A/N:
Enjoy this one. I totally freaked out the judge that read this :D It's funny how they don't blink an eye at my more violent works, but they get all disgusted and weirded out as soon as I say sewer....... Well, I guess we're all stupid teenagers at heart ;)
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I hate to think about it but the worst is yet to come. You will not understand until I tell you something about myself. Well, I'm a marshmallow. Okay, maybe we can't talk or move but we have feelings! I already went through a long journey as a marshmallow named Joe. Until I was so rudely eaten by a man named Hugh. How wonderful. Being eaten wasn't fun but now even worse, I have to be digested and come out somehow. The worst really is yet to come.
After 6 to 8 hours, I was... well, you know. And then I'm flushed down a toilet! I hope that I get to go in the ocean! Yeah, some place tropical! That would be fun. But sadly, my bad luck didn't let me go on a tropical vacation. Now I'm stuck in a sewer. Don't ask mw how long I've been here. Years, it seems. Eventually, someone climbs down a manhole. Wait, what?! Who is stupid enough to come down a manhole? Oh, now I know. When I was still a marshmallow, a kid by the name of Jeremy, Jeremy the Jerk, squashed me! That kid really is stupid. He climbs down the ladder with some of his jerk-friends.
The kids laugh like they're drunk or something. I guess, by now, Jeremy would be out of high school. He must be over 21. I've been stuck down here for almost five years? Great. Then, Jeremy stares really hard at me and says, "I know this... well, you know. I think it used to be a marshmallow." That kid must have and amazing memory. I don't even look anything like I did before.
The next part gets a little long, so I'll sum it all up. After so many years, I became a fossil and was melted in the Earth's core. I was reborn as a rock, underground, waiting to see the light of day. Until someone decided to dig me up. The kid must have been a rock collector because he took me inside and placed me next to a ton of other rocks. Jeez, the future is boring. The only difference is that people wear spandex with bright colors. Stupid future people. Then I read the name above the kid's door. It reads Jeremy LeJerk.
It's-It's Jeremy the Jerk, only reincarnated! Is there no end to my bad luck? After many years as part of a rock collection, I was just smashed. The stupid kid took a hammer and smashed me! I guess the worst is really yet to come. That's why it's a good thing that, no matter how many times I'm destroyed, I can still live. That's the beauty of being a marshmallow/...well you know what/rock. I will continue my dream to rule the world as an immortal being. Ha Ha Ha! Maybe that's a little excessive. How about my goal is to kill that stupid Jeremy the Jerk, once and for all! Ha Ha Ha! I still can't do that. I guess I'll just live out my life with my bad luck. If I could cry, I would.