(PERCY'S POV)
I stand at the elevator door, Riptide heavy in my palm slick with rainwater.
Rachel stands behind me, quietly watching in horror. She surely knows she can't change my mind. But she stays regardless.
I reach out to push the up button on the elevator.
I hear Rachel softly sobbing behind me, begging, "Please, Percy, please."
Her pleas fall on deaf ears. The gods will bleed. They will die. No matter who gets in the way. No matter the cost.
I want to see Olympus turned a pool of gold.
I'm about to press the button when I hear Rachel's soft whimper.
"You can't kill them, Percy. It will destroy everything. You can't change the way the world is meant to be. Some things just aren't meant to be controlled."
I hesitate.
The words take me back. Back to a dark cave, a floor pooled with poison, a pair of terrified grey eyes.
Eyes that plead for me to stop.
I feel that same darkness in me now. But there's no Annabeth here to keep it at bay.
I feel like I've already drowned in my hatred.
What would she say if she saw me now?
What would I have said?
I feel Rachel's hand on my arm.
What am I doing? Really? Am I going to crash into Olympus with just a sword and a grudge?
No...
My hand floats above the button that could lead me to a massacre.
...At least, not just yet.
I turn and Rachel stumbles back a step.
I look into her eyes and see the same expression that I saw in Annabeth in that terrible cave in Tartarus.
It's not a sin to ask for help, is what Annabeth used to say.
"Rachel, I don't know what's happening to me. I... I don't feel like myself anymore." I cap Riptide and lean against the wall, suddenly drained. "I need to do this... but I don't think I can just walk in there and kill them. I don't know what to do Rachel."
She stares for a moment in shock before she whispers, "Let go, Percy... forgive. Stop holding on. It's what Annabeth would've wanted," she steps towards me, "this hate is going to kill you."
I groan and put my head in my hands, "I know Rachel, I know. But I can't find it in myself to care."
It's been so long. So long without light. without joy.
without meaning.
So long without Annabeth.
I've gone numb. Everything that once mattered to me just doesn't anymore.
I'm not even sure why I asked Rachel for help...
I know I can't let go.
...I guess that maybe I'm just hoping for a little light before I plunge the world into darkness.
(End of part one)