<< General Macarthur tossed from side to side. Sleep would not come to him. In the darkness he kept seeing Arthur Richmond's face. He'd liked Arthur, he'd been damned fond of Arthur. He'd been pleased that Leslie liked him too. >>
Laying on her bed, Chrissy Cunningham was listening the audiobook tape of the masterpiece And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. It was the third time she listened it this week. Even if she already knew the plot twist, she didn't get enough. The suspens, the atmosphere, the narrator's voice. She could imagine the characters, their environment... It helped her to take her mind off something and to kill time while she was staying in her room.
It must be said that she had a lot of time and few possibilities to spend it. Listening music and audiobooks, lounging in the sun and swimming in her pool, there were the only activities which gave her a little comfort she had been doing those last weeks. She hadn't come back to highschool. She couldn't read her magazines, watch her favorite movies or jogging in her neighborhood now. How could she do that without her eyes ?
Since the March 21th and until her death, she was blind. She couldn't forget it. She had been in the trailer of Eddie Munson, ready to buy strong drugs, ready to do anything that could have stopped her visions, her nightmares. And while Eddie had been looking for his Special K in his room, she had had another vision, the worst of all. That time, the humanoid monster, who had been tortured her during days and nights, had trapped her.
'' Don't cry, Chrissy... It's time for your suffering to end. '' He had said. He had been ready to kill her, she had known it. It was the end. He had lifted his monstrous and deformed hand over her face and then something had happened. She had heard the voices of the singer of Blondie singing Call me and Eddie trying to wake her up from her transe, while the monster had driven his long claw-like fingers in her face.
She didn't remember what had clearly happened next. It was chaotic. She remembered the darkness and two voices : Eddie and a girl she didn't know. She could hear them but she couldn't understand what they had been saying, as if she was in another world with their unintelligible voices echoing around her.
She had woken up the next day in Hawkins Memorial Hospital, alive, safe and sound. At least, almost safe and sound. Quickly, she had understood she couldn't see anything. Panic and despair had invaded her. She had thought she was in another nightmare and had tried to escape, but disoriented and unable to see anything, she had just banged into furniture and fallen on the floor, hysterically screaming until the nurses had injected her tranquilizer.
She had been at the hospital, having clinical examinations to understand what had taken her sight and if she would recover it. To none of those questions, the doctors had found any satisfying answers.
When Jason learnt she'd be completly blind forever, he had freaked out, had found a pathetic excuse and had turned away from her, while she had been needing him the most. Alone, crying her eyes out in her hospital room, she had been facing up the separation and the harsh reality of her new condition.
Except her family, two girls had come to visit her in the hospital, two girls she knew by sight in highschool. Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. They had introduced themselves as Eddie's friends, knowing the truth about what happened to her and questionned her.
Nancy had been witness of the lethal transe of Fred Benson. And with the uniting of Eddie's and Maxine Mayfield's testimony, the girl she had heard the voice in the trailer, their party had understood that the two events were linked. They had been convinced that a huge threat had been coming and had asked her help to understand everything and to save Max, Hawkins and his inhabitants.
Thanks to them, Chrissy had learnt about the Upside Down, the truth behind the blaze of Starcourt, the existence of people with psychokinetic abilities like Eleven or their new enemy. They had called him Vecna, a reference to a powerful dark wizard of Dungeons and Dragons, a game they played in Hellfire club. She had hoped to help them more in the fight against Vecna but she couldn't. How could a blind help them to fight monsters and cancel the apocalypse ?
With the news on TV, she had heard about the death of Jason's friend, Patrick McKinney. Given the reports, it was obvious that Vecna had killed him too. She knew she had been lucky. She was the first victim and thanks to a combinaison of circumstances which Fred and Patrick hadn't benefited from, she was the only survivor of the attacks of Vecna. She had learnt what had happened to them. All their bones snapped like straw, their eyes gouged out. Oh God, she had avoided this awful fate.
She had learnt, few days after, the death of Vecna. Nancy, Robin and Steve had made sure of it, with Molotov cocktails and gunshots. Max had been saved. El could have closed the three gates. His plan had failed. Hawkins and its inhabitants had been saved by a handful of brave heroes.
The curse of Hawkins was over. That would be the story which people would remember. All was well that ended well. Life would go on... In appearance only. In truth, the recent events had hurted a lot of people. The Benson and the McKinney families were still in mourning their dead sons. She had been blinded and Eddie had been seriously injured too.
He had wanted to help them. With Dustin, he had decoyed the flying creatures away from the Creel house, where Vecna had been hiding in the Upside Down. And after, he had lured them again, away from Dustin and the gate. Surrounded by the swarm, he had been overpowered and pinned to the ground by them.
Those fucking critters had carried out a frenzied attack on him. They had severly wounded him, on his chest, his shoulders, his left hand. Dustin managed to the first aid and with Steve, Nancy and Robin helping, they had gone out the alternate dimension and led him to the hospital.
Doctors had stabilized his state but they couldn't have done anything for his hand. It was too damaged. They had amputated him and transfered him in a bigger hospital in Indianapolis, which was the most likely to treat his other wounds. During weeks after, Eddie had undergone surgerys, skin graftings on his abdomen and physical therapy. He had come back to Hawkins for three weeks and since, it was radio silence.
She was laying on her bed, in her room, thinking about Eddie. No one had news of him. Seemingly, he didn't pick up the phone, nor open his door to his friends and prefered keep himself to himself. Everyone seemed to accept that. She imagined he wasn't fine and the thought that she had to do something for that tormented her.
She wanted to see him and apologize. Maybe that was some kind of self-centred concern, but she felt guilty for what had happened to him. He had lost his hand, because of her. If she wouldn't have been there, if she wouldn't have come to him to buy drugs, he wouldn't have been implicated in all this story. His body would be unharmed and Eddie would be still living his peaceful life.
She heard a noise, which didn't come from the audiobook. Someone were knocking to her door. She grabbed her Walkman and looked for the pause button.
<< God damn the fellow ! Damn his smiling face, his brisk "Yes, sir." Liar and hypocrite ! Stealer of another man's wife ! It had gathered slowly, that col. >>
She removed her headphones, put the Walkman and her headphone on her night table and sat on the mattress. She grabbed the sunglasses on her night table and put them on. Not that she needed them in her room, but she knew her eyes could disturb the most of people. By the way they had to talk to her, she had percieved that they avoided to look at her or to meet her gaze when she wasn't wearing her sunglasses to hide it.
'' Come in. ''
She heard the little click of the doorknob and footsteps in the room.
'' Hi Chrissy ! ''
'' Hello Chrissy. ''
By the always happy tone and the little lisp of the first One re and the deeper voice and the calm speech of the second one, Chrissy immediatly recognized Dustin and Steve. She smiled.
'' Hello Dustin. Hello Steve. ''
She felt someone sitting on her bed. She extended her hand and felt a hand holding hers. A small plump hand. She recognized easily it was Dustin's.
'' How are you today ? '' asked Dustin.
She wasn't on the edge of the abyss anymore. She had gotten over her break up with Jason for a while. But it wasn't a happy time yet. She couldn't completely accept her new condition yet. Her father had enrolled her for an institution for blind. When the summer would be over, she would go there and learn everything she needed to live without her eyes. She was nervous about her stay. It meant a new environment, new changes, she would be alone there, without her friends. Would she be allowed to take her tapes and her Walkman with her ? Would she be allowed to call her friends ?
And after ? What would she become after ? What would she be ? She was still soul-searching about her future, what she would be able to do with her blindness, to which dreams she could still cling. She would never be successful in a college and have a job. And how she could raise a child when she had difficulty taking care of her ? For now, the only future she could see was her confined in the house of her mother, bored to death in her room, single. A blind old maid, with a dozen of stray cats for compagny. Such great...
She didn't want to bother them with her problems. They did so much for her.
'' Very well. ''
'' Good. We bring you new audiobooks. I hope you'll like them. ''
His hand disappeared and Dustin listed her the tapes he was putting in her hand. A psychological thriller, a romance novel, a science fiction one, a fantasy one and a crime one. She didn't know their titles and the names of their author but that was a good thing. She had no objections for novelty.
'' With those, you might listen according to your wish or your mood. ''
His little attentions were touching. Her smiled became bigger.
'' Thank you so much. ''
She stood and walked to her desk. She put the tapes on it, next to her hairbrush, being careful to respect the order. At first the thriller on her left, secondly the romance novel, then the science fiction one, the fantasy one and the last, the crime novel. She would have to remember it.
'' You know, I cogitated and I really think that you could play D&D with us. You don't need your eyes to live the adventure with us, it's only in your mind, with your imagination and we'd help you with your paper sheet. That could be fun. ''
On her left, Steve sighed and muttered.
'' You're already trying to enroll Chrissy in your Hellfire club ? ''
'' I'm just suggesting that she's able to do it, I'm not obliging her. '' Dustin answered.
Even if she knew they didn't do it intentionally, she didn't like when people were talking about her while she was in the same place.
'' It might do you good to hang out with us and have fun. '' Dustin continued.
'' Dustin, it's nice but... We have already talked about that... Your game seems to be complicated. And for now, I don't think I'm capable of playing it. ''
She had so much things to do, to think, to memorize. She wasn't ready for memorizing books of rules.
'' Maybe later. ''
'' That's okay. ''
She sat on the bed and started to fiddle with her nails.
'' Is everything okay ? '' Steve asked.
'' Does any one of you have news of Eddie ? How is he ? ''
She hoped they would have a good new. There was an awkward silence. Visibly, they didn't have good ones...
'' He doesn't get better. '' Steve confessed.
'' We have tried to visit him but... He prefers to stay alone. '' Dustin concurred, with a sad tone.
She sighed. It boded ill.
'' I would like to see him. ''
'' Uh... I'm not sure this is a good idea. Do you remember his reaction at his return ? '' retorted Steve.
She hadn't been there. She had been in another state, seeing an umpteenth eye specialist doctor. But she had heard the story. When he had gotten back from the hospital, all his friends had been at the trailer to welcome him. But Eddie, wearing a gloomy expression, had gone in his room and had slammed the door, without a word.
'' I think he needs time... '' Dustin added.
She didn't agree. He needed to be supported, whatever he said. She was well-placed to know that. Nancy, Steve, Robin, Dustin, Max and Lucas had regurlarly come to see her after the death of Vecna. They had come to know how she was, to bring her audiobooks and tapes, to talk to her, to make her laugh. If they hadn't done, she would've made herself a deadly cocktail with all the pills of the medicine chest. She knew it. She had considered that option, once.
And if Eddie was depressed like she had been ? And if he would consider to cut his veins, to swallow the barrel of a gun or to take an OD with all the drugs he had ? And if he would act it ? She would feel terrible if it would happen and she wouldn't have done anything to avoid it.
'' I wanna see him. I wanna talk to him. ''
'' Tomorrow, if you insist. It's late. It's already 6:48 pm. ''
She didn't care how late it was. She searched her bag on the foot of her bed and found it. She grabbed her Walkman and her headphones and put them inside. She turned on her right and counted her steps. At twenty, she knew she would be at the door. She was walking but two hands on her shoulders stopped her.
'' Chrissy, listen to me. ''
It was Steve, getting in her way.
'' Steve, do you want to do me a favor ? Let me through and take me there. ''
'' Uh... I'm not sure your mother would agree to let you leave home at this hour. ''
Dustin was right. She wouldn't, no matter which the hour. But that was her problem, not their.
'' With all your adventures, you won't make me believe you had never snuck out. ''
Steve sighed and took his hands off her.
'' As you wish. ''
She reached the doorstep, turned on her left and kept walking. She knew she was passing the doors of her parents' room, Carl's room and the office of her father. There was nothing to be worried. Her brother was at The Palace, playing arcade games with his friends. No chance he would rat on her for her escape. And her father was locked in his office, busy to dissect his bookkeeping files. He wouldn't even notice her absence. The real challenge was to avoid her mother downstairs.
She heard steps behind her. She guessed Steve and Dustin were following her. Five, four, three, two, one, she stopped. She was up of the stairs. She grasped the banister on her left and prudently, the most quietly on the wooden floor, a step after another one, went downstairs. She listened carefully. She heard her mother talking to someone, probably at the phone in the living room. She needed to hide from her sight but there was something she wanted to take before leaving. She handed her bag.
'' Steve, I think there's two coke bottles in the fridge. Can you put them in my bag, please ? Take a bottle opener too. '' She whispered.
That could be useful, if ever they would be thirsty. She didn't know yet what she would do with Eddie, or how long it would take. Steve took the bag and disappeared. She looked for her sandals, and grabbed them. She walked to the main door and discretly opened it. She hoped her mother wouldn't see her leaving the house. They had to be quick.
'' Dustin, guide me outside to Steve's car. ''
Immediatly, his hand took hers and helped her. They went down the five little steps outside. On this day of summer, the paving stones of the path were hot under her bare feet, almost burning. Around fourty of steps and Dustin opened the car door.
'' Come in. ''
She sat inside. Once in the car, she put her shoes on, closed the car door and fastened her. With the movement of the shock absorbers, she knew that Dustin was sitting in the car too.
'' Your mother will notice your absence sooner or later. ''
'' Yeah. Later's better. ''
Another car door opened and Steve entered in the car. Someone put something on her knees. She recognized her bag. Quickly, he started the car and drove to Eddie's trailer. She tried to remember where he turned, but she quickly thought it was useless and stupid. How could she know which street he chose ? The first, the second street or even the sixth on left ?
That was her first trip outside her home without a check-up with a doctor and clinical tests as purpose. She felt excited, like she hadn't been for a long time. She was tasting a little freedom. She missed to go out, to go shopping, to act like any other girl her age. In few weeks, it would be the July 4th. Of course, she wouldn't see the fireworks but she could go on the rides. She smiled at this possibility.
'' So, what are you going to do with Eddie ? '' Steve asked.
She didn't really have a plan. She wanted to help him and talk with him. Then, she remembered a discussion she had had with Granma during one of their walks. She remembered she had asked her why she always wanted to do the same route on feet with her. '' I don't walk, sweetie. I enjoy the landscape and I clear my mind. '' Perhaps Granma was right, when she had still been of sound mind.
'' Walk and talk. ''
'' What ? That's all ? ''
She rose an eyebrow. He seemed disappointed. But what did he expect ? A wave of a magic wand and pow ! Eddie would exude happiness ?
'' It's a good beginning. '' Dustin concurred.
'' Do you really think he's gonna get better in a flash, Steve ? '' she put.
'' I don't know... Actually, I don't understand why he reacts like that. He should be happy to be alive. ''
Yes, he should be happy but he wasn't. Just like her. She shook her head.
'' It's not that simple, Steve. ''
'' It's just a hand. It's really annoying but it could have been worse. I guess you have more daily problems than him. ''
'' Steve... You don't help. '' Dustin informed.
'' What ? ''
When Steve and Dustin started to debate about the difficulties that a blind and a cripple could encounter in their daily life, she put her headphones on her ears and resumed her listening. She didn't want to listen them trying to put themselves in her and Eddie's shoes.
<<d murderous rage. He'd managed to carry on as usual, to show nothing. He'd tried to make his manner to Richmond just the same... >>
During the ride, she was cogitating about how she would do with Eddie. How would he be when she would see him ? Would he be agressive or depressed ? Which words would she choose ? Why would he listen her ? Would he listen to her at least ? Would he easily follow her or not ? Would he easily talk with her ?
When she felt the car stopped, she turned off her walkman and put it in her bag. She let it on the back seat next to her, unfastened herself and opened the door. She stepped out and extended her hand in front of her.
'' Dustin ? ''
'' I'm here. ''
On her right, she felt his left hand taking her hand. They walked together somewhere.
'' Hello Mr Munson. ''
So, he was Eddie's uncle. She had never met him before. She remembered Eddie had mentioned him that night, before that Vecna took possession of her.
'' Dustin, Steve. ''
He didn't seem to be thrilled to see them. She didn't know him but at first sight, he seemed to be pretty gruff.
'' And... I'm not sure to know you. ''
She noticed some kind of Southern-tinged accent in his way to talk.
'' I'm Chrissy. ''
'' So you're Chrissy, the girl Eddie saved.''
Of course, Mr Munson was aware of all the story. Dustin and Steve had probably had to justify the reasons why his nephew was injured like that. She lowered her eyes. Maybe she should apologize to him too. She was scared to be reprimanded for what had happened to Eddie.
'' Pleased to meet you, my dear. ''
She was surprise. He didn't blame her.
'' Me too. ''
She extended her hand and a strong and rough one shook hers. She smelled a mixed scents of cigarettes and eau de Cologne.
'' We come to visit Eddie. '' Steve declared.
'' How is he ? '' Dustin asked,worried.
There was a little embarassed moment.
'' It's getting worse and worse. Always in a foul mood, he spends his time sleeping or drinking like a fish. He hasn't eaten since days. He hasn't hit rock bottom yet but... It can't be far off. '' Mr Munson muttered.
She was sad to learn it. If he drank too much, she had done well to pick coke bottles and not vodka or rum bottle. Mr Munson sighed, he seemed to be concerned by the frame of mind of Eddie. The scent of cigarettes became stronger. Was he smoking right now ?
'' I don't know what to do with him. I should count myself happy that he doesn't try to commit suicide. '' he sadly announced.
She shook her head. Kill yourself or let you die, it amounted to the same thing. The only difference was the time it would take.
'' I wanna talk to him. ''
She started walking but Dustin seemed to hesitate and didn't move.
'' Dustin, lead me to the door. ''
'' I'm sorry to tell you that, Chrissy but... He doesn't want to see anyone. He likely tells you to go away. And trust me, he's more and more polite. ''
The irony of Mr Munson made her smile. Was that a challenge ? She accepted it.
'' He can try. '' she replied.
Finally, Dustin moved with her and together, they walked to the entrance.
'' I warned you. He's sobering up in his room. On your left, at the back of the trailer. ''
With Dustin helping her, she climbed the few steps to the door. She could hear Steve and Mr Munson were still talking about Eddie and his mood swings. She stopped for listening them.
'' His bandmates came to visit him last week. It didn't come off well... After they left, he went berserk and smashed his eletric guitar in one go. ''
Chrissy didn't know Eddie well. But she knew he was a musician and how he loved music. At their meeting at the picnic table in the woods, he had invited her to the gig of his band. And during the little road trip they had done together in his van, they had talked about music. The fact he had broken his guitar was clearly worrisome, as much as the fact he was starving himself.
Dustin opened the door.
'' Wait here, Dustin. ''
'' Are you sure ? ''
She nodded.
'' I'll do it all alone. ''
She came in. She had an unclear memory of the trailer. Her last visit had been shorted. She remembered a plethora of caps in the living room, the little kitchen, the hall and the view on the trailer park. Her left hand on the wall, her right one in front of her, she turned left and followed the hall. She walked slowly until she found a closed door in front of her. She guessed it was Eddie's room. She knocked three times. No response. She did it again.
'' Fuck off... ''
She recognized his voice. And Mr Munson was right. Eddie was more and more polite. She touched the door and looked for the handle. When she grabbed it, she checked if the door was locked. It seemed to be not. She opened the door and walked in the room. She was struck by the mixed scents of cigarettes, emanation of alcohol, sweating and stuffy odor. If depression would've been a smell, it could be this one.
She hit something with her foot on the ground which produced metallic sounds, like several empty cans bumping into each other. Probably beer cans. She noticed the silence in the room.
'' Are you fucking deaf ? I said fuck off ! ''
'' I'm blind, Eddie. Not deaf. ''
She kept walking, her hand still on the wall. Two steps further, she found a hole as big as her hand. Was it due to a punch during another anger outburst ? She heard a click sound, Eddie groaning and a little sound, like material suddenly rustled.
'' Chrissy ? You shouldn't be here. ''
She bumped into a furniture and let out a curse word. She looked for a chair or his bed, following his voice. Her shin met an obstacle.
'' Are you really blind ? ''
'' Completely and irreversibly blind. ''
She touched it and inspected it. Something thick but soft and firm. A mattress, his bed. She sat on it. She tried to turn her head in the right direction, in order that he could see her face.
'' Are you dressed ? I wanna go for a walk with you. ''
She wanted to talk with him, in neutral ground. Somewhere outside they could be alone, breathe without the scent of cigarettes which was already irritating her throat. She felt some movements echoed in the mattress. He was probably laying again. She heard another click. What was that sound ? A switch ? For a lamp ? She couldn't see anything but she knew, at this period of year, it was still daytime at this hour. Was he spending his days in his room in the darkness, being in the doldrums with alcool and cigarettes ?
'' A little walk, just you and me, Eddie. That's all I'm asking. ''
It wouldn't kill him.
'' I don't fancy. Go back home now. Please. ''
He stayed still. She did the same, without saying a word. She didn't know how Dustin and Steve had tried to visit him. Knowing Dustin, he had showed kindness and hadn't insisted when Eddie had sent them on their way.
She wasn't like them. She was stubborn. That was a game of patience. And she knew exactly how to win it : she just had to wait. Because the first who talked lost. She thought Eddie wasn't the kind of person to be patient. And alcohol wouldn't help him. It was just a matter of time.
'' You're still here ? ''
She smiled. That was easy.
'' A walk, and after you'll leave me alone ? ''
Her smiled disappeared. He set a condition. He was negociating... He was doing the first step. That was a good sign. But if he hoped to wave her off so easily, he certainly didn't know her very well.
'' I will. '' she lied.
He sighed.
'' Okay... ''
She felt him moving on the bed, heard the click and then, him walking somewhere.
'' Steve and Dustin are waiting for us outside. Hurry up. ''
'' Goddamn it... Seriously ? '' he muttered.
She was a little doubtful. Did he really think she had come all alone ?
'' Eddie, did you expect that I take the wheel ? ''
She noticed she had never asked Steve if she could take the wheel of his car. She should try once, only to hear his reaction. That might be hilarious. There was a little moment of hesitation.
'' Yeah... It's not false. ''
There were little rustling noises again. Was he getting dressed ? In which outfit had he been when she had entered in his room ? She bit her lips, embarassed.
'' Don't you have a white cane like all the blinds ? '' he asked.
She shrugged her shoulders.
'' Not yet. I must learn how to walk with before. In two months, I'll go to a school for blinds where I'll learn Braille too and how to facilitate my daily life. ''
'' Oh. Really ? I hope it will help you. ''
She hoped it too. She was blind. She would've to learn how to live with it, she needed to gain the most possible independence.
'' Why do you want so much walk with me ? ''
Because she wanted to help him to get better.
'' Once, my grand mother said me that she didn't walk, she enjoyed the landscape and she cleared her mind. That's what we're going to do. Even if... I can't really enjoy the landscape. ''
'' And where do you want to go ? ''
'' Lover's Lake. ''
'' Uh... Why there ? ''
She didn't go there since the last summer. She wanted to breathe outside, out of her house, in some kind of peaceful place. She guessed Eddie needed it too.
'' I remember it as a pretty place. Are you ready ?''
'' Almost... I join you outside. '' he sighed.
She stood up and turned back around. Her right hand on the wall she had already explored, she started to walk to the main door. She was walking when she found out she hadn't counted her steps from the main door to Eddie's room. Fuck, she hadn't paid attention to that. She felt tired all of a sudden, she would have a headache soon. Hesitating, she slowed down. She jumped when her arm bumped into an obstacle. She examined it. A door. The main door. She walked out and instinctively, closed it behind her. She could hear Mr Munson talking with Dustin and Steve.
'' Dustin ? ''
She heard their conversation stopping and hurried footsteps.
'' I'm here, Chrissy. ''
He took her hand.
'' I need to sit. Can you take me back to the car ? ''
They walked together. Dustin opened the door and she sat inside the car. She massaged her temples. Luckily, the pain would quickly disappear if she rested a little.
'' Eddie's coming ? ''
Before she could answer, she heard the door of the trailer slamming.
'' For fuck's sake... '' Eddie groaned.
'' What the hell... ? '' Steve whispered.
'' Eddie ! '' Dustin exclaimed.
She heard his heavy footsteps going downstairs. By ear, Dustin seemed to run to him and embrace him.
'' I'm glad to see you ! ''
'' Yeah... Stop fucking staring at me, Harrington. ''
'' Uh... How long haven't you taken a shower, Eddie ? ''
'' Kiss my ass. ''
She sighed. This conversation was going to weary her more and to give her a headache.
'' Shall we ? '' she asked.
Someone closed her door. She guessed Steve and Dustin got into the car. Eddie and his uncle were exchanging words before he joined them into the car.
'' I want to settle this quickly. '' Eddie declared, next to her.
She fastened her seatbelt. Steve started the motor and turned on the radio.
'' What's our destination ? ''
'' Lover's lake. '' She and Eddie said together.
Steve was driving. The boys stayed quiet. Taking advantage of their silence, half-listening the soft music, rocked by the roll of the car, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.