Chapter 19
Painful Passion
Mary’s POV
My heart is aching horribly today, but I pretend I’m fine. This is Kate’s evening and I don’t want to miss it by staying in bed. We are reaching the big field after walking there in Kate’s slow pace, but my heart is speeding in exhaustion. I hope I will survive the evening without letting anyone see how ill I am. It takes a lot of effort to not cradle my arms over my chest.
I hate being sick. I can’t spell the word hate in big enough letters. I am a Ninjan; I’m not supposed to be weak! I don’t want to sulk for the rest of my life, but it is hard to get over. It will only be over once I’m dead. I’m terrified of death. Not death itself, I’m more concerned about how my family will cope without me. It won’t be easy for them.
Jupiter is probably here, but I can’t sense him. I wish I could. I miss him terribly and I am struggling against feeling any need for him. Why can’t it be comfortable like he told me it may be? It’s mostly my selfish wish that he will remove the pain with his mere touch. I’m so greedy for it.
Fires are already being lit on the various fireplaces and the whole Pack is sitting on picnic blankets on the ground, waiting for our arrival. They are chatting and don’t pay us much attention as we make our way over to where Princess and Vincent have saved us a spot.
I glare at Princess carefree attitude with a hope that she can feel my emotional daggers. She makes eye contact with me as she turns around; surprised over my hostile energy towards her. She waves awkwardly but I just stomp up to her and push her roughly so she stumbles a few steps back. My heart hurts like hell, but it is worth it. I’m too angry to care.
“What do you mean by dragging Kate around?” I hiss emotionlessly the way Mother usually does. Mother would never push anyone like that though.
“What do you mean?” Princess wonders completely unaware of what she did.
“As an Alpha I think you should know,” I mutter and turn my back against her to find a place to sit on the blanket. There’s no point to discuss with a clueless royalty and I’m afraid I’ll fall over if I insist on arguing.
“Kate?” Princess asks my triplet sister and I watch Kate frown because she doesn’t want to tell her for some reason I can’t understand. It’s not easy to hurt Princess feelings.
“You bruised my arms badly when you dragged me over to Jane’s house,” she says quietly. “Other than that I’m alright. I healed.”
Princess hits her head a few times and Vincent grabs her arms so she doesn’t hurt herself.
“I’m really sorry!” she cries out to Kate. “I’m so stupid, but all I could think of was that cake-stealing…”
“Princess Ray!” Mother stops her rambling. “Never again.”
“Never again,” Princess agrees and takes a few steps back at the legendary teacher’s request. Vincent massages where she hit herself on the head, but she’s not the slightest bit embarrassed over what she did. “Well let’s start the welcome party!” she yells and walks up to the bonfire in the middle of the crowd.
A pack member gives her a torch and she throws it to set the logs on fire. A loud cheer breaks out and people start to load their grills with food. I don’t cheer with them; I don’t have energy for it. I want to lie down and rest. I do that and close my eyes with a small smile on my lips. I could die like this.
“Hey Kate!” I hear Princess’ best friend yell and I pry my eyes open to see my poor Kate being swamped into Jason’s arms. “You have grown so much since I saw you last time!”
He’s wearing blue jeans and a black shirt that looks good and very dressy on him. His brown hair is however standing in all directions and his sneakers are so dirty that I wonder if he put them in a pile of mud without paying attention. He has a kind expression in his eyes with a huge hint of mischievousness in them. He’s as old as Princess and he always got them into trouble when they grew up.
His beautiful wife Carlie is right behind him with their six year old daughter Katrina that is an exact replication of her mother. We call them Mrs and Miss Diva because of their attitude. Miss Diva is wearing a pair of sunglasses in her braided black hair and is dressed in yellow shorts and a pink top. Carlie has her regular hair in a messy bun on her head and her skirt is wider than anything I ever saw someone wear before. Their skin is chocolate brown and only Kate is tan enough to be closest to their colour.
“Princess!” Carlie says loudly and shove a chocolate cake into her arms. “I was so excited to hear the news! My parents were so mad that we were leaving River Hills early to be here for Kate’s welcome home party.”
Jason rolls his eyes. “They weren’t mad,” he defends them. “Where do you get these crazy ideas from, woman? They are so happy that Kate is home again.”
“They were not happy to see me leave,” she glares him down and he takes a few steps back.
A small smiles shows on Kate’s lips and she reaches out her hand to Jason’s wife. She’s probably happy that someone can take that wildhead.
“Hi, I’m Kate,” she introduces herself politely. “I don’t believe we met before?”
“Hey.” Carlie eagerly shakes her hand returning the smile. “I am Carlie, Jason’s wife and Princess best friend. Isn’t that right?” She gives Princess a sunshine smile and my older sister grin back at her.
“Of course! It’s amazing that you could come today.”
“Hey!” Jason grumbles. “I am your best friend.”
Both women immaturely stick their tongues out at him and I roll my eyes at their usual bicker. Kate says hello to Miss Diva with the same enthusiasm and I turn my attention over to Tom who seems to be struggling if he should go over to Leanne or not. What’s his problem? She’s sitting right there! He doesn’t know how lucky he is that he has a mate that isn’t a spirit.
Cousin Gabriel’s family can be heard across the whole field with their six children playing around. His wife is proudly eyeing him as he grills meat and vegetables. I feel jealous of that too. How normal will mine and Jupiter’s relationship be? He wants me to see him as a man but it is hard when he can’t wander around in the open. The more I think about it, the more heartbroken I feel. As if my heart isn’t hurting already.
I work my way back up to sitting position as the first neighbours comes to say hello to Kate. She’s a bit shy and touched as every family leaves her a gift. She looks truly happy and at peace by Adam’s side in our pack.
The normal food exchange goes on and we all spend the next two hours eating and talking. Adam walks away with Kate to see the other families again but I stay put on the blanket, feeling left out. It sucks that I found my mate. I never urged to feel a part of something before. I have my family, but it’s not the same thing since I have found him.
Leanne joins my side as the sky is turning black around us. The first stars are starting to show and I smile at her.
“This evening is so successful,” I tell her. “Kate doesn’t feel uncomfortable and that’s the most important thing.”
“Yeah,” Leanne answers me with a hint of humour in her voice. “You should have seen Mrs Diva and Jason. She never finds what he does good enough. Princess takes her side too. I feel sorry for the guy.”
“I’m not sure Jason deserves to feel sorry for,” I add shaking my head. “He’s always making a mess of things. I think it’s silly that Princess still holds a grudge against him because he beat down Vincent fourteen years ago.”
“Well, Vincent still hates him for it.”
“Gossiping again, are you girls?” Father inclines and gives us two plates of Carlie’s cake. “I don’t believe you had any dessert yet.”
“Oh thank you, Mitch!” Leanne lights up and starts digging in like a pig.
I saw her eat so much food earlier that I gape at her appetite, even though I know she has one. She almost licks her plate off and then looks longingly at mine. I only took a few pieces of it so far and I hide it away from her.
“This is my cake!” I defend it and gets a pout from her. Too bad it doesn’t work on me. “Tom hasn’t touched his piece of cake yet,” I inform her and point over to my brother who is talking to one of his friends.
She quickly gets on her feet and yell Tom loud and clear so everyone around has to cover their ears. My poor brother doesn’t stand a chance against her wild appetite and surrender his dessert. I sigh in relief as I continue to eat mine slowly in peace. Carlie makes wonderful cakes.
Everyone starts cleaning away the remains of the food and the festive evening continues by Leanne and me chatting before the whole pack starts singing. Tom is sitting next to her and they look so cute together. I sneak away from them a while after to give them some privacy since the rest of the family is somewhere else.
I retreat into the forest and soon the sounds of the humming voices tunes out. Fireflies are filled in the air and I soundlessly make my way through the trees until I walk right into another body. The crash takes me by surprise as I didn’t sense anyone around.
“Ow,” I hear Jupiter moan and my whole body starts to tingle at his touch when he prevents me from falling down to the ground. I wrap my arms around his neck because I missed him so much. The pain in my heart is forgotten as I attack his lips with mine.
I angrily tear at his clothes when he doesn’t kiss me back, but I keep going persistently. I find my way under his shirt and let my hands rest on his warm stomach. His skin feels just as amazing as I remember, if not better.
“Mary,” he moans and I love the way he speaks my name. I take my chance and dip my tongue into his mouth. I never kissed like this before, but it sets off a fire inside of me I never knew I had before. He answers my kiss with just as much passion and we both lose our sanity in each other.
His hands are shaking as he ties up my uniform and pulls it off me. The cold night air hits me as I’m standing in my black underwear. He breaks away from me and I gasp for air. He continues to trail kisses down my throat and that is electrifying. It feels like my body is going to burn up. I just want him to touch me and never stop.
He slows down in his movement and I feel a little bit annoyed before I sense his nervousness. He’s almost scared to death.
“Jupiter, what’s wrong?” I ask him worriedly and look deep into his eyes. He’s glowing white in the dark and he’s so stunning. I can’t believe he’s mine!
“I… never did anything like this before,” he stutters embarrassed. “I don’t think… I’m ready yet.”
That’s the sweetest thing I ever heard. My heart swells and I reach up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Your kisses are enough for me,” I whisper into his ear. “I’m really not feeling well either way.”
I close my eyes in his embrace and lean into him a long time while my heart calms down. I open my eyes later on just to see that we are standing in my bedroom. Sneaky Wolf Spirit.
“You’ll stay here tonight, right?” I ask him nervously.
“Of course, my sweet Mary. Your Mother might shred me into pieces, but you’re worth it. Not to mention how pretty you look in your underwear,” he says and looks me up and down blushing.
I chuckle lightly at his comment and crawl into bed. I notice that my clothes are neatly wrapped on my chair and I smile in wonder because he’s that amazing. Maybe there is a lot of things that isn’t good about having a Spirit as a mate, but there is certainly good sides that weighs them up.
“You must be used to seeing people naked,” I add lightly as he climbs in next to me.
“Yes, but they don’t affect me like you do.”
He wraps his arms around me and I turn the light out before snuggling into him. I finally let down my defences but I didn’t think I’d have them for long. He’s my mate so I’m not trying to resist him on purpose. At least I met a mate who can ease my pain. I would have left another wolf broken behind me and I’m thankful for that. The Spirits did give me the best choice of a mate. I’m still angry over the usual stuff, but not over Jupiter. He’s the only part of the Wolf Spirit world that I dare to trust.
I don’t want to fall asleep. I want to sniff his scent and just drown in him. He makes me calm and so happy. I’m afraid to use the word love but what I feel must be love?
“I love you too, Mary,” he says happily and kisses my forehead. “Don’t worry too much and get to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Promise?” I ask him weakly.
“I’ll be here for the rest of your life unless Kate passes away first. I promise you that.”
That’s a sad statement by itself. I guess I won’t be around to see it and then he’ll join me on the other side. I wish I was a strong healthy wolf. Maybe no one noticed my weakness this evening, but I should have had more energy to celebrate. All pain drains away my energy and there is nothing I can do about it.
-
“Mary, wake up,” a gentle voice says and I’m slowly brought from the world of dreams.
I open my eyes and rub them and am greeted by Kate holding out a steaming cup of tea for me. There’s starlight in her eyes that wasn’t there before and she’s glowing with happiness. I move my arm and it hits a knee. Jupiter is sitting next to me in bed on top of the covers and he’s smiling warmly at me.
“Good morning, Mary Heart,” he greets and I sigh and pout my lips at him.
He reaches down to peck me quickly and helps me into sitting position. He puts his arms around my waist and I take the cup from Kate and breathe in the spicy steam.
“Yesterday was a horrible day,” I tell them honestly. “I feel a lot better today.”
A flash of sadness crosses her eyes and I pat the bed for her to sit down with us.
“I wish I could take it away,” she whispers. “It really hurts me to see you like this.”
“Did you have a good night yesterday?”
“Yes, it was amazing. Everyone was so nice and welcoming. Many of them remember me and it was nice to listen to the stories of what we used to do.” She sighs again. “It’s not easy to move on and forget all those years I was away. I’ll never get over it. I wish we had forever together, Mary.”
“I wish that too,” I cry and hug her carefully so I don’t spill my tea. She hugs me back and her thin body feels fragile under my touch. I wonder if my body will lose strength and become as weak as Kate’s.
“Mother is preparing breakfast. Drink that up and join us?”
I nod at her and she disappears out of the room. Jupiter urges me to finish my tea before I get up and I quickly swallow down the hot liquid. It burns my tongue, but I’m not that picky. It’s nice to feel pain somewhere else than my heart for once.
“Thanks for staying with me,” I tell him awkwardly and hugs him even closer.
“Thank you for letting me be here,” he answers me and plays with a strand of my hair. “I’m so happy that you are letting me be a part of your life.”
“Good,” I say brusquely and jump out of bed. “It’s not easy to let a Wolf Spirit in. The whole idea is so absurd and I should hate the Spirits for punishing me like this. I’m going to take a shower now. You’re not invited.”
I shower quickly and throw on my purple uniform before joining my family in the kitchen. Jupiter disappeared to his Spirit world again but I don’t mind. I don’t need him to hold my hand the whole day as long as he’s there for bad ones like yesterday.
“Good morning!” Father joyfully shouts out to me as I take my regular seat.
The table is filled with food and I gladly dig in and steal the toasts Tom just prepared for himself. He glares at me but I just stick my tongue out at him before I bite down into the crunchy bread.
“Did you sleep well?” Mother asks me disapprovingly.
“Jupiter made sure I did,” I answer her just to annoy her more. “Don’t worry about us. He doesn’t even want me that way yet.”
“I still don’t like it,” she says displeased and I roll my eyes.
“She’s nineteen, Mom,” Tom barges into the conversation. “Not seventeen as Princess was when she met Vincent. Princess didn’t steal my food though.”
“Oh I thought it was okay since I saw you let Leanne steal your cake last night!” I say mocking shock.
“That’s different. I’m going to marry her.”
“Oh holy Wolf Spirits, did you finally proposed to her?” I ask with a smirk and he blushes deeply.
“No, but some day,” he says grumpily and I shake my head with a small laughter.
“Sure, little brother. When Leanne is too old to have any children at all.”
“I’m not your little brother! We are the same age.”
“Kids,” Mother stops our bickering. “I also wonder if you ever will make a move on that poor girl Tom. I honestly can’t believe that my daughters have more balls than you. I quite enjoy chasing you kids around but you give me no reasons for parenting.”
“What?” Tom says shocked over her statement. “Dad, did you hear what she just said?”
“Of course I did, son,” Dad says amused. “Sadly I must agree with her. I was quite a rebel when I grew up and I stole your Mother and ran away with her.”
“Did you have to bring that up?” Mother says unimpressed. “That was a horrible trip. My Father beat you up pretty badly when we returned.”
“That’s how men talk!” he defends himself. “I’m quite proud that all my children have found their mates. Leanne is by far my favourite. I just wait for the day she will steal you away since you’re obviously too scared to make a move.”
“Leanne is my favourite too,” I agree. “I’m not sure you deserve her,” I threat him and he angrily gets up onto his feet.
“You’re mean!” he yells at me. “I hope your Spirit tells you that.” He then leaves the house in a sour mood.
Dad chuckles and picks up his newspaper. “At least he gets to taste some of his own medicine.”
Kate’s been quiet through our conversation but she speaks up now. “He’s going to ask her out just to prove a point.”
We all break out in a loud laugh. A kick in the butt is what Tom needs. I’m glad that Kate is here for breakfast and I watch her struggle as she eats her bread. I do think she’s getting a better appetite. Her face is less pale and is getting slightly rounder. This is a good sign.