever met? He supposed it was easy to see if she initially liked Kana, that her interest would transfer to Gotanda's works after Kana appeared in one of his movies, but that conclusion didn't quite sit right with him.
He thought about how she seemed to know where Akane would be the day she attempted. He thought about how she knew it was him, and not Pieyon under the mask, when his own twin sister didn't recognize him. He thought about how she was always saying "It's nice to finally meet you", like she already knew everyone beforehand. He had assumed it was because she had simply heard of them before through Ruby, but it was possible she knew through other means as well.
But how did she know everyone, and why? Was she stalking Kana after a lifetime of being an ignored fan? No. She was way too normal in her interactions with Kana, and stalkers usually liked to keep trinkets from their victims.
He had never seen her take anything of Kana's like used water bottles, articles of clothing, hair, or anything of the sort. Besides, if anyone was a stalker in the new B Komachi, it was Ruby stalking Yumena, with her overt clingy behavior that was bordering on separation anxiety at times.
Aqua thought about how Yumena' hair was blue, and her eyes were pink, both one shade off from purple, like Ai's, in each direction. He thought about the way her eyes shimmered in such an intoxicatingly familiar way it made him ill at times.
Akane had imitated Ai and shone, but Yumena was a constant burning star of her own breed. If she hadn't already been alive when Ai died, he would have thought she was a reincarnation of her. He thought back to the first day of practice, when Yumena pointed out his role would require emotional acting. He recalled her advice.
Be careful, alright? It was like she knew he would have his panic attack today, just like how she had warned Akane about her nails before she cut Yuki with them. Was it possible? Was Yumena...a psychic?
He had never believed in that kind of stuff before, but when one gets reincarnated, it's hard to know what kind of supernatural elements are afoot.
"Really? You'd like to use me in one of your projects? I'm honored!" Yumena said suddenly, startling Aqua out of his thoughts.
Aqua blinked. He had completely tuned out of the conversation between Yumena and Gotanda.
"Yeah, it won't be for a while, but you seem like you'd be a good fit for the role, you know? It's a much bigger role than you play here, so you'd have to really study up on your acting. But I see a lot of potential in you," Gotanda answered, offering her one of the few genuine smiles Aqua ever saw from him.
"Thank you so much. I won't let you down, Gotanda-san."
"I don't imagine you will. You have a spark in you. It reminds me a little of someone else I used in my movies a long time ago, and she was amazing."
Ai. He's talking about Ai. So Aqua wasn't alone in seeing the similarity. "What's this new project you're working on? You haven't told me anything about it."
"I'll tell you some about it on the way back to your place, okay, Precocious? Ah. I might have to start calling you precocious one, and her precocious two," Gotanda jested, smirking a bit, "Alright, let's stop standing around here."
"Bye, Aqua and Yumena!" Kana called, waving at them.
They waved back.
"Take care, Aqua," Akane said from somewhere behind him. "Yumena, can you keep an eye on him for me? Here, let me give you my number. Text me if something happens again, okay?" She was playing the role of a worried girlfriend a little too well. Aqua turned and raised an eyebrow at her, but she was busy messing with her phone, swapping numbers with Yumena.
"Oh, what's this?" Kana giggled, crossing over to them. "In an earlier practice you acted like you two were such close friends, and then it turns out you didn't even have her contact information? I've had Yumena's LINE for months."
"I don't know what you're bragging about. That makes sense since you work closely together," Akane retorted, "Anyway, thanks, Tamaki."
"You're not even on a first name basis with her yet," Kana mocked, wrapping an arm around Yumena's shoulders the same way Akane had at their first practice.
"Thanks, Yumena-chan," Akane repeated, rolling her eyes.
"No problem!" Yumena answered. "I'll see you later, Kana," she added, smiling brightly at her.
Kana sighed, dropping her arm, clearly defeated in the strange friendship competition. "Yeah, I'll see you later."
Aqua, Yumena, and Gotanda left through the main doors of the backstage studio and wandered through the parking lot. "Looks like it's starting to rain," Gotanda observed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The three climbed into Gotanda's vehicle at the same time Yumena's phone chimed.
"Is that your mom?" Aqua asked when she glanced at her phone, sighed, and tucked it back away.
"No, it was Nakamura-sensei."
"He has your phone number?" Aqua frowned at this.
"Yeah. Uhm. To coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs."
"So why was he texting you so late then?" Aqua pressed, "It's past eight."
"He was checking to see if he needed to pick me up tomorrow," she murmured, settling down in her seat.
"And you didn't want to answer?" Aqua inquired, tilting his head to one side.
"Not right now, I'll do it when I get home," Yumena answered, glancing out the window as they pulled out of the parking lot. She seemed tense. She had been acting differently in the past few weeks. Running late, seeming distracted and fatigued like she wasn't sleeping well.
She was articulate yet reserved, sharing everything and nothing at the same time like a perfectly curated story. Aqua knew something was wrong, but it was impossible to navigate a real conversation with her. She was hiding something so deeply in herself, a slow-spreading venom, but there were cracks in her mien.
She was so close to Ruby, and he couldn't have her poison spread over to her too. He would have to figure out how to solve whatever was wrong on his own even if he couldn't pry the truth out of her.
(Word count: 4748)