elizabeth awoke to the sound of the telephone ringing. she groaned and got up from bed, stretching. she trudged to the living room and picked up.
"hello?"
a familiar voice came from the other side of the line, speaking in a singsong manner. "guess who just got back from california," elizabeth immediately started smiling ear to ear.
"melissa, is that you?? golly, how've you been? talk about a wake up call."
"i'm great, aside from the fact that my parents decided to invite their friends over for a get together. it makes no sense, who the hell does that the day they get back from vacation? they must've taken some sort of anti-jet lag vaccine or somethin'," the words spilled out of melissa's mouth, and elizabeth took in every single one. "so, i'm just here in my room, avoiding their boring talk about their businesses and companies and all that jazz."
"sounds... exerting. both physically and mentally," elizabeth laughed. "wanna meet up at the lake in about an hour?"
"sure, sounds good to me. love you ellie, see you soon." melissa made a kissing sound into the phone and hung up before elizabeth had a chance to even respond. she just smiled and shook her head, used to her friend's overexcited behavior.
after brushing her teeth, showering, and braiding her hair, she put on a pair of jeans and one of two-bit's old mickey mouse sweaters. she put her notebook in her small backpack and threw it around her shoulders, starting the walk to the lake where melissa was probably already waiting.
hearing elizabeth's footsteps, melissa turned around from the tire swing she was sitting on, jumping up and running into elizabeth's arms.
"oh my god, ellie, i've missed you!" she pulled back from the hug, her smile radiating pure happiness. "the two months that i was gone felt like two years."
elizabeth's smile wavered. in the months that her best friend was gone, so much had changed. she had changed.
and it was never for herself.
it was to conform to what everybody else believed was correct. she was always trying to be someone that wasn't her, and her mindset was that she could be what was expected of her; her feelings didn't matter because as long as she was able to finally make something of herself, she would finally be allowed to be happy.
she would be able to take the reins of her life once she figured herself out.
elizabeth knew that wasn't happening soon, but she was willing to wait. she smiled back at melissa, with no intention of telling her how she felt about everything. she didn't want to ruin her day.
"it really did melly, you suck for leavin' me for so long," she joked, "i was forced to hang out with the likes of ponyboy and two-bit."
melissa tucked a strand of hair away from her face. "aw, c'mon, ellie, they aren't that bad. be glad you don't have to deal with my sister. she's so bossy and rubs it in my face about bein' able to do more just cause she's older." elizabeth gave her a face. "okay fine, that may not be as bad as what you got." she cleared her throat awkwardly, "so, uh, anythin' interesting happen while i was gone? she sat down, pulling at the grass and ripping them apart.
elizabeth sat down next to her friend and shrugged, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her them. "not really," she watched melissa tear up the green blades surrounding them one by one. "well, actually, ponyboy's finally twelve."
melissa nodded in response, quiet for a few moments. "you know," she said, breaking into the interrupting the stiff and tense atmosphere, "you haven't exactly told me how you've been."
"i'm okay."
elizabeth looked into her warm brown eyes that only projected warmth and understanding.
love.
she reached into her small backpack and pulled out her notebook, flipping through the pages. she closed it and tentatively handed it to melissa.
the notebook is the key to her brain. she watched her friend slowly unlock it, looking into her memories and thought processes from the months in which she were gone.
elizabeth started to get anxious, fidgeting with her braid.
finally, after what seemed like hours, melissa reached the last page that elizabeth had worked on. so many doodles and words that meant so many things at once. endless entries and poems and drawings that traveled from her best friend's mind to the tips of her fingers, escaping the prison cell through the pencil. the notebook was temporary freedom.
she didn't say anything. she just leaned over and gave elizabeth an affectionate and tender hug.
surprised, elizabeth didn't reciprocate at first, but then she slowly wrapped her arms around her.
"i'm here for you, ellie," melissa whispered, and pulled away, staring deeply into her eyes, as if searching for an answer. "you don't have to grow up so quickly, ya know," she said slowly, looking down at her lap, "i think you just gotta be who you want, and um... try to make yourself happy. if someone says you gotta be a particular way, they don't know nothin'. at least, they don't know you. you're only thirteen, after all, you don't gotta be an adult when you're barely a teenager." ellie began to chew on her lip.
melissa paused and looked over at the lake. "i think it's good that you've been expressing yourself in this here notebook. it prevents you from bottling everything up, and you don't become numb. you can actually feel somethin'."
"but that's the thing, melly," ellie began, "i don't know how to feel. about anything. i don't know if i should be sad, or angry, or frustrated. i just know that every day i wake up with a feelin' of dread."
melissa smiled softly. "and that's okay. we'll figure it out together." she shrugged, "who ever said life made sense anyhow?" ellie smiled back, feeling much more grateful for her friend than ever before.
its what keeps me going.
without melissa, ellie would be lost.
₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊
september 12th, 1962.
"all right, class, i want you to get into pairs. but don't you go and start grouping with your friends; i'm picking your partners."
while the class groaned, elizabeth's heart just sank. she had no friends in here, and most of them were socs. she would've preferred to work alone, but this project was a two-person job.
"miss coleman, go sit with elizabeth. miss mathews, raise your hand."
elizabeth raised her hand slowly. she was paired with a soc, how wonderful!
melissa walked over to the lab bench where elizabeth was sitting alone, and sat down. "hi, i'm melissa, nice to meet ya," her voice was friendly and welcoming.
elizabeth looked at melissa, taking in her soft, brown eyes and her bright red hair that managed to be neat and messy at the same time. she was a bit taken aback by melissa's kindness. "i'm elizabeth. it's nice to meet you too."
there was no doubt that melissa was a soc, with her nylon sweaters pleated skirts. so why was she being so nice to a greaser like her?
"why are you talking to me when we don't have to yet?" elizabeth's eyes immediately widened in realization. "sorry, that was rude, uh, i meant—you're a soc and i'm a greaser and um socs don't like greasers and they care about their social status don't you care about yours?" elizabeth's face flushed red. interactions with strangers never came easy to her, especially those perceived to be of more significance than herself.
melissa giggled lightly at this, but it wasn't in a mean way. "i don't care about all that, a person is more than the amount of money they got. a good person is a good person and a bad person's bad," she shrugged. "you haven't done anythin' to me or my family, why should i treat you like trash?"
"hm." elizabeth smiled, feeling the disquiet melt away. now that she thought about it, she'd never seen melissa joining the other socs in taunting greasers. in fact, she was usually alone, whether it was in class or at lunch. she was a social reject.
"if you don't mind me askin', why don't you ever hang out with the other socs?"
melissa's smile faltered and she rubbed her hands together awkwardly. "well, uh, they don't really like me? which i get, 'hang out with the other side, you must not wanna be a soc.' but i don't even hang out with greasers, cause they don't like me either. y'know, bein' born into a well-to-do family automatically makes you a soc, and no greaser really wants to be caught hangin' with one of us."
elizabeth's eyebrows knitted together. "so, do you just, not have friends?"
"yes and no, i guess. most of our parents know each other, so they'd look out for me and stuff, and they treat me okay around adults. but they don't really spend time with me for fun, ya dig?
elizabeth nodded. "that makes sense, i don't judge people based off their social class, either." she looked down at the frog they were supposed to be dissecting and grimaced. "you wouldn't mind doing the hands-on part while i write the notes, would you?"
"i was hoping i could get to do the fun stuff," melissa laughed.
-
"well, this is it. my room." elizabeth hoped she wouldn't get judged by the lack of items she owned, or the condition of the house in general.
"it's awful pretty, did you paint this?" she pointed to a framed painting above elizabeth's bed.
"yeah, it's of this lake i like to go to. gives me room to think." she turned around swiftly when she heard her door open.
"hey, ellie, i was wondering if—" two-bit mathews stood in the doorway, looking at the unknown girl. "well, well, what's a soc doing in my house?" he cocked an eyebrow and looked to his younger sister questioningly.
"she's my new friend. her name's melissa," elizabeth answered. melissa awkwardly waved.
"now, that's a shock." he stepped into the room and ruffled elizabeth's hair. "ellie here don't know how to talk to people, let alone make friends."
elizabeth smoothed her hair down. "yeah, yeah, what do you want, two?"
"i was just askin' if you wanted me to bring anythin' back from the from the store."
"no, i'm okay. you want anything, melissa?" when she shook her head, elizabeth turned back to her brother, "why're you going to the store anyway? is dal going or somethin'?"
"no, mama's workin' late tonight so i'm gettin' the groceries." he turned towards the door, but paused and turned back around and faced melissa. "good luck, by the way. there's a reason echo don't got no friends," elizabeth threw a pillow at him as he howled with laughter and walked out of the room.
she sighed. "well, that's two-bit for ya. my older brother that can't take nothin' serious."
"two-bit? why's he called that?" melissa ran her fingers over the covers of elizabeth's vinyl records.
"careful with those, i spent a long time saving up for those." she sat down on her bed, leaning against the wall. "his actual name's keith, but calling him that is ill-advised. everyone calls him two-bit cause he doesn't know how to shut up and always has to get his two bits in. he's a real jokester, too, if you couldn't tell." she brushed her hair out of her face. "i swear, his laugh alone can give you a headache. but he can be funny sometimes, too. he's not all that bad."
melissa smiled with understanding. "he sounds real nice."
₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊
with a smile, i look over at the sunset
ellie watched the leaves part from their branches and gracefully descend towards the ground, fluttering lightly in the wind. everything had a tint similar to one of an apricot; the setting sun casting a beautiful glow upon the landscape and everything that comes with it. the water had a mesmerizing rippling effect as it reflected the maturing sky.
melissa's voice broke through ellie's thoughts. "do you think leaves are called leaves cause they leave the tree?"
ellie laughed, "what?"
"think about it. it's like how flies are called flies cause they fly, or an orange is called orange cause it's orange. wait a minute. is it the other way around? is orange called orange cause oranges are orange or are oranges called orange cause they're orange?"
"i think you needa stop thinking and just enjoy this moment, melly." she sighed contentedly. "it's all so mellow and dulcet."
melissa looked at the lake for a bit before she spoke again. "this whole thing reminds me of humans, in a way. our lives slowly go before us, just as the sun."
disappearing over the horizon
ellie took melissa's hand in hers, closing her eyes. "close your eyes, melly. takin' away one sense heightens the others. listen to it all. the leaves rustling, the grass blades brushing against each other."
melissa opened her eyes. "you're holdin' my hands too tightly. i can feel your pulse from your fingers."
ellie opened her eyes and frowned. "im serious, melissa," she closed her eyes again.
"okay, okay. jeez ... i can feel the wind ticklin' my skin." she opened her eyes discreetly and observed her best friend. the way her eyebrows were furrowed. how her mouth wasn't smiling like usual. the worry lines on her forehead. "ellie... the cycle of a sun throughout the day isn't just humanity. it's you. it's the same thing over and over again. and while it is beautiful—while you are beautiful, you wake up every day and feel the same things without anythin' gettin' better."
reminding me of you
"sure, the sun will rise and set every day, and nothin' can change that. but every day, you see it slowly goin' down."
until it is a thin sliver.
"i worry that you try your hardest to ignore your internal struggles, elle. and i'm sorry for not noticin' it before," a tear slipped down melissa's freckled cheek.
"it's okay," ellie said softly, looking down at her beat up converse.
"it's not.cause the sun will rise easily again. once that glow inside of you is gone, it's real hard to get it back. i don't wanna see that happen to my favorite person, but you can't deny it forever, lovely. the stars of yours are fading."
deteriorating sunlight.
"i'm here with you every step of the way, ellie, don't you forget that for one second. when i became your friend i planned to be your friend all the way. none of that half-ass crap. cause fake friends are like shadows. they follow you in the sun and leave you in the dark."
but the everlasting rays between me and you
melissa looked ellie in the eyes, who quickly looked away. "i don't want you to tell me anythin' you don't want to. i just want you to promise me you'll stop overworkin' yourself, stop ignorin' what your heart is telling you. she gave ellie a strong hug.
will never die.
"i'm the one who told you to feel, but now i'm not so sure about that," ellie laughed sadly.
"hey," melissa pulled back and looked into her friend's eyes again, but this time she didn't break the eye contact. "it's okay to feel, even if it's not happy. i know you know this. and it's okay to talk to people, you're not a burden, you don't bother anybody with your problems. you're human." she sniffled, trying not to cry anymore.
ellie couldn't help but feel guilty for bringing this upon her best friend.
"you may not always know the answers to everythin', but just know that your friends and family love you, even if it they're mean to you sometimes. and if not, at least I do."
-
a/n: sorry this chapter is so short i haven't had much time to write today 💔💔
but also if you're going through anything don't ever be afraid to reach out to someone you trust <33