elizabeth awoke the next morning with the sounds of rain and thunder still humming in her ears. the vivid, stormy dreams she had the night before had faded away with the first rays of light, but they still lingered in the back of her mind like a forgotten song. the soft morning glow filtered through the curtains as she lay in bed, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. she had slept soundly despite all the chaos of the night before, but her thoughts couldn't help but drift back to those dreams that had left her feeling so unsettled.
she couldn't remember what it was. she just remembered running. running until her lungs burned, to the point where she forced herself to wake up.
she's often a curious person
but she didn't want to stick around and find out what was to happen to her.
elizabeth shook the eerie feeling off and got out of bed. it was still drizzling outside. she had a pounding headache (presumably from walking around in the heavy rain), and was planning to take it easy. after she brushed her teeth, got dressed, and braided her hair, she headed to the kitchen to get started on breakfast.
she began to scramble some eggs, and when she believed they were done cooking, she scraped them onto her plate.
she glanced at the clock, which read 8:09 am. that was a big surprise, because during the summer elizabeth was never up before one in the afternoon. she took a bite of her eggs and immediately spit it out.
it had the consistency of jelly.
elizabeth couldn't cook to save her life.
after tossing her abomination of a meal into the trash, she went to her mother's room, who was sleeping after a long night shift.
"mama," elizabeth whispered, shaking her shoulder gently. when she didn't stir or turn, elizabeth pulled the blanket over her and kissed her forehead. two had stayed over at the curtis house, and darry drove her home the night before.
she called the curtis house. no answer, everyone was more than likely to be asleep. she glanced out of the window, seeing that the rain finally cleared up and the sky was just dismal, in the most calming way possible. like the feeling you have after holding in your tears for so long, and finally letting it out; no longer feeling full of the suffocating lodged in your stomach, chest, and throat. she scribbled a note and left it on her mom's nightstand before pocketing a few coins and heading out to the dingo.
elizabeth had a tendency to play with random things around her. if she didn't, she would often twiddle with her hair or mess with her hands. in this case, her victim of fidgeting was a stick. she dragged it along the sides of buildings, the rough scraping sounding all too familiar, like a car going over coarse gravel. all that's missing is the roar of a mustang's engine.
not that she wanted to hear one.
it only just occurred to her that she was walking alone. elizabeth wasn't itching to get jumped. she'd seen what socs have done to other greasers, and a thirteen year old girl like herself surely wouldn't be able to hold any socs off. thankfully, it was early in the morning on a sunday, and most of the teenagers in town were sleeping off hangovers.
as she continued her walk around, killing some time before she actually made it to the dingo, elizabeth looked up at the sky and noticed the light grey color. it was a stark contrast from the dark and threatening clouds of the previous night. it seemed like the rain had left, but there was still a lingering sense of melancholy in the air.
elizabeth continued to drag the stick along the buildings, thinking about everything that had happened the night before. she was still haunted by the vague and unsettling dreams she had, and her head was pounding from the rain. she was alone in a town filled with socs and greasers, and for some reason, she couldn't stop thinking about ponyboy and how he had called her "echo". he was the main one who calls her that, but the rest of the gang uses it occasionally, or as an adjective to describe the girl. it was a strange name, but something about it resonated with her. like it was something she could relate to, even if she didn't completely understand it yet.
she didn't like the feeling of not understanding.
it made her feel like she didn't have any sense of control, not that she had much to begin with.
she sat in a booth in the corner of the dingo, staring outside, towards the sky as she patiently waited for her server.
the sun's warming rays timidly peeked through the puffs of bubbling raindrops that were hanging on, refusing to descend from the sky.
tears not heavy enough to fall.
tears too light, because the turmoil is simply not great enough. why cry when the reason is too small?
besides, deferential ladies don't cry.
a voice broke through her thoughts. "excuse me, miss, are you ready to order?" a girl, only a couple of years older than her, was standing there, with a notepad and pen. she was pretty, with china blue eyes and blonde hair. her name tag read "sandy." she was like a life-sized doll.
to be honest, elizabeth was intimidated.
"oh, yeah, could i, uh, could i have some, uh, pancakes? that'll be all." elizabeth stumbled over her words, not used to speaking for herself, especially not to or around strangers. usually, she'd have someone to order her food so she wouldn't have to.
"what kind would you like, sweetheart? we have others besides the standard kind." sandy smiled warmly at elizabeth, "we have strawberry, blueberry, chocolate chip, confetti..."
"anything but blueberry," elizabeth said, a little too quickly. she hated blueberries. they were always either too sour, too mushy, or grainy feeling. or, all of the above. "please," she added quietly.
"you hate blueberries too, huh?"
"indeed i do," elizabeth laughed softly.
sandy gave her a twinkling, genuine smile. "i'll be right back with your food, sweetie."
elizabeth went back to gazing out the window, not particularly looking at anything, but just thinking. what about, she wouldn't be able to tell you, because one thing in her mind quickly led to another, so she wasn't intensely focused, but just busying her mind.
after a few more minutes of pure reverie and inattention, her food arrived. "thank you, ma'am."
"no need for the formalities, call me sandy," she laughed as she walked away.
elizabeth placed two of the pancakes to the side to put in a to-go box later. she began cutting one up delicately so she didn't accidentally shred it to pieces in the process (which usually happened when she made her own, but that could've just been because of the fact that they were undercooked).
without drizzling any syrup onto the triangular slice, she took a bite. she never cared for syrup. it was irritatingly tenacious, and couldn't just be swiped away with a napkin. at times, it was sickeningly sweet. other times, it was, to some degree, tolerable. slowly, her headache started to slip away.
this wasn't one of those times.
when elizabeth was done she went back to daydreaming, her mind jumping from one thought to another, like how frogs jump from lily pad to lily pad, getting further and further away from the one they were just on, leaving it like it was nothing.
because it was nothing.
her thoughts were once again interrupted when sandy slid in the booth across from her.
"what if your boss catches you sitting here while on the clock?" elizabeth asked bluntly.
"well, i only work the morning shift," sandy said, taking a sip of her coffee, "it's almost noon." she looked at elizabeth and grinned. "so, tell me, if you don't mind my asking, why are you here alone? you know how dangerous that can be, especially when you're not with someone."
"i can't really cook," elizabeth said simply. she found it odd that a stranger was making an attempt at conversing with her, let alone worrying about her well-being. "and i thought that, uh, since it's early in the morning, on a sunday, i didn't think any socs would be on this side of town fixing to beat up any greasers." she paused, twiddling her thumbs, and avoiding eye contact, she gestured to the pancakes she set aside earlier. "could i also take this to-go?"
sandy paused, noticing her refusal to glance up at her. "...yeah. give me a second, honey." she came back after about a minute with the to-go box. "there ya go," she smiled heartily once again.
"okay, i'd best be going. i don't want to keep this booth occupied." elizabeth stood up and placed a dollar and 78 cents on the table. "keep the change."
"wait, what's the rush? i can walk you home, if you'd like. or you could come over. i don't mind." sandy suggested, pocketing her tip. "but it's not safe for a nice girl like you to be walkin' by your lonesome."
elizabeth considered this for a moment. she knew the gang was up well past midnight, except darry, who had work, and they like to sleep in. besides, it would be nice to escape from their endless taunting. "okay. but can i take my pancakes home first?"
"yeah, of course."
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the walk home was awkward. elizabeth wanted to stare at her shoes the whole time, but that would lead to poor posture.
mama has good posture, she thought.
she put the to-go box in the fridge and left a paper next to it saying they were for her mother.
she didn't know when two-bit would be home, and she didn't want him eating what wasn't his. and we all know two would eat anything that's readily available.
the two girls began to head to sandy's house, which wasn't too far from the mathews'.
sandy decided to break the silence. "you never told me your name. or anything, really. what grade are you going to? im gonna be a freshman in high school." they trudged along the sidewalk.
elizabeth was quick to do the math. "so, you're fifteen? or fourteen," sandy nodded before elizabeth continued, "my name's elizabeth. im thirteen. gonna be in the eighth grade. i have two friends that are gonna sophomores, sodapop and steve and johnny. johnny doesn't think school is that bad, but soda says he hates school cause he's dumb. but i dont think he's dumb. he's one of the smartest people i know." elizabeth stopped talking, realizing she said too much.
"i know those two, i've had classes with them before. me and soda are friends. we're not the closest, but friends nevertheless." she shrugged, "i dunno, i don't hang around those two that often." they walked for a few more seconds in silence. "did i tell you i have a sister? she's ten years old. i feel like you'd like her," sandy decided, taking her keys out of her pocket and unlocking her front door. "home sweet home," she laughed.
elizabeth stepped in. it was obviously a greaser's house, but the inside was nice and very homely. if it weren't for the condition of the outside or it's small size, it could be mistaken for a middle-class or even soc's house.
"sandy? is that you?" a little girl called from the hallway. she ran into the living room, but stopped in her tracks once she saw elizabeth. "who are you?"
"elizabeth," she said as she maintained eye contact with the younger girl. for some reason unknown, it wasn't difficult to hold this gaze. although sandy's sister didn't smile, her aura was almost welcoming, like the arms of a grandmother. she was definitely sandy's sister, with blonde hair and striking blue eyes. the only difference was the way they presented themselves. sandy was dressed quite femininely, but her sister didn't seem to care about her image. elizabeth admired that.
the girl crossed her arms. "hm. you're pretty." she smiled brightly. "i'm rose golding. i'd love to chat but i can't stick around. i have... things to do." and with that, she turned around and went back to her room.
elizabeth looked at sandy with confusion, to which sandy just laughed. "i know, right? c'mon."
she followed her into sandy's room, which was neatly decorated, themed a light gray tone, with occasional sprinkles of other colors within her furniture and possessions. they both sat down on her bed.
elizabeth picked at the last of her remaining nail polish. it never lasted very long, for as soon as they were dry, she would always scratch the color away. not intentionally, it was just a habit she couldn't seem to shake off.
"so," sandy sighed with a smile, "what do you wanna do?"
"can we paint our nails?" she asked enthusiastically, but looked down at sandy's hands, whose fingertips were perfectly painted. "never mind," she mumbled, feeling her cheeks go red."
"no, it's okay, i can paint yours. i love doing that kinda stuff, but rose never lets me. blue, purple, orange, or white?" elizabeth pointed to the white bottle. "good choice, that way it won't clash with your cute yellow top ya have there, or anything really." she leaned down and began to paint elizabeth's fingertips carefully. "ya wanna know the secret to painting nails?"
"what?" elizabeth asked with a smile on her face. she wasn't feeling so uncomfortable with sandy anymore.
sandy sat up, grinning ear to ear. "relax," she said simply." if you're too tense, your hand won't have the freedom it needs to make the strokes and stuff. it'll end up all blotchy, and inconsistent; thick in some places, and thin in the others. don't focus on doing it perfect when you could easily clean it up."
while waiting for her nails to dry, the two girls were sitting against the headboard, making small talk to get to know each other better.
"rose is truly a character. it's like the world hasn't affected her yet as it did to so many others when they were her age. hell, when i was ten, i was worried about how i was gonna get to school without bein' jumped. but she just seems... untouched. like god decided she was an exemption to being affected by what the world does." she turned to face elizabeth. "do you have any siblings?"
elizabeth smiled softly. "one. he's called two-bit. he can be a real jerk sometimes, and he likes to pretend that he's actually responsible when it comes to me," she joked, "but he's a good person. i can tell he mostly does things out of love."
sandy smiled tenderly. "i think it's great that you realize that, elizabeth. i always used to think my dad was strict cause he hated me, but i realized far too late that he did it cause he wanted what was best for me." sandy paused, staring at the wall.
elizabeth immediately thought about ponyboy and darry, and how ever since their parents died in an auto wreck around two months back, their relationship was pretty rocky. she made a mental note to tell ponyboy that darry only did it out of love. he might not have been the best at showing it, but he was only 18, after all.
"and now," sandy continued, "our relationship is broken. it's not that we don't get along, or that we don't love each other, but it's not as a relationship between a man and his daughter should be."
how should a relationship between a girl and her dad be?
in elizabeth's eyes, it was always simple. a dad loves his daughter and watches her grow up.
but her dad did neither.
rose opened the door and walked into the room as if she owned the place. she went and sat in the chair at sandy's desk.
"rose, what did i tell you about this?" sandy asked wearily.
rose sighed and silently got up from the chair, left the room, closing the door behind her, and knocked. "may i come in?" her muffled voice requested from the other side.
"yeah, come on in, rose," sandy grinned, an airy laugh escaping her lips.
"what are you guys doing?" rose inquired, climbing on top of the bed.
"i painted elizabeth's nails and now we're just talking," sandy explained to her younger sister.
rose's face didn't change. she just looked down at elizabeth's hands. "can you do mine, dee-dee?"
sandy sat up straight, her eyebrows raised. "i thought you didn't like when i painted your nails," she pondered, fixing rose's overalls, placing the strap back over her shoulder.
"i don't, but you painted elizabeth's—can i call you libby? you painted libby's nails and now i want you to paint mine. besides, we're changing things around here, right? i want my nails painted, for once; and you have a friend... for once." rose looked up and grinned cheekily at her sister.
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laughter. chuckling. whooping. christ, these boys were so loud. it was only four in the afternoon, and two-bit was sipping on a beer.
why did a sixteen year old feel the need to drink so much?
elizabeth looked down at her hands, resisting the urge to pick at the nail polish. she could gaze at them forever, but she couldn't, because as of now, her reality was around four boys: dally, soda, steve, and two. she felt the couch sink next to her.
"that looks real pretty, since when did you learn how to do that?" soda asked genuinely.
"i didn't," elizabeth answered with a gentle smile, "sandy golding painted them for me."
"well that's no surprise there, sandy presents herself well. she looks like she digs beauty and stuff. but since when do you guys hang? she's in my grade, and we don't even talk that often."
"since today," elizabeth replied, "she's real nice. and she's smart, too. you should talk to her more."
"eh, i dunno. having to talk to you is draining enough, honey," he chuckled as he nudged her side playfully.
"then don't talk to me," elizabeth joked back, standing up from the couch and sitting in darry's armchair. she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, trying to drown out the sound while ignoring the echoes going off in her head like fireworks on new year's.
what does it mean, exactly, to be a lady?
elizabeth was always taught that there's a difference between a girl and a lady. and not just age, either. it's a mindset. and at this rate, she would never be a lady. she and her mind were simply too immature, but then again, who could blame her? she was only thirteen years old.
she put her leg up on the chair and rested her chin on her knee, absorbing her surroundings. she watched two-bit, his eyes fixated on the screen, invested in whatever it was that was on. elizabeth couldn't be bothered to find out. she noticed how dally took a drag on his cigarette, clouding the room with the gray fumes (which he would never do if darry were home), dally looked content to say the least, unrestrained by any means of distress. but of course, he also looked tense, cause when was dallas winston ever worry free?
cigarettes are to greasers as rain is to elizabeth mathews.
steve sat down next to her, on the armrest.
"what's up, betty? why ya so quiet?" he put his arm on her head, using her as his own armrest.
elizabeth shrugged, not moving from her current position. "when have i ever been not quiet?"
steve laughed. "okay, you gotta point there. but why're you isolated from everyone? usually you'd be, well, at least involved."
she pushed his arm off of her head. "i don't feel like it right now, steve, y'all are too loud. i'm tryna think. you wouldn't know anything about that."
he scoffed and flipped the collar of his jean jacket up. "well, now, there's no need to get wise with me, echo. i was just wonderin', is all." he looked down at her, and noticed she was picking at her fingers absentmindedly. he softly smacked her hand away. "stop doin' that."
elizabeth hadn't even realized she was doing this self-destructive behavior, she just needed something to mess with.
that's what nail polish is for.
but she didn't wanna ruin it.
she looked up at him. "sorry," she said quietly, and he smiled at her reassuringly. in his eyes, she had no reason to apologize. in her eyes, she had every reason to.
"you can sit down now," she said before getting up and going into ponyboy and soda's shared room. ponyboy was sitting on his bed, reading. she shut the door quietly behind her. "hey, pony," she said, sitting next to him.
he shut his book and turned to face her. "hey, echo, how're you feeling?" he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.
"stop, you're gonna mess up my bangs," she giggled, swatting his hand away playfully. "but i feel better, thanks for asking. do you know what you're gonna do for your birthday? it's in like, three days. you're finally gonna be twelve," she gushed.
"shoot," pony shrugged, "i'm not gonna feel any different. anyway, we're probably gonna do the same thing as any other year. go out to the dingo or see a movie or somethin'."
"and any other year, we end up getting kicked out and having to celebrate here." elizabeth paused, recognizing the familiar and gentle tapping of the minuscule droplets of water hitting the house. "let's hope the rain doesn't ruin anything," she sighed.
"it'll clear up," he assured, "the heavier rain is done with, anyway."
the rain creates a certain ambience ; brings a sense of peace.
"hm," elizabeth hummed, "i like it. the rain."
"yeah, i noticed," ponyboy smiled softly, "i'll never understand your obsession with it, though."
"it's not an obsession," she argued, "it's more of a... fascination. a desire to know more, ya know? i feel like there's a deeper meaning behind it. besides, this is all very hypocritical of you, mr. sunset."
pony raised his hands in defense. "have you seen them? they're beautiful. rain is just... water," he said plainly.
"whatever," elizabeth said, hitting his face with a pillow. "you wouldn't understand, you're too young," she said with mock superiority.
"what? echo, you're not even two years older than me!" he retorted.
"jeez, learn to take a joke."
"learn to make them. sometimes, i wonder how you're even two-bit's sister. at least i know his jokes are meant to be jokes," his voice was quite taunting.
"yeah, well, i struggle to believe you're darry's brother, with how scatterbrained you can be, or that you're even related to soda, cause you have no charm whatsoever."
ponyboy merely laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "do you, now?"
elizabeth nodded. "darry loves you," she commented, remembering her conversation with sandy, "he just ain't the best at showin' it. you know how you said your relationship with him used to be great? well, i'm sure it'll go back to that soon, once he gets the hang of taking care of you and soda." ponyboy scoffed. "i'm serious, pone! put yourself in darry's shoes for once. if you were an eighteen year old, trying to take care of a twelve and fourteen year old, just imagine how stressful that is. he's trying, pony, y'know why? because he loves you." she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
he looked down at their hands and hummed. "yeah, i guess so. but he likes soda more," he argued.
"no, he just..." she trailed off, thinking about the best way to word it, "he only worries about you more, i think. soda spends more time going out, and you spend time indoors, so darry already knows he can handle himself. i think with you, he worries that you're not gonna be protected from socs and stuff. it's just cause you're the baby of the family, the whole gang even."
"that makes sense. but i think he's better at being a brother than being a dad," he was half joking, half serious.
elizabeth grinned wholeheartedly and stared at the ceiling. after a comfortable moment of silence, she spoke up. "you know, you're probably my favorite person out of everyone in the gang."
ponyboy's eyes lit up. "you really mean it?"
she smiled. "I do."