****
White.
It was all white. And so glowy. And quiet. There was nothing around her. No view, no scenery, no people. Just a plain, bright, brilliant white glow.
Meerab looked down at herself. She was dressed in a white gown. It was extremely soft, as if made from the finest silk there ever was. Fit for a royal personality. And she could barely feel the soft material against her skin.
Mai kahan houn? Yeh konsi jagah hai? She thought as she scanned the endless white space around her.
Suddenly a bright, almost blinding white light glowed ahead of her. Lifting a hand to shield her eyes from the blinding light, her curiosity got the better of her and her feet slowly began to move towards it. But her movements halted when a blurry shadow moved inside the light. It seemed to be approaching her. She squinted her eyes as it got closer and closer. The shadow soon transformed into a tall black silhouette of a man.
As the figure approached her, it became clearer and clearer and Meerab stood frozen as the black figure stepped out of the light. Her mouth dropped open in utter shock as she stared in disbelief at the man in front of her .
"Baba..." she murmured. She couldn't believe her eyes. Waqas Ahmed stood in front of her, dressed in a brilliant white silk kurta and trouser. The light behind him surrounded him like a halo. He look unreal. Ethereal. "Baba..." she whispered again. His skin was glowing. She had never seen it like that in her 22 years of existence. So bright, so glowy, so angelic. The light behind him seemed to cast a halo around him as he neared her. He didn't say anything as he came to stand in front of her and Meerab only received a soft smile in response, the kind f reassuring a like that would always warm her heart.
"Baba? Ye kya jagah hai? Hum kahan hain?" She asked, scanning her surroundings once more. Her voice echoed through the glowing white abyss. He still didn't say anything and just as Meerab was about to push for an answer, her eyes flickered over his shoulder, sensing more movement behind him. Another blurry silhouette appeared from the light. Meerab squinted her eyes once more as the shadow came closer, the light shining brighter than ever. It was a woman, Meerab noticed. She could tell it was a feminine figure with seemingly long hair even through the darkness.
As she stepped out of the portal of light to came to stand next to Waqas, Meerab couldn't help but take a moment to marvel at the woman's beauty. She was so beautiful. So gorgeous. But once the fascination had worn off, a new confusion settled in.
Looking at the woman, Meerab felt like she was staring at a more mature version of herself. The woman was dressed just like her, in a white silk gown. She looked like an angel. A fairy residing in the heavens. Her glossy dark brown hair cascaded down her back, stopping just at her waist. Just like hers. Her full lips were a soft pink. Just like hers. Her brown eyes were round and big. Just like hers. But for features held a certain maturity, a certain wisdom that came with age.
Meerab had never met the woman in her entire life, she had no memories with her nor had she seen any pictures or videos. But one look at her and she recognised her.
The shock was evident on her face and so was the influx of emotions as Meerab took a step towards the beautiful woman. She didn't know why, she didn't know how, but only one word came to mind as she stood in front of her and it left her mouth before she could think "Ammi...?"
Nadia glowed in the white light as she brought a soft hand up to cup Meerab's cheek. Her soft thumb caressed her cheek and she gave her a warm smile, "meri bachi, hamesha khush rahou. Mera saya hamesha tumhare saath hai" she whispered. The shimmery tears in her eyes mirrored Meerab's as she leaned forward to place a kiss on Meerab's head. Meerab stood in shock, unable to make sense of the situation and unable to stop herself, all she could say was one thing, "mujhe aap ke sath jaana hai" she gulped at the lump in her throat.
Nadia smiled warmly and slowly shook her head. Meerab moved her confused eyes between Nadia and Waqas. With a warm smile, Waqas placed a hand on her head and gently motioned for her to look behind her.
As she turned around, Meerab felt her confusion grow further at the sight ahead of her. Murtasim stood clad in all white, his attire similar to her baba's with the exception of a waistcoat. He looked regal; like a Prince of the Heavens. And he held Meesam in his arms. She was also wrapped up in all white. An ethereal glow surrounded them too. There was a huge smile on Meesam's tiny lips as she looked at Meerab and clenched and unclenched her tiny fist in her direction, as if telling her to come to her.
Confused, she looked back to Waqas and Nadia. It earned her yet another warm smile from Waqas before he spoke, "abhi tumhara waqt nahi aya beta" he said warmly and Meerab didn't know what he meant even as he took one of her hands in his while Nadia took the other. Meerab stood frozen as Waqas placed her small hand in Murtasim's while Nadia placed her other hand on Meesam's tiny head.
"Hamesha apno ki qadar karna beta. Aur yaad rakhna, tumhare baba hamesha tumhare sath hain! meri dua hai ke tum hamesha khush rahou" Waqas whispered, kissing the side of her head.
"Tumhari maa bhi hamesha tumhare sath hai meri pyaari beti. Hamesha khush abad rahou" Nadia said, tenderly wiping the tears Meerab didn't realise had fallen and kissed her cheek.
Letting go, Meerab watched as Nadia and Waqas retreated back into the light, disappearing from her sight as if they were never there. Her hands were still where they were, one in Murtasim's hand and the other on Meesam's head as she turned sideways to watch as her birth mother and foster father disappeared into the light. The moment their silhouettes vanished, the light did too, burning impossibly bright for a split second, before it was gone.
Meerab turned around to face Murtasim who had a loving smile on his face, "chalein?" He asked, holding her hand and her head moved on its own as she nodded, still not knowing where they were headed.
Everything after that happened with the speed of light. The white glow all around her disappeared. Murtasim disappeared. Meesam disappeared. And she felt like she was sat in a wild rollercoaster of memories as memory after memory from her entire life, from her earliest to her latest flashed in front of her eyes for a nano second each, like lightning.
And then it stopped.
There was no light.
Just dark.
****
Beep.
A sound echoed through the room, cutting through the haunting silence and halting Murtasim's cries. He froze at the sound, his head lifting in slow motion from where it rested beside Meerab's hand on the bed and he turned sideways in his position with his knees still on the floor, to look at the heart monitor.
Beep.
It chimed again.
Beep.
A wave began to form and numbers began to show as the machine beeped again. Anwar and Maa Begum lifted their heads too from where they were sat on the sofa in the corner of the room, drowning in their own grief. Murtasim turned his head back to Meerab and his jaw dropped when her fingers twitched in his. A small twitch. Then another. Then her whole hand moved and gripped his.
He snapped out of his frozen daze when Meerab's chest rose and fell as she suddenly took in a heavy breath, her back arching off the bed slightly before her body relaxed back into the bed. He stood up and sat beside her on the bed again, reaching out to cup her cheek as fresh tears filled his eyes, "Meerab?" He whispered with a lump in his throat. Anwar and Maa Begum had joined him as they stood on the other side and watched in shock and anticipation.
Slowly, Meerab fluttered her eyes open, shutting them again and moaning when the bright light hit her eyes and she lifted a hand to rub them. Everyone watched in shock when she opened her eyes again. She squinted as three blurry figures came into view before her vision focused and she saw their faces more clearly. Her head felt heavy, as if she had just been forced to wake up from a deep sleep. "Murtasim" his name was the first word to come out of her mouth as her mind began to clear, like a fog being lifted.
"Meerab" he cried out loud, a teary grin forming on his face as he dove in to hug her tightly, laying half on top of her on the bed as his legs dangled over the side, not caring if her father was staring or if his mother was silently calling it besharmi in her head. She hugged him back in an instant as they sobbed against each others shoulders.
Inhaling her scent, Murtasim silently thanked God for this miracle.
He had won. They had won. Their love had won. Fate had lost.
They only reluctantly pulled back when another sob echoed in the room, "Meerab meri beti" Anwar heaved, his mouth quivering as he let out a cry, letting the tears fall freely.
"Baba" Meerab whispered. And the it all came crashing back. Like a sudden, unexpected storm taking over her brain. The memories. The pain. Meesam. Her eyes widened as they frantically scanned the room for her daughter, relaxing quickly when she saw her in Maa Begum's arms.
"Ya Allah yeh tou mojza hogaya! Ya khuda tera shukar" Maa Begum beamed with joy. Amidst the joy Murtasim had somehow managed to ring for the doctor and as if on cue she walked in and froze, "Oh.My.God!" she muttered, her eyes wide in disbelief as she watched Meerab smiling from where she lay in the bed.
She shouted for a nurse and one came running in instantly. She had the same reaction as the doctor's as they both stared at the girl they had proclaimed dead only a few minutes ago. Hurrying to her side, the doctor quickly checked her vitals, observing the steady heart rate on the monitor. The more she observed, the more her shock grew, "how is this possible?" She asked the nurse then turned to Meerab in disbelief, "aisa tou na mai ne pehle kabhi dekha, na sunna! Sirf kitaabon aur filmon mei hi" she stated and Meerab smiled as the bewildered nurse helped her sit up.
"Ya Allah tera lakh lakh shukar! Mai abhi jaa ke iss ka sadqa deti houn" Maa Begum cried happy tears as she placed Meesam in Meerab's arms gently and hurried out the door, shouting for Bakhtu. Meerab hugged her daughter tightly, never wanting to let go of her again as she inhaled her baby scent. It instantly brought about a wave of relief. And Meerab couldn't help but notice that the ache in her chest was surprisingly gone. Her muscles were still sore and her body still ached, so did her head. But she wasn't struggling to breathe anymore like she was before her-
Her what? Dream? Was that what it was? Meerab thought as she furrowed her brows, trying hard to remember. But only Waqas and Nadia's faces came to mind. It had all felt so real. She could still feel the touch of Waqas's warm hand on her head. And his words echoed in her mind,
Hamesha apno ki qadar karna beta. Aur yaad rakhna, tumhare baba hamesha tumhare sath hain.
Followed by Nadia's soft voice,
Mera saya hamesha tumhare saath hai.
A ghost of a smile formed on her lips at the words. Even if it was a dream, it all felt very real she thought. She had seen her baba. The one man she loved the most apart from Murtasim. And her ammi. The woman she had never seen, never met and was always curious about. But to her surprise she wasn't curious anymore. She felt a certain peace now, one that wasn't there before. Tilting her head back to rest against the pillow, Meerab closed her eyes and took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling.
She silently expressed her gratitude to God for everything. For giving her a second chance at life, for Meesam, Murtasim and for her mended relationships with Maa Begum and her father.
Her little moment was over soon when the room fell into a happy commotion of nurses coming to check up on her and the baby, marvelling at the miracle that had just taken place in their hospital. They congratulated her for it and showered the whole family with prayers of a happy, healthy life one after the other.
Everything began returning to normal very soon after that. Anwar had gone after his Bhabi Begum to also give sadqa for the whole family and Meesam slept peacefully in her cot after being fed again and having her diaper changed by a nurse. Murtasim had disappeared off to God knows where but when he returned after nearly an hour, Meerab erupted into a fit of surprised laughter. He stumbled into the room with an array of pink balloons. They were a mix of foil balloons and rubber balloons and there were more than he could carry but he still somehow managed to hold them all as he struggled to get them through the door frame.
Once he was successful, he placed them in front of Meerab. The foil balloons had magnets attached to their matching satin ribbons keeping them stuck to the ground while the others floated to the ceiling covering it in pink. Looking at them she realised the foil balloons were letters that spelled out something. As Murtasim arranged them in an order, a grin formed on her face as she read the words.
M E E S A M
There were a couple of other pink round foil balloons as well that spelled "it's a girl" in silver cursive writing and Meerab felt her heart swell with happiness as she took it all in.
Adding to her happiness, Murtasim pulled up his hand to reveal a brown paper bag. Meerab furrowed her eyes in confusion as he sat in front of her and pulled out a take away box from inside. She recognised the label on the box immediately. It was from one of her favourite restaurants in Karachi and her eyes widened in excitement. He knew from her expression that she knew what was inside before he had even opened the box and he was proven correct when she chimed "gol gappe!" She exclaimed excitedly, sitting up a little straighter as her mouth watered.
He opened the box to reveal the contents inside and Meerab's stomach growled a little too loudly at the assortment of the ready to eat savoury delight. Both her and Murtasim laughed at the sound but her expression faltered when a sudden thought crossed her mind. Murtasim noticed the small frown and asked, "kya hua Meerab? Ache nahi lage?"
"Nahi..." she began, "woh mai soch rahi houn ke kya mai abhi ye kha sakti houn? Doctor ne mana kardia tou?" She stated. Murtasim smiled warmly "eik tou kha hi sakti hou" he said and Meerab suspected she saw a mischievous smile on his lips as he reached out to pluck a gol gappa from the box. Her suspicion was confirmed when he shoved it into her mouth before she had the chance to say anything, effectively silencing her. Her eyes wondered in surprise for a moment before she moaned and closed her eyes at the sweet and spicy taste she loved so much as it melted on her tastebuds and slid down her throat.
As if synced together, their minds flashed back to the time Meerab had dragged Murtasim to the market in Hyderabad and stuffed a gol gappa in his mouth. Recreating another moment from that day, with a mischievous smile, Murtasim picked up another gol gappa and held it up to Meerab's mouth, motioning for her to open. "Please please please eik aur na" he said playfully when she insisted on not having any more, still unsure of whether she could have these or not. But she couldn't resist Murtasim's innocent smiles as he insisted so she opened her mouth only to shut it awkwardly when Murtasim brought the gol gappa close to her lips before he swung his hand around in one smooth motioned and devoured the treat himself.
Meerab playfully squinted her eyes at him as he raised his eyebrows, giving her teasing smile that said payback and she laughed because she knew he was thinking the same thing as her.
There was a warmth in her chest as she sat there in the hospital bed with her husband with a new found appreciation for life and silently vowed to cherish all the happy moments that would occur from now onwards, no matter how small or how big. As long as she had her people with her, she would never want anything else.
****
4 days later
The large French doors of the grand Khan Mansion stood tall and proud in front of Meerab as she stared at them. For the first time, they felt welcoming, she thought, as if telling her they were waiting for her. It had never felt this way, not even when she had willingly returned here 7 months ago with Maa Begum. Even then she could feel a sense of hostility in the air. But now, there seemed to be a shift in that very same air. It was warm and inviting, not cold and unwelcoming.
Memories from her childhood flooded her mind; the first memory she had of seeing these doors for the first time. She remembered her late chacha Shahnawaz and Maa Begum standing behind those very doors with a warm smile, greeting her mama and baba with her real baba joining shortly afterward.
She also remembered a very young, reluctant looking Murtasim standing besides his father and greeting them, shaking hands with her baba. Even as a three year old she could tell he clearly didn't want to be there and would much rather spend his time somewhere else. Playing with boys his age perhaps? she thought. Because for as long as she'd known the Khan's, the only friends Murtasim ever had were his sister Maryam who he loved to annoy and Meerab who loved to annoy him.
And then of course Haya had joined the clan a few years later, but Meerab always felt a sense of hostility from her. Probably because Meerab had a knack for pissing off Murtasim and he seemed to lash out on others after it, yet still maintain a soft spot for Meerab, agreeing to whatever demands she made every time she was in Hyderabad even though he always initially refused. Whether it was taking her out to eat gol gappe or a late night ice cream run with the girls, Murtasim somehow always found himself unable to stick to his refusal when Meerab would stick out her bottom lip in an innocent pout and drawl out a soft pleaseeeee that he just couldn't say no to.
Some may say they could have fallen in love with each other before marriage if things had gone differently. But whatever relationship they had, had taken a serious nose dive when they were forced to marry each other.
Now, as she stood in front of the grand mahogany doors, her heart was full with a surprising excitement and an overwhelming sense that she was finally home. This was where she was always meant to be, she just needed time to realise it.
The doors opened up to invite her in, revealing the very familiar grand foyer of the mansion with its high ceiling, floor to ceiling window that looked out onto the backyard and glorious chandeliers. Meerab's eyes lit up in surprise, not at Maa Begum and Anwar, who had excitedly returned to Hyderabad the very next day to prepare for their granddaughter's arrival and now stood with an endearing smile at the entrance to greet them , but at the house staff that stood on either side of them in a line with warm, welcoming smiles and plates of fresh rose petals. A warm, steady hand came around her shoulder and Meerab turned her head to meet Murtasim's soft gaze. He gave her a soft nod, as if reassuring her that no matter what, he would always be there, by her side, every step of the way.
Wrapped in his warm embrace, she glanced down at Meesam sleeping in her arms and a cool wave of calmness washed over her. And for the first time, she felt a sense of belonging, a lightness in her step as she stepped inside the grand mansion and rose petals rained down on her, softly caressing her skin and getting tangled in the strands of her deep brown hair.
It was a grand welcome with Maa Begum, Anwar and the entire house staff showering them with prayers of good fortune and a happy, healthy life ahead. "Welcome home, beta!" Anwar said, placing a loving hand on his daughter's head.
"Mujh se koi nahi milega?" A sweet voice chimed and Meerab and Murtasim's head whipped to their side to identify the source of the sweet voice. "Maryam!?" They exclaimed in unison, both in surprise and happiness as she made her way over to them and crushed them in a tight hug, "boht boht mubarak hou aap dono ko" she said squeezing them a little but still careful not to crush the baby between them before she pulled back.
"Tum London se kab aayi?" Meerab asked excitedly, unable to contain her happiness. In the four days that Meerab had been in the hospital, learning and recovering, Murtasim had filled her in about the events that had taken place during the past 7 months since she left, including the fact that Maryam had announced she never wanted to come back home or have anything to do with the family and that she and her husband had moved to London soon after.
"Bas kal raat hi land hui!" She replied, "mai tou seedha airport se hospital aana chahti thi lekin phir Maa ne zidd ki ke aap ko yahan pe surprise doun tou mai ne socha why not?" She said with the same sweet, optimistic smile that Meerab had always seen on her face before things went side ways for her.
"Lekin Naurez ne tou kaha tha ke tum kabhi-" Murtasim began in disbelief but was cut off, "janti houn" Maryam said with a heavy sigh, "lekin apne bhai ki itni bari khushi kese miss kardeti?" She finished. Tears welled up in Murtasim's eyes as he pulled her in for another hug, this one tighter than before and she lovingly rubbed his back in reassurance, "aur wese bhi, mujhe tou bas iss baat ki khushi hai ke deir se hi sahi magar waqt rehte aap ko aqal tou agayi" she teased, pulling back from the hug with a teasing smile eliciting a hearty chuckle from Murtasim.
"Bade bhai se aise baat karte hain?" He teased back, his tone carrying a sarcastic threat. "Shaadi hogayi hai meri, mai bhi ab badi hogayi houn air ab tou phupo bhi ban gayi houn" she grinned proudly as if growing up, getting married and becoming an aunt was a feat she was proud to achieve. And in that moment, no one could have guessed that her original sentiments on her wedding day were the exact of opposite of what she felt now.
"Wese Meerab, eik aur surprise bhi hai aap ke liye" Maryam said excitedly, unable to contain the wide grin that formed on her lips. Meerab furrowed her brows in confusion when Maryam pointed her head in the direction behind Meerab. As she turned around, a short gasp left Meerab's lips and tears pooled in her eyes at the woman who stood in front of her with an endearing smile, "mama..." she choked on a sob as Anila walked over to stand in front of her. Meerab wasted no time in jumping into her arms, engulfing her in a tight embrace. She hadn't realised how much she needed that hug until that moment as she felt all the sad, negative energy inside her slip away and be replaced with a soothing warmth. Her muscles relaxed as she practically melted into her mother's arms, wetting the shoulder of her sky blue embroidered chiffon kameez with her uncontrollable tears.
She remembered Murtasim telling her about her baba and how her mama had practically given up on life and moved to America after the loss of her husband and her daughter at the same time. She also remembered crying at the news of her baba's death, unable to stop the guilt that filled her chest, screaming that she was responsible for the heart attack that had caused his untimely demise. Yet somehow in that moment, as she sat there in the hospital bed crying against Murtasim's shoulder, she could not help but feel a sense of closure, Waqas' face from her dream flashing before her eyes as he stood in front of her with a warm smile, in all his ethereal glory. She remembered his words that washed over her like a soothing wave,
tumhare baba hamesha tumhare sath hain!
Now as she stood hugging Anila, she silently thanked the Lord for blessing her with a mother like her. If He had taken her biological mother from her, He had blessed her with Anila in return. And Meerab realised that even after finding out the truth, never in her 22 years of existence did Anila not feel like her own mother. She would always be her mother and there was no denying that. The soft kiss that Anila placed on Meerab's temple was a silent assurance, that she would be there for her daughter whenever she needed her.
The moment was broken when Maryam spoke up, "uff mujhe lag raha hai mai rou parungi" she pretended to wipe a tear from her eye which resulted in the whole room being filled with the sound of laughter. "Mujhe bhi tou dekhayein na meri bhateeji bhai" she pouted, hurrying over to Meerab's side just as Anila took Meesam from her arms and cradled her gently. Meesam stirred in her sleep but did not wake up as Anila whispered soft prayers in her ear before passing her into the arms of a very excited Maryam who immediately began to caress her chubby cheeks.
"Araam se" Murtasim said in a slightly panicked but stern tone and both Meerab and Maryam suppressed a giggle at his concern, "jee bhai, pata hai" Maryam laughed, rolling her eyes in response. The light-hearted moment ended with a quick snap of Maa Begum's fingers, "chalo bhae, Meerab aur Murtasim tum dono apne kamre mei jaa ke araam karou, safar se thak gaye hou ge. Phir kal interior designer aayegi tou Meerab tum uss ke sath mil ke apni marzi se Meesam ka baby room set kar lena" she said. It sounded like more of an order than a suggestion, like Meerab and Murtasim were two kids who had school in the morning and were awake past their bedtime so their mother was sending them off to bed and they both suppressed a laugh at the commanding tone of Salma Begum.
"Aur bhae tum sab" Salma Begum clapped her hands pointedly at the very excited house staff, "chalo mere sath boht kaam hain! Meri poti ghar aayi hai iss ka sadqa dena hai aur iss ki khushi mei mai iss hafte poore khandaan ko eik boht shandaar dawat dungi uss ke bhi tayari karni hai, chalo shabaash kaam pe lagou" she ordered, snapping into Khaanum mode instantly. And with that she took away Anila and Maryam too along with Meesam, saying she needed their opinions on something and the house soon filled with a wonderful commotion and excited chatter.
"Arey-" Murtasim reached out to protest and ask why his daughter was being taken away but stopped when Meerab put a hand on his arm, halting him in his tracks, "koi baat nahi" she said softly, peaking at him through her lustrous eyelashes that cast soft shadows over her cheekbones where the sunlight hit them. "Par-" he began again but her grip only got tighter as she shook her head gently, "room mei chalein?" She suggested with a soft smile and he mimicked it in agreement, "chalo" he responded gently.
Walking through the familiar corridor, as Meerab entered their room, she stopped to take it all in. It was the same as she had left it. Everything. The walls, the curtains, the bed. She walked over to the vanity. All her things were still there, just as she had left them. She remembered the last time she was in this room, the night that had changed everything. Yet now, even though it was all the same as she left it, something about the room felt different. It felt warm, and inviting. Just like she had felt when she stood at the entrance earlier. It felt like her room, for the first time.
Murtasim stood behind her with a smile, silently adoring her while she scanned the room. As her eyes took it all in, they landed on the neatly folded blanket and pillow on the blue sofa. A mixed wave of confusion and realisation swept through her as she turned around to face him, "mere jaane ke baad bhi yahin sotei thei?" She said heavily, unable to hide the lump that had formed in her throat and the new tears in her eyes.
"Hmm" he hummed softly, lifting a hand to tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear then wiping the tear that escaped using the pad of his thumb. "Aaj se mat sona" she laughed, choking on a sob and he responded with more laughter, nodding in response. A soothing warmth settled in his chest when Meerab suddenly hugged him, nestling her head in his chest as her tears dampened the fabric of his white kameez. He instantly hugged back, his body craving it like a drug. The small hairs on the top of her head tickled his lips as he placed a reassuring kiss and rubbed her arms while pressing her closer to himself, neither of them ever wanting to let go.
And in that moment, it all felt complete. After everything they had been through, Meerab and Murtasim felt stronger than ever as they stood there, in their room, in each others arms. They were each other's safe haven, the source of each other's happiness, the apple of each other's eyes and the love of each other's lives.
And after everything, they lived happily ever after.
****
Come onnnnnn did y'all really believe I was gonna kill my Meeru? Pfftt no way in hell! I love her too much to do that.
(It's okay if you still wanna kill me lol I deserve it for putting y'all through hell hehe)