Y/n awoke the next day, her eyes blinking open as she took in a deep breath. There was still pain in her side as she did, but it was much less than the day before. She remembered all that had happened on Dathomir. She remembered Cal and the pain she had felt in him. Y/n sat up quickly. Too quickly. She let out a pained groan as she held the spot where the lightsaber dug into her as she put a new shirt on. She wished they had a bacta tank on board. It would make healing much faster.
The door opened suddenly, and she looked to see Greez standing there with hidden concern in his eyes. He held a tray in his hand with some blue milk and some of his lovely meals he always made them on hard days. "You okay, kid?" he asked her softly as he entered.
"As okay as one can be after getting stabbed with a lightsaber," she commented with a light-hearted huff. She winced slightly at her words, saying, "Don't tell Cal I said that."
"You're secret's safe with me," he said as he approached the bed, setting down the tray. His voice lacked its usual spunk, something Y/n noticed immediately.
"Greez, I'm okay. I promise," Y/n told the Latero, and he closed his eyes. "Don't blame Cal for what happened. He didn't-"
"I'm not blaming the kid. He's in bad enough shape as is," Greez eased her, but Y/n's face fell at the mention of Cal's own mental state. Greez sighed, saying, "I don't know what happened, but I do know Cal cares way too much about you to let this kind of thing happen on purpose. Whatever it was was out of his control."
"Then why are you so upset?" she asked, pulling the tray towards her. If she was being honest, the thought of food almost made her want to vomit, but she knew without it she would be in a worse shape than before.
"Because you got hurt, Y/n!" Greez let out, raising two of his arms. "You know I hate seeing you hurt. Emotionally and physically. Both count." Y/n managed a smile, one he mimicked as best he could. "I just... Do you really think you should keep going out there?"
"What do you mean?" Y/n questioned, her brow furrowing.
"I mean you're not a Jedi. You're a seventeen year old girl," Greez pointed out to her. "You're a doctor. You're not supposed to be going out and beating up stormtroopers in your spare time."
"Greez, I'm perfectly capable of handling myself," she told him firmly. "Just because I'm a doctor doesn't mean I can't help those in need in a different way."
"Yeah, but..." Greez paused, his eyes focused only on her. "I don't like that you've gotta. That shouldn't be your job. And this is the exact reason why! What if Cere didn't know what to do? You're our only doctor, Y/n, and you can't operate on yourself. We would've lost you, kid, and my old conscience can't handle that."
"Greez," she eased him, putting hands on his shoulders to stop him. "I'll be okay. You won't lose me anytime soon. I promise, okay?"
"Now, don't go promising a thing like that," Greez shook his head. "You'll end up jinxing it, and then you'll have gone and broken it."
"I'm sorry, Greez, but I can't stop," Y/n shook her head with a sigh. "Not if Cal's gonna keep going."
"You kids shouldn't have this much on your shoulders," Greez grumbled with a shake of his head. "It ain't right. The Empire's ruined everything, even the lives of regular kids like you."
"We were never regular. Not even I was," Y/n spoke, playing with the blanket in her hands. "It was never in the cards for either of us to lead those kinds of lives. That's probably why we work so well together." She smiled down gently at the blanket. "Maybe its why we care about each other so much."
Greez's eyes lifted up slightly at her words. He knew she cared deeply for Cal, as he did with her, but she was so hesitant to admit it. Now, she knew what she was feeling. "Oh, yeah?" Greez genuinely asked, hopping up to sit beside her on the other side of the tray. She picked at the food with the fork he gave her. "Is that it?"
"Who knows?" Y/n whispered gently. "Maybe the Force brought us together. It's like I... feel Cal's emotions. Whenever he's in danger or there's fear in his heart, I know it. Do you think... that's the Force?"
"Y/n, I'm the wrong person to ask about that," Greez chuckled with a shake of his head. "That's a question better aimed at Cere."
"Yeah, but I like talking with you," Y/n sent him a smile with her words.
The Latero man opened his mouth slightly, not used to hearing such sweet words. He nodded his head in thanks, replying, "Yeah, well, you're okay to talk to." She laughed at his words before he said, "Ah, I'm kiddin'. You're a gem, kid."
She smiled wide at his statement, not used to hearing such things come from Greez. He was like the uncle she never had, one she could talk with about almost anything. Y/n let out a breath, taking a sip of blue milk and licking the remnants from her lips. "Do you think... I could really feel this way about someone?" she asked him, her voice almost shaking. "And that he could feel the same... about me?"
"Are you kiddin'?" Greez responded, getting her to look back at him. His face was almost set in disbelief. "Y/n, you're one of the most caring people I've met, and probably the most wonderful. And it's been a pain in my ass seeing the two of you work around each other like some kind of weird human dance." Y/n laughed at his words as her finger ran along the rim of the cup. "Let me just say it's about time you realize for yourself just how head over heels you are for Cal."
Y/n shook her head slightly, saying, "I wouldn't say head over heels-"
"Which one of us has been watchin' the two of you for the past Maker knows how long?" Greez questioned her with a squint of his eye. "Yeah, me. I know love when I see it."
Love. It was strange to think of what she felt as such a strong word. "I'm just so confused," she said, and for some reason her eyes began to sting. "I've never felt like this before. But it's wonderful and... absolutely terrifying."
"Yeah, well, that's love for you. It sucks sometimes," Greez tilted his head back and forth in agreement.
"Yeah, it kinda does. But it's also kind of... awesome?" Y/n spoke with a questioning tone before meeting eyes with Greez and laughing.
"Glad to see you've finally admitted it to yourself," he told her, hopping off her bed with a sigh. "Eat that food, kid. I don't wanna see it get cold."
A knock on the door, notified them of Cere standing in the entrance. There was an obvious smirk on her face, and Y/n reddened slightly when she realized Cere had listened to what they were saying. "Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but I'd like to check on the patient," she said, and Greez nodded.
"Oh, of course. Yeah. I'll get right outta here," Greez said, and gave Y/n a wink. He once again pointed at the tray, saying, "Eat your food!" before leaving the room.
Cere shook her head with a small laugh as Greez exited, walking in to join Y/n as the girl finally took a bite of the food on the tray. "How are you feeling?" Cere asked her.
"Better than yesterday," Y/n admitted, and Cere let out an amused huff.
"I should hope so. You slept for almost twenty four standard hours," Cere told her, which caused Y/n's eyes to widen.
"What??" she exclaimed.
"You needed it," Cere calmed her, and motioned for her to try and stand. "Let's get you back to the med cot and take a look. Hopefully, it's looking better."
"Bacta does work wonders, doesn't it?" Y/n stated, only wincing just a tad as she managed to stay upright on her feet. She followed Cere out the door, and when she looked into the main common room she saw Cal sitting on the couch. When he noticed her, he stood, but he remained away. She couldn't help but feel disappointed, wanting him near her. But she knew he still felt guilty over what happened on Dathomir.
"Y/n," Cere called for her, and she snapped out of her stupor. She followed Cere back to the cot and lifted her shirt, seeing the bandage wrapped around her middle. The bacta patch was on her left side. She was lucky the lightsaber wasn't any higher, otherwise she wouldn't have made it out of Kujet's Tomb. Cere removed the bandage and took a look at both ends of the wound, letting out an impressed gasp as she saw the injury had shrunk. "It's healing very well."
"Let me see," Y/n asked, and bent slight to look down at the cauterized hole in her body. There was a little divot in the skin where the saber had entered, but it was closing up nicely. However, she knew the tissue around it wouldn't heal back right. "I'll still scar, but Echo Weed can help lessen it."
"That's experimental, Y/n," Cere warned her with a shake of her head. "I'm not letting you do it."
"Oh, come on, Cere," Y/n scoffed slightly. "I'm the doctor."
"And I'm your guardian," Cere reminded her with a pointed look. "I won't let you risk this getting infected because of a hunch. Lightsaber wounds aren't like others."
Y/n closed her eyes and sighed, letting out, "Fine." Cere worked on replacing the bacta patch and tying the bandage back up to keep the patches from fraying. "So, can you tell me where we're headed?" She had unfortunately been unconscious when Cal chose their next route.
"We're heading to Ilum," Cere informed her, throwing away leftover supplies. Looking back in Y/n's eyes, she said, "Cal's going to build a new lightsaber."
Y/n nodded her head in understanding and put her shirt back down. She couldn't go on this journey. This trek was Cal's and his alone. She remembered when Cal had told her of what it was like to get his first kyber crystal on Ilum. She wondered if it would be similar this time around. Hearing a song only he could understand, leading him to a power only he could handle. "How long until we get there?" she questioned.
"About another standard day," Cere answered with a cross of her arms. "Luckily for you, you slept through the first half of the trip."
"Yeah, lucky me," Y/n sarcastically responded. A long breath came from her lips as she looked to the hallway, giving it a glance before asking, "How's Cal doing?"
"He's holding up," she told her, sitting down beside the girl. "He still feels guilty over what happened to Jaro Tapal, not to mention what happened to you."
"I've already told him, I don't blame him for what happened," Y/n spoke as she put her hands over her face. Cere put a hand on Y/n's shoulder, gently rubbing to soothe her. "I wish he wouldn't put this on his shoulders. He's already got so much weight to carry."
"You care about him?" Cere asked her, and Y/n nodded her head.
"I know you heard my conversation with Greez," she mumbled through her hands, causing Cere to laugh slightly.
"Yes, I did. And you know what I think?" Cere asked her, causing Y/n to lift her eyes from her hands. "I think you need to be careful. Cal is... highly devoted to the Order."
"I know, I know. 'Jedi must not form attachments' and all that." Y/n leaned back against the wall with a thunk. "I wouldn't try anything, Cere. You know that. I respect him too much to try and worm it out of him, if there's even something there." Cere kept herself quiet on the matter of his feelings. She knew, but it was not her place to tell. With a pat to the cot, Y/n stood up slowly and said, "I'd better get back to Greez's food before it gets cold and he yells at me again."
Cere gave a light nod, but just as Y/n was going to leave, she called her back to say, "Y/n... I know you might not forgive me yet, but I am truly sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have lied to you. You were strong enough without it, and you always have been."
Y/n opened her mouth slightly to speak, but paused. She tapped the side of the door before a gentle grin came over her lips. "It's alright, Cere. You did what you thought was right. I do forgive you."
Joy filled Cere's chest as she smiled and nodded for Y/n to head back to her room. Y/n gave her one last beam before turning and leaving the room, finding Greez's tray still lying there on her bed. But what she didn't expect to see was Cal gently pacing back and forth across her room, muttering to himself. "Cal? What are you doing?" she asked as she grabbed the red poncho, putting it over herself. She didn't know why, but she felt almost bare as he watched her.
"I'm..." Cal started, but he shut himself up. He put his hands over his face, letting out deep breaths. "Y/n, I'm-"
He paused again, and Y/n came forward quickly to bring him into her arms. He didn't cry, but his breathing was still deep as he held her as gently as he could. Like she was glass he would shatter if he held her too tightly. "Cal, you can talk to me," she whispered to him, pulling back to look in his eyes. "Tell me everything."
"I can't get any of it out of my head," Cal whispered, his voice high and broken. "Master Tapal, you, the Purge... It's all too overwhelming and I can't... think."
"Cal, I forgive you," she told him, and somehow it seemed those little words eased a pain off of his chest. "I don't blame you. You couldn't possibly have known I was there. If anything, it's me that's at fault for being such an idiot and sitting in front of you."
"No, don't do that," Cal shook his head. "It was my lightsaber."
"Cal, as long as you didn't actively try to kill me, which I know you didn't, I don't care if it was your lightsaber," she told him plainly. It may have been harsh, but it was the truth. "I. Forgive. You. And I need you to forgive you." She looked to her bed where the tray of food sat waiting. "Come on. Sit down and eat with me. I can't get all this down."
She tugged his hand towards the bed, sitting down on one side as he took the other. She handed him a fork, which he smiled towards her for, and they began eating Greez's lovely meal while she drank her blue milk. "Thanks," Cal looked up at her, leaning on his elbow on the cushions.
"Why don't I tell you a story, or something?" Y/n offered, taking a bite of her food and swallowing it.
His eyebrow raised and he shifted slightly. "A story?" he repeated.
"Yup," she nodded her head at his confusion. "I just want to help ease your mind, Cal. What better way than telling you a story to keep your mind occupied?"
He smiled gently at her, looking down at his hands before back up at her. "A story it is, then," he commented.
"What to pick..." Y/n racked her brain for a story to tell. She stood from her spot on the bed and rushed as fast as she could to the bookshelf, finding an old batch of tales her father used to read to her entitled The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Flipping through its pages, she stopped once she reached a story she loved as a child. "Oh, I know. This one is called The Fountain of Fair Fortune."
Cal smiled when she sat back down with the blue book in her hand. It was slimmer compared to the others and had dark green lining over the edges and decorating the front. "I can't wait to hear it," he said, her voice already easing the stress laying on his mind.
"All right, here we go," Y/n breathed as she settled back. "High on a hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune. Once a year, between the hours of sunrise and sunset on the longest day, a single unfortunate was given the chance to fight their way to the Fountain, bathe in its waters and receive Fair Fortune for evermore. On the appointed day, hundreds of people traveled from all over the kingdom to reach the garden walls before dawn. Male and female, rich and poor, young and old, of magical means and without, they gathered in the darkness, each hoping that they would be the one to gain entrance to the garden.
"Three witches, each with her burden of woe, met on the outskirts of the crowd, and told one another their sorrows as they waited for sunrise. The first, by name Asha, was sick of a malady no Healer could cure. She hoped that the Fountain would banish her symptoms and grants her a long and happy life. The second, by name Altheda, had been robbed of her home, her gold and her wand by an evil sorcerer. She hoped that that Fountain might relieve her of her powerlessness and poverty. The third, by name Amata, had been deserted by a man whom she loved dearly, and she thought her heart would never mend. She hoped that the Fountain would relieve her of her grief and longing. Pitying each other, the three women agreed that, should the chance befall them, they would unite and try to reach the Fountain together.
"The sky was rent with the first ray of sun, and a chink in the wall opened. The crowd surged forward, each of them shrieking their claim for the Fountain's benison. Creepers from the garden beyond snaked themselves around the first witch, Asha. She grasped the wrist of the second witch, Altheda, who seized tight upon the robes of the third witch, Amata. And Amata became caught upon the armor of a dismal-looking knight who was seated on a bone-thin horse. The creepers tugged the three witches through the chink in the wall, and the knight was dragged off his steed after them. The furious screams of the disappointed throng rose upon the morning air, then fell silent as the garden walls sealed once more."
Cal listened with an eager heart as Y/n told the story. True enough to her word, his mind leaned only towards the words she read from the book and not the sorrowful thoughts that Kujet's Tomb had left him with. He felt nothing but joy sitting here with her, listening to her soothing voice speak to him a story from her past. The little book she held in her hands was weary and worn down, the edges fraying and the pages yellowed. It was old, very old. Especially considering many places among the galaxy didn't even know books with paper pages existed. With each turn of the page, Cal became more and more enthralled as he listened to the tale of the three women who each played a role in their journey to the Fountain and the luckless knight that had found his way at their side.
Cal sat up straighter as she continued on with the story, focusing on the way her lips moved and the way her voice rose and fell with the contents of the book. "The Fountain shimmered before them, set amidst herbs and flowers rarer and more beautiful than any they had yet seen. They sky burned ruby, and it was time to decide which of them would bathe. Before they could make the decision, however, frail Asha fell to the ground. Exhausted by their struggle to the summit, she was close to death. Her three friends would have carried her to the Fountain, but Asha was in mortal agony and begged them not to touch her.
"Then Altheda hastened to pick all those herbs she thought most hopeful, and mixed them in Sir Luckless's gourd of water, and poured the potion into Asha's mouth. At once, Asha was able to stand. What was more, all symptoms of her dread malady had vanished. 'I am cured!' she cried. 'I have no need of the Fountain - let Altheda bathe!' But Altheda was busy collecting more herbs in her apron. 'If I can cure this disease, I shall earn gold aplenty! Let Amata bathe!' Sir Luckless bowed, and gestured Amata towards the Fountain, but she shook her head. The stream had washed away all regret for her lover, and she saw now that he had been cruel and faithless, and that it was happiness enough to be rid of him.
"'Good sir, you must bathe, as a reward for all your chivalry!' she told Sir Luckless. So the knight clanked forth in the last rays of the setting sun, and bathed in the Fountain of Fair Fortune, astonished that he was chosen one of hundreds and giddy with his incredible luck. As the sun fell below the horizon, Sir Luckless emerged from the waters with the glory of his triumph upon him, and flung himself in his rusted armor at the feet of Amata, who was the kindest and most beautiful woman he had ever beheld. Flushed with success, he begged for her hand and her heart, and Amata no less delighted, realized that she had found a man worthy of them.
"The three witches and the knight set off down the hill together, arm in arm, and all four led long and happy lives, and none of them ever knew or suspected that the Fountain's waters carried no enchantment at all." Y/n finished with a little beam on her lips, closing the book as she said, "The end."
Cal couldn't help but smile. Just smile. Listening to her read him a story had truly been one of the only moments in his life he felt like he could sit back and relax, forgetting the worries of his past, present, and future. "That was incredible," he told her, and she looked down at the book with a light redness coming over her face. "Thank you, Y/n. Really. I haven't felt this at ease in... a while."
"It was the least I could do," she replied to him, setting the book beside her as she reached for more food.
"You've done so much for me," Cal realized, shaking his head at the thought. "And I haven't nearly repaid you enough."
"You don't need to repay me," she told him, slightly in disbelief of his words. "Just knowing you're alright is enough for me, Cal."
"I..." Cal began, but stopped himself. He was so close. So close to saying those little words that would rip both of their words apart. She was far too kind to him, and he didn't deserve it all. He didn't deserve her. He couldn't. The Jedi never let themselves self indulge, and she was the center of everything he ever wanted. Instead, he gave into the voice whispering for him to stop, and stood up as he said, "I should let you rest. You've still got a lot of healing to do."
Her face fell, and she nodded her head in understanding. "Yeah, sure," she said, leaning back on the headboard behind her. "I'll see you later, then?"
"Yeah," he let out with a breath, straightening his poncho once he reminded himself she was wearing the one he gave her on Zeffo. "Thanks again for the story. It really helped."
"Anytime," she answered back. Holding up the book, she said, "I've still got four more stories in here."
"I'll keep that in mind," he said, and turned to leave her room. Almost as soon as he did, he felt the weight of the galaxy fall back on him. But there was one thing he didn't have weighing on him anymore: Y/n's injury. Her words had eased his conscience just enough for him, but the rest of his mind was still filled with the events of the Purge.
~~~
Y/n had a bit of a rough time getting to sleep the next night. Without her Blue Ivy Tea, she lay awake, staring up at the ceiling while tapping her fingers against her stomach. Not to mention the fact that because she had slept almost twenty four hours the day before, she was wide awake. She cursed her stupid body for having to rest so much to heal. She knew it was good to rest, but now she couldn't sleep.
Y/n turned over in her bed, trying to find another comfortable position, but as she closed her eyes, she felt a lurch within her stomach. Her eyes snapped open at the sudden feeling of anguish that overcame her. She clutched her chest, shaking her head to try and remove it. It refused to ebb and allow her to sleep. With an annoyed groan, she flung the blankets off her legs and carefully swung off her bed. She grabbed the poncho hanging over her chair and slipped it over herself before making to walk out of the room.
Except she couldn't, because when she opened the door, there stood Cal Kestis with tears streaming down his cheeks that he tried to hide. "Cal, what's going on?" she questioned him.
"I..." Cal let out a breath as he tried to speak. "Can I bunk here... with you? I can't sleep."
Y/n's expression morphed into one of sympathy as she looked him over. "Nightmares?" she asked.
He nodded his head. "Yeah... about the Purge," he told her, looking down at the floor as he leaned against the door frame. Y/n took his hand gently, but he still didn't look up until she gently tugged him into her room. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to-"
"Hey, it's alright, Cal," Y/n assured him. "It's nothing we haven't done before."
"Fair," he admitted with a small laugh, something she was glad to see from him. "I just don't want to be a burden-"
"Hey. Look at me," Y/n said, and Cal finally met her eyes for the first time all night. "You will never be a burden. I don't care if I'm injured or whatever, come to me whenever you need to, alright?"
"What would I do without you?" he asked, more to himself than to her.
"You'll never have to know," Y/n told him and urged him onto the bed. "Now come on. Let's get some sleep. From what you told me about Ilum, you'll need it."
Cal climbed on first per her gesture and felt the bed dip as she climbed on after him. He tried to keep himself at an appropriate distance from her so as to not make her uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop the slight shiver in his body. He was cold, inside and out, and he felt terrible. His mind was on a constant run to keep reminding himself of Master Tapal and the loss of his Order. He felt tears prick at his eyes once more, feeling more alone now than he ever had in his entire life.
Until he felt it.
A hand came and touched his bare shoulder, causing him to look over to see Y/n's eyes on him. She urged him onto his back before laying down herself and wrapping her arms around him. His head fell onto her chest and subconsciously his hands wrapped carefully around her torso. He didn't want to accidentally nudge against the wound on her left. He felt her hand start to run through his copper hair, and suddenly a sense of ease came over him. He reached out towards her with the Force, just wanting to feel every part of her. His connection with her allowed him to sense just how bright she was in the spectrum of the Force. Her mind was a stream of colors, extending beyond the sky. A light of infinite wonders a billion light-years from here now.
He no longer felt the prick of tears in his eyes, only hearing the heartbeat under his ear of the girl he loved.
And finally, they fell asleep.