ᗯᕼEᑎ I GET ᗷᗩᑕK to the Grand Palace, Aleksander is back in the war room just as I suspected. Just because he spent the morning with me doesn't change anything about his distant behavior.
I decide to take the initiative and seek him out.
On the way, I bump into Coraline. She is always a breath of fresh air in this strait-laced palace.
"Oh, hello Dear." Coraline clasps her hands together with excitement. Then, she leans in and whispers, "I guess you finally talked some sense into the King. It was quite lonely hanging around the palace without much other staff. Now, there are maids and Grisha galore! How is Amelia?"
"You heard?"
"Everyone knows, Dear. And everyone is ready to fight for her. Amelia is one tough cookie, but she also knows how to touch the hearts of everyone around her, that girl." Coraline sighs. "If only the whole world could see her that way."
"Yeah," I exhale heavily. "But for Grisha, people are blinded by hate, obliviousness, jealousy, greed, or a dangerous combination of all four."
"And that's what Shu Han is, I assume?" she asks. "All four?"
I nod sadly. "Fjerda was just hateful and badly informed about us. The leaders of Shu Han are many things, but dumb isn't one of them. Queen Leyti wants her people to see me as the enemy, and she wants my power for demented experiments. But by now, I'm sure word has gotten back to her about Amelia's powers too. I'm worried about what she is planning. More than worried. I'm terrified."
Suddenly, Coraline's warm, plump arms wrap around me snugly. It was a hug that I didn't know I needed. Tears prick the corner of my eyes. She squeezes me before she pulls away and pats my shoulder twice. "Be careful, moya tsaritsa."
She dips into a curtsey and hobbles past me to do her late-morning duties.
Her kindness gives me the courage to go find Aleks. I go up the curved staircase, my black kefta fluttering behind me until I reach the war room three doors down the hall.
"You left this morning," Aleksander says before I can even close the door.
"You left first."
I see a smirk on his lips. "I suppose I did."
I stroll closer to him. He looks up from his map of Ravka that he has been pouring over since he left our bedroom at late daybreak.
"Though, I had a good reason for leaving this time," he says. Aleksander motions me closer with his finger. "The reason for Shu Han's silence has been made known." He points to the diorama on the table. Replica ships painted with red and black to represent Shu Han's flag are surrounding Novyi Zem's coasts.
Shu Han stopped being aggressive to us because they were focusing their efforts on our allies, just as I had suspected.
"The Zemani general has reported multiple attacks on their country," he continues. "This is to weaken us, but it also poses as a diversion. They want us to send soldiers over there so they can make a move on Ravka."
"For what?" I ask stupidly. "They have never shown an interest in taking over Ravka."
"It's all for you, Alina. They are more advanced scientifically than any other country. It's because of the cruel experiments they do on innocent people. People like us. They have been working on solar-powered technology and you are the key."
His words are like a punch to the gut. I stand frozen for a second. Aleks sighs and wraps his warm arms around me
"I didn't want to worry you with more of their horrid ideas, but this solar power—your power—could fuel a generation of weapons. It would give them the upper hand on all other nations. Alina, you've always been their target."
I stand limp in his arms for a minute, unsure of what to say. I've always known this was about me. I know the Shu Han Queen hates me. I know my power could be harnessed for a lifetime of energy to benefit them. But hearing it and coming to terms with it are two very different things. I just want all of this to be over. I want to go on a picnic with Amelia and Aleksander, carefree, not having to look over my shoulder with every step I take. I want my happy ending.
Maybe Saints don't get happy endings.
"We need to start taking the offensive strategy instead of waiting for their next move like sitting ducks," he mumbles against my hair, pulling away from our short embrace. Then, he quickly turns away, coughing harshly into his sleeve. Aleksander stumbles a bit. He tries to resist my effort to drag him to a chair across the room, but I eventually succeed. He plops down on the cushion, clenching his fist until his knuckles are white. Anger boils beneath his skin from being too sick to stand.
Maybe he thought I would forget about his merzost-afflicted body because of everything going on recently, but in reality, that is all I have been thinking about.
Something in me snaps, whether it's from Aleksander denying his ebbing life, my wrath over being hunted by Shu Han, or a combination, I'm not sure.
"I've had enough!" I cry out. My arms flail wildly in the air. "I am not just going to sit around and pretend like everything is going to be fine when you are dying and I will be left to rule a country, protect our daughter, and finish a war all by myself! So, you are going to banish your nichevo'ya, stop creating new ones, and allow David to come back to the palace so he can find a cure for your ailment because I am not doing this on my own! Do you understand me?"
My chest heaves up and down after my outburst and Aleksander just stares at me in shock. Every time his mouth opens to form an argument, it falls closed again without a sound.
Once I calm down again, I form a proper argument to persuade him because I can tell he is still reluctant.
"We can win this war," I say in a calmer tone, "without the nichevo'ya. But we can't win it without you. We've gotten by for a long time with the power of our First and Second Armies. We stand more of a chance if you stop using merzost than if you waste your time living in denial. Please, Aleksander," I beg, coming to kneel beside his chair. This is one of the only times he will see me beg on my knees for something, only because I will do anything to get him to stop.
Aleksander is quiet. He looks from me to the spatter of blood on his kefta sleeve. I chew my lip nervously when he doesn't answer.
Finally, he says, "Fine."
I gasp and fling my arms around him, careful not to crush him as he is recovering from his coughing fit. "But if David is unable to cure me, I will spend my last days using merzost to fight this war."
I nod profusely. I know David can find something. Knowing him, he already found a solution.
He chuckles a little when I pepper him with thankful kisses. As long as he is willing to try, I'm happy. I can tell how tired he is. This sickness is taking so much from him. Otherwise, I'm not sure he would have agreed to this, but he is running out of options as well as time.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" I ask eagerly. "Let's go!"
I grab his hand, urging him out of his chair, but he stops me by catching my upper arm. "Wait," he says. Aleksander guides me to sit with him. He says nothing at first. He just looks at me, stroking my cheek. Then he says, "I want to stay here like this for a minute."
"Okay," I speak hesitantly. I let him hold me next to him in the large armchair and rest my forehead against his.
"Hey, it's going to be alright," I hum softly. "Everything will work out fine."
"I know," he says. "But everything will change. Shu Han will see this as a weakness. They will take advantage of it. I just want to stay here for a moment until we initiate that change."
I nod. My body relaxes into his broad chest. We both take a deep breath.
Though it may thrust us into more chaos, it is a good change. This is the first step in Aleksander's recovery. Then, all we can do is have faith that we can protect our people and our family.
***
"The monsters are gone!" the palace staff chatter. "The creatures just disappeared into thin air effortlessly and soundlessly!"
That isn't exactly true. It took quite a lot of effort from Aleksander to revoke the nichevo'ya. And they didn't just disappear. Aleksander took them into his body since merzost and his creatures are a part of him now.
I stand by his side, holding him up as his legs quiver in fatigue.
I try not to use our connection unless I am granted permission, but what I feel while holding him is completely involuntary. I feel the merzost within him. It's angry like how the Fold was angry when I tore it down. It wants to be released into the world again, not trapped within my husband.
Aleksander grits his teeth in pain but remains stoically quiet. However, I can tell this made his symptoms worse. He rubs his temples to soothe what I can only assume is a pounding headache.
Hopefully, the worst of the storm is over. When David arrives in a day's time and is able to start on his remedy, this will finally be over. . .
I hope.
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Thank you for reading! I know his chapter is on the short side. Another year of school has started. *starts crying* I will try my best to post frequently!
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