BELLE
° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" I yell as loud as I can to no one as I watch the two monkeys fight.
I let out a laugh when of the them kick the referee in the butt. "Belle?"
I pause the YouTube video and look up smiling. "Yes?"
"Are you watching two orangutans fight?" Hunter asks as he enters my room.
"Yes I am, it's so funny! Come watch!" I pat the spot next to my bed, pausing the video so he doesn't miss anything. "Should I start from the beginning?"
When I look up, he's staring at me with a small smile. "Don't worry, I'm gonna leave anyway,"
"Oh," I nod, "practice?"
"No, we're going out to some place with coach,"
I nod, smiling when he sighs about the fact he's going out. "You don't want to go?"
I laugh when he shakes his head and crosses his arms against his chest. "I rather be here with you and watching fucking orangutans fight,"
"I'm sure whatever you guys are doing is going to be fun. And if you're so criminally bored, text me okay? I'll answer obviously. Unless I'm beatboxing for money, then I'm not sure I'll be able to answer,"
He nods, "You're too talented,"
I sigh dramatically, "so they say,"
I get up from my bed and leave my room, Hunter following me. "When are you guys supposed to meet up?"
He looks at his watch then frowns. "Six minutes ago,"
"Hunter!" I screech, "You're late!" I turn him around, my hands on his back as I push him toward the door.
I grin, "Damn, I'm strong," he stops walking and I crush into his back. "What was that for? I was channeling my inner boxing self, you're my warmup,"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! Oh. Not like that though, you know,"
"I know what you meant Belle,"
I show him a pathetic thumbs up. "Bye Belle,"
"Bye Grumpy!" I close the door on him, a few seconds later my phone dings with a message.
Hunter 👰: i miss u.
Me: Hi! Who's this?
I'm laughing evilly when I walk back into my room, my smile fading when I get a call from the hospital. My grandmas hospital.
I answer immediately, my nerves spiking. "Hello?"
"Is this Belle Huxley?"
"Yes," I say, voice shaking.
"There's been an incident,"
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I'm panicking, I'm crying and I can't breathe. I dont have a car so I caught an Uber to the hospital which was two hours away.
I dont know if my grandma is okay, I don't know anything.
My heart hurts, my whole body hurts. "Are you okay?" My driver asks.
"Mhm," I say shakily, dropping cash in front of the driver, thanking him hurriedly.
I rush into the hospital, into the elevator and onto the level my grandma is on. She's alone. She doesn't have her daughter, I'm the closest thing to a daughter she has.
My hearts breaking and I'm sure any doctor in this facility won't be able to fix it.
"I'm here for Vera Willson," I say to the lady sitting on the chair in front of me.
"Are you family?"
"She's my grandma," I rush out, "her daughter passed away so she has no one but me. I'm her emergency numb-" she cuts me off by giving me her room number.
I run around the hospital, frantic to find the room she lays in.
When I find her room, there's doctors surrounding her bed. "Hello?" I break the silence.
"Hi!" One of the doctors smile at me softly. "I'm Doctor Laura, I'm taking care of your..."
"Grandma," I finish for her. "She's my grandma. How is she?"
"Her Alzheimer is getting worse. She's forgetting more frequently and more longer. She ran away crying in the neighbourhood, knocking on doors to ask where she was and asking if any of them have Emilia. One of your neighbours called an ambulance,"
"Does she remember now?" I ask, fidgeting with my bracelets.
"She's currently stabled. But she did break her arm fighting the man who called the hospital,"
"I'm sorry," I mumble, fighting back the tears. I can't imagine what she's going through. She always told me how it killed her that she didn't die before her daughter, she's grieving the loss of her husband and daughter. I can't even begin to imagine the depression.
"In a few minutes we're going to come back and give her antibiotics and painkillers for her arm," Doctor Laura says. I nod and move inside the room, the smell of hospital air makes me feel insanely claustrophobic.
"Hi Grams," I say softly, holding her hand in mine as I move the chair closer to her bed.
"Hi Belle," her eyes are teary and the monitor beeping steadily fills my ears.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better sweetheart. I'm feeling better,"
"I'm going to stay with you for a little okay? I'll stay in the guest room, we'll do what I did before,"
She shakes her head slowly. "Belle, sweetie," her voice is low and raspy and my heart accelerates. I can't lose her too, I won't lose her.
"I won't be here forever," she says the things I was dreading most, "you can't stop your life for me. I'm not getting better,"
I wipe the tear that falls down my face aggressively, "Stop saying that. You're going to get better." Maybe that's the 13 year old Belle that's still grieving the loss of her parents talking. Maybe that's the 14 year old Belle who watched her Grandma forget who she was talking. Maybe that's the 16 year old alcoholic talking. Maybe that's the 18 year old suicidal Belle talking. Maybe that's the 20 year old Belle who's scared to lose the only alive relative talking.
"Belle, listen to me. Please," she says. I cover my ears and shake my head. I won't listen to her tell me she's going to leave me. I can't and I wont.
She takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. "You're strong Belle. I can feel it in me Sweetheart, I'm going to be leaving soon. And when I do, if I do, you're going to be okay,"
"I won't be okay," I croak out, "you're the only person I have left. Who's going to be there for me when I lose everyone. You're my mother figure, the closest thing I have to a best friend," I watch as a tear fall down her face and her monitor starts beeping rapidly.
My heart feels like it's matching hers, like we're racing one another on who's gonna be more heartbroken. I stressed her out and now she's panicking. A doctor rushes in, a few following behind her. They're telling me something but I can't hear because I'm frozen in place.
A doctor places their hand on the small of my back and walks me outside. I shake my head, yelling at them to not take her away from me.
"Promise me she'll be okay,"
They shake their head, "I'm sorry, I can't promise you that,"
Tears are falling down my face and I just want the world to stop coming at me. To just leave me the fuck alone because I cannot do this any longer.
I'm in the waiting room, my knees up to my chest as I bawl silently in a corner. I haven't checked my phone since I called an Uber.
Hunter 👰: U ok? Is beatboxing taking too much of ur time?
No, I'm not. His others messages consist of him being extremely bored and me not answering like I said I would means I'm a traitor. I know he's joking, but my I cry even more before typing out a message.
Me: Hi! Sorry been a bit busy, I'll text you when I can!
He answers instantly.
Hunter 👰: Good, ur ok. Got me worried, where r u?
I don't want to tell him because I know he'll show up. And him seeing me fall apart once is good enough. I will not let him pity me because I can't keep it together.
Me: I'm with my grandma, we went out 😍. Sorry text u later. Try having fun!
"Belle Huxley?" I look up when my name is called, stuffing my phone in my pocket.
"Yes?"
"Vera is stabled again. We're going to keep her here for a few nights," I nod as he talks to me, worrying because I don't have enough money with me right now to pay for her overnight stay and ambulance trip.
"Do you know how much this is all going to cost?"
"If you go to the front, they'll let you know. At the moment you just have to pay for the ambulance. But for the overnights stay, you'll pay when she's discharged,"
"Is she okay?"
"She's asleep right now, it's best if you let her sleep. You can stay in the room until visiting hours are over,"
"Thank you so much," I whisper, keeping my head down as I walk into her room. She sleeps peacefully on the bed, her soft snores filling the room.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I kiss her cheek and sit on the chair, taking of my jumper to use as a blanket. I'm going to watch her and make sure she's okay.
Would I drop out of my senior year of college just to take care of her? I would. A million times I would.
That's the least I could do.
My dreams to be a musician aren't as important as making sure she's okay. When I was a junior, I missed two semesters and took online classes just to be there for her. I was behind plenty and I barely passed. But I'll do it again. I'd swore to myself she'd be my first priority. Tomorrow, I'll go back to Elmore U and talk to my principle and teachers. They were hesitant to do it last year but maybe they'll understand again.
I know I could lose my spot. But I don't care. I really don't.
I watch her for an hour or two before I get up and head toward the receptionist.
"Hi again," I say stupidly. She smiles softly at me when she notices my puffy eyes.
I ask her how much the ambulance costs, my jaw dropping when she tells me it's $550 since the location was further out.
"$550?" I repeat.
"Yes,"
I nod and pay, relief washing over me. "How much do you think 4 nights in the hospital would be?" I rush out, heat flooding my cheeks.
"Around $13000,"
"Okay, thank you!" I can pay that, I know I can. I have enough money to help her out, but with the medication, everything else is going to be even more expensive.
I'm back in the room and sigh, my body to tired to cry. Instead, I text Hunter.
I read his last message, smiling when he tells me to have fun and he misses me.
Me: hi!
Hunter 👰: hi beautiful. when ru coming back?
Me: I think I'm staying here for the night.
Hunter 👰: is everything okay?
I debate on whether or not I should tell the truth. I should, I know I should. But having to tell him that I'm going to be financially unstable, that I'm scared I'm going to lose someone I love soon makes it feel all too real.
I don't want it to be real. So maybe I can live in denial for a little longer. I lie to him, I lie and I lie as I text him how much fun I had with grandma.
Me: Enough about me, how was your day out?
Hunter 👰: Would've been better if I saw you.
Me: I'm so missable, it hurts 😔
Hunter 👰: It pains me.
Me: You say all the right things Hunter, do you know that?
Hunter 👰: I was taught well by someone.
Me: That someone is me right 🤨🤨?
Hunter 👰: Maybe 🤷 can we FaceTime?
I look at the time, noticing I have 14 minutes left before visiting hours are over and I'm forced to go back home.
Me: I know I said I'll be staying here with my Grandma but can I stay with you tonight?
Me: Nevermind. That was dumb.
Hunter 👰: Stay with me. Please.
Me: Since you need me there so bad ✊ can you pick me up?
Hunter 👰: from your grandmas house?
The walk from here to my grandmas house is around an hour. I sigh and decide I can lie and say she hurt herself.
Me: How about from the hospital?
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I was in the cold for about an hour and a half before I saw Hunters car pull up. I force a smile onto my face and open the passenger side door.
"Hey Hunter!" I don't make eye contact with him when I'm putting on my seatbelt.
"Belle what the fuck."
"Oh," I mumble, "what?"
"Hospital? What the fuck happened?"
"Nothing. We went shopping and when we were walking down the stairs, she slipped and broke her arm. We've been here for a few hours. That's all,"
"Is she okay?" When I look up at him, his jaw is clenched, his hair is messy and his fingers are tight around the steering wheel.
"I think she is,"
"Are you okay?"
No. "Yes,"
He nods as he drives away from the hospital. 25 minutes into the car ride, he stops on the side of the road.
"Belle," he sighs, "Can you tell me the truth now?"
And that undid it for me, I broke down again. And I hate myself immensely for it. "I can't lose her Hunter, I physically and mentally won't be able to handle that,"
I dont know how I ended up on his lap but I did, his arms come around me as I ramble on and on about how I might have to do online or even worse, drop out. On my last fucking year.
"It's not fair, I don't know what I did. I dont know why I'm getting punished, I'm so sick of tired of it Hunter,"
"She'll be okay Belle," he wipes away my tears with one hand but they're coming fast.
"She won't Hunter. You didn't see her! You didn't hear what she told me. And I lied and said I was having fun but that was the worst thing I went through and I had to go through it alone Hunter. I wanted to call you so bad but you were out and I feel like a burden and now I'm crying over something so irrelevant," I hiccup during each sob.
"I told you once Belle and I'll tell you again, you're not a burden. You're thoughts are important. You're important. You don't have to pretend your happy so people don't worry about you Belle,"
"I don't like worrying so why would I make other people worry. I rather die than make them sad Hunter,"
"You're not making anyone sad,"
"I made her sad. And she panicked and- and I couldn't even see her after because they had to-" I suck in a breathe, not being able to form anymore words.
"Belle," he says quietly, "can you promise me something?"
I shake my head. "If I promise you something, I don't break it. And I know what you're about to say is going to make me break that Hunter. Don't do that to me, please don't,"
"Promise me you'll call me when you feel sad or alone,"
I shake my head, trying to get off his lap and onto the seat next to him but he doesn't let me. "I'm not going to do that Hunter,"
"Belle," he cups my face gently, "I want to know when you're miserable, when you're happy, when you're excited. I want to know you,"
"You do know me Hunter, you know me better than anyone,"
"Promise that Belle,"
I stay silent for a moment, my face still in his hands when I whisper, "I promise,"
"Thank you," he says gently. I didn't even realise it was raining until I'm back in my seat, my throat scratchy. We stop at a gas station and I watch Hunter the whole time. He comes back in the car a few minutes later with two different sandwiches, water and a box of cookies.
"I didn't know which one you liked so I got you both," he mutters quietly and starts the car, exiting the gas station.
"Thank you, that's really nice of you Hunter," I smile softly at him and open one of the sandwiches, eating it in less then a minute.
I ate all of the sandwiches and nearly finished my water when I open my box of cookies. "Do you want one?"
"I'm okay, thank you,"
"More for me then," I grin, before remembering I shouldn't be happy. My grandma is in the hospital.
"Belle, what are you thinking?" He looks over at me and for a split second it looks like he was memorising my guilty facial expression.
"I shouldn't be happy right?"
"You should be happy." He corrects.
"But I should feel guilty, she's alone right now,"
"Visiting hours are over Belle, there's nothing you could've done," I nod at his words and smile, thanking him.
The rain isn't as heavy as it was before. I take in the sound, wondering how it'd feel if I was standing under it right now. Hunter stops the car but he doesn't turn it off.
He has this stupid, pretty, loveable grin on his face when he speaks, "if I remember correctly, you wanted to dance in the rain?"
I couldn't hold back the squeal I let out. "You remembered?"
He nods.
"Should I start speaking British and ask you formally to dance in the rain with me,"
"I'll do you one better," I'm confused when he gets his phone out and starts typing. When he turns up the volume and daylight by Taylor Swift starts playing, I completely lose it.
"Would you like to dance with me in the rain, Belle Huxley?"
"I would love too, Hunter Maxwell," I say in a British accent. His laugh sounds like music and I go to open the car door but he reaches over and stops me. He gets out first and runs to my side, opening it for me.
I take a hold of his hand, the rain drenching our hair and clothes. But he doesn't care, he pulls me closer to him and puts my arms around his neck.
His arms go around my waist and I can't help but feel incredibly safe with him. Taylor's voice in the background makes me feel like I'm a main character in a movie. And I have Hunter to thank for that.
My cheek is on his chest as we sway slowly to Daylight and I hum the lyrics softly. "I love this song," I tell him.
"I think it's my new favourite on Lover,"
"Mine too," I whisper softly. The clattering sound of raindrops that fall on the ground swiftly but our song is louder than the rain.
"Let it all go Belle, just for a few seconds," he whispers softly in my ear, "you'll be okay Beautiful, everything will be okay,"
And I believe him.
In this moment, with him, I feel like I'm going to be okay.
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Hi! sorry I didn't update yesterday, I went out and didn't have much time to finish the chapter. I had a math exam and science aswell.
I know this chapter is a bit sad but I wanted to show that no matter how happy a person can be, there's always a weight pulling them down.
SEE U NEXT FRIDAY!
NOT EDITED
HOPE YOU HAVE GREAT DAY OR NIGHT!
I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER, DONT BE A SILENT READER AND COMMENT AND VOTE
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!