With his eyes locked on the screen of his phone, Taehyung impatiently waits for Jungkook to reply. He had sent more than twenty messages. After calling him for more than ten times. Jungkook did not show up at class but Ms. Ji said that he left the estate early that morning.
<Where are you?>
<I know you've already seen this.>
<Stop this childishness.>
<Where are you?>
He tried so hard to stop himself from asking Jungkook's friends about his whereabouts during class. He just wanted to know where he is. He's worried. And honestly, guilty. How long will they be like this? He scrolled through his phone to call his father in law.
"Hello? Taehyung." Fortunately, he immediately answered.
"Good morning, dad. Do you know where Jungkook is?"
"He came to the company earlier. He's now with Mr. Jang."
"Oh. Thank you. He didn't come to school."
"He said he'll do something important."
"Do you know what it is?"
"Unfortunately, no. But I can ask after my meetings."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I am disturbing."
"It's okay. We haven't started."
"There's no need to ask Mr. Jang. I'll just calm him myself."
He heard Hoseok let out a short laugh. "Or you can just call Jungkook directly."
"I'll try many times more."
"That's right. Patience."
"I'll hang up. Your meeting might start anytime soon. Thank you."
"Okay. Don't worry too much. Once you know where he is, just come to him. I'm sure you'll be fine at the end of this day. And about your stepfather...I'll try to talk him out of it."
"Thank you."
An hour had passed. And then, two. Until it was already late afternoon. Taehyung did not receive anything from Jungkook. His calls to Mr. Jang went to voicemail too. He counted the minutes to when he can jet off to go home. He thought maybe he'd go to the company. Jungkook must be there. But he should call home to check too. His phone dinged.
<Let's talk later.> Jungkook finally replied.
<Where have you been?>
<Somewhere.>
<Where are you?>
<Still out. Let's just talk later.>
<I'm sorry.>
His heart drummed waiting for his response. Seconds turned into minutes. The screen of his phone blacked. Taehyung sighed heavily, tilting his head back. Then, he heard a ding. He quickly turned up his phone, his heartbeat racing anew.
<Can I call you?>
Disappointingly, it was not from Jungkook. It was from Minsol.
<Why?>
<I'm sorry. But I have a favor to ask.>
<What is it?>
■■■
"How did you know I was there?" Jungkook asked.
"My sister told me. What were you doing?"
"It's confidential. Your sister shouldn't be divulging that."
Roseanne pouted. "She only told me that you were with her. Nothing more."
"Is it really important?" Lisa questioned. "You missed class."
"Professor gave a pretty complicated lecture." Eunwoo added.
"I'll just ask him about it." He said mistakenly. His eyes widened when he realized. "I mean, I'll ask what I missed."
"We can just lend you our notes." Roseanne suggested.
"Or we can just talk about it right now."
"No." He whined. "I'm too hungry for that."
"You must have a very eventful day."
"Yeah. I'm so hungry."
They were in a restaurant. Inside a private space intended for the more well to do clientele of the establishment. They were separated from the main dining area by a one way mirror glass wall.
"More wine?" The server asked.
Roseanne and Lisa curtly nodded their heads.
"Sir?" He asked Jungkook after pouring in the girls' glasses.
"No. Thank you." He said, waving his hands. "I just don't feel like having it." He quickly explained when he noticed them staring.
A large cheese wheel was brought in. They watched as cacio e pepe was swirled and mixed on it. They were served with a plate of the pasta one by one. Being so famished, Jungkook swiftly took a bite of his.
"Slow down." Lisa reminded, giggling.
"I'm so hungry." Jungkook scrunched his nose. "Besides, I told you I'll just eat and go. I have to go home soon."
"What's at home?" Eunwoo wondered. "You barely hang out with us these days."
"There are more important things to tend to at our age."
"You sound like someone who's already got a family."
"Or someone who's busy with his career." Lisa added.
"We're all like that. What changed? You're not like this before."
"Lighten up. You're right. We barely hang out nowadays. Do you really want to waste this time for this kind of talk?" Roseanne interrupted.
"I'm just saying, if there's something...you can tell us."
"You came off kind of aggressive." Jungkook side-eyed.
Eunwoo smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. But you know, we know something's up with you. You can tell us. We'll wait until you're ready."
Lisa gave Jungkook a passing look. He bowed and continued eating.
"Is that Professor Kim?"
Jungkook swiftly lifted his head and turned to look. Taehyung was by the restaurant entrance. He was talking to the hostess. She led him to a table directly next to the glass wall.
"Guess he'll be on a date."
"It feels wrong to see him here. It feels like invading his privacy."
Holding his breath, Jungkook subtly brought out his phone.
Where are you? He typed.
<Sorry. I'll be home an hour late. But I'll be there as soon as I can.>
He read his previous message. He never replied. Regrettably, he was thinking, should he have? What is he doing? Who is he meeting?
And a weight crashed on his chest when he saw who came in. He knew her. He stubbornly asked for her name to learn her face. It was the woman Taehyung called the night before their supposed wedding. Jungkook watched with gritted teeth.
She walked to him. She was wearing a one shoulder little black dress and strappy heels. Her hair was fixed into numerous soft, loose curls. She had make up on. Jungkook didn't know the color of her lipstick exactly. But it looked pretty on her.
"Pretty." Roseanne commented. "They look good together."
Jungkook heard as he watch her approach Taehyung who rose to greet her. She held his cheek before slowly granting a long kiss on the other. Jungkook breathed unevenly through the heaviness he's trying to contain. His trembling hand caused for the message he typed to be sent. It was too late when he saw it. He waited for Taehyung's reaction.
Taehyung pulled the chair for Minsol to sit.
"I told you no kiss of any form." He hissed as he did.
"How will it be believable if we don't kiss?" She whispered to him.
He felt his phone vibrate. He sat and took it out of his jacket.
<Where are you?>
He quickly sent a reply.
<Still at school.>
Jungkook swallowed against the lump in his throat.
"Are you okay?" Lisa whispered.
He curved his lips into a painful smile. "Yeah."
He slid his phone into his pocket and reached for the steak. One slab. He cut, bit, chewed and swallowed. Second. He sliced, chomped and gnawed.
"Stop watching them." Eunwoo told Roseanne.
"They're so cute."
Jungkook uncontrollably turned. They were looking at the menu. She was talking. She placed her hand under her chin and smiled at him. A smile so sweet. Sickeningly sweet. Taehyung lifted his gaze to look at her before bowing back down to smile to himself. He can clearly see him. He can clearly see how he bit his lips to fight it from curving.
It hurt. Terribly. Like he was about to die right then and there. Like his heart was about to burst. He can't breathe. Even harder was to stop himself from breaking down. He tried to distract his self by eating. On and on, he placed food inside his mouth. Feeding nonstop, filling himself ceaselessly.
He downed everything down with a glass of lemon infused water.
"I have to go."
"Already?" Roseanne sadly asked.
"You can use the private exit at the back."
Jungkook looked at Lisa. She was smiling at him sadly.
He left without a moment to spare, worried that anything he'll see might cause him to break in front of others. He swiftly hopped inside the car when it arrived at the spot where he's waiting.
"Master, to home?" The driver asked.
Jungkook sniffled. "No. Can you drive me to Yoongi hyung's office?"
■■■
Taehyung has been waiting for four hours already. After his pretend date with Minsol which happened for only roughly half an hour, he went home expecting that Jungkook would be there. But just like that morning, he was nowhere to be seen and cannot be contacted again.
His driver was already relieved of his work for the day. According to Ms. Ji. He came home alone, saying that Jungkook asked him to. Jungkook assured him that he'd be home safe since his Yoongi hyung will drive him. However Taehyung tries to understand, what Jungkook did does not sit well with him. They were supposed to talk. They haven't for quite a while. They are in a fight. And he chose to be with Min Yoongi?
A few hours ago, his mother called him to say that Jungkook met her earlier that day to let her know that he's withdrawing the lawsuit. He can't quite understand. Did he do it for him? Because he considered what he felt? Or did he do it out of the anger he had for him? Was he forced because of what he said the previous night? Was the supposed talk only to reproach? Was that why he never responded back? Is he really that mad?
Alone in a darkened room, lost in his contemplation, he was disturbed by the ring of the telephone.
He quickly picked up. "Hello?"
"Master Kim." Mr. Choi, the butler, called. "Master has arrived."
"He's coming here?"
"Uhm...I heard...I heard that he does not want to stay with you."
Taehyung sighed. "Still? He's still mad?"
"So mad." He cleared his throat. "Sorry. His father and him. They got on a fight. Lots of shouting. And crying. I've never heard Mr. Jung raise his voice that loud."
"Why?"
"The hospital director called. He reported that master secretly went in for an emergency earlier this evening."
"What?!" Taehyung panicked.
"Indigestion." He frantically supplied. "His stomach ached because of indigestion."
"I'm going there."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"I'm going."
"He does not want to see you. If you force him to see you tonight, he might really mean what he asked his father."
"What did he ask?"
Silence.
"Mr. Choi, what did he ask?"
"He asked to divorce you."
Without a word, Taehyung threw the phone and stormed out. He hastily and agitatedly journeyed through the estate, arriving at Terra all heated and perspiring.
"Master." Mr. Choi said as soon as he saw him through the door.
He walked directly to the elevator.
"Master Kim." Ms. Ji lightly stopped him.
"I just want to talk to him."
"Maybe tomorrow."
"No. Last night you said the same thing. What happened today? We just need to talk. We just need to see each other."
He went in and closed the door.
Inside his room, Jungkook was tearfully staring at nowhere. He was curled on the bed, hugging his stomach.
"Jungkook."
He didn't stir.
"Let's talk. Please. Why? Does it mean so much to you to punish him? If it will stop you from being like this, then fine."
His tears poured harder. "So stupid." He murmured. "You think that's the problem? You're so stupid."
"Come on. Talk to me. Let's stop this."
It made him bawl more. The way Taehyung sounded. It seemed like he is desperate. But why would he be? When he looked happy with someone else?
"Please. Come on."
Jungkook covered his ears. The elevator opened.
"No. No!" He quickly sat and backed away.
Taehyung jumped in to hold him. "Let's talk. Please."
"I don't want to! I don't want to see you!"
"Why? Please. Just tell me why."
He was holding both of Jungkook's cheeks, forcing the younger to directly face him. They were looking at each other's brimming eyes and tears-streaked face.
"Who is she?" Jungkook asked, his voice low and trembling.
Taehyung immediately understood. He closed his eyes in frustration. He knew he'd know. His gut told him that he'll know. And he will hurt him. He tried to refuse because he knew that it would hurt him.
"What is she to you? Why does she always come between us? Why do you always choose to be with her before me?"
"That's not true. It was just a favor. We just pretended we're together so someone will stop bothering her."
"It didn't look like you were pretending."
"Come on. What are you talking about?"
"You were happy." He gripped Taehyung's wrists. "You find her nice. She's sweet. You like her personality."
"You're saying stupid things." Taehyung cried.
"Your mom likes her." A gush of moisture escaped his eyes. "Your stepdad won't have to sneer. You won't..." His face twisted in misery. "You won't have to hide."
Jungkook tightly held his arms and pulled them down to remove it from his face.
"She won't be hard to love. She'll be easier to be with. You're better off with her."
He got off the bed to flee to the restroom. Taehyung desperately chased after, stumbling along the way. He narrowly missed but was still able to catch his arm. He stopped the door from closing and squeezed himself through the space left open.
"No. No. I don't want to." He said tugging on Jungkook's arm.
"Let go. Let me go." He pled.
"Let's think about it more. I'll leave. I'll leave you alone. Then we'll talk again tomorrow. Okay?"
Jungkook did not answer.
"Please. Say it. Please Jungkook. Jungkook!" He begged, grasping tighter on the other's wrist.
"Let go. You're hurting me."
"Please. Just tell me you'll think about it."
"Let me go! Let me go!" He squirmed.
"I don't want to! I can't. Please. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
"Please."
"Not like this. It won't happen again. I swear."
Jungkook can only weep.
"You don't mean that. You're just mad. I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please. I'm so sorry."
In the midst of his pitiful sobs, Jungkook suddenly stilled. He looked down and heavily panted. Taehyung froze.
"Why? What is it?"
"I'm...I'm b-bleeding." He said in a thickened voice.
Taehyung quickly scooped him up and laid him down on the bed.
"Don't move." He rushed to the intercom. "Call the doctor!"
■■■
Jungkook's light snores resound in the silence of the room. Taehyung sat on his bedside, his elbows on his knees while staring on the carpeted floor. It's way past midnight. His husband has been sleeping for a while. Taehyung quietly sat, enveloped in the darkness. Unable to sleep. Or even move. In his mind, what had happened plays. Like a broken record. He can't forget it.
He can still see the utmost horror in Jungkook's face. It was a false alarm. But the fear it has ingrained on him is very real. The doctor said that because of what had happened before, Jungkook has associated abdominal pain with bleeding. She said that it seemed like he has been under a lot of stress. His hormones were way off. Added to that was the physical ordeal he has experienced earlier that night. It threw his system out of balance. And something like that should not happen again. It is dangerous for him and Gukkie.
Taehyung cannot dare to touch him after that. He can't even look him in the eye. He was the cause of his stress. The altercation with his mother's husband. The pain he caused because of what he did with Minsol. The argument between him and his own father. It was all his fault. He's jeopardizing them. He is a danger to him and Gukkie.
He stood up and strode next to his bed, looking over him. He lifted his hand to touch his hair, ever so lightly. He came close and gently kissed his head.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, so quiet that the universe cannot even hear it.
He paced out of the room, slow and silent, careful not to wake Jungkook. The younger's eyes fluttered open. He watched Taehyung's back as he was getting on the elevator. He shut his eyes as he was about turn back. Taehyung gave him one last look before the door closes.
The two days that came after were as cold and grim as that in a place where the sun doesn't shine. The pair grew distant. They still sleep in the same bed and eat at the same table. But the proximity only accentuated the expanse in between them. A distance that could have been bridged by the words they both left unsaid. Jungkook is left alone every night in bed, wondering what Taehyung is doing until the wee hours in the study. Taehyung sits in the room doing nothing, waiting until Jungkook is fast asleep. Then, he would silently lay beside him. The distance was never closed. They sleep far apart with their backs to each other.
For Taehyung, it is guilt. The one that keeps him from reaching his hand out. The one that tells him that he doesn't deserve Jungkook's time, audience, warmth and even his touch. He has avoided talking to him, worried that whatever he will say might throw him off again. It tells him that his presence is giving his beloved a hard time. It tells him to stay away. It is what's within the space that keeps them apart.
For Jungkook, it is pride. It keeps him from giving in. However awfully he wanted. It keeps him from asking despite being terribly baffled as to why Taehyung chooses to stay away. He wonders why he doesn't make up for whatever he put him and Gukkie through. Don't they matter? It is the one that makes him scowl whenever he sees him. The one that makes him feel so bad and annoyed. It is what's keeping him away from him.
They sat quietly at the dining table one morning before going to school.
"Do you want a refill of your coffee?" Ms. Ji asked Taehyung.
He responded by shaking his head and giving her a small smile.
"You want anything else?" She asked Jungkook.
"No."
She went back to the line, alongside all the other helps.
"I'm done. Please get the car ready." Jungkook said and rose from his seat.
He went to the door. The sneakers he'll wear were placed nearby. He sighed. He told the stylist that it's getting hard to lace them up.
"I need help with my shoes." He called.
"I'll help you." Taehyung said in a low voice. He didn't notice that he was behind him.
Jungkook unceremoniously sat on the couch and Taehyung kneeled before him. He slotted his feet in. Jungkook watched as the other tightened the laces.
"Tight?" Taehyung asked.
He did not answer. He was just looking at him. Taehyung lifted his head to look at him. Their eyes met. Immediately, he dropped his head back down.
"Is it too tight?" He asked in a thick voice.
Jungkook's sight blurred. "It's not." He sniffed.
"Done." Taehyung swiftly rose.
He stood up, albeit rather slowly, as soon as Taehyung was finished. He went straight to the car waiting outside. Inside, he heaved a deep breath before finally trembling, unable to keep his tears in. He let out loud sobs. His shoulders were shaking. He held his chest, feeling his heart ache. Then, he sensed a throb in his stomach. He can't do this. He shouldn't be like this. He took a lungful and proceeded to stabilize his breathing. He wiped his face dry.
"Sorry. I'm sorry. It's okay. We're going to be okay." He murmured while tenderly stroking his bump.