Chapter 11 of "Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship," titled "Put the Guy on the 'To Do' List," discusses the importance of maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life that includes various priorities, interests, and goals. Sherry Argov emphasizes the significance of not letting a romantic relationship consume all of one's time and energy, and she offers insights into how to maintain a sense of independence and personal fulfillment while being in a partnership.
Argov opens the chapter by addressing the common tendency for individuals to become so absorbed in a new relationship that they neglect other aspects of their lives, such as their friendships, hobbies, and personal growth. She explains that this intense focus on the relationship can lead to imbalance and may ultimately negatively impact the partnership.
Key themes explored in this chapter include:
Balancing Priorities: The author advocates for maintaining a sense of balance by ensuring that a romantic relationship is just one aspect of a person's life. By having a diverse range of interests and priorities, individuals can avoid becoming overly dependent on their partner for happiness and fulfillment.
Preserving Independence: Argov emphasizes the importance of preserving one's sense of independence and individuality within a relationship. She suggests that maintaining personal interests and activities helps keep the spark alive and contributes to a healthier dynamic.
Creating Boundaries: The chapter discusses the significance of setting boundaries and not sacrificing personal goals or well-being for the sake of the relationship. Individuals should continue pursuing their own dreams and aspirations, even while being in a partnership.
Prioritizing Self-Care: Argov explores the idea that taking care of oneself is essential for being a good partner. By maintaining physical, emotional, and mental well-being, individuals can contribute positively to the relationship.
Avoiding Over-Functioning: The author warns against the trap of over-functioning in a relationship, where one partner takes on excessive responsibilities or invests more effort than the other. This can lead to resentment and burnout.
Throughout the chapter, Argov provides practical advice and relatable examples to illustrate her points. She emphasizes that putting a romantic partner on the "to-do" list, rather than at the center of one's universe, contributes to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.
In summary, Chapter 11 of "Why Men Love Bitches" underscores the importance of maintaining a sense of balance, independence, and personal fulfillment within a romantic relationship. By actively pursuing their own interests, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, individuals can create a dynamic that is vibrant, mutually respectful, and enduring. The chapter serves as a guide for fostering a partnership that thrives on the strengths and individuality of both partners.