๐—š๐—ฅ๐—ช๐—ฅ [twst x reader]

By tally-ho3

107K 6.1K 6.1K

(๐˜/๐) He's just the biggest asshole ever ๐‚๐€๐“๐„๐‘ You're not explaining what he did... (๐˜/๐) He breat... More

[๐—ฃ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง ๐—ข๐—ก๐—˜: ๐—ฆ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ฆ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜„๐˜๐˜†!]
1. the villain origin story
2. fighting children and animals
3. committing adultery with other men?!
4. rizzing up a rich ceo's son so he does all the work
5. gay tension.. a LOT of it
[๐—ฃ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง ๐—ง๐—ช๐—ข: ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—™๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—•๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€]
6. who are yuu?!
7. the muppets make me lose my mind
8. making a pity sandwich combo because chicken breasts aren't enough
9. i can't think of a title
10. making a move on someone out of your league (in both war and romancing)
12. playing dress-up but only theoretically
13. the disastrous lives of main characters
14. the rizz and the anti-rizz
15. not much has happened but all my friends almost died ig
16. Les I'm Miserables
17. newsflash: i have friends
[๐—ฃ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง ๐—ง๐—›๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—˜: *๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ๐˜€ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€*]
18. being sane as usual
19. hoes on me, left and right
20. hey i just met you, and this is crazy
21. fremenemanemonies
22. not a filler
23. dick chicken and lore
24. not a flashback
25. that was disgusting... do it again
26. siสณ? sโฑสณ? หขโฑสณ, are you thแต‰สณแต‰?
27. the dark reunion strikes again!
28. perchance
29. farewell's
30. B
[๐—ฃ๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ง ๐—ง๐—›๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—˜ ๐—”๐—ก๐—— ๐—” ๐—›๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—™: ๐—œ ๐—ช๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—” ๐—š๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—น ๐—œ๐—ป ๐—” ๐—ฉ๐—ถ๐—น๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐——๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—”๐—น๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜]
31. no one likes crowley
32. yappery

11. A Nefarious Goat Sells Tanks

3.3K 170 138
By tally-ho3


TAKE 3700 WORDS WOOOO



      "Why not?!"

"No! I said you're off for the week!"

At the asscrack of dawn I stood at the backdoor of Chicken Breast and defiantly stared at Xianniang. She did not give in easily— her arms were crossed and she fully engaged in the staring contest.

"You know there's too many customers for one person to handle," I argued, "Even if the numbers have dropped!"

Xianniang clicked her tongue, looking back into the kitchen. She seemed to weigh the odds until she gave in, ruffling her hair. "Fine. You have a point."

I sighed in relief, knowing how much it sucked to handle the work alone. Plus, I owe her. "You need to look into hiring more people, boss."

She groaned, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. "I know, I know. It's just that most of the people I've hired thought that this place was free real estate or something. You're the only one that actually worked— and Watson liked."

"Watson hates me," I said, eye twitching in a look of terror. "And all the past hires sucked because you were only hiring NRC students."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." She tossed an apron over to me. "I'll keep an eye out for some workers. Oh, and if any of your friends are looking for a job, you send them to me okay? I trust your judgement, at least."

"Okay," I said, wrapping the apron behind my back. "Will I be in the kitchen?"

"It's a free for all."

"Great."

Once the clock hit opening time, I headed out of the kitchen to unlock the front doors. Fortunately the lines have shrunk(definitely not due to Watson's reputation), and when I opened the doors people visibly flinched as Watson flew into the building from the outside and over all their heads. He landed on his perch next to the cashier, and began preening. I think there was blood on his break.

"Oh hey, the person from Neige's post is back!"

"Dude, the poutine was so good..."

"Is that the person in Neige's post?"

"Crap I think the bird just looked at me—"

"Please get in a line," I said loudly, wondering why I haven't hexed the muppet master yet.

Thankfully the crowds were less boisterous and did as they were told. I quickly went behind the counter, and took the first order.

The crowds for the morning came by easily, but once lunchtime started it got incessantly crowded inside the restaurant.

It wasn't anything I haven't seen before, however the people within the building seemed much more negative than the past. Tense air hung over the atmosphere of the fairly-loud building.

Or maybe I was just being paranoid.

Noting some dirty tables, I let Xianniang know that I was going to clean them before leaving the safety of the counter.

I felt eyes bore into my back as I put plates and cups into their trays and wiped tables. Nothing that was murmured around processed in my mind, but somehow my gut said that it was about me.

As I became more anxious about my surroundings, the building felt small and overcrowded— more than before. I forced myself to take deep breaths, warily strengthening my grip on the trays so I wouldn't drop them. Dropping them would lead to catastrophe— I could only imagine all the possible outcomes.

I vigilantly weaved through people in a rush to get back towards the counter, hoping to enter the kitchen to get a quick reset.

'This is like— no. I can't get anxious right now.' The counter came closer, thought it oddly longer. 'I still have to help Xianniang.'

A crashing sound snapped me out of my daze.

'That came from me, didn't it.' I thought in dread, looking towards the floor.

"I'm sorry!" A middle-aged woman exclaimed, "My elbow must've hit the tray.."

It took me a few shallow breaths to realize that I should reply to her worries.

"Don't worry ma'am, I'll clean it up." I said. Ah, maybe I should've smiled to ease her worries? Like how he eased mine.

I moved the trays into my dominant hand and quickly bent my knees to pick up a large shard, but winced as sharp edge cut at my palm. My face felt hot, and I was probably sweating as I hastily put the one shard onto the tray and stood up.

"Th— there is broken glass here." I shakily said to the quiet customers who glanced at the scene. "Please be careful as I grab, uhm, cleaning supplies."

The murmurs began again, and I felt my chest tighten. All the walls and people seemed too close for comfort, and I felt the something press against my body despite nothing being there. My wrist felt sore, my hair disheveled, and my eyelids heavy.

I flinched as the door to the kitchen opened too loudly, and tried to say an apology— but nothing but air fell past my lips.

"(Y/N)?" Xianniang said, pausing her cooking on the frying pan as I shakily placed the trays onto the closest surface. "Are you okay?"

I let out a choked breath at the question. My eyes began to burn, like the palm of my hand.

"I—" I shuddered, "I broke a glass. Middle... uhm, middle of the room. I'm s— sorry."

Her eyebrows knitted in worry, and she gently pulled me away from the door.

"It's alright." She said, her voice soft as she patted down my hair.

Not trusting myself to speak through the hitched uneven breaths, I gave a jerky nod. "Sorry..."

Knowing that I wouldn't want to sit, Xianniang helped me lean against a counter, and her eyes flicked towards the door.

"I can clean up the glass. Would you be okay if I left?"

Another nod.

Once she left, my mind spiralled with thoughts and memories, and I wanted nothing more than for it to be quiet. I wished that my mind could be blank; elevator music behind eyes.

But it wasn't.

With a frustrated huff and tears mixing with sweat, I bit my lip and took my phone out of my pocket.

I haven't seen him since the incident, so I'll have to help myself.

By making a distraction! 😁🫶‼️

And somehow, through all my apps, I blindly clicked at my messaging app. When the screen opened, a previous message from Chenya appeared.

▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌

ALCHEMI ALCHEMIVICH PINKER
sent you (4) messages!









10:55 AM

ALCHEMIVICH
no cause drinking apple juice on planes make ear go skriqqqkyywkqiwqlqk but apple won't???!2!{^?,^{?{?{?

ALCHEMIVICH
orange do sqiyihsidhwiq??? But not orange juice??????? why⁉️⁉️⁉️

11:00 AM

ALCHEMIVICH
i hate gerontocracies.

ALCHEMIVICH
the major problem within the system is that it's strongly correlated to the decline of a nation, especially while riding on the back of an underpaid and overworked young workforce, which has been demonstrated many times throughout history. currently, the people holding the most influence and political power in twisted wonderland are— on average— above the age of fifty and they abuse their power by making economic, political and social crises designed to only benefit them and their generation. this causes a sharp decline of wealth in younger generations at their most vulnerable moments and, because we live in a capitalist world which relies on continuous growth, it most certainly destroys nations while the elderly millionaires and billionaires continue to create their capitalist utopia.

11:10 AM

[(Y/N) is online!]

(Y/N)
Ate

[Alchemivich is online!]

ALCHEMIVICH
thank you, thank you 😼😼

ALCHEMIVICH
how are you on this fine evening comrade

(Y/N)
Well uh

(Y/N)
Hypothetically speaking

(Y/N)
What if I kinda panicked in the middle of chicken breast during a rush hour 😋 and broke down 😳

ALCHEMIVICH
😺

(Y/N)
🥳🤪😍🎉🎉🥳

ALCHEMIVICH
do you want me to come over

(Y/N)
Xianniang's with me rn but I'll knowing her she'll prolly call my dad to take me home

ALCHEMIVICH
okayyyyyy

ALCHEMIVICH
i'll visit after dinner anyway 👍

(Y/N)
Thank you

ALCHEMIVICH
don't worry about it

ALCHEMIVICH

(Y/N)
Xianniang is back, gtg

ALCHEMIVICH
okiiii

[Alchemivich is offline!]


▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌

I let out a snort, rubbing my eyes as I put the phone away. Xianniang entered the kitchen, placing a glass-shard-filled tray onto a nearby counter.

"Do you want me to call your dad to take you home?" She asked, "He should be on lunch break right now."

My eyes flickered towards the kitchen door, but I swallowed my feelings of guilt with a deep breath.

"Yes, please."

Dad came to Chicken Breast at the speed of light— he was at the back door only minutes after Xianniang sent a text. During the short wait, I insisted that I can handle myself and sat outside, sitting on the stairs to play some Amogus on my phone.

I wore a mask as we walked home, which was relatively quiet aside from a few questions he asked. Once home, he bandaged my hand, and I went into my room as soon as possible. Tossing away my mask, I fell onto my bed and grabbed the bear plushy. My hands played with the charm around it's neck.

"Do you want anything?" Dad asked, a worried look on his face. "Some food, or a drink?"

"I have my water bottle," I said, voice faint.

"Alright. Should I leave you alone?"

"Mhm."

"Let me know if you need anything, okay? I'll be downstairs." And with that, he closed the door to my room.

I faced the ceiling, and similar to the restaurant, I felt the walls come closer to my sides like a cage. Despite the comforting presence of the plushy I couldn't shake off the feeling.

With a huff, I stood up from my bed and walked towards the tall window of my room, looking outside and seeing cloudy skies. My heartbeat calmed as I  opened the window and stuck a hand out to feel if there was any rain yet.

'Raining? During my angsty moments?' I thought with a dry chuckle, feeling a drop fall onto my palm. Keeping the window open, I turned around to scan my room, and my eyes landed on the golden ring on my shelf. However, beside it was the messily-crafted silver necklace, with three jewels on it of all different colours. Walking across the room, I hesitated between the two before taking the necklace and walked back towards the window for comfort.

'I wonder how they're doing.' I thought, brushing my fingers across an amber jewel. The silver of the necklace was worn and stained, but I wasn't surprised— it was quite long ago. And they had questionable methods of gathering materials.

Snickering at the memory, I lifted the necklace to wrap it around my neck. The cold metal shocked my skin, but I was able to click the ends together. Unfortunately, the necklace was a little small around my neck, and fit almost like a choker. The lilac jewel in the center sat in the dip between my collarbones.

My eyes softened as I saw the reflection in a nearby mirror. Even the dark umber jewel shone brightly.

This time, it didn't feel all too bad.

▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌

(Y/N) SHANN
is typing...





[(Y/N) is online!]

(Y/N)
YALL

[Ace is online!]

[Deuce is online!]

(Y/N)
I got the guy's name 😼 ☝️

ACE
what is it 🙄

ACE
Btw Yuu is busy rn so she prolly won't be online

(Y/N)
Kk but like

(Y/N)
His name is Silver 😳

ACE
Silver????? 😨

ACE
Fakest ass name ever 💀

DEUCE
He didnt give a last name??

(Y/N)
...no

ACE
Oh hell naw

ACE
Next thing you know he gonna pull out a Ho-Oh

DEUCE
He aint an old man disguised with magic is he

(Y/N)
PO S I TIV E

(Y/N)
He called me pretty 😩🤪‼️🎉

ACE
YOUR ASS?

ACE
Block him.

(Y/N)
EXCUSE ME

DEUCE
Wait what do you look like again

ACE
I SHOWED YOU CATER'S POST DUMBASS

DEUCE
Ohh right right

DEUCE
Weren't you in that celebrity's too??

(Y/N)
😃 🔫 🎈

(Y/N)
We don't talk abt that post 👎

(Y/N)
I still need to hex him 👿👹 🐄

DEUCE
Why tho??

ACE
Ya isn't it a good thing you met up with a celebrity

(Y/N)
I'm the only worker at chicken breast aside from my boss and Watson

(Y/N)
So when a bunch of ppl stormed in there bcuz of that post that I directly asked him NOT to post it got rlly overwhelming 🤜

DEUCE
Average celebrity behaviour

DEUCE
Sorry that happened to you bro

ACE
Damn

(Y/N)
lol anygays I probably won't allowed to work for a while so I'll have a lot of free time

DEUCE
Wait

DEUCE
Are you free next week

(Y/N)
Yeah??????

DEUCE
ACE

ACE
WHAT

ACE
OH

ACE
OHHHJDBFKDJ

DEUCE
WE SHOULD ASK HOUSEWARDEN

ACE
YES

ACE
You do the asking tho 🙄

DEUCE
NO WERE ASKING TOGETHER MAN

ACE
FINE BUT I HAVE BASKETBALL SO ITLL HAVE TO BE LATER

ACE
AND WE'RE TAKING TREY WITH US

ACE
HE WOULD DEF HELP

(Y/N)
I'm confused 😃

DEUCE
Lunch just ended so we gtg now BUT LIKE

ACE
KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR MSGS

DEUCE
YEAH WHAT HE SAID

(Y/N)
Okay????

[Ace is offline!]

DEUCE
BYE (Y/N) TTYL

[Deuce is offline!]

[(Y/N) is offline!]


▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌

A few hours later...

▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌


SLABS OF TRAUMA ❤️
(6) new messages!








[Cater is online!]

CATER
ALARM ALARM ALARM‼️‼️‼️‼️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[Deuce is online!]

DEUCE
GUYS

CATER
WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO 🚨🚨

[Ace is online!]

ACE
WHAT.

DEUCE
Trey got hurt!

CATER
DADDYS DYING 🥺🙁💔💔‼️

[(Y/N) is online!]

ACE
WAIT REALLY?

(Y/N)
IS IT FATAL????????

ACE
Ok I'm heading over with Yuu we at Rams rn

ACE
@Trey Yuu's asking what song do you want to have played at your funeral?

[Trey is online!]

(Y/N)
Do you want to be turned into a bath bomb too?

ACE
ISTG IM NOT TRUSTING ANY BATHBOMBS YOU GIVE ME EVER

[Riddle is online!]

DEUCE
WAIT TREY'S GONNA DIE??

CATER
TREY YOU NEED TO CONTINUE THE BAKERY LINEAGE YOU CANT DIE HERE 🗣🗣

TREY
Guys I literally just fell down the stairs

TREY
Calm down

RIDDLE
Fell down the stairs and broke your ankle, received major bruising and a minor concussion, making yourself ineligible for the upcoming Magift tournament, yes.

TREY
...Okay, when you put it like that it sounds bad.

RIDDLE
And it was to protect me. I am to blame.

TREY
No, it's not your fault Riddle.

ACE
Holy shit just kiss already

[Ace was temporarily banned!]

ACE
Yuu says its "because of some rat hurting people for the magift tournament"

RIDDLE
Oh?

RIDDLE
I'd ike to know more

ACE
She says ya sure

(Y/N)
RIGHT MAGIFT YALL WILL BE COMPETING

(Y/N)
I'm cheering for y'all 😼🤝‼️‼️

CATER
Bro (let's go on a date)

DEUCE
Bro (thank you homie)

(Y/N)
Second to that Diasomnia guy, maybe third to my unit project partner tho

ACE
Bro (murderous)

CATER
STOP HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE

CATER
I THOUGHT HEARTSLABS OF TRAUMA WAS YOUR MAIN CHICK

(Y/N)
IDK HOW I KNOW SO MANY PPL EITHER 🤚

(Y/N)
Plus Chenya my main chick ya'll r just side hoes 🙄

CATER
*GASP*

CATER
I'M REPORTING THIS BEHAVIOUR TO THE CHURCH!!!! GET READY TO REPENT 🦶👹👹

TREY
Wait, your partner for a project is from NRC? It is school related?

(Y/N)
Ya he does like half online half in-person school

CATER
OMG

(Y/N)
idfk how that works so don't ask

CATER
You're friends with an Ignihyde student?!?! LIKE DID YOU GET PAST THE TEXTING PHASE????

(Y/N)
I think that was on his profile yeah

(Y/N)
And tfym 'texting phase'— like we go on call for the project n stuff yeah

CATER
SHEEEEEEEEEESH

TREY
Dang

TREY
Good job 👏

DEUCE
I've never seen one talk before...

CATER
What's that like????

(Y/N)
he kinda acts like the personification of mommy issues with a dash of autism

(Y/N)
But he gave me 500 madols over a sandwich so

CATER
HE WHAT

ACE
Oh seven you're a DISCORD KITTEN now 🤮

(Y/N)
I AM NOT

RIDDLE
What is a Discord kitten?

TREY
Please don't search it up. For your mental health.

(Y/N)
Are Ignihyde students that rare tho 💀 ya'll acting like I bagged a shiny pokemon or sumn

CATER
They usually don't talk to ppl 😃 like at all—

DEUCE
They're all shut-ins, I guess

TREY
They're very talented in magical technology though

TREY
Especially the dorm leader

(Y/N)
O

ACE
Btw me and Yuu are at the mirror rn

(Y/N)
Speaking of Yuu

(Y/N)
Why am I in this GC but she isn't

CATER
.

DEUCE
..we forgot

TREY
@Riddle

RIDDLE
Right.

[YUU was added to SLABS OF TRAUMA ❤️]

[Yuu is online!]

YUU
Why?

(Y/N)
HELLO 👋

CATER
It's for when you transfer into Heartslabyul! 🥰

RIDDLE
Cater is correct.

[YUU left SLABS OF TRAUMA ❤️]

(Y/N)
NO COME BACK WIFEY 🙏

[YUU was added to SLABS OF TRAUMA ❤️]

YUU
Fuck ya'll

[Yuu was temporarily banned!]

(Y/N)
She didn't even say hi back 😭

CATER
Riddle why can (Y/N) call Yuu wifey but I can't call Trey my boytoy twink malewife

RIDDLE
Declined.

[Cater was temporarily banned!]

(Y/N)
HAHA GET REKT

RIDDLE
You're on thin ice, too.

(Y/N)
Sir yes sir

TREY
You're already sounding like a Heartslabyul student

YUU
Get better soon.

DEUCE
WDYM YUU

ACE
CMON YOU LOVE US

RIDDLE
With these idiots, I can see why you would think that. However, I believe you would fit perfectly in the actual Heartslabyul, Yuu.

YUU
Declined 😊

YUU
I need to focus on this detective mission or wtvs

(Y/N)
Detective? 👁

YUU
Its from the stupid frick fracking crow principal istg one day ill choke him 

CATER
...Dang

DEUCE
Glad I'm not the principal

(Y/N)
...well I might not mind—

YUU
Get mental help.

ACE
(Y/N) THATS DISGUSTING

ACE
GET IN LINE.

YUU

ACE
HEY THATS NOT A FUCKING CAT

[Ace was temporarily banned!]

(Y/N)
DW WIFEY I GOTCHU

(Y/N)

CATER
MOVING ON

CATER
Does Chicken Breast do deliveries? 👁

CATER
Maybe Riddle could order some hehe 😼

RIDDLE
Why me, Cater?

CATER
I'm sure Trey would love a 'get better soon' gift 😳 🍗

ACE
I AGREE ☝️

RIDDLE
Really?

TREY
Don't fall for their tricks

TREY
They just want free food.

TREY
But does Chicken Breast do deliveries?

(Y/N)
I mean occasionally we did

(Y/N)
But it'll be difficult now with Neige's stupidass post— and I can't work for a while either

CATER
Odam did something happen????

(Y/N)
Lol i just panicked a bit and was reminded of my tragic protagonist backstory 😳

ACE
Tragic backstories are overrated 😐

TREY
Are you okay?

(Y/N)
meow

(Y/N)

YUU
How are you not in NRC? You probably have enough trauma to enroll.

(Y/N)
LMAO I REJECTED THE LETTER

DEUCE
YOU WHAT

ACE
DAMNNNNNNN

CATER
DUDE WHY

CATER
WE COULDVE BECOME THE BEST HEARTSLABYUL FRIEND GROUP EVER YK 

YUU
I'M NOT A FUCKING HEARTSLABITCH

[Yuu was temporarily banned!]

RIDDLE
Knowing my mental state back then, that would've been nearly impossible.

TREY
Yeah.. I don't think you're the type to fight your way into friendship

TREY
Unlike Yuu

YUU
Now that was a personal attack

YUU
I didn't ask to be in a school full of muscleheads who doesnt know sympathy even if it punches them in the face

YUU
Deuce is the only exception.

ACE
WHAT

TREY
Yeah that was coming

ACE
WHY HIM

YUU
Should I talk about the statue?

ACE
...nvm

DEUCE
Thanks Yuu 🤝

YUU
Np but I gotta leave chat rq

[Yuu is offline!]

(Y/N)
I'll just assume it's a good thing I rejected the letter.

(Y/N)
Plus isn't there like six dorms ya'll don't know which one I would've been put in

CATER
I mean, you sorta give scarabia vibes I guess???? But it still doesn't hit the mark

TREY
True.

TREY
Oh, Ace and Yuu just arrived

[Trey is offline!]

CATER
Let's get the party started‼️‼️

RIDDLE
Party? Is everyone crowding Trey?

RIDDLE
That is unacceptable, considering he had a concussion. I will be heading over immediately.

[Riddle is offline!]

(Y/N)
Dang he kinda strict

CATER
Yo, who is the Diasomnia guy you're cheating on us for?

ACE
They're delusional, he doesn't exist ✋

DEUCE
Def some pedo

(Y/N)
HE EXISTS STFU

(Y/N)
His name's Silver but he's a second year so idk if you know him

CATER
ohhh I know him!

CATER
he's the pretty one that always falls asleep!

ACE
Wait.

ACE
he actually exists?

DEUCE
THERES A PEDO IN THE SCHOOL??

CATER
CALM DOWN WTF DEUCE 😭

CATER
He's an actual student, thank you!!!!

(Y/N)
What did I ever do to be this untrusted by ya'll 💀

ACE
Tragic backstory

[Riddle is online!]

DEUCE
Yeah pretty much

RIDDLE
We're having a meeting over Trey's injury, so I'll have everyone get offline. Apologies, (Y/N)

(Y/N)
Nah don't worry about it g

(Y/N)
Bye ya'll 😘

CATER
BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Cater is offline!]

DEUCE
Bye!!

[Deuce is offline!]

ACE
Bye loser 🙄

ACE
Online school shut in 😐

RIDDLE
Ace will not be messaging you later.

ACE
WHAT

[Ace is offline!]

(Y/N)
LMAOO AIGHT

[Riddle is offline]

(Y/N)
Wait

(Y/N)
ACE DEUCE WHAT WAS THAT THING YOU WERE GONNA ASK ABT

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A real experience working in Chicken Breast:

     A customer fumed after I told him that the chicken cheese poutine was currently unavailable.

"What do you mean you don't have cheese?!" He yelled, leaning over the counter.

I grimaced as his spit got onto my arm. "It means— you order something else, or leave."

"Man fuck you! You bitch."

"Yo momma." I deadpanned.

"'Yo momma'?! With your apron-wearing ass!"

"Ahhhhh, you mad."

"I'm not mad, bitch! Look where you working at!"

"Ahhhh, look where you eatin' at."

Xianniang came out of the kitchen and got the guy out of the building before he threw a fist.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

I hope ppl still know vine cause I'm traumatized from my sister not knowing any 💀

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