"How can you be so sure?" I asked. Without her, life had felt pointless and I didn't have the motivation to keep going some days. Darius didn't break his gaze from the path ahead, but his words grabbed my shoulders and held me steady.
"If we gave up whenever life felt hard or not worth living, there wouldn't be any reward in the happy moments. Yes, it may be hard right now, but if you continue on, it will be the greatest feeling you could imagine. When you find the reason to keep living, you won't be able to remember how you felt before." Although I thought some of what he said was strange, it made sense in my heart. He seemed to speak from experience and that comforted me.
"What is your reason?" This broke Darius's gaze.
"Excuse me?"
"What is your reason for living? You seem to be so knowledgeable on the subject so I'm curious."
"Her name was Kaya." Darius adverted his gaze to the sky and slipped a small yet said smile.
"Was?"
"When you live as long as I have, sometimes you have to watch the people you love leave before you."
"I'm sorry."
"I consider myself lucky. All I have to do is live a life that I think she would want for me and be proud of so I can tell her about it one day."
"I think that's a nice way to look at it." Darius turned to look at me.
"It's what you should be doing. Make her proud. Live a life that she would be begging to hear about." I took in a deep breath before exhaling. Everyone told me I needed to move on, but they never told me why. Darius somehow made it make sense. I stayed silent even while he seemed to be waiting for an answer. He looked away before speaking again.
"What was her name?" I stopped. Ever since she had died, I hadn't dared to utter her name. It felt like a curse. Constantly surrounding my every thought. I was afraid that if I spoke it, I would meet the same fate. It was an impossible possibility but I couldn't help the way I thought.
"Well?" Darius had stopped now too. We were close enough to the town that I could see the stone tower of the church.
"Well... I think it's been a long day and we're almost there. If we hurry, I can get you to where you need to go before sunset."
"Avoiding pain will only make it hurt more." Darius stared into my eyes. They carried sadness and understanding. I wondered how many tears had stained his long beard.
"Let's just keep moving." He looked disappointed but he nodded and continued forwards anyways. Our conversation was kept brief afterward but it was better than letting the curse consume me.
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"Well here we are." I opened the door to the carpenter shop. Her father was standing in the corner of the workshop, possibly working on some decorations for a client. As soon as Darius saw him, something in his eyes changed. I couldn't tell if it was happiness, or excitement, or something else.
"Sorry, I'll be with you in one moment. Let me just finish this last cut." Her father was focused on his work and hadn't seen Darius yet. Darius turned around to face me.
"Aria, why don't you go home now. It's been a long day and I'm sure you need your rest. Thank you for your help and your willingness. I enjoyed your company." Darius turned away again.
"Wait, that's it? You haven't even told me why you're here or..." Darius spoke before I could finish my sentence.
"I will find you in the morning. For now, just prepare yourself and let me handle some business."
"A-alright." I turned to grab the door handle. Neither man made any move to acknowledge my presence. I quickly shut the door behind me and ran home.
Damian was waiting outside.
"Aria! Hey!" I brushed past him and quickly threw my hand onto the doorframe before rushing inside. My mother was sitting at her desk, adding the finishing details onto some candles. Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself sitting by her feet, watching as she carved.
"What is this batch for?" She didn't break her concentration to respond to me. Her hands moved almost at the same speed as her lips.
"They're for a special ceremony. Rumor has it that there is one with the Ability in our town. The Order sent one of their members to perform the necessary inspections and possibly collect the Blessed for training."
"Wait wait wait. Who is it?!" My mother chuckled.
"If I knew, I would be too excited to work. Speaking of excited, you should calm down before heading to bed."
"Mommmmm."
"Don't "Mommmm" me, you need to get some sleep. Let's just say it'll be a fun day tomorrow." My mother winked at me before waving me off towards my room. If my Mother was speaking the truth, I had a guess that it meant the ceremony was tomorrow. I couldn't imagine anyone in our quiet town discovering that they were a Blessed. Surely they would've mentioned being able to see and communicate with something nonhuman. I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut about it. As I nestled into my warm bed, I dreamed that I had the abilities. It would've explained the voices I heard in the forest. I laughed at myself before falling into a deep sleep.
"Aria! Someone is here to see you!" My father's voice echoed throughout the house. His yelled jolted through my veins and I shot out of bed.
"Coming!" I grabbed one of my blankets and wrapped it around myself before nearly falling down the stairs. I caught myself on the last step and attempted to regain my balance.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm here." I looked out the door to try and see who it was. It was Darius. He smiled when he saw me.
"Just rolled out of bed did we?" I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks.
"Maybe..."
"Well, that doesn't matter now. There is something I need to discuss with you. When you are ready, I need you to meet me back at the church. I suggest you go get ready." Darius left without any goodbyes. My father closed the door.
"Goose, what are you waiting for. Go!" My father laughed at my struggle up the stairs. I threw open my wooden dresser and frantically searched for my robes. I only wore them on special occasions and this certainly felt like one. Eventually my eye caught the black fabric and I hurriedly threw it onto my bed. I need a nice blouse to wear underneath. As I scrambled through my drawers, I vowed to be neater and more organized in the future. I decided on a white blouse and some brown slacks to complete the outfit. I buckled the robe shut before neatly tucking my hair into its hood. I sprinted back down the hallway and stairs and almost made it through the front door before I felt a tugging on my back. My mother and father stood behind me.
"We love you so much." My mother spoke while my father just nodded.
"I know... why are you acting so weird?"
"We just won't always get the chance to say it."
"Ok while I'm gone, you guys should definitely stop acting so weird. I'll be back soon!" I threw open the door and accidentally slammed it shut in my eagerness. I hopped past my obstacles as I made my way to the church. When it wasn't being used for religious purposes, it was typically used as a meeting place for the town's various organizations. I knew some kids from school used it as a place to hide from parents. I hopped that I hadn't taken too long and left Darius deciding to just leave. I held my breath as I entered the church. The sun painted the open room with the colors of the surrounding stained glass. It was definitely a beautiful place and I understood why some spent most of their time there. Darius caught my attention from across the room. He was waiting in the first row and cushioned benches. He seemed to be staring up at some of the art pieces. I slowly walked over to him before sitting down next to him. We sat in silence for a few moments before I decided to speak.
"So... why did you need to talk to me?" Darius didn't respond. I waited a few seconds before I sighed and let my back slide a little down the back of the bench. Darius chose to ignore me. I tried to focus my attention to where his seemed to be, but I couldn't tell exactly what he was looking at.
"Do you believe in an afterlife?" The question caught be by surprise. I pondered before answering honestly.
"I mean, I'd like to believe there is." This seemed to satisfy Darius.
"Do you think you've been told the truth?" This question was even more of a surprise.
"The truth about what?" Darius continued to stare at the art.
"The truth about Zaida's murder."