𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙏𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙚
𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙑𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝘼𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨
♕ 𝗜𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗮 𝗜𝗻𝗶 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱 ♕
I walked down the hallway with my purse on my shoulder. I typed on my phone not even paying attention to Bria and Tommi as they talked about Sleezy and Renni dumb ass argument from the other day. They got into it about something so dumb and now they not talking.
"I just feel like they need to talk it out. It's not that serious." Bria said shaking her head, I looked at Tommi who was rolling her eyes as she scrolled on her phone. Her hair was out of the bob and now was in boho conrow braids. They were so fye.
I was going to install mine later on next week.
"They both were wrong. Sleezy should've never been saying that shit about his dad regardless of if Renni was moving on some sneaky shit. They brothers. They shouldn't be onnat with each other."
It was really just a misunderstanding and instead of giving my thoughts, I listened to them discuss it. I didn't care about it because he had nothing to do with me or my man. I knew that they would be back cool eventually.
I ran my hand through my curls and flipped my hair over my shoulder. I checked the time and noticed that I was almost late for class. "I gotta go. Mr.Washington be on ass when I'm running late to class." I said before walking off towards the second floor.
I'm so glad this my last year because after this it was college or hair. I didn't know what my next steps were. It was embarrassing to admit because I felt like I was always under my man instead of focusing my future.
Dee knew what was next for him. And he wasn't gonna let nobody stop him from making it to the league. No matter the circumstances, he was going to get it done.
Me on the other hand, was still trying to figure out if college was even something I wanted. I wanted to go to hair school and I knew that I didn't even need school or a whole HBCU experience to become a hairstylist. But I wanted to experience it.
I sat down in class and looked around at my class. I went to the most ghetto school in Memphis I feel like. It's like these bitches just love looking crusty and musty. They kept mugging me and giving me rude looks as I walked to my seat.
A lot of girls don't like me. I don't know why because I am a very quiet and private person. Especially, when it came to who I'm around and my relationship. I wasn't the type to talk about these girls or even try to mess with anybody they mess with. They just didn't like me.
I sat down at my desk and put my purse on the desk beside me. I pulled my phone out and noticed I had messages from my Mom. She was supposed to be coming back from Texas today from seeing her family.
Even though Ive been living with my mom since she found me in the dumpster. I've never met her family. They all lived in Texas and I've never been to visit. We've talked sometimes on the phone through my mom but we've never met. I always only had my mom.
It was weird because my mom would go to Texas to visit her family but never took me with her. I never asked to go because I figured if she wanted me to come she would get me a ticket. She would invite me.
Sometimes, it did hurt me. Everyone around had a family and all I had was my mom. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing because all my friends had big families. Bria was a foster child and even her foster family had a large family.
If I wasn't with my friends then I was alone. It was weird because I looked at my friends as my family because I don't have one. I'm always with them and their families. Which is why I felt some type of way about the situation with Tinki.
She tried to put me out and was flaunting her family in my face. Even though, none of them liked her it was still hurtful because it's like bitch what you tryna say? Yes I know this is your man house and that you basically lived here and y'all was a "family" but that has nothing to do with the ass whooping I gave her.
When I think about family, all I see is my friends. I wish my mother had introduced me to her family or atleast some friends. Sometimes I felt like she was ashamed of me and didn't want anyone to meet me in person. She probably tell people that I'm a patient or something who knows.
My phone started singing breaking me from my thoughts. I put my pencil down and grabbed my phone. I had messages from Dee and My mom.
boy💗
you ok?
yeah, wassup?
i can't come get you today
i got a early practice
renni gonna come instead
it's fine
i'll ride w bria or tommi
don't be mad at me
that's why we need to go to the same school
😂we don't
we spend enough time together
Mom
i just landed
i'm gonna start dinner when i get home
can't wait to see you!😢
I just rolled my eyes at her message and went back to my work. She barely even talked to me while she was gone so I didn't know what she meant by that. I tried not to think about my life because if I did think about it, I'll be depressed and sad all the time.
I was just over feeling like I had no family. I needed to find my biological mom. I needed to find my family.
——————
"SHOW ME HOW YOU FUCK HER BABY DAD!" Bria yelled as she smacked Tommi on the ass. It was a school night but we didn't care. We were drunk and outside in the projects. I sat on the stairs and watched as they danced. I was having a sad day.
I looked down at my phone and noticed Dee was texting me again. I was so drunk I couldn't even answer the message because I had no control over nothing. I was leaning my head against the railing and read the messages.
boy💗
you on some weirdo shit
i been tryna reach you for 4 hours wtf
then you ain't nowhere but dirty ass parkway
you disrespectful eshit
i'm omw down there rn
if you with a nigga you better duck
clown
I busted out laughing as I read the messages. I just wanted to chill and be drunk. I wasn't having a good day mentally and I couldn't be there with Dee. He had shit going on and I didn't want him focusing on what was going on with me.
"Bitch why are you crying?" Tommi asked with a frown as I wiped my eyes. Tommi grabbed my face with a deep frown and wiped my eyes as I sniffed. "Stop crying! Tell me what's wrong."
"Stop yelling at her. You're making it worseeee!" Bria slurred as she came over to her. She wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her arms as she leaned her head on her shoulder. "Tell us what's wrong!"
"I don't have a family." I sapped as I pouted.
"What?!" Bria yelled before burping. "Sorry."
"You a dirty bitch," Tommi said looking at her in disgust causing me to laugh. "You didn't even excuse that nasty ass shit or nothing. You just out here."
"Watch out bitch," Bria replied waving her off.
"But Nana," She dragged looking over at me. We your family. We sisters!" Tommi said nudging me as I pouted and sniffed. I knew that these were my sisters but when I go home, I don't have nobody.
"Don't cry Nana," Bria said in her ear. "We got you!"
"I know." I whined as I wiped my eyes.
"Just because we got a family don't mean we got a good one. We still have struggles. We still got it hard." Tommi said as Bria nodded in agreement.
"Hard is a understatement." She mumbled. "As long as we got each other we will be good. Don't worry about all the shit that you don't have. Think about all the shit you do have and all the people that love you."
I didn't say anything. I just looked at my shoes and wiped my eyes. I was embarrassed because I was drunk crying. I never cried while drunk ever.
"Girl your man coming. Wipe your eyes before he start swinging on us." Tommi said causing me to laugh a little. I wiped the tears from my face. I watched as Dee approached us with a deep frown on his face. He had on some grey shorts with a white t-shirt. He wore low top cement grey 11s to go with his whole outfit.
I wonder where he coming from all dressed up.
He dapped up the guys that were around before hugging Tommi and Bria. I just watched him in silence as he stared at me. He tilted his head at me before nodding me over. I didn't move. I watched as he eyed me intensely. "What the fuck you got going on?"
"Nothing." I said lowly.
"Come here then," He said with a mug as I stood up off the steps. "Why you acting like that? I ain't seen you all day and you ignoring me and shit."
He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked up at him with low eyes as he eyed my face slightly. He wiped my eyes and placed a kiss on my lips. I deepened the kiss and grabbed his arm as he rubbed my lower back.
He pulled away and eyed me before mugging. "Why you ain't been talking to me?" He asked. I didn't know what to say. I mean, Im in my feelings about personal shit. I don't wanna put that off on him.
"I'm going through something." I said instantly regretting it. I knew it would make him mad me even thinking about shit like that. His eyebrows furrowed as he clenched his jaw. "I'm sorry."
"You going through shit that you can't talk to your nigga about?" He questioned with his face scrunched up causing me to pout. He was making me feel worse.
"It's not that Dee. I just-"
I couldn't even finish my sentence before noticing some girl staring at us. She was with other girls and they were all whispering and eyeing us. I got the vibe that they were gonna try and be on something with me because they were giving me looks.
The girl mugged me before rolling her eyes. I looked her up and down before mugging her back as I approached her. "Wassup? Like what's wrong?" I asked eyeing her.
Tommi instantly turned around and walked away from Sleezy to where I was. She eyed the girl before popping her dead in the eye. They started fighting and before I could go over and break it up. Daleel pulled me away.
"Chill." He said. His voice was always low and calm. It was creepy because even in situations where he need to be doing the most. He never sound like he is. He can be talking his shit and still sound unbothered. Sometimes, I hated it.
"Nah," I said shaking my head as I tried to get out of his hold. "They gonna jump my sister. Let me go!"
"Bitch ain't nobody gonna jump your weak ass sister!" Her friend yelled at me, I scrunched my face up. I didn't know these bitches from a farm not even the dirt at the bottom of my shoe. "She should've minded her business!"
She was talking shit like her friend was winning the fight. That's what caught me off guard. Like your friend getting beat the fuck up and you sitting right here tryna go back and forth? Bitch get in the field!
"Bitch get in the field!" I dragged approaching her. "You doing allat talking! Watch ya mouth hoe!"
She stepped back and I swung popping her right in the mouth. We started fighting. Even though, she was getting out there with me. Bitch still wasn't winning.
I started getting pulled away as I swung and knocked her into the street. I was so drunk that everything was moving so fast. Tommi and Bria were both still fighting as Renni and Sleezy tried to get them to stop.
Sleezy slung Tommi off of the girl and pushed her behind him. "Yeah bitch! Ah haaaa!" She teased with her tongue out as I laughed at the girls. They were onnat with us first and got beat the fuck up in return.
Bria pushed Renni off her with a frown. "Get offa me!" She lashed out yanking away from him. She was a crazy drunk and she had that crazy ass look in her eye.
"You the one falling in the street," He said with a frown as he eyed her. She was so drunk and I hated when she got this drunk because she always got aggressive. "Chill and sit down somewhere."
"Boy fuck your whole life." She said walking off, I shook my head. I watched as he followed her down the street as she ignored him. I felt bad for Renni.
I looked at Dee who was looking around. He looked so mean and I was starting to get turned on. I wrapped my arms around him and looked at him as he mugged me. I knew he was mad with me but I missed being with him.
"You ready to go?" I questioned, he nodded. I looked over at Tommi and noticed that Sleezy was getting on her as she leaned against the wall. She stood there with sad eyes as she listened to what he had to say.
It was weird to see her like that because Tommi didn't listen to anyone. She always did her own thing and felt like anyone who had a problem with how she was just wasn't for her. I liked the scene though. Seeing her being submissive was a good look on her.
"This the shit I be talking about," Sleezy fussed as he towered over Tommi. "We supposed to be working on dis shit and you out here doing allis! Then got the nerve to complain about us and y'all do shit like this!"
"Ok, I'm sorry." She whined before hugging his waist.
I busted out laughing as she pouted and laid her head against his chest. It was funny to see her so soft. "Bitch you're a clown." I said pulling Dee with me. He held my hand as we walked towards the front of the project area. I guess they were about to leave too.
"Where you finna go?" She questioned holding onto Sleezy's arm. I loved seeing them together. I don't know, it kind of just fits them. I don't think I can see them apart anymore it's weird. Their relationship just was so..different. "Poundtown?"
"Probably," I said with a shrug before laughing. "But
ima go in the house and deal with Gladys ass first."
"What's wrong? I thought things were good with y'all after everything. I mean, you said y'all fixed everything and y'all even be going on lil dates and shit now. You really got it made when you think about it."
I frowned at her as she rambled about how well my mother treats me. I really didn't wanna talk about it in front of Dee because I knew that he was listening. I didn't want him to think badly about my mother because she saved me and she is a nice person.
But it's like she hides me.
I've never met anyone in her family. We've spoken on the phone for like birthdays and hollidays. She never takes me on trips to visit, only text when she's gone. I mean, it's weird eshit. She takes very good care of me and never treated me in any wild way but she's hiding me like she's ashamed or something.
"Things are more complicated than it seems." I said keeping it short as we approached their cars. I looked over at Tommi and she just nodded her head in agreement. "Ima text you."
"Bet."
We went our separate ways into different cars. I hopped in and waited for Dee to finish talking to Sleezy at my door. They dapped up and he got inside. He instantly started the car and waited for Sleezy and Tommi to get in.
Once they got in, we both pulled off.
Dee stayed quiet as his music played in the background. I glanced at him and noticed how irritated he looked. I could tell he had a chip on his shoulder about something but I didn't want to argue.
"Bae," I said looking over at him. "I don't want to argue with you. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I really am. I know I should be able to come to you about my hard days but it's hard because you have a lot going on."
"That don't mean you can't talk to me. I told you that we deal with shit together. Just because I'm dealing with shit doesn't mean I can't be there for you. That's my job as your boyfriend. You can't shut me out everytime you having a hard time. That's fucked up."
"I'll do better," I said touching his arm. "I promise."
He looked over at me as he rubbed my thigh before nodding his head. I watched as he focused on the road. I noticed that we were pulling up at my house as he pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off.
"You want me stay over while you deal with Gladys?" He asked before chuckling. I rolled my eyes with a smile as I got ready to get out of the car. I knew he was listening to my conversation.
"You wasn't going to?" I questioned looking at him with a frown. He shrugged and opened his car door. I watched as he walked around and let me out the car. I got out and we walked into my apartment. I quickly closed the door and locked it.
"I'm home!" I yelled out as I walked towards the back of the apartment. I looked around but I didn't hear my mom. I went into her room and she wasn't in there causing me to grab my phone.
Mom
Went to work. Dinners in the oven.
See you in the morning.
I rolled my eyes and walked out the room. I went into the kitchen and noticed Dee standing in front of the microwave rubbing his hands together with a smirk. I looked him up and down and read the sticky note he had on the counter.
For Nana Boyfriend! ♡
"Boy you so press." I said walking over to him. He pulled me into him and kissed my face as I looked up at him. He leaned me against the counter before kissing my lips. I held onto his arms as he started kissing down my face and onto my neck.
"We finish with this little moment?" He asked pulling away from me as he eyed me. He started messing with his braces causing me to pull his hand away from his mouth. I hated when he messed with them. "You gon go to the room or what?"
I eyed him as I ran my hand down his chest. His print was poking through his shorts as I rubbed on it. He grabbed my throat and pressed his lips against mine, deepening the kiss. I started pulling his shorts down causing him to pull away. "What you doing?" He questioned eyeing me.
"Why we gotta go in there?"
——————
I sat at the counter as I typed on my laptop. I was looking into things and careers concerning makeup and hair products. I wanted to start my own business and start doing hair to the public again. I used to do it when I was younger but I had too many girls trying not to pay me because I was only 16.
Now that I'm almost 18, I'm expecting things to be different. I want clients who treat me with respect. Clients who don't question me, refuse to pay me, or speak down on me online.
I looked over by the microwave and smirked at myself. Dee and I eventually ended up in my room after the second round but it got crazy out here. I was glad that my mom wasn't home because I wouldn't have been able to experience that.
I leaned over on the counter as he kissed and sucked on my neck. He had my hair wrapped up in one hand and the other on my waist as he slid in and out of me slowly. I've never experienced nothing like this before. It was just different. Way more affectionate than ever.
He gripped my waist as I moaned. I could hear him in my ear expressing the same thing that I felt. He kissed my back before pulling out. He lifted my leg and started to go down on me causing me to blush.
As I sat my leg on the counter, his face was plunged between my legs as he licked and sucked on my clit. I couldn't help but yelp out when he added two fingers.
"Did you get some breakfast?" I heard snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned and noticed my mom walking into the kitchen in her robe with her hair tied up by a pink silk scarf. I eyed her as she moved around the kitchen. She seemed like she was in a great mood as she hummed and put things away.
"Nah." I said keeping it short. I went back to my research instead of involving myself in a conversation with her. I didn't know what I wanted to say to her just yet but I knew I didn't want to argue with her. Dee was still asleep in my bed and I knew if he heard us at it I would have to explain to him what was going on.
I knew we had a conversation about me opening up to him about what went on in my life but it was way harder than it seemed. I didn't like to explain myself. Especially not what's going on with me. It was hard for me to understand that someone wanted to help me and listen to how I felt. Especially, with a man.
"How's everything been since I've been gone?" She questioned as I typed on my computer, I shrugged.
"It's been cool." I said nodding my head. I didn't really wanna talk to her about anything just for the simple fact that she was on weird shit with me. I didn't want to cause a scene but I wanted to get my point across. I didn't know how to go about it.
"Is everything ok? Your energy seems low." She said grabbing the refrigerator door. I watched as she started taking out things to cook for breakfast. I loved when she cooked. I wanted to scream but I had a grudge. It's too crazy.
"I just think it's weird that we don't talk when you go visit your family. It just doesn't make sense." I said with a frown as she started rinsing out pots. She moved around the kitchen comfortably as she started getting things ready to cook.
She wasn't responding. Instead, she cooked and moved around the kitchen like we weren't speaking at all. It was annoying because you asked me what's wrong and you not even responding to how I feel.
"Hello?" I said looking at her with a deep frown. She cut her eyes at me before slamming the vegetable oil bottle on the counter. "Like, you not saying nothing. How you gonna ask me what's going on and don't respond when I tell you."
"It's nothing to say." She replied. "We do talk. I text you all the time and you reply so I don't know what you mean by that. I literally am always here when you need me while I'm gone."
"You don't let me call you." I said with squinted eyes. "You don't let me come with you. I've never met your family in person or anything. Everything is always over the phone and it's not FaceTime either."
"My family don't have Iphones." She said with a slight shrug. This lady is crazy. This lady must think I'm crazy like what's wrong with her. That's the only thing I said that you felt the need to respond too. Like what's wrong with her? Is she crazy?
"Just say you don't want your family to know me." I said simply before shrugging. "Just say you're embarrassed of me. Tell me how you feel because this is weird and instead of telling me the truth you're being weird and dismissing my feelings."
"I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings Inala," She said with a sad face as she leaned against the counter. "I just don't know what you want me to say. You're not embarrassing. I just don't wanna bring you around my family. And it's nothing wrong with that."
"I'm your daughter." I said standing up out of the bar stool. I began approaching her as she folded her arms. She was mother. I was tempted to put my hands on her but I didn't want to be disrespectful. "You literally picked me up out of a dumpster and raised me. I'm confused on how you don't want me around your family and I am your family! That makes no sense. You make no sense like what?"
"It's not like that Nana," She said laying the bacon on the tray for the oven. "Things are complicated with my family. I don't want you around them. That doesn't mean that you're not my family or I'm hiding you. Things are just harder than you think."
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my laptop from the bar. "Just- don't speak to me." I said before walking off towards my room. I didn't even wanna talk anymore like she's a whole weirdo. I don't understand what she was saying and everything she said was backwards.
Like now we're not family?
I walked into my room and noticed that Dee was still sleep. He had the covers on his waist as he slept with in the middle of my bed with my bonnet on. I grabbed my phone and took a picture with a laugh. He was so sassy sometimes but you gotta protect those braids.
I put my laptop down on the desk and got in bed next to him. I laid my head on his shoulder causing him to move around some. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. I sighed before busting out in tears.
I tried to hold it in but it's so fucking embarrassing.
—————
Gotta go to work! Bye😩