02 - Silas and His Ways of Love
"I better not see you crashing the party later," I told Silas while applying makeup. "Ginawa mo na iyan last year, mahahalata kung gagawin mo ulit ngayon."
He snorted. "I'll think about it, angel."
We just got home after having dinner at the steakhouse with Silas' mother. She wanted to treat me as part of her birthday gift when it should've been me who's supposed to give a blow out.
Nakakahiya pero hindi ko rin mapigilang matuwa dahil sa pagtrato sa akin ng mga magulang ni Silas. Kung ano ang mga magulang ko sa kanya, ganoon din ang kanya sa akin, especially Tita Katherine. I was told she wanted to have a daughter so bad, yet, unfortunate to have one. So she's giving the things she wanted for a female child to me, after all, I will soon be her daughter-in-law.
My lips curved down when Silas kept on giving me playful looks, not agreeing to what I just said. "I said don't."
"Yeah, and I said I'll think about it-" He burst into laughter when I threw my setting spray at him. "Yes, baby, I won't."
"So..." I looked at him from head to toe. He's wearing a black dress shirt in which the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He paired it with white linen shorts then his white Air Force 1. "Where are you going after driving me to the resort?"
He looked a bit hesitant but managed to answer straight. "I'll be drinking with the boys."
"Don't drink too much," I reminded him before we left the penthouse.
It took us thirty minutes to get to the resort I rented for my birthday party. Although a struggle and waste of time, I still transferred to the backseat of Silas' car before going out to make it look like it was my driver who drove me to the venue.
Just as I stepped to the entrance, my gaze met Dalia's who turned out to be waiting for me to come. She is the only one from my circle of friends in school who knows about my relationship and, well, set-up with Silas.
"Are you sure wala kang inimbitang iba galing sa mga pamilya natin?" She asked for another time.
"You're more nervous than me as if you'll be the one in trouble if someone sees that I'm not celebrating with my fiancé," I told her in a light tone to ease her over thinking. "Puro kasamahan lang natin sa Behavioral Sciences ang narito tsaka mga kasamahan ko sa org. Relax."
Loud pop music, colorful lights, numerous beach balls and floaties above lighted pools... oh it sets up the mood. I noticed that most of my guests arrived earlier than me, and I guess that is why Dalia has been waiting for me at the entrance earlier, because the party has been starting without the celebrant.
"Happy birthday, Sea!"
Every person I encounter on my way gives me their greetings and gifts. For most of the time, I just kept on holding boxes and bags in my hands which kinda makes me unable to enjoy the night so I decided to ask the other guests who just arrived to place their presents on the long table near the jacuzzi. Humalo na ako sa ibang mga tao rito na para bang iisa lang ang mga gusto naming gawin: magsaya.
"Birthday girl!" Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng tinig at nakita si Khiel, isa sa mga kasamahan ko sa student government. Maligaya niya akong nilapitan habang may hawak na isang serving ng molten lava cake. He then eyed me from head to toe before letting out an amused sigh. "Naks, Seraphina Restrivera! Fiercer and bolder ang peg, ah?"
"Hot and hotter, you mean," Dalia corrected humorously and their palms met in the air.
Aliw akong napailing sa kanila at pinagmasdan ang aking sarili. It's just a short and fitted red satin dress plus my maroon Saint Laurent Opyum sandals and ruby necklace.
Masyado namang inexaggerate nina Dalia at Khiel ang paglalarawan sa style ko ngayong gabi. I didn't even wear red lipstick to not make myself look intimidating nor look like I was trying to be sexy.
"Guest list? I have a copy of Sea's invited guests. Wait, I'll check if it's still in my gallery," Dalia responded to Khiel when he asked for my guest list.
"What for?" I asked. Halos hindi ko na kasi sila pinapansin noong pinagmamasdan ko ang aking sarili at nasasabayan din ang mga boses nila ng ingay na nagmumula sa party.
"Titignan ko nga sabi kung may inimbita kang galing sa course niyo ni Dalia na matitipuhan ko!" Khiel shouted.
"Oh... boy or girl?" I asked in response. Paiba-iba naman kasi ng taste si Khiel, I don't know what is his flavor for the night. "I can introduce you to some girls here. Aanhin mo pa ang guest list, narito naman ako?"
Khiel laughed. "Aba! Malay ko ba! Ayaw ko naman kuhanin ang oras mo kasi birthday mo. Deserve mong mag-enjoy. Pero dahil nag-alok ka na rin... nasaan ba?"
Being able to catch up with some friends that I haven't hanged out in a while with due to different schedules is one of the few things I look forward to in this party, kaya wala ring problema sa akin kung isisingit ko sa mga mapag-uusapan namin ng mga makakasalamuha ko ang pagrereto kay Khiel.
I pointed him to the girls I invited only for him to end up targeting my guy friend from the College of Business and Economics Department whom I met in the organization for the university paper.
"How come I never noticed that the photographer for the university paper is that hot?" ani Khiel. Napailing na lang ako.
Dalia and I were about to walk away and let Khiel do his thing until a group of boys walked into the pool area. My eyes widened when I noticed that it was Silas and his friends.
"Sabi may nagbibirthday daw dito!?" Conrad gained everyone's attention and some even pointed their fingers towards me while cheering. "Ooh... Liberal Arts Sexy-tary! Happiest birthday! Mind if we join?"
"Idiots," Dalia whispered beside me.
Magkasama sina Silas at Conrad na naglakad patungo sa kinatatayuan namin habang ang iba nilang mga kaibigan ay nakihalubilo na sa iba kong mga bisita. Agad kong tinignan nang masama si Silas at napansin niya iyon. He raised both of his arms up as if he's surrendering.
"Pinilit ako ni Conrad. I didn't want to go here," he reasoned out.
Conrad roared in laughter. "Sus! Ginusto mo rin," he told him. He then turned to me, "Relax, Sea. There's nothing fishy about it, ako naman ang gumawa ng eksena at hindi si Silas."
"So magmumukha na ikaw ang may gusto kay Seraphina tapos parehas na engagements niyo ang mapupunta sa alanganin kapag pumutok ang balita?" pagbabalik ni Dalia kay Conrad. "Galingan mo pa, Laxamana."
"You'll need me to do the same thing for you when time comes, Dalia," Conrad teased. "Lalo pa at balita ko, may lihim ka raw na kinikitang lalaki?"
"You deal with these two morons, Seraphina. I'll be with the others," Dalia told me, completely ignoring what Conrad said. Iniwan na niya kaming tatlo at nakisama na sa iba naming mga kaibigan.
Silas went to my side. Pasimple niyang ipinadaan ang mga daliri sa aking braso. "Are you not happy?" he asked in a whisper.
Agad akong umiling. For a second, I thought that I might have made him think that I was disappointed and unhappy with his presence in my birthday bash when I wasn't and the truth is that I was only just shocked and was overthinking.
Well, okay, I must say I have a little feeling of dismay. Not because he came here, but because I saw a small bruise on the corner of his lips. Wala pa iyon kanina noong bago niya ako ihatid sa resort.
Lumapit pa akong kaunti kay Silas para mas maintindihan niya ang ibubulong ko. Wala rin naman masyado napapalingon sa gawi namin lalo pa at si Conrad ay may iniinom nang vodka sa tabi ko, hindi na masyadong nag-iingay.
"Jacuzzi. Meet me in ten minutes," I told him in the lowest and softest voice I could before turning my back and walking towards the jacuzzi area. As I went to a further distance, nilingon kong muli kung saan ko iniwan si Silas, pinapanood niya ako habang kinakausap siya at inaalok ng inumin ng kaibigan.
Wala masyadong tumatambay sa jacuzzi area dahil may kalayuan ito kung nasaan ang saya at mga pagkain. Kung mayroon man, it's just those who tend to have a make out session. Thankfully, when I reached the area, the couple I found earlier was already gone. Ako na lang ang narito.
Silas did exactly as I instructed. He came to meet me after minutes and we both hid behind the tall plants.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'll leave if you really don't want me here-"
"You got into a fight?" I asked softly, I couldn't help but even express my worry. "Ang paalam mo sa akin... iinom ka lang."
He cupped both of my cheeks and had his head rest onto mine. "Hindi ka naman papayag kapag sinabi ko kung saan talaga ako pupunta kanina."
I pouted. "Silas naman!"
"Hush." He planted a kiss on my lips. "It's nothing serious. I'm good."
Napapikit na lang ako at ibinaon ang aking ulo sa kanyang leeg. His hands curled to waist to pull me closer, enough to make it seem like we're hugging each other.
"Do you want me to go home?" His warm breath tickled my ear.
"Narito ka na, palalayasin pa kita? Conrad even said it, gusto mo rin naman talagang pumunta rito," sambit ko. "Just join your friends. Then I'll join mine. We'll meet again later before we go home."
"Ipakilala mo na kasi ako para hindi na tayo nagtatago," he requested like a child. "Show me off, please."
His words made me freeze. Show him off? To my schoolmates? I can't. I'm not ready. Hindi ko alam pero hindi ko talaga kaya.
"A-After elections... maybe I'll try? Uhm, I-"
"Baby, I was joking," Silas cut me off and chuckled. I tried meeting his gaze and saw a hint of pain for a short second. "It's our last year, we're nearly graduating. I can wait."
"This is your last fight for this month. Ayaw ko nang makita na ganiyan ang mukha mo," I shifted the topic. I felt bad so hindi ko alam kung paano tutugunan ang huli niyang sinabi.
I do not have the comfort and courage to talk about the status of our relationship but I do look forward that one day, I will. Parang habang tumatagal, mas naiinip si Silas, mas nagiging unfair ako. Gaano ko man gustong ituloy na lang na tiisin namin hanggang sa makagraduate, dinadalaw pa rin ako ng aking konsensya.
The next days went by the usual way Silas and I spend it. Apart when outdoors, then together at home and on family occasions. Kung magbabalak man kaming mag-date o kaya naman ay shopping, we go to places outside the city where there is a less chance that someone we know from university will recognize us.
My mother visited the house one evening to join us for dinner since daddy and Shane are still out of town for my sister's school field trip. Thinking that we'd share the meal peacefully, we didn't. Mommy kept on blabbering at me starting from cooking, serving, and washing the dishes as if I'm still a child who doesn't know anything about chores when I do.
And Silas was just there, watching us while trying his best not to laugh at me, especially when my mother said that I won't be a good wife if I kept on being like 'this.' Whatever it is that she is talking about.
"Oh, well, I better get going. Baka dumating na ang aking mag-ama." She took a step closer and kissed both sides of my cheeks. "Take care of yourself, sweetie. And good luck on the elections!"
"She'll win it with no doubt, Madame," Silas stated. "I know she will."
"Why, of course! Magaling kaya sa lahat ang anak ko. Huwag lang talaga malaman ng maga taga-school niyo na hindi siya marunong sa gawaing bahay-"
"Marunong po ako!" I defended and the two of them just bursted out in annoying laughter.
We waited for my mother to enter the van and leave before we went back inside the penthouse to finally get some rest. Silas sat down on the couch with his one foot resting on the low coffee table while I, beside him, browsed for a movie to watch on our television.
"You know, I'm really amused with your mother," Silas remarked. "You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth but she never raised you with it."
"Ayaw niya ng puro ako asa sa maids namin. Tsaka, alam mo naman, laki sa hirap si mommy kaya gusto niya alam ko rin 'yung mga pagbyahe-byahe o kaya mga pagkain no'ng mga nabibili lang d'yan sa tabi-tabi para daw 'relate' din ako sa ibang tao na makakasalamuha ko," I said as matter of fact. "Hanga rin naman ako kay daddy. Hinahayaan niya si mommy na ipagawa sa akin ang mga gusto niya, and he never forced her to change her ways of living even after marriage."
He agreed. "Kung ibang tao mula sa mga angkan natin ang napakasalan ng mommy mo, baka hindi iyon pumayag na palakihin kang ginagawa ang mga gawaing bahay, o kaya kahit anong nakasanayan niya. Baka..." Saglit niya akong tinitigan at mapanloko akong nginitian. "Baka spoiled brat ka ngayon. Tapos hindi mo pa ako maaalagaan, sabay tayong mamamaho sa bahay na 'to."
"Ew, Silas. Manood ka na lang!" Iniripan ko siya at humarap na sa telebisyon. "Tsaka paanong mabubulok naman tayo dito, pinalaki ka rin namang maayos nina Tita Katherine. E 'di ako ang alagaan mo."
"Nah, the wife-to-be should do the work. Boss ako," pagyayabang niyang agad din binawi after I hit his face with the couch pillow.
While the movie was ongoing, a thought came to me out of nowhere which made my head turn unconsciously. Silas even stopped caressing my hair because he noticed my sudden movement.
"Had I been a bratty girl, would you still love me?" I asked.
"You want an honest answer? I won't even consider liking you," diretsahan niyang sagot. Ngumuso ako at umasang babawiin niya iyon pero hindi. He just leaned forward to kiss my pouted lips, probably trying to make me feel better. "One of the few reasons why I didn't turn down this fixed arrangement was because I'm given a girl that is really a wife material. I knew you weren't going to be a burden to me, even if we appear to be not in love."
Napaawang ang labi ko sa narinig. "Turn down? You mean, you had the choice to not be engaged with me? How come you never told me that?"
"If I did, we wouldn't even be together now. I wasn't your type so I assumed that if I mentioned that I could decline and break from our parents' agreement, pipilitin mo akong gawin iyon," he replied. "Sorry to tell you but I am selfish, Seraphina. Kahit na ayaw mo sa akin, at hindi rin naman kita gusto no'n, hindi kita pakakawalan. It's a fucking pleasure to have you as a wife."
"Because everything is going to be convenient for you?" I added.
"Yes." He reached for my hand and squeezed it lightly. "But now..." He brought my hand to his lips. The warmth from his mouth and his breath sent a tingling feeling and made me want to melt from it. His pale blue eyes framed with thick lashes stared at me with desire. "It's no longer the convenience that made me want to marry you."
"Then what?" I delivered that question with a voice that seemed like it couldn't make a clear sound. It was almost a whisper. And I had a feeling of thirst while looking at his eyes. Nakakapanghina.
"I love you," he worded. "Is that a valid reason, angel?"
"Only if you take my clothes off and prove it to me." Damn you, Silas Ferreira! Alam na alam mo kung paano ako kunin.
***
"Please give a round of applause for our newly elected College of Liberal Arts Fourth Year Representative, Dior Alunsina N. Maderazo!"
Umalingawngaw ang sigaw ng aming klase nang tawagin si Dalia bilang bagong miyembro ng student government. Hindi ko rin naman pinalagpas ang pagkakataon at kinuhanan ko siya ng video habang naglalakad patungo sa unahan. Her mom would surely be proud of her.
The auditorium was filled with endless cheering as the new board members were being called one by one. But no matter how noisy the place is, the ringing in my ear gets worse and worse as the announcement of names gets nearer to the highest position. Para bang wala na akong naririnig dahil sa kaba at sobra-sobrang pagdadasal ko sa aking isip na sana matawag din ang pangalan ko.
"The position of the College of Liberal Arts Secretary is... once again claimed by Seraphina Elegancée J. Restrivera! Let's give a hand, everyone!"
"My gosh, Sea, tumayo ka na!" One of my blockmates from behind yelled and pushed me lightly to get out of my chair.
Halos hindi pa ako nakakarecover pero dahil sa pagtulak niya, napangiti na lang ako at pumunta na rin sa unahan. Dalia and I shared eye contact and we knew how happy we are for each other. Our excitement just went bigger when Khiel won as president which is the highest position in the department.
To further acknowledge the newly elected president's success, he was told to deliver a speech, and while he's doing so, the rest of us just remained standing in front listening to him and waiting to be instructed to go back to our seats.
I felt my phone vibrate inside my pocket. Instead of pulling it out, I checked the notification on my smartwatch and pretended like I was just looking at the time. My smile went wider after seeing that it's a message.
From: Silas
I knew you'd win. Congratulations, love.
My eyes wandered around to look for the International Studies students while Khiel continues with his speech about the goals he aims to achieve for the university this academic year. My search did not disappoint me because I immediately saw one of Silas' female blockmates who had ash gray-colored hair. Siya lang ang tanging may ganoong buhok sa department namin kaya nakabisado ko na at tuwing makikita ko ay alam ko nang taga-International Studies siya. I looked for Silas in that area however, I find it hard to recognize those faces from a further distance. I received another text message.
From: Silas
Baka mabali ang leeg mo.
Oh, his eyes were on me. He saw me looking for him. Napatigil na tuloy ako sa paghahanap upang hindi naman niya isiping uhaw na uhaw akong makita siya. Lolokohin na naman niya ako pagdating sa penthouse kapag nagkataon.
"So this is what I get from dating a student leader, huh," Silas playfully said after I handed him two slices of shrimp and cream cheese pizza that was given after the revelation of election results. I'm not a fan of cream cheese that's why I decided on giving him my supposed lunch.
He then placed a small bag containing a pork chop rice meal in front of me which is obviously his lunch bought from the cafeteria. Iyon na ang kakainin ko ngayon. Kami lamang dalawa ang magkasama sa rooftop ng isa sa mga buildings ng university.
"Magpapakain nga pala si Khiel mamayang gabi sa bahay nila, para sa aming mga taga-student govt lang," banggit ko habang binubuksan ang rice meal. "So... I might come home a bit late."
"No problem." Silas took a bite from the pizza I gave him. "Mag-isa kang uuwi? I could just fetch you at the milktea shop near his house."
"Halos tapat na iyon ng bahay nila." Inalala ko ang lugar kung saan nakatira si Khiel. Alam na rin ni Silas 'yon dahil itinuro ko sa kanya noong madaanan namin iyon nang ilang beses tuwing pupunta sa bar. "They might see us."
He smirked. "Let's see if they will. I'll fetch you later."
I looked at him unbelievably and before I could even protest, he left me to attend his upcoming class. I sighed. I don't even have a choice but to just hope that whatever his plan is, it won't fail.
And it really didn't.
After the dinner at Khiel's place, I walked out of his house together with my co-org members and saw a chrome red Audi Q8 parked in front of the nearby milktea shop. Silas, then, sent me a message telling me to think of my own excuse to get into the car.
"H-Hey... I'll get going na. Nariyan na driver ko, e," pamamaalam ko sa mga kasamahan ko sa org habang nakaturo sa pulang kotse.
Lagi namang ganoon ang excuse ko tuwing si Silas ang susundo sa akin. Kesyo hinihintay na ako ng driver.
"Yaman talaga ng pamilya mo, Sea, nakaka-inspire tuloy-"
"Magtrabaho?"
"Tumaya sa lotto." All of us laughed at the joke Keia, the Third Year Representative, made.
We bid our goodbyes and I crossed the street to get on the side where Silas' car is parked. Sa backseat ako pumasok para naman kapani-paniwala ang pagrarason kong driver ang sumundo sa akin.
I stared back at Silas who was watching me from the rear view mirror. "You really got your car covered in vinyl wrap just to make it appear unfamiliar? Para lang sunduin mo ako?" I asked in an amused tone.
"Anything for my angel." He winked at me and drove us home.
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