Your home was one of the smaller houses in Jackson. A two bedroom weatherboard cottage that, despite desperately needing a new coat of paint, was quaint and perfectly suited to you. It's cosiness was comfortable and the unpretentious simplicity of its appearance felt safe. You had the comforts of a couch in your living room along with a small bookshelf full of books, a bed in your room complete with a dresser and mirror, and hot running water. Although you didn't have many furnishings and your most cherish possessions were sparse, you were proud to call the cottage your home, your sanctuary.
The morning daylight streamed through the lace curtains of your bedroom window, its warm touch rousing you from your slumber. You managed to find sleep sometime after midnight, after replaying the scene of the break up in your mind over and over, crying into your pillow until you were too exhausted to stay awake. This morning your head was aching and your eyes felt swollen. The memory of the previous night came flooding back to you and you groaned. You threw the blanket over your head and buried your face into your pillow, wishing you didn't have to work today.
Three days a week you worked as a teacher at the school and the other two days you were scheduled to cleaning work in the mess hall. You realised you had to talk to Maria about the possibility of switching jobs; if you remained working in the mess hall then you were bound to run into Joel, something you now wanted to avoid. Thankfully, today was a teaching shift and one you had been looking forward to - your class today was with the younger children and you had planned to teach them about the difference between insects with exoskeletons and endoskeletons. Suddenly you remembered the library book you forgot to pick up last week, a children's science book with illustrations that you needed for today's lesson. Shit. Looking at your clock you saw that you had enough time to shower, have breakfast and quickly pop into the library before the start of your lesson.
Begrudgingly you hauled yourself out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom, stepping over the dress you wore last night that you had left discarded on the floor. You didn't want to see it. In the bathroom you turned on the shower then stood before the bathroom mirror and stripped off your sleep shorts and tank top. You sighed at the puffiness of your eyes and hoped the warm water of the shower would lessen the pink swelling. Your eyes wandered over your naked form and you spied the fading hickey Joel had given you on one of your hips last week. He often marked you with bites and hickies as a way of claiming ownership of your body, hidden underneath your clothes for only you and him to see, your own personal reminder it was Joel that you belonged to. You had never denied him this liberty, only protesting when the drag of his teeth or his sucks became too painful. A memory flashed in your mind then to a night when Joel had been especially rough with you and had bitten the flesh of your ass too hard, causing you to squeal in pain. The bruise had lasted more than a week. You remembered the way he had massaged and kissed the area with a kind of gentle reverence, the touch of his large hands and the plush of his lips both soothing and arousing you at the same time.
The realisation that he would never mark you like this again made your heart sink, however, any sadness you felt disappeared when you saw the bruise on your upper arm from where he held you last night, the purple marks outlining the way his fingers wrapped around you. The sight conjured a different memory now; the way Joel's lips had curled into a cruel snarl as his words cut through you, the savage grip of his hand, the sheer contempt that had shone in his eyes. It sent a shiver down your spine and made you quickly turn away from your reflection and step into the shower.
******
You shut the front door of your cottage and began the walk to the town library a few streets away. The shower had refreshed you and after getting dressed and groomed, you were pleased at your reflection in the mirror; you had managed to look quite good. The morning sunshine warmed your skin as you strolled and you took a deep breath of fresh air. Today would be a new beginning. A fresh start. No more arranging your schedule around Joel's demands, no more sneaking around the backstreets of Jackson, no more being at his beck and call whenever he wanted you.
You had your day planned out. After your teaching shift you would spend some time preparing for tomorrow's lesson, then you would find Maria and talk to her about changing jobs. You knew you would still have to see Joel around town occasionally, but you wanted to limit the possibility of running into him or having any potential chance encounters. You needed the distance in order to heal and forget everything you had shared.
The town was already bustling with community members going about their daily business, children playing games in the street, men and women on their way to their jobs, shopkeepers opening their stores. As you walked through the town, people greeted you with friendly smiles and some of the children called out to you and waved. You felt grateful for their affection and the sense of community around you, and deep down you hoped that this comraderie and the sense of purpose your job gave you was enough to soothe the ache of your broken heart.
The library was a small building tucked away in a nook on the main street. It was a relatively small space comprised of several rows of neatly arranged shelves, two couches, and a very worn arm chair. Over the years the patrols had managed to collect an impressive catalogue of books from their raiding missions. Maude, the elderly librarian, managed the library three days a week and took her role quite seriously. You had always loved to read, the appreciation for literature having been instilled in you at a young age by your parents. The library was a peaceful niche of Jackson that you enjoyed delving into, often curling up on one of the couches to read a novel in your spare time, Maude's quiet nature being the perfect company for your visits.
You entered the library and smiled at the little jingle of the bell that sits above the entrance. You expect to see Maude standing at her usual spot at the counter, writing something down while muttering to herself. But this morning she isn't there. Instead, there is a man.
The unexpected presence makes you freeze still by the door. At the sound of the chime he looks up from the book laid out infront of him on the counter. You recognised his face as someone you've seen around Jackson before, but have never spoken to. He is of average height and has short curly black hair. His short facial hair is thick, unlike Joel's patchy beard, you randomly think. His skin is very lightly tanned olive. The small round glasses he wears give him a studious quality, and his large dark brown eyes seem kind and welcoming. He is older than you but not as old as Joel. He wears a dark knitted sweater and his overall appearance is bookish, academic. He is gorgeous.
"Good morning," he greeted you, smiling softly.
"Good morning," you replied, a little stiff. You cautiously stepped up to the counter, uncertain if you should be suspicious of Maude's absence. He pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"How can I help you?"
"Oh," you frowned and shook your head slightly, as if trying to shake off the awkwardness you felt. "Uhm, there was a book that I was supposed to borrow the other day. Maude put it aside for me."
"Oh, yes," he clicked his fingers and nodded eagerly. "You're the teacher, right? Maude told me you'd be in. She put it under the counter. Something about bugs."
"Yes, that's right." You eyed him cautiously. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"
The man bent down behind the counter and retrieved a hardcover book with the title Kids Bug Science Volume II in large letters on the front, the one Maude had told you about last week. He put it on the counter and gave a small chuckle. "I'm sorry, I should've introduced myself by now. I'm Oscar," he held out his hand to you. You accepted it in your own and gave it a light shake, giving him your own name. His hand was warm and soft but strong, masculine. You hadn't had another man touch you, even formally like this, since before you gave yourself to Joel. The contact made you blush and you averted your eyes to look down at the book instead of his gaze.
"Maude hasn't been feeling well, so Maria assigned me to help out in the library," Oscar explained as he braced himself against the counter, his tanned hands splaying on-top of the wood. "One of the patrols brought a load of books in just the other day, so there's some work to do."
"Oh," your eyes flickered back up to look at him, your interest piqued. "What do you usually do?"
"I work in the stables and sometimes on patrol," Oscar replied. "But I injured my ankle and I'm not really of any use at either job at the moment." He smiled ruefully. There is a benevolent air about him, a gentle humility that shines through as he speaks. You begin to relax, no longer wary of him.
"I'm sorry to hear about your injury," you said shyly, "but this job must be great. It's quiet, you don't have to talk to many people, you can read as much as you like..."
Oscar grinned at you and pushed himself away from the counter to stand up straight. "Yes, it's a nice change of pace," he agreed with a nod, "I like the peace, and reading, too. Do you like to read?"
"Yes, I do," you replied. You looked down and shifted on your feet awkwardly, inwardly hating the curse of your shyness.
"What do you like to read?" Oscar asked. "I can keep an eye out while I sort through the new books we got. So, if I find something I think you might like, I could keep it behind the counter for you."
His voice was gentle with sincerity but there was an edge of eagerness in his tone, as if he yearned for conversation, as if he needed to prove his usefulness. You realised that no one had shown interest in you like this for a very long time, if ever, and it made you feel nervous. You picked up the science book and hugged it to your chest, comforted by its weight against you.
"That would be really nice," you responded quietly. You gathered the courage to look up at Oscar and found his cheeks blushed pink, the corners of his mouth curled into a tender smile. You smiled back at him before your eye caught sight of the clock hanging on the wall behind him, making you gasp - your class was due to start in 5 minutes.
"It was really nice to meet you Oscar, but I've gotta go, my class is about to start." You smiled apologetically at him. "Thank you for the book."
"Oh, no problem," Oscar waved his hand. "How about you write down a list of any books you might be after?" He suggested, holding his hand out palm up. "I mean, whenever you're free, or if you even want to. No pressure." He stumbled over his words as if he were nervous and it made you giggle.
"That's a good idea, I'll do that. Thanks Oscar." You nodded toward him one last time before turning to walk out of the door.
"It was nice to meet you, too!" he called out to you as you passed through the threshold. You stepped back into the sunshine and smiled to yourself as you walked to the school. I can do this, you thought, there are other people in Jackson besides Joel, more friends to make. Life can be exciting without him, I can be happy without him.
You hoped that if you repeated these things inside your mind enough times that you would eventually believe it.
******
The next three days pass by uneventfully. You teach your class, make notes for the next lesson, have dinner in the cafeteria with your friends and spend some time hanging out with them, then go home for the evening. You know Joel's patrolling schedule like the back of your hand, so you're able to avoid the main street and the cafeteria hall and the local bar, The Tipsy Bison, when he's likely to be around. You talked to Maria about switching jobs and she said she needed to check the rosters to see what was available, but ultimately she granted you the relief of no longer working in the mess hall. When Maria questioned your decision to quit, you gave a mumbled, noncommittal response about needing a change. She didn't need to know your real reason, although the answer you offered wasn't necessarily a lie; you truly were determined to rebuild yourself, to start living your life how you wanted, and you really did need a change.
Tonight you sat with three of your friends at a table in the hall to eat dinner. You ate dinner together most evenings, catching up on gossip and discussing the events of the day, the plans for the next town event, what men your friends had their eye on. You were fortunate enough to have some friends the same age as you in Jackson and over the years your small circle of girlfriends had proved to be one of the main sources of happiness and comfort in life.
Kate, your closest friend, sat beside you at the table, scraping her spoon around her tray as she listened to the conversation happening infront of you. Your friends Jess and Rhi sat opposite you, engaged in a debate about some subject you weren't paying attention to. You were deep in thought about your lesson plan and what research you needed to finish before next week's class.
"Are we going to the Bison tonight?" Kate interjected.
"Yes!" Jess cheered, immediately abandoning the argument. "After the week I had, I need a drink."
"Ugh, same," Rhi groaned. "Let's get drunk and dance "
They all looked at you expectantly for confirmation but you were quiet, lost in your thoughts. Kate nudged you out of your trance.
"Hmm?" You hummed, head snapping up to look around the table."What?"
"The Bison tonight, you coming?" Jess asked eagerly.
It was the last place you wanted to be tonight. You had always enjoyed the occasional nights spent at the bar dancing and drinking with your friends. You would laugh with them as you danced and drank beer and tried to play darts, all the while secretly being watched by Joel across the bar, both of you pretending to ignore each other until the end of the night when you would rendezvous somewhere and Joel would fuck you senseless. It had always been so fun and exciting. But now, the thought of the mere probability of seeing Joel at his favourite hang out caused a knot of dread in your stomach.
"I'm pretty tired." You mumbled. ""Just going to have a quiet night at home."
"Boring!" Rhi declared. "Come on, we haven't been out in forever!"
"The barn dance was just a few nights ago," Kate laughed.
"But we didn't get drunk," Rhi corrected her. "And I didn't go home with the blonde ranger, either. So that doesn't count."
Your group continued talking about the plans for the night and what everyone was going to wear when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned to see Maria standing beside you.
"Hey Maria." You greeted her.
"Hey. Just letting you know that I took a look at the job rosters and all I've really got are patrol shifts."
"Oh," you mumbled, deflated. "Sorry Maria, I don't think I'd be very good at patrolling. I can't even shoot a tin can to save my life."
Maria laughed a little, nodding in agreement. "I know. Well, the only other option is the library. Maude isn't sure she will be up to working anytime soon, and Oscar might need some help. He was talking about doing some painting in the interior. Is that something you'd be willing to do?"
You couldn't help the broad smile of relief that broke out on your face. "That would be perfect, actually. Yes please, Maria."
"All sorted then," she nodded. "You can start tomorrow."
"Whose Oscar?" Jess asked in a whisper as Maria left the table. The girls look at you with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, he's looking after the library while Maude is sick," you picked up the bread roll on your tray. "He used to do patrolling and some other stuff, but he got hurt."
"Ooooh, I know him," Kate chirped. "He sometimes patrolled with Matt." Matt was Kate's older brother. "Kinda nerdy but cute, right?"
You pursed your lips together bashfully, unsure what to say in response. Oscar certainly was cute, infact he was quite attractive, but you didn't want to admit that to anyone. To your relief, Rhi suddenly squealed and leaned against the table to hiss excitedly about the blonde ranger who just strolled into the hall. Kate rolled her eyes.
"Could you be any more obvious?" Jess chuckled.
"By the way, I have a great idea for Cassie's wedding gift," Kate leaned against you affectionately. "You're gonna love it."
"Fantastic," you smiled. "I'll walk with you when we're done, and you can tell me all about it."
******
After dinner Rhi and Jess went back to the house they shared to get ready for drinks at the bar. You walked Kate across town to the house she lived in with her brother and his wife, chatting along the way. The sun had already set and the sky had faded into twilight. The streetlights would alight soon. Not many people lingered on the streets of Jackson at this time; they were either eating a late dinner in the mess hall, or already settled into their homes for the night, or at the bar. A few teenagers stalked around the streets in small groups, presumably on the hunt for mischief.
"Are you sure you won't come out tonight?" Kate asked you gently as you both approached her house. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," you flashed her a small smile. "I'm fine. Just tired. You guys go have a good time."
"Okay, well, get some rest." She embraced you and you hugged her back. "Let's do some more gift planning tomorrow, yeah?"
You agreed to meet Kate after your first shift at the library, then said goodnight and turned to walk in the direction of your own home. You leisurely strolled through one of the residential streets with your hands in your jeans pockets, marvelling at the first twinkle of stars appearing in the black night sky above you. You turned a corner into another quiet street and continued walking, occupied by your thoughts as you sifted through the events of the day in your mind. You were enthusiastic at the prospect of starting work at the library, although you felt bad that Maude was so unwell; you made a mental note to visit her sometime in the next few days to check in on her health. You decided you would try your best to gather a small arrangement of flowers to give her, thinking that it may help to cheer her up a bit.
Halfway down the street you diverted from the sidewalk to cut through a bunch of shrubs inbetween two houses, taking a short cut to lead into your own street. You were only a few houses away from your home when suddenly a hand clamped down over your mouth and nose, stifling your shocked squeal. An arm snaked around your waist and hauled you into the dark shadows between the neighbouring houses. The air left your lungs as you were shoved hard against the side of one of the buildings. You recognised the scent of Joel's skin and the callous palm of his hand straight away but the rush of fear continued to course through your whole body.
He had your back against the wall, his hand still covering your mouth and his arm around your waist, his body pressed flush against yours. Your eyes widened at how close he was, his warm breath fanning against your cheeks, his belly and hips digging against your lower half. The clear discrepancy between your height and size made you feel like trapped prey, helpless and weak in his grasp with no hope of escape. You felt suffocated and frightened.
"Where you been, kitten?" Joel murmured. He nuzzled his nose against your cheek and inhaled your smell. "Waited for you to come 'round last night."
He removed his hand from your mouth and you immediately sucked in a deep breath of air that made you cough. Joel's hand then wrapped around your throat lightly, causing you to whimper in fear.
"Well, where were you?" Joel growled impatiently. The disorientating fog of shock had momentarily slowed your thought process but you were still able to register the feeling of his erection pressing into your thigh. In that instant you knew that Joel wasn't going to be gentle with you.
"W-w-we aren't together, Joel." You gasped. Your hands reached up in a pathetic attempt to prise his grip off of your neck. "I'm not...I won't be doing that with you anymore."
"Don't be fuckin' stupid," he muttered scornfully.
"I-I'm not," you stammered. You tried to remain composed and assertive but the unsteady tone of your voice betrayed you. Your heart pounded in your chest and your mouth felt dry. "We...we're over."
Joel tilted his head back and barked a sardonic laugh. "Is that so?" His broad hand squeezed your throat hard, choking you. Your eyes widened in panic and you tried desperately to claw at his hand. Joel studied your face intently as you struggled, unfazed by your movements. A wicked smirk formed on his lips. "That ain't your choice to make, sugar. You are mine. We ain't over til I fuckin' say we are."
He kept you pinned against the wall as his other arm uncoiled itself from your waist. You felt his hand roam over your stomach and down to your jeans. Humiliation washed over you as he began to unbutton your jeans, his breathing now becoming ragged. Joel's hold on your neck had robbed you of the ability to protest and tears pooled in your eyes and threatened to spill any moment.
"Little bitch," Joel snarled. His hand dipped into your underwear and he pushed two of his thick fingers directly onto your clit. Your mouth fell open in a silent gasp. He began to rub light circles over your clit, forcing your eyes to roll back in pleasure. You felt the strength drain from your body as the lightheaded sensation consumed you. Your hands dropped down to your sides while your shoulders slumped, your legs close to buckling underneath you. Your vision was rapidly becoming dark and fuzzy.
"Your pussy belongs to me." Joel whispered huskily. "Feel that, baby? Yeah, you fuckin' love it. 'Soon as I touch ya, you turn into a whore."
Joel lessened his hold on the column of your neck just enough for you to breathe again. A strangled cough burned your throat as you inhaled. Your glassy eyes recentered on Joel's face and the tears began to stream down your cheeks. He continued massaging the pads of his fingers on your clit and leaned in to press a soft kiss against your lips. You sobbed helplessly, hating yourself for the wetness that was gathering in your panties despite the depravity of what was happening to you, despising the fact that Joel knew your body so intimately and was so adept at making you come undone. His fingers inched further to brush over the entrance of your pussy and instantly became coated in your slick.
"See?" He purred, his Southern accent rich with his own desire. He pulled his head back to look into your eyes and you saw there was now a kind of solemn tenderness in his dark brown orbs. "No one knows you better than I do, babydoll." Joel slowly pushed his two fingers inside you, your wetness allowing his thick digits to stretch you open in a way that was exhilarating.
"Fuck," you moaned, your mouth falling open and your eyebrows knitting together from the pleasure. Joel began to fuck you with his fingers, pumping in and out at a steady pace. Without thinking, you instinctively parted your legs and grabbed onto his shoulders to steady yourself. He relinquished his hold on your neck and moved his hand up to loosely cup your chin, and stroked his thumb along your jaw. You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to be consumed by his touch.
"That's it, babydoll," Joel drawled. His fingers sheathed all the way inside you and expertly curled against your g-spot. You bit your lip in an effort to suppress your moans and dug your fingers into the rounded muscles of his shoulders. Your legs trembled and your head began to swim as the familiar intoxicating swirl of ecstasy coiled in your belly.
"Joel," you whimpered. With his fingers deep inside you stimulating the spongy ridge of your sweet spot, Joel started to rub your clit with his thumb. The intense pleasure he was giving you was starting to break your resolve, tempting you to forgive him and succumb once more to his control. His eyes were focused on your features, darting over your mouth and eyes, drinking in every mirco expression that passed over your face.
"My little slut," he groaned. Your eyes flickered open to see the warmth had left his eyes. It had been replaced with a fiery glare that you knew well, a dangerous look that made you anxious with the apprehension of what he would do next. The recognition of the shift in his demeanour snapped you out of the haze of euphoria and engulfed you with panic.
"Stop," you whined. You pushed your palms flat against his chest and tried to shove him back, even though you knew it was pointless. "I said stop, Joel."
"Ain't goin' anywhere," Joel grunted. "Needa reminder of who owns you, girl." His thumb continued circling your clit as his fingers resumed pushing in and out of your wetness. You randomly contemplated screaming for help, to slap him, kick him, to fight back somehow, but realistically you knew it would only enrage Joel and make things a whole lot worse for you.
Without warning, the loud sounds of glass shattering and nearby teenage voices laughing rang through the quiet street. Both your heads whipped around towards the direction the noise had come from. He clapped his palm over your mouth and stopped fucking you with his fingers, poised to see if anyone was approaching. The voices grew louder and you guessed there were atleast three teenagers close by. When Ellie's distinct voice sang out to tease one of her friends, Joel quickly slid his hand out from your underwear and stepped back from you to adjust his hard cock in his pants. You hurriedly buttoned up your jeans and glanced at Joel. He was already staring at you, scowling, his eyes dark with warning.
"I meant what I said. Ain't over til I say it is." He said bitterly.
The voices were closer now, Ellie's lilt loud and unmistakable in the chorus. You knew the possibility of Ellie discovering you and Joel in such a compromising situation would force him to abandon his pursuit of you. Without saying another word, Joel turned his back on you and stalked away, the leaves and gravel crunching underneath his heavy work boots.
You stayed in the shadows as you raced home to your cottage. You were in desperate need of the quiet haven of solitude that your cottage was. Once inside the cottage you curled up under your blanket on your bed and cried. You wept at the overwhelming mixture of disgust and sadness that twisted in your gut. However, perhaps the most painful thing of all was the self hatred you felt at the way your body still ached for Joel.