CASSIUS FELT ROBBED. WHICH HE PROBABLY WAS. "There is no way you just dragged me to a ranch." Cassius said in disbelief.
"Triple G Ranch." Nico said, sounding impatient. Geryon asked them to wait and they have been waiting for AGES. "That's it." Nico said as he walked to the glass doors, Cassius followed him, eyeing the place.
Nico di Angelo came out of the glass doors onto the porch followed closely by Cassius. "Geryon, I won't wait for—"
Nico froze when he saw a group of ugly teenagers huddled together and talking with Geryom. Then he drew his sword. Cassius didn't know what was happening so he took out his Gladius in case he needed to defend himself, which he would with how ugly they were.
Geryon snarled when he saw it. "Put that away, Mr. di Angelo and Cassius. I ain't gonna have my guests killin' each other."
"But that's—"
"Percy Jackson," Geryon supplied. "Annabeth Chase. And a couple of their monster friends. Yes, I know."
"Oh right, that ugly blonde girl huh?" Cassius realised. Nico looked at him, "You know Annabeth?" He asked. "I know a lot of things, Di Angelo." Cassius answered.
"Monster friends?" Grover said indignantly. Perhaps offended to be called a monster.
"That man is wearing three shirts," Tyson said, like he was just realizing this really simple thing that was right in front of his face.
"They let my sister die!" Nico's voice trembled with rage. "They're here to kill me!"
"They aren't going to kill you Neeks. I won't allow them to." Cassius said, glaring at the group of ugly little kids and smirking at them with insanity.
"Nico, we're not here to kill you." The boy who was spying raised his hands. "What happened to Bianca was—"
"Don't speak her name! You're not worthy to even talk about her!"
"You were spying on us?!" Cassius yelled. "You ugly fat fucking cunt!"
"Well.. sorry?" The boy shrugged. "Sorry won't help your case, Perseus Jackson! Son of Poseidon!" He hissed in distaste.
"Wait a minute," blondie cut through their conversation and pointed over at Geryon. "How do you know our names?"
The three-bodied man winked. "I make it my business to keep informed, darlin'. Everybody pops into the ranch from time to time. Everyone needs something from ole Geryon. Now, Mr. di Angelo, put that ugly sword away before I have Eurytion take it form you."
Eurytion sighed, but he hefted his spiked club. At his feet, Orthus growled.
Nico hesitated. Cassius casually put his weapon away, staring at Geryon. He didn't know if blondie recognised him yet, but it shouldn't take that long.
Reluctantly, Nico sheathed his sword. "If you come near me, Percy, I'll summon help. You don't want to meet my helpers, I promise."
"I believe you," Percy said.
Geryon patted Nico's shoulder. "There, we've all made nice. Now come along, folks. I want to give you a tour of the ranch."
"Why am I even here?" Cassius wondered, painfully.
"Cause I dragged you here." Nico said.
"Fuck you."
***
Geryon had a trolley thing—like one of those kiddie trains that take you around zoos. It was painted black and white in a cowhide pattern. The driver's car had a set of longhorns stuck to the hood, and the horn sounded like a cowbell. Cassius figured maybe this was how he tortured people. He embarrassed them to death riding around in the moo-mobile.
Nico sat in the very back with Cassius next to him, probably so they could keep an eye on the ugly kids. Eurytion crawled in next to Cassius with his spiked club and pulled his cowboy hat over his eyes like he was going to take a nap. Orthus jumped in the front seat next to Geryon and began barking happily in two-part harmony.
Traitor, Cyclops, Satyr, and Jackson took the middle two cars.
"We have a huge operation!" Geryon boasted as the moo-mobile lurched forward. "Horses and cattle mostly, but all sorts of exotic varieties, too."
They came over a hill, and traitor gasped. "Hippalektryons? I thought they were extinct!"
At the bottom of the hill was a fenced-in pasture with a dozen of animals that Cassius didn't really recognise at all. Each had the front half of a horse and the back half of a rooster. Their rear feet were huge yellow claws. They had feathery tails and red wings.
"Rooster ponies," Cyclops said in amazement. "Do they lay eggs?"
"Once a year!" Geryon grinned in the rearview mirror. "Very much in demand for omelettes!"
"That's horrible!" Traitor said. "They must be an endangered species!"
Geryon waved his hand. "Gold is gold, darling. And you haven't tasted the omelettes."
"That's not right," Satyr murmured, but Geryon just kept narrating the tour.
"Now, over here," he said, "we have our fire-breathing horses, which you may have seen on your way in. They're bred for war, naturally."
"What war?" Percy asked.
Geryon grinned slyly. "Oh, whichever one comes along. And over yonder, of course, are our prize red cows."
Sure enough, hundreds of the cherry-colored cattle were grazing the side of the hill.
"So many," Grover said.
"Yes, well, Apollo is too busy to see them," Geryon explained, "so he subcontracts to us. We breed them vigorously because there's such a demand."
"For what?" Percy asked.
Geryon raised an eyebrow. "Meat, of course! Armies have to eat."
"You kill the sacred cows of the sun god for hamburger meat?" Satyr said. "That's the against ancient laws!"
"Oh, don't get so worked up, satyr. They're just animals."
"Just animals!"
"Yes, and if Apollo cared, I'm sure he would tell us."
"If he knew," Percy muttered.
Nico sat forward. "I don't care about any of this, Geryon. We had business to discuss, and this wasn't it!"
"I don't even know why I'm here." Cassius shrugged. "Imma leave."
Nico grasped his arm. "Dude, get off me!" Cassius yelled.
"All in good time, Mr. di Angelo. Look over here; some of my exotic game."
The next field was ringed in barbed wire. The whole area was crawling with giant scorpions.
"Triple G Ranch," Percy said, suddenly remembering. "Your mark was on the crates at camp. Quintus got his scorpions from you."
"Scorpions?" Cassius asked. "Oh.. scorpions. I ate one before."
"You did what?" Satyr asked with disbelief.
"Quintus..." Geryon mused. "Short gray hair, muscular, swordsman?"
"Yeah."
"Never heard of him," Geryon said. "Now, over here are my prize stables! You must see them."
Near the banks of a green river was a horse corral the size of a football field. Stables lined one side of it. About a hundred horses were milling around in the muck—and when Cassius says muck, he means horse poop. It was the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen apart from everything in Ancient Rome, and probably Caligula's face, like a poop blizzard had come through and dumped four feet of the stuff overnight. The horses were really gross from wading through it, and the stables were just as bad.
Nico gagged. "What is that?"
"Caligula." Cassius replied. "Caligula?" Traitor asked with confusion. "What? Caligula is disgusting. Like this. Have you seen his face?" Cassius asked.
"No." Cassius paused.
"Oh."
"My stables!" Geryon cut in. "Well, actually they belong to Aegas, but we watch over them for a small monthly fee. Aren't they lovely?"
"They're disgusting!" Traitor blond girl yelled.
"Lots of poop," Cyclops observed.
"It's Caligula!" Cassius deadpanned.
"How can you keep animals like that?" Grover cried.
"Y'all getting' on my nerves," Geryon said. "These are flesh-eating horses, see? They like these conditions."
"Plus, you're too cheap to have them cleaned," Eurytion mumbled from under his hat.
"Quiet!" Geryon snapped. "All right, perhaps the stables are a bit challenging to clean. Perhaps they do make me nauseous when the wind blows the wrong way. But so what? My clients still pay me well."
"What clients? I don't think you have any... maybe just Caligula." Cassius muttered.
"Oh, you'd be surprised how many people will pay for a flesh-eating horse. They make great garbage disposals. Wonderful way to terrify your enemies. Great at birthday parties! We rent them out all the time."
"You're a monster," Traitor decided.
Geryon stopped the moo-mobile and turned to look at her. "What gave it away? Was it the three bodies?"
"You have to let these animals go," Satyr said. "It's not right!"
"Customers are buying?" Cassius asked. Geryon nodded. "Oh. Kay."
"And the clients you keep talking about," Annabeth said. "You work for Kronos, don't you? You're supplying his army with horses, food, whatever they need."
Geryon shrugged, which was very weird since he had three sets of shoulders. It looked like he was doing the wave all by himself. "I work for anyone with gold, young lady. I'm a businessman. And I sell them anything I have to offer."
He climbed out of the moo-mobile and strolled toward the stables as if enjoying the fresh air. It would've been a nice view, with the river and the trees and hills and all, except for the quagmire of horse muck.
Nico got out of the back car and stormed over to Geryon. Cassius followed tiredly. The cowherd Eurytion wasn't as sleepy as he looked. He hefted his club and walked after Nico and Cassius.
"Me and C came here for business, Geryon," Nico said. "And you haven't answered us."
"Mmm." Geryon examined a cactus. His left arm reached over and scratched his middle-chest. "Yes, you'll get a deal, all right."
"My ghost told me you could help. He said you could guide us to the soul we need."
"Wait a second," Percy cut in. "I thought I was the soul you wanted."
"You can't offer living souls, fluff brain." Cassius told him. Nico looked at Percy like he was crazy. "You? Why would I want you? Bianca's soul is worth a thousand of yours! Now, can you help me, Geryon, or not?"
"Oh, I imagine I could," the rancher said. "Your ghost friend, by the way, where is he?"
Nico looked uneasy. "He can't form in broad daylight. It's hard for him. But he's around somewhere."
"I kicked him in the nuts.. somehow." Cassius muttered in how weird that actually was. Geryon smiled. "I'm sure. Minos likes to disappear when things get...difficult."
"Minos?" Percy asked. "You mean that evil king? That's the ghost who's been giving you advice?"
"Nooo. Albert fucking Einstein!"
"It's none of your business, Percy!" Nico turned back to Geryon. "And what do you mean about things getting difficult?"
The three-bodied man sighed. "Well, you see, Nico—can I call you Nico?"
"No."
"You see, Nico, Luke Castellan is offering very good money for half-bloods. Especially powerful half-bloods. And I'm sure when he learns your little secret, who you really are, he'll pay very, very well indeed."
"Castellannnnn... uhhhh, is he related to Tabbi Castellan?" Cassius asked.
They all stared at him blankly. "Demigod Civil War? Tabitha Castellan, WAR GIRL?"
"OHHHH." Everyone realised.
Nico drew his sword amongst the confusion, but Eurytion knocked it out of his hand. Before anyone could get up, Orthus pounced on Percy's chest and growled, his faces an inch away from his.
"Bro is getting married." Cassius snorted at the sight. "Not funny!" Percy yelled.
"I would stay in the car, all of you," Geryon warned. "Or Orthus will tear Mr. Jackson's throat out. Now, Eurytion, if you would be so kind, secure Nico and Cassius."
The cowherd spit into the grass. "Do I have to?"
"Yes, you fool!"
Eurytion looked bored, but he wrapped one huge arm around Nico and lifted him up like a wrestler. Cassius sighed.
"Pick up the sword, too," Geryon said with distaste. "There's nothing I hate worse than Stygian Iron."
Eurytion picked up the sword, careful not to touch the blade.
"Now," Geryon said cheerfully, "we've had the tour. Let's go back to the lodge, have some lunch, and send an Iris-message to our friends in the Titan army."
"You fiend!" Traitor cried despite not really caring.
Geryon smiled at her. "Don't worry, my dear. Once I've delivered Mr. di Angelo and Cassius, you and your party can go. I don't interfere with quests. Besides, I've been paid well to give you safe passage, which does not, I'm afraid, include Mr. di Angelo and Cassius.
"Paid by whom?" Traitor acted, it was pretty good. "What do you mean?"
"Never you mind, darlin'. Let's be off, shall we?"
"Wait!" Percy said, and Orthus growled. He stayed perfectly still so the dog wouldn't tear his throat out. "Geryon, you said you're a businessman. Make me a deal."
Geryon narrowed his eyes. "What sort of deal? Do you have gold?"
"I've got something better. Barter."
"But Mr. Jackson, you've got nothing."
"You could have him clean the stables," Eurytion suggested innocently.
"I'll do it!" Percy said. "If I fail, you get all of us. Trade us all to Luke for gold."
"Assuming the horses don't eat you," Geryon observed.
"Either way, you get my friends," percy said. "But if I succeed, you've got to let all of us go, including Nico and Cassius."
"No!" Nico screamed. "Don't do me any favors, Percy. I don't want your help!"
"I'm going to sleep now." Cassius fell asleep standing.
Geryon chuckled. "Percy Jackson, those stables haven't been cleaned in a thousand years...though it's true I might be able to sell more stable space if all that poop was cleared away."
"So what have you got to lose?"
The rancher hesitated. "All right, I'll accept your offer, but you have to get it done by sunset. If you fail, your friends get sold, and I get rich."
"Deal."
He nodded. "I'm going to take your friends with me, back to the lodge.
We'll wait for you there."
Eurytion gave me a funny look. It might have been sympathy. He whistled, and the dog jumped off Percy and onto Annabeth's lap. She yelped.
This was not what he expected, he didn't have any battle strategies so he started to sleep, sleeping helps him for, battle strategies for the future and he knows exactly how to execute them.