TW: Panic Attack, Abuse, Torture.
About a week later, Draco wakes up to an empty bed. He's gotten into the habit of waking up early, in hopes of waking before Harry, so he can do the chores for him. It's currently four in the morning, but Harry has still managed to wake up before him! How is that even possible? Does he ever sleep?
But then Draco realizes that calming charms don't last forever and Harry probably gets nightmares when it wears off. Draco just doesn't notice because he's asleep. As much as he wants to stay up all night and help Harry, it's impossible to survive on no sleep.
Draco sighs and slowly gets up. He hates seeing Harry in so much pain... . which is crazy because a few months ago, he would have loved seeing him like this. He would want to make it worse. Draco grimaces at the thought. How is it that he's had such a change of heart? Is it because he's developed a sense of protection over him, seeing him in so much danger? Is it that he's risked so much for him? He may never know why, but for some reason, he cares more about Harry Potter than he does about anybody else.
He wants to be there for Harry, always. He wants to hold his hand, he wants to be with Harry, he wants to protect Harry... but that's impossible because his father wants to kill Harry.
"BOY! GET TO WORK!" Draco hears Vernon yell from down the stairs.
"Yes, sir," Harry says timidly. Draco internally shutters, hearing him call such a wicked man 'sir.'
He tip-toes down the staircase and is greeted by Harry already making eggs and bacon. He smiles at the warm and inviting smell of Harry's delightful cooking.
"Morning, Harry. Need help?" Draco asks as he approaches the kitchen. Vernon glares at him, but Draco pretends not to notice.
"He doesn't need help, freak!"
"I didn't ask you," Draco says coldly.
Vernon stomps away with a huff, his face purple from irritation (and a wandless jinx that Draco cast. But he doesn't know that.)
Draco has become extremely good at casting wandless and wordless magic. He's gotten a ton of practice, staying with the Dursleys. He already had a bit of experience, fixing up injuries inflicted upon the house elves and he hasn't quite mastered healing spells wandless or wordlessly, so he can't heal Harry's injuries, without a wand.
Vernon, being the little bitch he is, took Draco's wand after finding out he's been healing Harry behind his back but Draco has done everything he can to help the boy; he's wandlessly transfigured things into food for Harry, so he doesn't starve to death and he's constantly stayed up all night to place calming spells on Harry in his sleep but Draco still doesn't feel it is enough to make up for what he's done to Harry in his past.
He used to be Harry's biggest bully. How can he forgive Draco after everything he's done to him? Draco has taken everything out on Harry. He doesn't deserve a second chance, yet he got one.
"Can you pass me the cheese?" Harry says, interrupting his train of thought.
"Mhm," Draco nods and walks over to the fridge to get the cheese.
"Thanks," Harry says awkwardly.
". . . So, how are we gonna do it?" Draco whispers, making Harry furrow his eyebrows.
"Do what?"
He smirks, "Get revenge."
"No. Do you want to get me killed?"
"No, I wanna get them killed,"
"You are not killing anybody!" Harry grunts, looking over his shoulder in hopes that Vernon isn't listening to their concerning conversation.
Draco sighs, "Fine. I won't kill them, but they'll feel a great deal of pain."
"Don't, Draco. Then they'll take it out on me," Harry says strictly.
"Then we'll run away together."
"You're supposed to be in hiding! The whole reason we're here is that it's safe from Voldemort! However bad you may think the Dursleys are, I can assure you that Voldemort is worse."
Draco groans, "But we won't run into Voldemort. He is probably in hiding."
"He also wants to kill me!"
"So do the Dursleys!"
"No, they don't. They want to torment me. There's a difference," Harry says.
"How is it that you can face Voldemort like what, four times, but you can't face your relatives?"
"It wasn't harm-free, Draco. I don't remember the first time all that well, but my parents died. I should have died... The second time, I almost got my friends killed. Third, he was feeding off of someone else. He wasn't even actually there. He was. . . I can't even describe it. It was like . . . he was almost like a ghost. But he was younger. And this last time, he killed someone. He almost killed me! He cast the killing curse. The only reason I could deflect it was because of my parents."
"Your parents?"
"They held him off for me, so I could return to safety."
"You saw your parents?"
"They saved me."
"BOY! I'M STARVING!" Yells Vernon.
"Sorry, sir," Harry says, bringing a plate of food toward him.
Vernon grumbles, "What took you so bloody long?!"
"Sorry, I was distracted, sir."
Vernon glares at him for a few seconds, "Did you sneak food, boy?"
"No, sir."
"I don't believe you, boy! You don't deserve food!"
"I know, I don't deserve it. That's why I didn't, sir," Harry's voice is shaky and fear is very apparent in his eyes. Draco's heart shatters as he hears his words. He doesn't think he deserves to eat.
"You're lying! You took food, and you know it!" Vernon yells, standing up and grabbing Harry by the ear.
"No! I'm telling the truth, sir! Please!" Harry begs, tears welling in his empty eyes.
"You don't deserve anything, boy! I'm gonna teach you a lesson!"
"Please, don't," Harry whispers.
Draco watches this, rage coursing through his blood. How dare he even think of hurting Harry, "You let go of him, you ugly pig!"
Vernon turns around and looks Draco dead in the eyes, "What did you just call me?"
"I called you what you are. You're a pathetic monster of a human who is abusing Harry!" Draco says, his fists clenching.
"You have no right to come into my house and question my parenting!" Vernon yells.
"Abusing isn't parenting," Draco says, feeling very confident. Who does this fucktard think he is?
Vernon chews on his lip and his face turns an even brighter shade of purple, if that's even possible, "Upstairs! Now, freak!"
"I won't leave until you let go of Harry," Draco says crossly.
Vernon narrows his eyes at Draco, before he begrudgingly releases Harry from his demanding grip, "You'll regret this!"
Draco grabs hold of Harry's scrawny wrist. He can feel the bones sticking out. Harry's starving. He's malnourished. If he doesn't eat soon, he'll die. Harry lets out a strained whimper as Draco leads him up the stairs.
"It's okay, Harry . . . you're safe," Draco says softly. He doesn't respond, just crumbles to the floor, arms wrapped protectively over his knees. His breathing becomes uneven as he rocks himself back and forth on the ground and Draco has no idea what to do. Harry has become trapped in his mind.
He crouches down on the ground next to Harry and watches as he falls apart right before his eyes. No matter how much Draco wants to take all of his pain, he can't. There is nothing he could to make Harry's pain go away. He is useless. Harry sobs into his arms and Draco places his hand under Harry's chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.
"Hey, try to breathe, okay?" Draco says gently, brushing the matted hair out of Harry's eyes.
He takes sharp, jagged gasps for air, his legs shaking uncontrollably as he breathes in reflexively. After after a few minutes, Harry's breathing slows.
Draco lets go of his hand and slowly pulls him into a hug, "You're safe, Harry. You'll always be safe, as long as I'm here."
Harry pulls back and looks into Draco's gray eyes, "Thanks."
Draco hesitates for a moment, "Take off your shirt."
Harry pales and tears fill his green eyes. He protectively wraps his gaunt arms around his torso, "Why?"
"I'm gonna try to help you," Draco says calmly.
"You already helped me," Harry argues.
"You're still injured. Take your shirt off, I need to see the damage," Draco says, this time a bit sternly.
Harry winces but doesn't back down, "I'm not injured. I'm completely fine."
"I'll bet you have at least a broken rib," Draco says.
"Well, I don't."
Draco raises an eyebrow, "Only one way to find out."
Harry's lips quiver, but he slowly nods. Draco can see the panic in his bloodshot eyes, "Just don't . . . touch me, please."
Draco furrows his eyebrows, "If your health is at risk, I'm going to have to touch you to heal you."
Harry's jaw tightens and he almost looks . . . Scared. He looks more frightened than when Vernon was practically ripping his ear off and Draco's stomach turns in knots when he notices that Harry has started to cower away from him.
"Harry, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to help you heal so you can get better but I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with. You are in control. It is your choice to take your shirt off, not mine. I'm not going to force you, by any means. I just want to make sure you're safe . . . I'm worried about you."
Harry relaxes and looks into Draco's soft eyes, the fear gone, "Okay, I trust you."
"I'm proud of you, Harry. Take your time," Draco says warmly.
Harry slowly inhales and after a few seconds, he reluctantly lifts his shirt. The entire length of his torso is covered in yellow and green bruises. Draco can't help but tighten his fists at the sight. How could someone be so cruel? How could someone let Harry live here? Suggest others stay as well? Harry's ribs are Protruding, with reddish-purple rash-like stains all along them. They're broken, like him. Every single rib is fractured and it is clear that Harry hasn't eaten in at least a week. His skin is almost yellow, even in the rare spots that don't have bruising.
Then Draco takes notice of how hollow his face is, how empty his eyes are, and the way his collarbone sticks out of his chest. The way he can see every bone in his body peaking out of his almost translucent skin. He looks drained.
Does he always look this way when he comes back to Hogwarts? How has he not noticed how frail he is after the summer? How has he not seen it before? It is so fucking clear, looking back. The way he would cower at noise or tight spaces. The way his clothes never fit right. Or even the fact that he always puts others before himself.
Because he is never first.
"Merlin," Draco whispers in complete bewilderment.
Harry looks down, ashamed, "It's pretty bad, isn't it?"
"How . . . have I not . . . noticed before? Am I that oblivious?" Draco asks, horrified.
"I use glamors. I'm usually able to get back to a healthy weight by halfway through the year. I haven't told anyone of . . . how they treat me but I do think that my friends suspect something . . . off," Harry says with a small grimace.
Draco closes his eyes for a moment, trying not to get stuck in his memories of the house elves. The way they were battered and beaten, just like Harry is now. His mum . . . he shakes his head.
"I'm going to try to heal you, Harry. I know healing charms, but I've never done them endlessly."
"Wait . . . you can do wandless?" Harry asks, very interested all of a sudden.
Draco rolls his eyes, "Yes, I've been doing wandless this whole time, aside from when I healed your hand but Vernon took my wand, fucking bitch. Anyway, I've been able to do wandless for a few years, now, without even realizing it. Sometimes I don't even have a spell in mind. But I haven't started working on the ability since last year," Draco explains as some of the bruises fade away from Harry's torso. It's taking a lot of energy, but he's sorta able to get rid of the bruising, though it's very difficult without the use of a wand. He moves onto Harry's nose, which is much more strenuous than the bruises.
"And how long have you used healing spells?" Asks Harry.
"Two years. Ever since my father started . . ." He trails off, feeling a lump forming in his throat.
"You don't have to talk," Harry whispers, and Draco is instantly calmed. He doesn't need Harry to know his trauma or how weak he is . . . at least not while Draco's supposed to be protecting him.
"Thanks," he says, and then goes for the broken ribs. He puts every bit of strength he has into fixing Harry. He focuses on only one thing, getting him better but no matter how concentrated he is, he's too weak. He's been endlessly casting spells for several weeks and is not used to using this much strength. He's too burnt out; he's put too much energy into it. But he keeps trying. He holds onto the fragment of hope that his care for Harry will pull him through. That he will overcome this stupid weakness. But he can't.
He tries for what seems like hours, but it's too much. He feels his mind start to go fade in and out of conscious thought and feels his vision blur. He can hear Harry's voice calling to him from a far distance, but he can't seem to follow the voice. He becomes trapped in his memories.
(A/N: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE AND TORTURE)
Draco can smell the alcohol on Lucius' breath as he looks into his cold, drunken eyes. Lucius grins maliciously when he notices how petrified he is, curled up in a ball on the dungeon floor.
He is scared but he doesn't dare try to move. He doesn't dare try to run off, or his punishment will be worse.
"Look at me, squib," Lucius demands. He loves calling Draco a squib because squids are weak and so is Draco.
He tries to look up at his abuser but his muscles are too weak after being cursed and locked down there for so long.
He finds himself fading in and out of consciousness as Lucius' anger rises but Draco has little to no comprehension as to what is happening. He's too frail and tired to pay attention.
Lucius casts a stinging jinx at him and Draco slowly lifts his head to look at him, "You're so pathetic."
Draco looks down, ashamed.
"What are you, squib?"
"I'm pathetic."
Lucius sneers, "And why are you pathetic?"
"Because I lost to Griffindor," Draco says, tears welling in his eyes.
"And what will happen to your dear mother if you don't win the house cup next year?" Lucius prompts.
"The same fate as the house elves."
"Yes, correct. Maybe you aren't as stupid as I thought, squib. Daisy! Come here!"
A small house elf marches happily toward Lucius, a wide grin on her face, "Yes, Master Lucius?"
"Kneel."
The house elf obliges, the beaming grin slowly starting to fade.
"CRUCIO!" Lucius screams, and the house-elf shrieks and squirms.
Draco swallows down the lump in his throat as he watches Lucius torture the house elf. He feels horrible. He should stop it. He should step in. It's his fault the elf is in pain in the first place, he should at least step in and stop the abuse from getting any worse.
"SANGIOUS VACUOUS!"
Draco quickly learns that the unfamiliar spell that Lucius just cast is extremely dark as the house elf deflates. She crinkles and shrinks up as if she's soaked in water for too long. At first, Draco thinks that she is aging rapidly, but he then notices the way her skin is clinging to her bones.
What is normally a murky gray color, is now a pale white. The house-elf continues to scream, as every bit of blood drains from her body. Literally.
(End of Major TW. Basically, it is a flashback to what happened to Daisy, the house elf that has been mentioned a few times. Lucious is angry with Draco for not winning at Quidditch, and so, to punish him, he tortures the elf in front of him by casting a dark spell on her that drains all of the blood from her body.)
Draco suddenly sits up, instantly feeling his heart beating ten times faster than normal. It's been a long time since he had that dream. He still regrets not being able to save poor Daisy. She was his favorite house elf and they were even on a first-name basis.
She respected the fact that he was uncomfortable with her calling him 'master' or 'sir.' They were friends, and Lucius killed her. If only he had won the house cup that year, maybe then he'd still have his beloved friend.
Draco used to blame Harry for being so bloody good at Quidditch, but now he's come to terms with the fact that Lucius is just a dick.
During the entirety of the third year, Lucius sent him letters about Quidditch . . . and what would happen if he lost. He was terrified.
He'd seen Lucius beat his mother before but he'd never seen her under the Cruciatus curse. He could handle hearing house elves scream without breaking down, but not his mother. Never his mother.
Draco started trying in every way imaginable to get out of Quidditch so he could buy his mother more time. He even almost got an innocent Hippogriff murdered because of his cowardliness. Everyone just thought he was being an arsehole, which is better than he was; a failure.
"Draco, are you okay?" Asks Harry, who is sitting beside him. Draco notices that he's been moved to his bed.
"What happened?"
"You blacked out. I think you put too much energy into healing me. I'm fine, now."
"Are you sure?" Draco says as he glances up at Harry, who indeed, does look better than he did before, still dangerously thin and his face is still hollow, but most of his bruising has gone. He looks to be in a lot less pain.
"Yeah . . . thanks. You should be a healer."
"I've thought about it . . . but no. There's too much trauma associated with it," Draco says.
"Oh," says Harry, running his hand through his hair, which has grown thin and stringy from malnourishment.
"I had to learn it."
"Why?"
"House Elves," Draco says stiffly and Harry seems to understand.
"I know Dobby was . . . mistreated," Harry whispers.
"He was one of the better ones," Draco says, wincing.
"Really?"
"Yeah, my father's a dick."
"He is," Harry agrees.
"How long was I out?" He asks, sitting up on his elbows to look at Harry more carefully.
"Only a few hours. I got my chores done."
"Oh, what do you usually do after chores?"
Harry smirks, "Pretend I don't exist."
"Okay," he snorts, "what do you do?"
"No, that's really in my schedule. Vernon tells me to do that quite often," Harry laughs. Weirdly, they almost find humor in this.
"Can I pretend I don't exist with you? " Draco asks.
Harry shrugs, "I don't see why not."