Cynthia POV
"My girl..." Bethany squealed as she saw me walking into the hallway of school.
"Hey Beth..." I said as she pulled me into a bear hug.
"God! I missed you so much!" She said dramatically.
"Beth, you literally saw me yesterday morning" I replied pulling away.
"Yeah I did but it was only like for a minute or two and we didn't even get to talk properly about the night you got stuck in the library, because you didn't attend class and just left" She explained.
"So was I supposed to attend class after sleeping on cold, hard floor for the entire night?" I asked sarcastically but the minute I said that I realized how bitchy I just sounded, which was absolutely not my intention.
I guess I'm just a little upset about the conversation I had with my dad, this morning at the breakfast table.
"Oh. What has got you so edgy girl?" Bethany asked curiously.
"Nothing...I'm sorry Beth, I shouldn't have talked like that" I replied with a sigh.
"Cynthia..." She paused pulling me away from the crowded hallway.
"We have been friends since we were in diapers, you can literally tell me anything, you know that right?" She continued as I sighed yet again, of course I trust her and can tell her anything that's going on in my head.
"It's just my dad..." I trailed off recalling our conversation from earlier this morning.
Well, thank God! Chase wasn't present there when Dad demanded me to stay away from Damien or else he would have understood that I bluntly lied on his face about Damien being just a fictional character.
"What about him?" Bethany asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Though I don't understand why, but he has asked me to stay the hell away from Damien" I replied.
"Well...that shouldn't be hard, right? You aren't even friends with him and he doesn't even looks your way so..." She stopped in the middle of her sentence, probably realizing what she just said was not exactly that I needed to hear, sure it was true, but that doesn't mean that I needed to hear that from the entire fucking universe.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that there's no reason for Ed to be so worried" She continued.
"I just don't know..." I trailed off with a shrug.
"Honesty I don't get that why he's so worried about this" I added.
"Maybe he thinks that Damien might have a bad influence on you" She replied with a shrug.
"Whatever! Let's just get inside before the class begins" I suggested as she just nodded and we headed towards our class.
"Looking for the very guy, your father asked you to stay away from?" Bethany asked teasingly as she caught me looking around as if I was searching for someone.
"No. Absolutely not" I lied confidently, waving my hand as if it was nothing at all.
I feel like I have been lying a bit too much these day. If I keep up lying at this rate, I'll surely get good at it.
"Oh yeah? Are you sure?" She asked teasingly.
But then again, she's my best friend, she can obviously catch me on my lies, or maybe I'm just a terrible lier after all.
"Beth! You are really not helping with that teasing tone" I replied, irritated while glaring at her.
"Alright. Alright. I'll just pretend that I don't know what's going on in your heart" She said raising her hands up in surrender.
Well...what did she mean by that? I mentally asked myself timidly.
"And I'll just pretend like I never heard what you just said" I replied rolling my eyes, trying to play all cool.
"I was looking for Madi, anyways" I lied yet again as suddenly Madison actually popped into my head.
"You know her, she's just too studious, she must be in the class already" Bethany replied and with that being said we reached our classroom.
I mentally thanked God when I saw that the professor was already present in the class, because that finally stopped Bethany's constant bickering and teasing.
The next few days went by in a blur as I prepared for my upcoming exams which were just the next day after the winter fest.
So you see how intelligent my school authority is to keep exams just the next day after whatever this dump fest that they conduct every year...please note the sarcasm.
But anyways, I believe in myself and I know that I'll perform just amazing at the winter fest as well as my exams.
"Sean, where the hell is your sister? I barely see her these days, except for when we are in class" I asked Sean who just arrived in the cafeteria and sat next to Bethany.
"Oh just don't ask me about it" Sean replied shaking his head as if he knew where she was but yet he didn't want to talk about it.
"Oh you don't know, do you?" Bethany asked moving her gaze from her phone to me.
"What do I not know? Beth" I asked, confused.
"Ugh! You are always behind on school gossip" She replied rolling her eyes and giving me a boring look.
"That's because I don't like snooping around in other people's business, unlike you" I said jokingly.
"Now tell me what is it?" I asked curiously, really wanting to know what has been keeping our dear friend this busy these days.
"She's finally got a boyfriend!" Bethany replied excitedly as if it wasn't Madison's boyfriend we were talking about but her own.
"What?! And she didn't even tell me?" I complained to no one in particular, with a long face suddenly because Madison and I are pretty close and she literally tells me everything, always.
But not this time apparently. This time everybody else knew except me.
"Well. Cynthia, don't feel bad about it, she knew that you have been caught up in your own shit since the past few days..." Bethany paused.
"Maybe that's why she didn't tell you" She continued with a slight shrug.
"Yeah. You are right maybe" I mumbled sadly, realising that I was somehow drifting away from my friends and all this while there was only one person occupying my thoughts.
And that's Damien.
Which reminds me that how I haven't caught even a single glimpse of him anywhere around the school from the past few days.
Yeah, the last time I saw him was when he dropped me off at my place and that's it, I haven't seen him since then, which makes me wonder if something's up in his life, or if he's okay or not, or maybe he's just plainly avoiding me.
But he has always been avoiding me ever since our first encounter but it has never felt this way before...I mean he did avoid and ignore me before but he rarely ever skipped school, I would usually get to catch a glimpse or two of his, in the whole day.
But this time...it's just...it just feels different...him skipping school and me not seeing him since days...I mean it makes me feel weird...it makes my heart feel weird...the way that it has never felt, ever before.
And what's even more weird is that even after my father asked me to stay away from him, my eyes keep looking around for him each day when I enter the school premises, when I pass the school grounds, when I'm walking down the hallways or when I intentionally walk around the school's parking area, in the hope that I might get to see him there, smoking on his stupid motorbike.
But alas, he was nowhere in sight...it's like he just disappeared like he never even existed...but I know he did...my heart is a constant reminder of that...it keeps reminding me of that each and every moment when it craves to see him or when it flutters reminiscing about him.
Somehow I'm not able to understand my own behavior these days...because my father clearly asked me to stay away from him and there's never been a time in my entire life where I have not done as he says...where I have gone against him and this...this feels like going against him.
I love my father so much and I know there's nobody else in this world whom he loves more than me, okay maybe there is and that's my mother, but that's not the point, the point is that I don't want to disappoint him or let him down in any way.
But if you look at the brighter side of this situation, Damien not showing up in front of me...works in my favour as this way I'll be able to do what my father asked me to.
"Hey! Back to earth, Miller" Sean said snapping his fingers in front of my face as I snapped out of my thoughts.
"What were we talking about?" I asked clearing my throat, pretending as if I didn't just zone out.
"About Madi finally having a boyfriend" Bethany replied while giving me a knowing look and narrowing her eyes at me, suspiciously.
"Ah. Yeah...I'm happy for her" I said with a slight nod to myself.
"Hmm" Bethany hummed in response with a sigh.
"Well...Sean has Stella..." She paused as both Sean and I looked at her curiously as to what she was trying to get at.
"And now even Madi has got a boyfriend" She continued, shaking her head.
"It seems like we both are the only single ones left in our group, Cynthia" She added pointing at the both of us.
"Beth, stop being dramatic, you have Steve wrapped around your little finger" I replied rolling my eyes.
"Sure, Steve might like me but he's not my boyfriend" She said in a defensive tone.
"Yet" I mumbled.
"And he even asked you out earlier, so stop whining about being single" I added as she just gawked at my bluntness.
When did I turn so bitter?
"Steve asked you out?" Sean asked confused as Bethany just scoffed at him instead of answering.
"In fact, I should be the one whining about being single...I mean all of you have one thing or the other going on" I said before leaning back on my chair.
"And you don't?" Bethany asked with a knowing looking and an eyebrow raised.
"I mean that I'm eighteen...my teen years would be ending soon and I have never even been on a date, let alone have a boyfriend..." I paused.
"Just think about it, ten years from now, what would I tell my kids, that how boring their mama's teenage life was? That how I never had a boyfriend? Or even went on a date in my teens?" I continued.
"I see how that can be embarrassing" Bethany said nodding her head in agreement.
"Wait a minute!" She added a moment later as if she just realized something.
"No, Cynthia Miller, even you don't get to whine about being single" She said while pointing an accusing finger at me.
"You literally have guys lined up, who would die to be with you...or even go on a date with you...and yet here you are, crying about being single" She added in disbelief.
"Die? Seriously? Don't you think you are exaggerating?" I said shaking my head.
"Yeah actually you don't get to whine, because it's your own fault that you are single. Heck! Even I would have asked you out but I already knew that I would just be added to the list of guys you have turned down..." Sean said as I glared at him before interrupting him.
"Sean, it's a good thing that you chose to not ask me out or else I would have plucked your eyeballs out for even looking at me in any other way then a friend" I snapped, cringing just at the thought of Sean asking me out.
Ugh! That would have surely been weird.
"Yeah I knew that too and that's yet another reason why I never even tried, because you are fucking scary, Miller" Sean replied, as a matter of fact.
"But seriously, are you even into guys?" He added with an annoying grin, which just did what it was supposed to, it annoyed the hell out of me.
"Just shut the fuck up! Sean before I punch your face" I said shaking my head.
"No, seriously, what's your type?" He asked further.
"Oh there comes her type" Bethany commented, winking at me, while looking at someone behind me.
And for some reason I could tell just who she was talking about as my heart raced unusually just at the thought of seeing him once again after so many days.
"Who? Jared?" Sean asked with an almost disgusted face as he probably looked at someone else because he obviously had no idea whom we were talking about.
"Is he really here?" I asked in a low voice.
"No. It's his doppelganger" Bethany replied sarcastically.
"It's really him, dumbo!" She added in a hushed voice.
"Oh" I mumbled while staring down at my nails, finding them so interesting all of a suddenly.
"Really?" Bethany exclaimed in disbelief.
"You have been dying to see him and now that he's finally here, you won't even glance back" She added.
She's got a point though. Why am I not looking back? When I have been dying to catch his one glimpse ever since I saw him last time.
But now when he's just a few steps away from me...I won't even glance back at him. Why? What's holding me back?
"That's bullshit, Beth" I replied rolling my eyes.
"You can fool everybody else but not me, Cyn" She said with a face full of smug.
"Well this time you are wrong, Beth, I didn't even notice that he has been skipping school since the past few days" I replied in a haste.
"Oh. You didn't? Is that why you know that he hasn't been coming to school lately?" She questioned as I just stared at her blankly for a few seconds before speaking.
"I just wanted to thank him for that night...which is why I have been looking for him" I replied.
"Happy?" I added with a sarcastic fake smile.
"And here I thought you thanked him already, with a kiss on his cheek if I may add, when he dropped you home that morning" She said with an 'I know it all look'.
"I just knew I should have never told you that" I replied shaking my head, regretting my decisions.
"Cynthia! Why aren't you looking back?" Bethany asked a moment later.
"I...I just don't know, Beth" I replied in a low voice as she sighed and a few seconds later Sean left saying that he gotta go, leaving me and Bethany sitting alone in absolute silence.
I closed my eyes with a sigh as my stupid heart, which was pounding against my ribcage, urged me to look back at him...once...just once, but I didn't as my mind debated against my heart's desire and at the end my mind won and I...I just didn't look back.
And even though earlier I said that I don't know why I won't look back at him but...deep down I knew the exact reason why.
The restlessness that I have been feeling upon not seeing him just for a few days and the unusual beating and fluttering of my heart when Bethany said that he was just right behind me, told me something...indicated towards something that I was just too afraid to confirm...that I just didn't want to confirm by looking at him.
Not yet at least.
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Until next time.
Love,
Crystal ❤️