Choosing her own happiness or her brother's?
I thought about it seriously for a long moment and finally came to a conclusion.
"Adaira...there is only one thing you can do when you have a problem you don't know how to solve."
"And...and that is?"
Giving her a serious look full of wisdom, I said: "Get your friends to solve it for you."
She stared at me expressionlessly for a long moment before her eyebrows started twitching. "Is this the famous Ambrose work ethic you learned at my brother's office?"
"Naturally!" I beamed. "After all, if you get your friends to do something for free, you don't have to pay anyone else to do it!"
"You know...I'm starting to think you and my brother were really meant for each other."
Marching over, I patted her shoulder. "You only realise that now? Who do you think approved your domestic expenses last year?"
Her eyes went wide. "You mean last year, when I wanted that brocade dress and got that letter back from my brother that said 'unnecessary expenses'..."
I grinned. "Yep. That was me."
Her eyebrows twitched again. "Lilly, dear...you're taking a rather strange approach to cheering a girl up."
"Indeed. It's working, though, isn't it?"
In response to that, her face softened for the first time since I'd entered the room. "Yes. Yes, it is."
"There you go." I patted her shoulder. "Should I cut your pocket money some more to improve your mood?"
"Don't you dare! Can't you see I'm suffering from a moral dilemma here? You...you beastly, unfeeling—!"
"—best friend ever?"
That made her mouth twitch just a little. When more tears appeared in the corners of her eyes, I didn't think they were all unhappy ones. When she noticed me looking, she immediately turned her head away. "Don't look at me like that! It's just hay fever."
"Hay fever. Of course it is." Without hesitation, I wrapped her in my arms and hugged her close. "Come here. I know the best cure for hay fever. It's called 'friendly hug'. Ever heard of it?"
"You...you..."
Her words trailed off and, for a while, that was the last thing I heard from her. During the next few minutes, I simply stood there, my arms tightly wrapped around Adaire while she indulged in her fit of hay fever. And if my dress got a little wet in the process, that was probably because it had suddenly started raining indoors.
When the "rain" finally subsided, I reached out and patted my sister-in-law's head. "There, there. Better now?"
"Y–sniff, yes." Pulling out a handkerchief, she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "Now that my hay fever seems to have passed—" She stopped and threw me a glare. "Stop snickering!"
"S-s-sorryhihihi...ehem." I cleared my throat, doing my best to look serious. "Hay fever. Right you are."
"As I was saying," Adaira stated and pinned me to the spot with a glare worthy of her brother, "if your suggestion is to ask other people for help, my question is: who? It's not like we have a whole battalion of helpers at our disposal."
I smirked. "That's where you're wrong."
In a blink, I had the girl by the hand and was towing her behind me like a particularly feminine barge.
"Oy! Where do you think you're going, Lilly?"
"Wait and see."
It didn't take me long to reach my destination. Adaira had been right, in a way. Apart from Mr Ambrose's bodyguards, there were no men here I could trust, and they were needed for their job. I didn't have a battalion. But I did have something better.
Swerving around a corner, I came to a halt in front of a certain door. I didn't bother with silly, new-fangled things like manners. Instead, I just grabbed the knob and pushed open the door.
"Hey, girls! I know I'm sorry to suddenly burst in on you like this, but—"
I stopped in mid-sentence.
I stared.
I blinked.
I stared again.
Nope. Not a hallucination. Still there.
Right there in front of me were Amy, Ella, Eve, Flora and Patsy, sitting around a table on various items of furniture. But that was not what had caused me to freeze into a wide-eyed ice statue. No, the reason for that was the activity my friends were currently indulging in.
They were knitting.
My friends, the unofficial first feminist club of Britain, were sitting there, knitting. Knitting adorable little baby clothes in pastel colours.
"Oh. Ehem." Patsy cleared her throat. "I, err...it's good that you're here, Lilly. I was just showing the other girls what not to do in order to be a feminist. Um...yes, that's what we were doing. It's definitely important to avoid doing such horrifically housewifely things if we want to break the stereotypes women are subjected to in today's society."
I very carefully did not smile, and even more carefully did not look at the bright pink bobble hat she was in the middle of making.
"I see." With a seriously serious look on my face, I inclined my head. "Good work. The world needs more feminists like you." And Berty more aunts. "Do you mind if I interrupt your instruction for a bit? I have something to discuss with the others."
"Oh, um...no, not at all." She waved her hand and only in retrospect seemed to notice that it was still holding the half-finished bobble hat. "Um...by all means, you go and chat. I'll just, well, continue practising what not to do as a feminist."
"Thank you." Still with a very sombre expression on my face, I patted her shoulder. "Don't you worry. They'll be back in a jiffy so you can finish your, ehem...'lesson'."
Amy, Ella, Eve and Flora put aside their work and rose to their feet. The four of them filed out of the room and, having closed the doors behind them, threw me curious glances.
"What's the matter, Lilly?" Ella pouted. "If it's not important, could you come back later? I'm only halfway finished with this adorable scarf for little Bert—"
That was when Eve elbowed her in the ribs.
"—ehem! I mean, I am only half finished with my lesson on what not to do as a properly feminist young lady!"
The corners of my mouth twitched, and I threw Eve and Flora a glance. "I see you've already managed to indoctrinate my little sister."
Eve gave me a demure little curtsy. "We do what we can."
"I don't doubt it. Now...let's get going, shall we?" With one hand, I gestured for them to follow me. "I really do have something to talk about."
"Really?" Curious, Eve cocked her head. "What?"
"Not here. Let's go."
Not wasting any more time, I led them into another room securely out of anyone's hearing distance. Once there, I firmly closed the door behind us. I wasn't about to discuss this particular subject out in the hallway.
"Now can ye tell us what's up?" Amy demanded, eyes slightly narrowed. "Ye didn't drag us out of there for some small talk over tea and biscuits, did ye?"
Smart. Then again...people probably didn't survive long in her profession if they weren't.
Giving her a nod, I sat down on a nearby chaise longue and gestured for them to follow suit.
"You're right. I didn't ask you here for a casual talk. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth."
I took a deep breath—and then started to explain everything in detail. With every word I spoke, their faces darkened, until finally Amy couldn't bear it any longer, and an explosion of cockney expletives left her mouth.
"Couldn't have said it better myself," I agreed grimly. "If that skanky tosser gets his way, either my husband loses everything he owns, or my sister-in-law loses her freedom. Either way, he wins and I lose." I glanced around at my female co-conspirators, the friends and family who had stood by me since the very beginning. "Are we going to allow that?"
"Hell no!" Cracking her knuckles, Amy smiled in a way that would make any man want to protectively cup his groin. "Most definitely not."
"She's right." Eve nodded sternly. "Let him come. We'll be ready."
The others also nodded in agreement, expressing their eagerness to throw the marquess into a meat grinder and trample on his remains.
"As much as I appreciate your support," I told them drily, "that's not exactly what I called you here for. If you go and, ehem...'educate' the marquess, it won't really change anything. No, what I need from you is something entirely different." My gaze swept over my assembled friends and family, staying on each girl for a second or two. "That old bugger thinks he has us backed into a corner. Well, I say: let's prove him wrong! We're women, ladies! We can outsmart that old chauvinist bastard any day! I am going to find a way out of this dilemma for both Adaira and my husband if it is the last thing I do! Will you help me?"
Eve leaned over and gently whacked the back of my head. "Do you even need to ask?"
"Technically yes, or else it would be forced labour."
"Well, consider me conscripted."
Flora nodded, a determined look on her normally so shy face. "Me too. I'll go find Patsy as well, and we—"
"No!" Moving like a flash, I grabbed hold of her arm to hold her in place. "Don't you dare!"
Everyone stared at me.
"Um...what? Why not?"
"Are you crazy or just lacking brain cells?" I gave them all a meaningful look. "Why the heck did you think I specifically brought you here without her?"
"Err...why?"
"Let me answer your question with a question: what do you think will happen when Patsy finds out that a powerful egomaniac macho man is trying to use his daughter's future as blackmail material?"
"Um..."
We all fell silent for a minute while we pictured various scenes involving steel-reinforced parasols and plentiful amounts of gore.
"You're right." Flora nodded hurriedly. "We'd best leave her alone. Anyway, she's still busy knitting bobble hats."
"Right. That's much more important."
The others quickly joined in, agreeing that knitting bobble hats was of much greater significance than securing Adaira's future and happiness.
"Indeed." Nodding wisely, I swept my gaze across the assembled women once again. "I'm glad that I have such smart friends. Now, shall we get down to the nitty-gritty? What are we going to do, and who will take up which tasks? Ideas, ladies!"
"Hm..." Amy stroked her chin—then suddenly smirked. "I'm gonna go 'ave a little chat with all those little lackeys runnin' around this place. Servants 'ear all kinds of stuff they ain't supposed to. Maybe one of dem knows some juicy secrets we can use ta turn the tables on that blackmailing son of a bitch."
"I'm going to check the library," Ella stated with the determination of a girl who had read over five hundred romance novels since childhood. "Maybe I can find a family tree? There must be someone else who can inherit the title."
"I, um..." Flora tugged at her dress. "I guess I could...write to my mother? She knows a lot of people in these noble circles. Maybe they'll have something to suggest?"
"And I," Eve declared, "will go to the local blacksmith and have a few iron clubs prepared."
Everyone turned to stare at her.
"What?" She raised an eyebrow. "If all else fails, we can still tell Patsy and leave it to her."
"Ehem..." I cleared my throat and tried to look solemn, all the while doing my best to ignore the wolfish grins on the girls' faces. "Let's keep that as a last resort, shall we? For now, the other suggestions shall suffice. So, let's get going, everyone! We've got a helpless damsel to save! In a totally feministic way, of course!"
Everyone burst into cheers. Well...almost everyone. Looking at Adaira, I could see her head was lowered, and there was a bit of moisture sparkling at the corners of her eyes. And this time I could be sure it was not due to sadness or anger.
"You...you girls are just...just..."
"Spiffing?" I suggested, striking a pose. "Stupendous? Sensational? Stunningly beautiful?"
Her eyes narrowed. "...rather bigheaded."
"Naturally." I patted her shoulder. "How could I be as smart as I am without a big enough head for my enormous brain?"
"Ye heard 'er." Amy jabbed her thumb at me with a self-satisfied nod. "Enormous brains all around 'ere."
"Yes." Adaira's mouth twitched. "I can tell that from your superb elocution."
We exchanged looks—then all suddenly burst into laughter. Maybe it was more because we felt like we needed it than her words really being that funny, but it ended up being quite cathartic. By the time our laughter finally subsided, we were all huddled together in a group hug, with Adaira in the middle.
"No, really," she spoke, her voice soft. "Thank you, everyone. Truly. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Whack your father over the head with an iron club and get arrested for homicide?" Eve suggested brightly.
"Aye." Amy nodded with the wisdom brought by experience. "It's far better ta 'ave a few accomplices. Easier ta 'ide the body and get an alibi."
"You...!" Adaira sent the two an icy stare that would have made her brother proud. "Don't you have any shame?"
Amy grinned. "Sold it ta one of my johns."
"You...!"
"Aww, don't get all riled up," I cut in, patting my dear sister-in-law on the shoulder, "Look at it like this: you're not crying anymore, are you?"
She blinked. "Huh. You're right."
I offered my arm to her. "Spiffing! Now that that's taken care of...shall we go? We've got people to interrogate, documents to study, and a blackmailing bastard to thwart."
Grinning, Adaira linked her arm with mine. "I'd love to!"
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My dear Readers,
Today is the first time that I have experienced temperatures of 7 degrees Celsius (44 degrees Fahrenheit) in the middle of August. Weirdest weather ever. Not that I am complaining, though. I can finally write again without getting migraines from the heat. Yay! :-)
Yours Truly
Sir Rob