Teach me.
How to be your friend.
God, what am I getting myself into? I think to myself as I stare forward. It's been two days, and I still can't stop thinking about his words.
Friends.
Could I really be friends with him? I groan in annoyance and drop my head in my hands. I can't even concentrate on the words that are coming out of Mrs. Cruz's mouth.
I look over to the empty spot next to me, wondering where the hell River even was. I bite the inside of my cheek as I look down at my phone and watch the three dots come up in our text messages before disappearing.
"Screw it." I say to myself, Grab my bag and leave the classroom. I didn't miss Mrs. Cruz yelling at me as I did so.
I texted June, asking her if I could borrow her car for just an hour. I wait at her locker. It only took her a few minutes.
I watch as June makes her way down the hall towards me. Her short red hair was put up into the best ponytail that it could be.
She wore bootcut jeans and one of her favorite loose jackets. "Are you okay?" She asked worriedly.
This is one reason why I love her. I give her a small smile as I nod my head.
Some sort of feeling bubbled in my gut the longer I stood here in the hallway. June let out a soft sigh as she handed me her car keys. Before I could grab them, she pulled her hand back.
"You'd tell me if you were selling drugs without me, right?" I let out a small laugh as I snatched the keys from her.
"Sorry, I'm running late. My customer is waiting." I joke as I start walking down the hall. I could hear my best friend laugh as I got farther away. I make my way out of the school and into the parking lot.
I bite the inside of my cheek when I pull out of the school parking lot. My stomach was twisting at the thought of mom or dad finding out that I was in June's car on the way to Rivers and not in Mrs. Cruz's class room.
I mean, mom wouldn't get that mad, but dad would. I could already see it now. I'm sitting at the kitchen table as dad tells me I shouldn't be skipping school. It's not like I would get grounded because I have a reason, somewhat.
Before I knew it, I was pulling into the driveway of Rivers' house. His pickup truck was parked in the driveway.
I sat in the car, unmoved. Maybe I should just leave. I think to myself. I look down at my hands and notice that I'm scratching the top of my nail out of nervousness.
Finally, I push open the car door, stepping out. My pace is slow as I make my way to the front of River's house.
As I lift my hand to knock, the door swings open. My eyes shot up to Rivers' dark eyes. My eyes widened at the dark circle around his right eye.
I couldn't care less about the fact that he looked surprised that I was here at his front door and not at school.
My eyes darted around his face, looking for any other injuries. I noticed a small cut on his bottom lip.
"What did you do?"
"Why are you here?"
We both spoke at the same time. I ignore his question and continue asking all my questions. "What happened?"
"When?"
"Are you okay? Does it still hurt?" I asked so quickly that I don't even think he heard the words that were coming out of my mouth.
The cut on his lip was red and irritated-looking. A purple and red bruise littered his cheekbone and around his eye.
The nervousness from earlier was gone and now replaced with worry.
I impulsively lifted my hand towards his face. River quickly grabbed my wrist before my hand could touch his face.
I hissed at how tight his grip was. "I'm sorry." He whispered and released my hand.
Shaking my head, I didn't care; all I cared about was what the hell happened.
"What happened, Riv?" He took a step away from me before returning his gaze and replied, "Just a dude from another school." He try's to brush me off.
I could tell he was lying, but I didn't want to question him about it. He'd tell me if he wanted to. I can't force him to tell me something he doesn't want to tell me.
I stared at him for a moment, wondering what actually happened. "Ella, I'm fine; you shouldn't worry so much." He tells me.
I gave him a slight glare. "I worry because I'm your friend, remember." I watch as his jaw clenches for a moment.
"Right." He says as he shut the door and pushed past me. I stumbled back a bit. God, him and his mood swings—I swear they will be the death of me.
I turn and follow him to his truck. "Where are you going?" I inquire but receive no response.
I come here to check on him, and this is how he acts. I scoff as I watch him climb into his truck and pull out of the driveway, leaving me standing there.
As I walked back to the car and got in, I let out a loud groan and started the engine and head back in the direction of the school. I can't believe him. In annoyance, I shake my head.
What is his problem?
Did I say something wrong?
No. I couldn't have done it. I didn't even really say anything. Why does he always have to be confusing?
I let out a breath. I hate that I never understand him. I hate that I can never understand myself when he's around.
When he is around, my brain shuts down, and I'm unable to get it to function until he's gone.
I hate this.
I hate him, and I hate myself.
Why does he have to be so confusing and so fucking irritating?
I wish I could understand him. It's like once I get a bit close, he pulls away or does some dumb shit to push me away.
I shouldn't have even come. God, I'm such an idiot. What was I even thinking? I let out a huff as I pulled into the school parking lot.
"Fuck." I whisper to myself when I see my very angry brother talking to a very angry June. Did I forget to mention? They kind of hate each other.
***
I walk into my room as I dry my wet hair. My thoughts were still on what River had said.
Teach me.
Teach me how to be your friend.
I let out an annoyed groan. Why can't I stop thinking about him? It's like he stained my thoughts.
He's always there in the back of my mind, hiding in some dark corner.
I grab one of my baggy shirts from my dresser and slip it over my head. As soon as the shirt falls to my thighs, my door swings open and closes just as fast as it opened.
I spin around, stumbling just a bit. My eyes shoot open at the sight of River. "What the hell are you doing here?" I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping he didn't notice that I wasn't wearing a bra.
His gaze dropped to my thighs for a moment before they met my eyes once again. He looked stuck for a moment. Like he forgot what he had rushed into my room for.
"River I don't have all goddamn night so spit the words out." I snap.
"What's your problem?" His expression changed from frozen to taken aback. "What do you want?" I ignore his question and lean back on my desk.
The wood digging into the back of my thigh but I ignored it. "I wanted to say hello to a friend." He try's to give me a smile.
I scoff at his words. "What?" He grumbled, looking almost offended. I watch as River takes a step closer. I hate when he is this close. It makes my brain fog up.
I take a small breath before speaking. "You don't get to decide when I'm your friend and when I'm not." His thick brows furrow just a bit.
"You are my friend, Ella." Yeah, only when it's convenient to you. I wanted to say but decided not to do it.
"You say friend, but you go and ignore me." I say. River lets out a deep breath, turning his face away from my view.
He only does that when he is trying to think or is upset about something. "Friends don't do what you did earlier." I point out.
River looks down at his feet for a second before his dark brown eyes look up at me. "It wasn't like that, El." River says softly.
I hummed, not truly sure if I should believe him. The last time I did it, it ended with me crying.
His eyes searched mine for a moment too long. My heart begins to beat a bit faster when he steps closer.
I tried my hardest not to look away from his gaze, but everything became a little too much. "Don't get all shy now, Green." He says with a smirk, knowing I hate that nickname.
"I'm not shy." I argue back, knowing damn well that I'm lying right now.
"If you weren't, you would be looking at me." My eyes snap to River. "See, I am not—" River cuts me off by saying. "I'm sorry about earlier." I stared up at him in shock.
Am I hearing this right?
Did River Sinn just apologize? I bite the inside of my cheek and look down at the floor. "When did you start apologizing?" I joke.
"I'll apologize every time when it comes to you." I gape at him. My stomach flutters a bit.
And when I go to ask him what he meant by what he said, I hear Noah yell. "River, hurry your ass up; we've got to go!" Noah yelled from downstairs.
River mumbled something under his breath before turning and making his way to the door, but he stopped when he touched the handle.
"Goodnight Ella." He said it softly as he walked out of my room. Before the door could fully close, I shouted. "Don't let my brother get shitfaced."
I could hear the faint sound of his chuckles as he walk farther down the hallway.
I wonder where they are even going. I threw myself onto my bed, letting my mind take over.
All kinds of thoughts fill my empty mind. What were they going to do? Was he lying about what he said?
And slowly, my thoughts began to shift. The darkest of my thoughts slowly creeped in.
I felt as if I was prey, and my own mind was the predator. My quiet room didn't feel so quiet anymore.
My thoughts were so loud, it was as if I were playing music.
Thoughts?
I wasn't really sure about this chapter but I hope y'all like it.
River is a very complicated character...
How was everyone's summer?
Hope everyone is doing well <3