I jolt awake with Joseph's eyes still vivid in my mind. My heart is running a marathon in my chest, pumping the adrenaline through my veins just in case he's here.
I swallow harshly, gasping for air as my mouth goes dry, looking around the room with ringing ears. I spot Harry at the side of the bed, hunched over in his chair, smushing his face against the mattress. Memories of yesterday flood through my mind, and I have to fight the basic instinct in me not to panic.
I'm safe.
I'm safe.
I'm safe.
The morning glow cascades into the room through the curtains, making it easier to confirm to me that Joseph isn't in here with me. But a deep rooted feeling in me is telling me to be certain.
I slowly slip out of bed, trying to not make any noise as I lean on my hands. Shutting my eyes tight, I grit my teeth as I carefully shuffle out of bed. My entire body feels sensitive and sore, my skin burns as my clothes rub against it.
Somehow, I manage to get out of bed without waking Harry from his slumber; I would wake him to get him into a more comfortable position, but I have to make sure I'm completely safe. I bring my hand up to the door handle, my heart dropping as I see my bandaged hands. It takes everything in me not to scream as I carefully clamp my hand around the door handle, turning it, and pulling the door open quietly. It's time's like this where you forget how sensitive your hands really are.
It feels like a fist is wrapped around my windpipe as I walk through the house. I can't bring myself to look in the showering room yet, so I open the door to Gemma and Anne's room. In the smaller room, I can only see Gemma sound asleep in bed, but Anne is nowhere to be seen. My eyes widen as I see Anne's vacant place next to Gemma, my blood going cold. I shut the door carefully before moving down the stairs at a quicker pace.
I go straight to the front door, trying the handle only to find that the door is locked. I sigh a little in relief, walking away from it, only to stop a few paces later.
Was it really locked?
Maybe I didn't pull it all the way down.
Frowning, I turn around and move back to the door, trying the handle again- It's locked.
Okay, I'm safe.
I turn around again, going to walk away once more, but I stop after a couple of steps. I turn back to look at the door handle again, fear bubbling inside me.
Just to be sure.
I pull the handle once more, and it's still locked. A small weight lifts from my shoulders, and my heart begins to settle.
"It's locked, sweetheart." Anne's voice startles me, and I spin on my heel, placing a hand on my chest.
"I-I know. I was... just making sure." I frown a little, wrapping my arms around myself.
"You're safe." Her voice almost instantly settles me, and I nod slightly.
"He isn't here?" My anxiety speaks for me, but she doesn't seem to mind. A sympathetic smile appears on her lips before she shakes her head.
"No darling, he's not here." I nod again, looking behind her to see the kitchen is empty.
"Did you want a coffee?" She changes the subject, "I hear you like caramel."
A small smile tugs at my lips, and I nod. "I do like caramel."
"Well, I happen to make a smashing iced caramel latte if you'd like to try it?" Her smile is radiant - infectious, even. You just can't help but smile back.
"I normally drink hot coffee.." I look down at my hands, frowning a little as I'm not sure how I could even lift a hot mug.
"Give it a try for me, you might like it." She shrugs a little, before waving me over to the kitchen. I follow suit, walking into the kitchen.
Sitting down at the dining table, I keep my hands on my lap underneath it, watching Anne prepare the coffee in a glass.
"I'm not a huge fan of coffee, you know? Too bitter for my liking." She looks over at me with a small smile, before she pours caramel into the glass before grabbing some ice cubes out of the freezer and adding them too. "That was until Gemma showed me caramel coffee, I didn't even know you could put different syrups in coffee." She laughs softly.
"I don't like normal coffee either." My voice is quiet, but she still manages to hear me.
"Right? Harry likes to have his black, just like his fa-.. Just like Des." She pours the milk in the glass before adding the shot of coffee.
"But then Gemma also showed me iced coffee. I didn't like the idea at first, I must admit. Cold coffee?" She exaggerates a disgusted face, causing me to laugh quietly. "But it was actually lovely. I still have hot coffee from time to time, but I definitely prefer it cold now."
Opening a small draw, she takes out a straw, swirling the coffee around in the glass to mix it before walking over to me. Sitting down in the opposing chair, she places the glass in front of me. "Here you go."
Thanking her quietly, I lean forward and take a sip out of the straw. It's the weirdest thing, purposefully having a hot beverage cold, but for some reason it works.
"That's actually really good." I chuckle softly, looking at her. She smiles at the compliment, nodding. "I'm glad."
"Now, at some point today, we will be going to collect your stuff from that house." She brings her hands together, resting them on the table with her fingers intertwined.
"N-no" I shake my head, "It's okay."
"It's not okay, sweetheart." She shakes her head, "What happened was not okay. We need to keep you safe, and the safest place for you is somewhere where he doesn't know." She keeps her tone kind, but I can sense the seriousness in her statement.
"I..." My nerves suddenly spike at the idea of going back into the house.
That house used to be my prison after Joseph visited. I would shut myself away from the world for days, but for some reason I don't want to do that anymore. He doesn't know where I am.
"I can't go back there." I whisper, and she nods understandably.
"I don't blame you. Harry, Niall and Jeremy will pack your things, if that's okay with you? Don't worry about rent for the rest of your tenancy either, that's been sorted." She smiles, but I frown heavily.
"No, I can't ask that of anyone."
"You aren't asking, we are offering. Harry loves you Evelyn, you are part of our family now. We help each other and support one another in times of need. It's not a chore nor a burden." She reaches forward with her hands on the table, but then closes them.
She stays silent for a few seconds, sadness gradually overtaking her features. "I am truly sorry with what happened to you Evelyn." She says quietly, her eyes beginning to well up with tears.
I flinch slightly at her words, looking down at my bandaged hands.
"You may not have experienced a lot of love with your family growing up, but you have a new family. You have Harry, me, Gem. You have Niall, and Jeremy - even if he is a moody git." She chuckles through her tears, wiping her eyes.
"I just feel bad for leaving Joseph." I look back up at Anne, my own eyes filling with tears at the twisted truth.
"Oh sweetheart." She stands up, making her way over to my side. She leans down before wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I gladly accept it, feeling the need to let it all go.
"You don't have to be sorry for leaving." She rubs my back gently. She pulls away, cupping my face gently in her hands. "You have a family now, that will always show you love."
Her words somehow manage to glue some pieces of my broken heart together. Instead of the flimsy little pieces of tape holding my heart together, cracks on show, those two sentences managed to hide the cracks with glue.
I've never been able to experience a mother's love, or words of wisdom, until now. And I never ever want to let that go.
Our exchange is cut off by quick thumping footsteps bolting down the stairs.
"Evelyn?!" Harry calls out, running into view. His panicked state immediately dissipates as he makes eye contact with me. He strolls into the kitchen causally, clearing his throat and leaning against the door frame. "You, uh... you okay?"
I try not to smile at his clear embarrassment, but I look at Anne briefly before looking back at him, nodding. "I'm okay."
He smiles at me, but then his eyes dart down to the table. He does a literal double take with wide eyes, only to then narrow them at Anne. "You didn't."
"Oh, I did." Her smile is evident in her voice as she glances down at my iced coffee.
"Feel free to tell her you don't like it Eden, I did. Don't feel like you have to drink that shite." He smirks at Anne, but she waves him off.
"Oh bugger off you, she likes it." She rests a hand on my shoulder, and I take a sip whilst maintaining eye contact with Harry. He immediately gags, holding his hand to his mouth.
"It's actually quite nice." I smile, but he shakes his head. "Don't. It hurts to see you drink that." His voice is muffled behind his hand, and he gags again before shielding his eyes and making his way to the coffee machine to prepare his own coffee.
"So today," Anne starts, walking towards Harry. "You, Niall and Jeremy will be collecting Evelyn's things from her apartment."
Harry looks at me briefly, raising a brow to check to see if I'm alright with this. I give him a nod and a small smile, and he looks back at his mum. "Alright. Do they know about this?"
"They will, I spoke to Niall yesterday after you left. With how urgent it sounded, I told him to keep today free. You can handle Jeremy." Harry immediately groans, rolling his eyes.
"Why me? He actually likes you." Anne laughs at his comment, shaking her head. "He's your best friend-"
"I wouldn't go that far." Harry cuts in, but Anne swats his arm. "Ow!" Harry rubs his arm.
"Fine, I'll call him." He gives in, and finishes making his coffee before looking at me. "Are you okay?"
I frown slightly as he asks me the same question again, nodding. "I'm okay."
"Are you sure? You know... after yesterday. You are well within your right to not feel okay." He grimaces slightly as he mentions yesterday, a few images coming back to me.
I feel my heart start to pound, and my hands begin to tingle slightly, but I put on a smile and nod. "I know, I'm okay."
I don't think my statement convinced anyone, including myself, but no one says anything. Harry looks at me with sad eyes, like he's pleading with me silently to be honest with him. I feel like they're eyes are on me, staring into the darkest depths of me. I can't bear to see their pity looks any longer, so I stand up.
"I'm going back to bed." I say quietly, avoiding their eyes as I walk past. I feel Harry grab my arm gently, "Evelyn" he pleads with me quietly, but I pull away from him with a shake of my head.
"No, Harry." I shut him down, walking away from him and upstairs to his room. I shut the door behind me, taking a deep breath before walking back to bed and getting under the covers, shutting myself away from the world.
---
"Just let her go, Harry." My mother rests her hand on my arm gently, but the lump in my throat grows by the second.
I shake my head, wiping the tears that are already slipping down my cheeks. "She's not okay, mum."
"Of course she isn't, darling. She's been through a traumatic experience. But so did you." Her voice is gentle, but for some reason it frustrates me more.
"No I didn't. He did this to her, not me." I run a hand through my hair, feeling more frustrated that I'm getting so upset by a simple bit of rejection. Mum moves to stand in front of me, cupping my face gently.
"You saw what happened to her, did you not?" She says quietly, and my eyes burn even more as I try to hold everything in. I nod slightly, biting my lip to stifle my emotions.
"I-It was awful mum.." My voice trembles, and I hold onto her arms to ground myself, taking a deep breath. "S-she was so scared... so hurt. And then there was him."
"Did you hurt him?" She frowns slightly, sadness overtaking her features as she continues to hold my face gently.
"Yes." I avert my eyes from hers, knowing how she feels about any forms of violence.
I don't consider myself a violent man anymore, but when it comes to protecting myself or others? I struggle. I can't help but snap at times, there's only so much a person can take before they meet their limit. I'm trying to be better, but when I saw Joseph stand over her with her blood over his hands, I couldn't control myself. Call it instinct or impulse, I acted on it without hesitation.
"Good." She whispers, cutting off my thoughts. I frown in confusion, expecting her to wring my neck but instead I get praise.
"I know, I know. I don't like violence. But if I ever meet that man? I won't hesitate to give him a piece of my mind too." My brows raise at her statement, a surprised chuckle escaping me regardless of how upset I am at the moment.
"Now, call Jeremy and Niall, and help her move home." She smiles softly, patting my cheek before going back to the coffee machine. I take another deep breath, nodding with a heavy sigh. I go to leave the kitchen, only to have my name called once more.
"Oh and Harry?" I turn around to look at my mother, a sad smile on her face. "I'm proud of you. I'm here if you ever need to talk about what happened."
"Thanks mum." I give a small smile before walking towards the door. As soon as I walk out and shut the front door behind me, I call Niall and then Jeremy to meet me there.